April Munchkins 2013- enjoying our wonderful babies!

[Steph82]

LittleSpy, thank you! Great information!! All this is soo overwhelming.

How much is it to rent a pump from the hospital??

 

[Bjs2005]

So... I hate to be the bearer of bad news and I hope this comes across as helpful because that's how I mean it -- but that's against the rules of "Obamacare." If you're even ELIGIBLE for other coverage, your parents can't cover you. So if they're paying for it, they're wasting their money as their insurance isn't going to cover a dime of your health care costs given you are not only eligible for other coverage but are actually covered by it. There may even be penalties associated with it. You may want to fact check that (their HR people should know) but I worked in insurance/benefits when that law passed so I'm pretty sure I'm right. They should really stop wasting their money.

That's good to hear! I haven't been using theirs since I got my own, but when I got some lab work done at my new dr's I noticed it got billed under my old primary care (my dad's) which the lab company must have had from when I got work done sometime (somewhere else) in the past. So my parents called their insurance companies and asked about it and they said I could still be on until the end of April, but I will have them double check to make sure! It's always better to know now instead of later and more bills! Even if I don't have theirs, my medical insurance is pretty good.

 

[maybesoon]

Wow!!! LittleSpy thanks for the information!!!! I thought I had done so much research on them & yet I still didn't know any of that stuff. I'm thankful the one I got used was really NOT used & I'm pretty sure I can trust her because my bff is the mommy of 3 now & she wouldn't let me get something she thought wasn't safe. She does have the 411 on pumping & breastfeeding we just haven't had a chance to really talk much about it since she's busy with 3 kiddos 12 yrs, 2 yrs & 3 months.... And well with all the drama with my oh lately.... I just haven't really been in the mood to discuss our issues with anyone. She & my Mom already HATE him to no end, so I'm trying to not discuss anything around them. I think my Dad is the only one who is supportive with me & the fact that I do want us to work & I am trying to give him time to be the man I know he can be.....

UGH.... I feel so stupid about all this baby/pregnancy stuff. You would think with all the babies I have been around my entire life their mothers would have talked more about this stuff..... Guess it's just something you don't discuss.

 

[LittleSpy]

So... I hate to be the bearer of bad news and I hope this comes across as helpful because that's how I mean it -- but that's against the rules of "Obamacare." If you're even ELIGIBLE for other coverage, your parents can't cover you. So if they're paying for it, they're wasting their money as their insurance isn't going to cover a dime of your health care costs given you are not only eligible for other coverage but are actually covered by it. There may even be penalties associated with it. You may want to fact check that (their HR people should know) but I worked in insurance/benefits when that law passed so I'm pretty sure I'm right. They should really stop wasting their money.

That's good to hear! I haven't been using theirs since I got my own, but when I got some lab work done at my new dr's I noticed it got billed under my old primary care (my dad's) which the lab company must have had from when I got work done sometime (somewhere else) in the past. So my parents called their insurance companies and asked about it and they said I could still be on until the end of April, but I will have them double check to make sure! It's always better to know now instead of later and more bills! Even if I don't have theirs, my medical insurance is pretty good.

That's good. Here it's always possible the law varies from state to state or even insurance company to insurance company. Would be great if you can stay on as long as they're not paying out a ton of money to keep you on (looking at cost of premiums vs how much the insurance is really going to cover).

 

[kirstabelle]

I cant believe this either!!! Its shocking that you have to pay to bring your baby into the world! What would they do if you had no insurance, got pregnant and went into labour? surely they wouldnt leave you on the street??

xx

That's one of the reasons the US has one of the worst infant mortality rates in the developed world, because there are women who do not receive adequate prenatal care because they don't have insurance/money to pay for it. I read an article not long ago that said African-American babies have a death rate that is twice the national average. Its unbelievable. As a person who was born and grew up in countries with universal healthcare I just get so upset about it.

We do have great health insurance through my OH's job and almost everything for prenatal and maternity care is 100% covered... but we will be paying more than $400 out of pocket for my NT scan because my insurance doesn't cover it if you are under 35... even though women under 35 still have the most babies with down syndrome. So while I think that is ridiculous, I'm still better off than other people in this country, so that keeps my complaints about it in perspective.

We have decided to do midwife led care, so I don't have an OB (the only doctor I have seen in my whole pregnancy so far was the specialist who looked at our NT scan) I just see nurses and midwives and as long as my pregnancy continues to me normal and low risk my baby will be delivered by a midwife at the hospital. There are OB's on call at the hospital in case of an emergency if you need surgery/forceps delivery/vacuum extraction etc. Hoping not to need any of those but feel safer knowing that if its needed its there. If I go for my prenatal visits on the same day of the week every time then I will see the same midwife, but on the day of delivery you can't pick who's on call. So I don't mind seeing different midwives for appointments and all the midwives at the practice share the same values so I feel confident that whoever is there to catch the baby will be fine. We just went for a tour of the birth center and a "meet the midwives" event last night where we got to meet most of the midwives in the practice. They had a Q&A session and all their answers were in such close alignment with my own feelings that I feel much more confident about the birth now.

Doggylover - don't let negative people who have never even tried cloth diapers put you off doing it. I get the same negativity from my FIL who cloth diapered in the late 70's and early 80's... yeah not the same. My MIL is into it though and read a modern cloth diapering book I have and my Mum is totally into it too. You've done so much research and thought about it so thoroughly that its going to turn out fine.

 

[LittleSpy]

UGH.... I feel so stupid about all this baby/pregnancy stuff. You would think with all the babies I have been around my entire life their mothers would have talked more about this stuff..... Guess it's just something you don't discuss.

That's the thing. Especially breastfeeding. And I think the lack of communication and support is why so few women are still breastfeeding after 6 months.

Never in my life had I heard of someone not making enough millk for their baby. I felt like an utter failure (haha... or udder failure )! Then, of the women I was pregnant with last time on here and another site, several of us had supply issues. Some resolved after a month or two and are still breastfeeding and some (like me) never produced enough despite months of effort. Now the more I talk about it the more people are like "Oh yeah that happened to me so I just fed formula" or "oh yeah, I had to supplement with formula until ___." Really? Why didn't I know it happens?! When I talked to my mom about it when I was pregnant last time she was just like "Oh, it'll come naturally." That's the biggest bunch of bullshit anyone will ever tell you. Don't believe that for a second. It does come naturally for some moms/babies but sometimes it isn't "natural" for either. And that's okay and you can work through it but know that for some it can be a whole lot of work. And it's something you're really going to have to commit to if you want it to happen. Even most of the women I know who successfully breastfed for a long time (over 6 months) were told they had to start supplementing at some point during the first week of the baby's life. That's okay. Just because you need to supplement for a little while doesn't mean it's forever so don't let that discourage you. And please actually consider supplementing if you're told to supplement. It may not be what you want, but it's probably best for your baby (I remember how upset I was about having to do it because I had planned on EBF). I have a friend who just nearly KILLED her 7 month old son because her milk supply suddenly dropped and she REFUSED to supplement. He actually ended up in the hospital for over a week. He had lost 30% of his body weight and he was develepmentally delayed due to malnutrition. That's some of the most ridiculous crap I've ever heard. How is starving your child to near death better than formula? Whatever. It just bothers me that she was so rigid about her stance against formula (of course I'm sure I feel like it's a personal attack on me since I supplemented with 20oz formula/day while breastfeeding dd).

And I don't want to discourage anyone from breastfeeding -- just the opposite! I'm a huge advocate! But I feel like telling someone breastfeeding is going to happen naturally and be easy is completely setting them up for failure. Post-partum emotions are no joke and you're really fragile then and when things don't go perfectly like you've been told they will, you're going to feel like a horrible failure as a mother (which of course is ridiculous and so far from the truth but I know so many people who have felt that way just because breastfeeding wasn't "natural" and "perfect" for them ). So I think the best thing you can do is communicate about it and ask questions and go to breastfeeding support groups and several lactation consultants and all that good stuff.

And that was a novel. Sorry.

 

[kirstabelle]

LittleSpy I'm in the same boat. If I am single or legally separated I qualify but with my oh I do not. So I'm on the fence on whether to apply or not. I don't want to get it & then if we get back together get it taken away. So I'm not sure what to do....

See, I wouldn't qualify without hubby, even with 2 kids. I make too much to qualify with just a "family of 3." So it's another reason to keep the bum around.

That really made me laugh Little Spy!

 

[ukgirl23]

on the breast pump thing, I go for Advent every time, you can buy one in boots or mothercare for £85 ish which includes pump, bottles, storing tubs and easy flow teats. I'll be getting that one in electric because the manual pump hurt my hand last time and was a bit time consuming.

My last one was second hand, I washed it all by hand then in the dishwasher then I steralised it, if it's old the replace the rubber bits as they can erode.

 

[melissasbump]

Ukgirl that seems very unfair re your little boy, i agree with doggylover, maybe a meeting could be arranged between you and the school to discuss further? by the way Lucas is our 1st choice boys name for this LO!

Littlespy, some great and helpful information from you re breastpumps etc. I was unfortunatly one of those last time who was unsuccessful in breastfeeding, but my little boy has been non the worse for formula, in fact he thrived on it. Not trying to deter anyone at all, i just dont want people to put immense pressure on themselves if it doesnt happen for them, or feel like failures, as i did for a while..

Im with you ladies re benefits (or lack of) its so tough for young families at the moment with little help and astronomical childcare costs, it seems the more you work the less money you have.. i too am grateful for the NHS, The insurance thing sounds very complicated.
i remember a film with Denzel Washington in it whos chilld got ill and he realised he didnt have healthcare cover so the film was basically him going to extreme lengths to get his son treated (can remember the name of it) that seems really scarey!

My little boy isnt well, we had to skip swimming today and went to the docs, hes got a chesty cough but the doc didnt prescribe anything for him, just gonna be the usual dosage of calpol. Ive also felt poo, struggling to sleep at night but needed a nap this afternoon. Urrgggh!

 

[melissasbump]

UGH.... I feel so stupid about all this baby/pregnancy stuff. You would think with all the babies I have been around my entire life their mothers would have talked more about this stuff..... Guess it's just something you don't discuss.

That's the thing. Especially breastfeeding. And I think the lack of communication and support is why so few women are still breastfeeding after 6 months.

Never in my life had I heard of someone not making enough millk for their baby. I felt like an utter failure (haha... or udder failure )! Then, of the women I was pregnant with last time on here and another site, several of us had supply issues. Some resolved after a month or two and are still breastfeeding and some (like me) never produced enough despite months of effort. Now the more I talk about it the more people are like "Oh yeah that happened to me so I just fed formula" or "oh yeah, I had to supplement with formula until ___." Really? Why didn't I know it happens?! When I talked to my mom about it when I was pregnant last time she was just like "Oh, it'll come naturally." That's the biggest bunch of bullshit anyone will ever tell you. Don't believe that for a second. It does come naturally for some moms/babies but sometimes it isn't "natural" for either. And that's okay and you can work through it but know that for some it can be a whole lot of work. And it's something you're really going to have to commit to if you want it to happen. Even most of the women I know who successfully breastfed for a long time (over 6 months) were told they had to start supplementing at some point during the first week for the baby's life. That's okay. Just because you need to supplement for a little while doesn't mean it's forever so don't let that discourage you.

And I don't want to discourage anyone from breastfeeding -- just the opposite! I'm a huge advocate! But I feel like telling someone breastfeeding is going to happen naturally and be easy is completely setting them up for failure. Part-partum emotions are no joke and you're really fragile then and when things don't go perfectly like you've been told they will, you're going to feel like a horrible failure as a mother (which of course is ridiculous and so far from the truth but I know so many people who have felt that way just because breastfeeding wasn't "natural" and "perfect" for them ). So I think the best thing you can do is communicate about it and ask questions and go to breastfeeding support groups and several lactation consultants and all that good stuff.

thanks Littlespy, this is a much more detailed example of what i was trying to say x

 

[ukgirl23]

aww mellissasbump, I hope your little boy feels better soon! I hate it when kids are sick, I wish I could just take it away and be sick for them lol.

When I chose Luke's name I was a huge fan of one tree hill, my ex husband Looks a bit like Lucas from there and I imagined that is how my son would look when he grew up, weird reason's I know but hey ho, and at the time I chose it we were living in Norway where Lucas was a rare name, when we moved home to the UK we met LOADS of other little boys called Lucas lol.

As for benefits, We are on benefits, i worked for years since I was 14, I was a part time cleaner then I was in sales for a few years, so when I got married and I got pregnant we were supporting ourselves, when my ex husband got violent I had no choice but to leave him and I had no choice but to come back to the UK and in order to feed 2 small babies, since I was unable to work at that point I had no choice but to go on the benefit system. My OH works now so we don't get as much as people who dont have benefits seem to think we do. Some people think people on benefits are loaded with flat screens in every room and holidays every year, I've never been able to afford to take my kids on holiday and the tv's we have are what my OH paid for with his wages, all our benefits go on bills and rent. When this baby is in full time school I will be off to work full time in nursing. This is my last baby so I'm going to enjoy my time with my children. I have the rest of my life after this to work until retirement

 

[maybesoon]

LittleSpy.... I don't know about anywhere else, but one thing my bff has made really clear to me is that the lactation consultants at our local hospital really suck. She said they are great for the first 24 hours but after that you are basically on your own unless you are on WIC and they have fantastic consultants. So I have signed up for WIC just to have the lactation consultants later because I'm sure since this is my first I'm going to have several issues...... Nothing with me is easy!!!!

 

[doggylover]

Whoa well I am totally baffled as to the entire US system of medical care. Seems like there are lots if ways to get your health costs covered, but so confusing!

Thanks to all for the breast pump info. My SIL has two pumps, which I will borrow, but its good to know that I have to get new bits and bobs. Not something I had thought about.

I'm really hoping to breastfeeding, but I read so much about people having trouble and just assume that will happen to me

Kristabelle thanks for the support re: cloth. I'm hoping to prove SIL wrong, and have a cute cloth bummed baby to show off as well!

 

[melissasbump]

Ukgirl, sorry i didnt mean to offend people on benefits, i hope you didnt take it that way, and from what you have been through i think you have done fantastic, i think what i meant to say (it came out wrong) is that with taxes and everything getting so expensive (me and my husband have just lost nearly £300 per month in increased pension contributions) And is the people who choose not to work but get disability etc without really needing it that get my goat. Certainly not yourself please dont think i meant that.

 

[nimbec]

Yes the same here Ukgirl I was meaning people that truly didn't need it or intentionally used it as a career pathway. I think you've done an amazing job!!! I hope I didn't offend you!!!!

 

[doggylover]

Melissasbump I know how you feel, I am losing over £100 more than before due o pension increases. Which means my annual pay rise took me back to what I was earning before.

Bloody taxes etc.

 

[maybesoon]

melissasbump.... I know exactly how you feel. I have 2 cousins that have had all 4 of their kids (combined) paid for plus daycare & they paid them to go to college while paying for their college. Both of them are completely capable of working, both in their mid 20's so it just pisses me off to no end that my taxes are paying for them to sit on their butts and do nothing. Then at family get togethers I get to hear all about their "party/bar/club/drinking" lives. They will drop their kiddos off with their aunt & stay out partying all night & sleep half the day. It pisses me off that our aunt allows that behavior. No responsibilities at all. So why not just keep having kids. It's nothing to them....

 

[melissasbump]

thanks girls, phew! glad you know what i mean, i have no issues with people on benefits for the right reasons, just the layabouts that get it because they cant be arsed.

 

[melissasbump]

doggylover you got a payrise! whats one of those! lol x

 

[doggylover]

What gets me are the ones you see in the paper who go to Florida etc and are demanding a bigger house for their next child, because they have to share bedrooms. Heaven forbid. Some people just expect handouts, and will never work, and have to desire to. Makes me angry!