Are pregnant women entitled to special treatment?

[pixeldust]

Something I've been thinking about a bit since being pregnant.

Since I started showing, I've had issues with public transport, in that I often have ended up standing up for my journey, something I have not always found easy. There are definitely days where even walking a short distance leaves me in quite a bit of pain, and being able to sit down is a lifesaver. It used to bother me a lot, that no one would offer me a seat on the bus when I was obviously in need, but more so it would bother me to see people not giving up their seats for elderly people who in my eyes are less capable of standing.

After being particularly outraged one time, I started doing some googling, and came across some sites run by the child free, which got me thinking. These people (generally) seem to be of the opinion that pregnant women are not entitled to any special treatment, because having a child is a choice that has been actively made. And that women who assume that they are entitled to sit down on public transport are sadly mistaken.

And you know what? I have to say the more I read, the more I actually agree.

An elderly person is elderly as everyone will be if they get to that age. And generally, they are less able bodied. That isn't a choice. I do agree that they are entitled to be given comfort, and I would expect that anyone would offer them a seat on public transport, especially the young and able bodied.

But we've all chosen pregnancy, right? So does this choice give us any kind of entitlement? Are we more entitled to sit down than someone else who has paid a full fare for their journey? Not saying that it wouldn't be *polite* to let someone sit down if they are in obvious pain or discomfort, because of course it is, but it's the sense of entitlement I am getting at.

If you weren't given a seat while obviously quite pregnant on a public transport journey would you feel anger? Do you feel that you deserve to sit down more than an able bodied person?


Blog post here: https://thebritgirl.com/2011/04/04/childfree-do-you-happily-give-up-your-seat-to-pregnant-women/

 

[smelly07]

I dont think pregnant women should be 'entitled' to special treatment but it doesnt cost anything to have some manners and i would definitely give up my seat for someone i thought needed it more.

I have caught public transport whilst pregnant alot with my first daughter as i worked fulltime and didnt drive and i use to end up standing up on journeys home, i didnt think much of it in all honesty. x

 

[tina3747]

I think it's just common courtesy, one one the many things as well as respect that seems to be lacking these days!
I'd say I go out of my way to hold doors ect for anyone not just pregnant women, I certainly give my seat up for one. I'd like to think whilst pregnant people to do the same!

 

[Lightworker]

I don't look at it in terms of "entitlement" more just being human. Someone is in pain, tired, dizzy..they sit, I stand.
n
If a young man, in good health was on the bus with me and said "please could I sit down, I am so shattered"..if I'm not equally tired, I will stand..simple..its about being human.

The argument that pregnant women choose to be pregnant, and therefore choose and accept the side effects of pregnancy, whilst I can see it from a logical perspective, is in reality a very mean-spirited one. It's like me sitting while an older lady stands and my defence is that "well no one forced you to grow old, you could have died sooner"...

hmmm

 

[Lina]

These are probably the same people who believe pregnant women deserve no maternity leave or pay because they choose to have children. Makes me wonder how they wish to draw their pensions if we all had a similar lifestyle. I don't think many pregnant women expect to be given priority when the elderly are often standing next to them.

 

[Blah11]

no, not entitled but i agree with the others, people should have manners and offer seats to pregnant ladies along with elderly, disabled and people with small children.

 

[Tasha]

I dont believe they have an entitlement, however I would always offer my seat to a pregnant woman. Firstly because it is tiring but also for safety, I would not want a pregnant woman to fall over.

 

[pixeldust]

OK, I definitely agree with basic manners - if I see anyone who is obviously in discomfort, then I offer them my seat, and always have, regardless of whether they are 15 years old or 95. I do offer my seat to the elderly as a matter of course, as I know they can appear stoic but be in a lot of pain, and 9 times out of 10 they are extremely grateful when I do offer them a seat, even if they don't take it.

I guess what I am more getting at is that sense of outrage and entitlement that I've seen (and even felt myself until I started reading others thoughts on it and seeing it form the other side) on here and other forums. That sense that as a pregnant woman, you are entitled to a seat on public transport, that you are entitled to queue jump, or that you are entitled to a parking spot close to the supermarket or mall, simply because you are pregnant.

 

[Tasha]

OK, I definitely agree with basic manners - if I see anyone who is obviously in discomfort, then I offer them my seat, and always have, regardless of whether they are 15 years old or 95. I do offer my seat to the elderly as a matter of course, as I know they can appear stoic but be in a lot of pain, and 9 times out of 10 they are extremely grateful when I do offer them a seat, even if they don't take it.

I guess what I am more getting at is that sense of outrage and entitlement that I've seen (and even felt myself until I started reading others thoughts on it and seeing it form the other side) on here and other forums. That sense that as a pregnant woman, you are entitled to a seat on public transport, that you are entitled to queue jump, or that you are entitled to a parking spot close to the supermarket or mall, simply because you are pregnant.

I have seen a few women act entitled on the tube/bus, and once of twice I have seen a pregnant woman desperate for the toilet and ask to queue jump (but it was always ask not just expect) but other than that I have never seen any sort of entitlement attitude.

 

[Blah11]

only thing that made me mad is when i was about 37w with roman and i had a seat in a full bus. an old man got on and only i stood up i find age 45-60ishwomen the worst for not offering their seat up.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

No I don't think pregnant women are entitled or should be entitled too 'special treatment', personally though I would offer my seat to a pregnant women, an elderly man/women, a women with a small child etc, manners cost nothing and as I'm perfectly able to be standing then I'm more than happy to give my seat to someone that needs it more than me.

When I was pregnant though I would never have expected anyone to offer me their seat and would have never dreamed that I was more entitled to it than them.

 

[Yammas]

I havnet been pregnant yet so cant comment on that side of things but I agree its more common courtesy than entitlement. However, I worked with a woman who used her pregnancy as an excuse for everything long before she was showing, and trust me it wore thin, the most ridiculous part of it was that there was an assisstant who was almosst due to give birth and she ran the poor girl ragged.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I would also offer my seat to a pregnant woman or the elderly or a woman with an infant, especially in New York where everything is so crowded. I see all the time how people don't offer, I find it rude. I was raised to do things like this and it has just always stuck with me. I also always say thank you and welcome , so do my kids I taught that to them at a very early age. My oldest son once in my presence opened the door and let a woman walk through first, I was so happy he did that I know it is not a big thing , but it was for me, you feel like all your hard work paid off a bit..

 

[Sarahkka]

I agree with Lightworker - it is about courtesy and respecting your fellow human being. I give up things like a seat to those whom I perceive need it more. Where it gets complicated is when we make assumptions based on appearance about this "need" and of course, "more" is always situational and relative. Someone could be pregnant and really fit and feeling great (me with first pregnancy). Some young guy could look fine but be feeling horrible and really needing to sit.
As for the grumpy childless folks - the next generation is where you get the professionals who will be taking care of you as you age. So stop being so freaking mean and bitter about these perceived "entitlements", but... that's another debate!
To address the "entitlement" of having the audacity to expect special (read "courteous" for most of us) treatment on public transit, etc, when it was your choice to become pregnant:
Most pregnant women could use a little break and support from nice gestures like giving up your seat, but some physically need it. Some of us get things like debilitating SPD - some so badly that they qualify as temporarily disabled. I guarantee that none of those women who chose to have a baby also chose to have unstable pelvic girdles, aching joints, compromised balance, etc, etc - it developed as a condition. As it is pretty hard to tell who may or may not be suffering from something like that (just as it is hard to tell if a senior is fit as a fiddle or suffering horribly from arthritis), error on the side of good manners, caution, and kindness, and offer your seat already!

 

[TennisGal]

Unfortunately, we now live in an 'every man for himself' and a 'not my problem' society. I have been on the tube, verrrry pregnant, seen young and middle aged men and women catch my eye, and then hastily bury themselves in their newspapers, to avoid giving me a seat. The best bit would be those who got on at the same stop as me, and would then get off two stops later. A whole five minutes.

I once collapsed on the tube (not pregnant, I have very low blood pressure and hadn't eaten for too long that day) and no one batted an eyelid other than one eldery woman. I was disgusted. Perhaps they assumed I was drunk - although I quite clearly wasn't.

I also once overheard a man saying to his companion that he wasn't going to give his seat to a pregnant woman as 'they want the same rights as us, so I'm not getting up'

It's a sad reflection of a particularly nasty streak in society. Thankfully, there are still plenty of decent people around to balance out the selfishness.

 

[JASMAK]

entitled..no, but I think that pregnant ladies DESERVE special treatment. In my workplace, pregnancy is treated like an illness in that we get sick leave for all absenses pregnancy-related. Also, there is spaces for parking close to shopping for mothers/families, but I have also seen a few 'expecting' spots, and I think that's great. Nothing worse than lugging groceries, a toddler, and being pregnant...walking through an over-crowded parking lot. I don't take a bus (simply because I live in the suburbs where there is no real bus service) but I would give my spot up for a pregnant lady..definitely...or anyone with a baby too.

 

[smokey]

The only thing I would say a pregnant woman has more of an entitlement (but only within reason) is use of a toilet.

Having spina bifida im often in alot of pain and can barely stand sometimes, a hell of alot more then pregnancy ever caused me (in fact it eased strangley during pregnancy) and I dont see myself as entitled to a seat if someone else was sitting there first

 

[JASMAK]

Smokey, I love your siggy pics...your little guy is super cute!!!

 

[Lightworker]

The only thing I would say a pregnant woman has more of an entitlement (but only within reason) is use of a toilet.

I think in England the law is (if it has not been repealed) a pregnant woman can even wee in a policeman's hat.

 

[smokey]

The only thing I would say a pregnant woman has more of an entitlement (but only within reason) is use of a toilet.

I think in England the law is (if it has not been repealed) a pregnant woman can even wee in a policeman's hat.

No thats just a myth
No place actualy has a obligation to let you use the toilet its just common courtesy and a threat to pee on the floor if they dont