"Aren't you having another one?"

[Dona]

I am sick of being told that it's a shame for Archie not to have a younger sibling after I've told them that 'no' I'm not having another child. I'm getting that ratty that I've resorted to telling them the following...

"how would you feeling that just because it's bad your child is going to be an only one, you decide to have another. This child come early as your at high risk of another early birth but this time instead of being blessed with a baby that's not got any issues, this one has got major things wrong with it. Don't you think this is selfish?"

That tends to sort them out but I shouldn't need to do this just people can be so harsh when you say your only having one.

 

[katy1310]

I can see me having the same issues...I don't know if I would ever dare risk getting pregnant again, because Sophie and I both nearly lost our lives. Apart from the risk of having another premature baby that may not be as lucky as Sophie in the way of problems, I don't think I could risk leaving DH without a wife and Sophie without a mummy. People don't always understand that it's not just a case of having your baby early and watching it grow in an incubator until you can take it home. We were lucky with Sophie but maybe wouldn't be so lucky a second time. I was one hour from organ failure and have been told that I'd have to see a consultant before even thinking about getting pregnant again so I could find out how safe it would be for me to get pregnant again.

Much as we would love another child, if we are told it's too risky then I feel it's much more important for Sophie to have her mummy than to have a brother or sister and I definitely don't think that's selfish! You're not being selfish either. xxx

 

[25weeker]

Aww hun you shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone as it's entirely your choice as it's your body/baby who are at risk. I am sure you want to tell these people where to go!

If someone asks you should say that's a very personal question and mind their own business or if you want to be a bit more polite say you don't feel comfortable talking about it. Hopefully they would have no come back for that!

Try not to let them get to you. Although I could be writing the same thread next year!

 

[Lottie86]

Grrrrr I used to get the 'when are you having the next one' all the time even when people knew that any baby of mine is at high risk of placental abruption, being prem or stillborn due to a medical condition I have.

Now we know about Findlay's chromosome abnormality and all the medical issues he has relating to it and the geneticist has told us that any pregnancy I have has a 1 in 2 chance of another baby with the abnormality and another child possibly being worse affected than F is by it most people think they can tell me that I shouldn't have another one!

I'm not quite sure why people think they have the right to tell us that we either should or shouldn't have another baby

 

[Dona]

Thanks Girls. People just don't know when to shut up. I knew you would all understand. Ive not been on for a while and it feels good to talk again xx

 

[Foogirl]

Why on earth do people think it is any of their business anyway??

There are pros and cons of having a single child v more than one. As you've said before, you know you can give Archie so much and if you had another one you wouldn't be able to do the same. He's going to have so many advantages and opportunities because he will be your focus. That in itself can outweigh any advantage of having a sibling. Who knows, he might have grown up to hate his brother or sister as that can happen too!

I want to have more, and we probably will. I'm not known to be at any great risk as my premature birth was random. I'm bloody sure if I had been through what you had been through I wouldn't be doing that again!! But that is absolutely my choice and I wouldn't expect to have to justify that to any one, any more than you should have to justify yourself either. Horses for courses.

Welcome back.....

 

[divadexie]

A few people have asked me that, am I going to have another.
A conversation at school this morning a friend was holding LO and said she was getting broody, and I said to my other friend 'dont you be getting broody' lol as she has 3 and isnt alowed anymore haha.. then I was asked if I was going to have more.

I am not a gambling person. It would be stupid to gamble with my life and the life of a baby, or the chance of leaving OH and my kids! We wanted to have another but there is no chance now! People sound so dissapointed and then annoyed when I say we are having another dog instead! At least with a puppy I dont have to worry before its born that I am going to have pre eclampsia and could die!

 

[AP]

im stunned that people thing its their right to say such things. I had the same questions when alex was still in neonatal?!?! Dona what you said was what i always thought, and deep down i panic that this one on its way is going to have even more issues than what we have.
i'll know the answer soon enough, but its just terrifying to think about and i dont blame you. xxx

 

[Laura2919]

I dont really get these questions cos I obviously had two but I DID want another baby but I DONT anymore! Lol. Since Chloe and Jaycee got to 18 months I have been rushed off my feet. They are into everything and get everywhere and its murder lol! Its so annoying when people try and get in your life..