Ask an unassisted homebirther

[stardust599]

Hey

I read your birth story and thought it was an amazing experience. I actually thought it was illegal though, I read a story recently where a couple were prosecuted after their baby became stuck during delivery and they didn't take medical help.

I'm not having a homebirth (I will next time) but having a natural birth in hospital instead so I hope you don't mind me asking questions for my own curiosity!! Please tell me to go away if you'd rather not as I don't want to be rude - I just love reading and learning.

Who did you have at the birth and did anyone have any medical training in case of an emergency? What would you have done if, for example, the babys shoulders were stuck, the cord prolapsed or the placenta would not come away? Did you have your own doppler or anything to monitor the baby during labour? Did you have any training on how to check the cord for loops etc. before the final pushes and did you have any equipment for resuscitating your baby or any training on this?

How did you know your baby wasn't breech? Did you ever consider having a midwife or doctor present but asking them not to intervene unless necessary?

Thanks xxx

EDIT - sorry i didn't mean that i thought your actual birth was illegal, i meant i thought to refuse medical assistance for a birth or pregnancy was illegal?

Don't worry, I don't take offense easy!! Which is one reason why I created this thread, so people could candidly ask questions.

There were five people in the house while I was giving birth: me, DH, DS1, my MIL and FIL (we live in the same house). However, only my DH was present in the room when I gave birth. My FIL has had a ton of medical training throughout his life. He is very well versed in CPR and emergency medicine.

I studied thoroughly on the what-ifs and was very confident that I could recognize an emergency should it arise. For example, if the shoulders were stuck, I would have gone to the hands and knees position. It helps open up the pelvis and rotate the baby. In the case of a prolapsed cord, more than likely I would have transported to a hospital, along with the case of a retained placenta. We have emergency services that can reach our house in less than five minutes.

We did our own prenatal care. I took my BP and weight on a weekly basis, as well as checking my urine at home. We monitored baby with a stethoscope, as we don't believe in using ultrasound technology on our baby. (personal choice, no offense meant to anyone who does!)

As for checking for loops, its unnecessary in most cases. In fact, our LO did have the cord around his neck but as he came out in one push, there was no time to check for it!!

I knew my LO wasn't breech by where I was picking up the heartbeat. (It was way down in the pelvis. However, I would not hesitate to deliver a breech baby at home, unassisted, so it really didn't matter to me.

I did consider having a mw present... for about one second. My previous birth experience put me totally off the one in my area, and I feel that even their presence causes a difference in the birth environment. The feeling of being watched has a profound effect on my body, and would have changed the birth experience completely.

Hope that answered your questions... keep them coming!

Thanks for answering, glad I didn't cause any offense!!

 

[winegums]

what would you have done in case of stillbirth? you could have been blamed you know

some people in the past have killed their babies after birth and classed it as a stillbirth and with no medical professionals as witnesses who would have known the difference?

not to be funny but i'm curious

also my son was breech and we could still hear the heartbeat low down with a stethoscope as could the midwives with their dopplers it didn't really make a difference

and for a breech if the body had come out and the head had not progressed what would you have done? the cord would have been compressed and it would be an emergency situation where you shouldn't physically touch the baby as it may stimulate breathing whilst its head is still inside you

what would you have done if the baby was born and didn't take any breaths?? as someone else pointed out neonatal resus is extremely different to child or adult resus and you would have to be specifically trained in it, and you would need to act within a matter of a couple of minutes

i'm guessing you didn't inject your baby with vitamin k? and i suspect your answer to this would be even under care of a midwife you would not have had your baby given vitamin k. what would you have done if your baby had hemorrhagic disease of the newborn? especially if it had turned out to be an undiagnosed breech?

what would you have done with a face presentation?

what would you have done with a footling breech?

what would you have done if the baby was transverse?


lol sorry for all the questions! very curious

When people decide to do a UC birth that usually means they have done an extensive amount of research and prepared themselves to adequately handle many emergencies or what are often construed as emergencies but actually aren't and are easily dealt with. Having a UC birth means taking the responsibility of birth into your own hands and not depending on someone else to tell you what to do while you sit a clueless bystander and hope they have your best interest in mind.

The OP may not take offense to this line of questioning but I think your questions are more accusing the necessary. Being at home and unassisted doesn't mean you can't transfer to a hospital but more that you are responsible for knowing the signs of when to transfer. The likeliness of something occurring at home that can't be dealt with and needs to be transferred is not likely but CAN happen and that is why you prepare yourself and educate yourself beforehand.

If you think a UC birth is dangerous, then don't do it!!! And I hope your dr's and MW's don't do anything unnecessary that causes your baby to have problems that wouldn't have occured if you took your birth into your own hands. You don't need to be rude, UC birth is not irresponsible and not anymore dangerous than an assisted homebirth if you prepare properly. If you want to do everything a dr tells you when 95% of that is for their convenience and has not a damn thing to do with you or your baby's health then go for it.

The OP offered to share about unassisted birth not to be quizzed and interrogated so you can form opinions on whether she should have had a UC birth or not. Your approval is not needed and remarks about how she would prove she didn't kill her baby if she had a stillborn is beyond rude.

i know what an unnasisted birth is hun lol

i'm actually really interested in it and thinking of doing it for my dissertation in my degree

she said she openly wanted any questions so i thought why not ask

not sure what i accused her of? and not sure where i was rude? well definately not as rude as you seem to be anyway!

you make a lot of assumptions in your post, you know the joke about assuming right? lets just say you should never assume

the question about stillborns is again just a question. a pretty true question as its a lot more common than people realise and some people end up going through a LOT of trauma proving they didn't kill their own baby and it's something i'd never wish upon anyone

 

[winegums]

what would you have done in case of stillbirth? you could have been blamed you know

some people in the past have killed their babies after birth and classed it as a stillbirth and with no medical professionals as witnesses who would have known the difference?

Without being too graphic and upsetting members, there are ways of detecting cause of death. A medical prefessional as a witness whilst helpful can also be irrelevent. The case would be thoroughly examined as a whole, history, parents, siblings, the pregnancy etc.

a surprising amount of the time, even with post mortems etc they cannot tell the cause of death of a neonate! that's why i was asking.

as for the case being examined, that's the problem! would you really want to go through that afterwards?

 

[ablacketer]

https://www.r6live.com/images/smilies/popcorn.gif

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Wow! First of all I am in awe! I can imagine your story is an inspiration to mothers planning homebirths.

I actually have more questions than I thought I did! (Purely curiosity, I've always been very on-the-fence about homebirths and didn't even realise women could give birth unassisted).

- Did you plan to go ahead with UC before you got pregnant? Like, was it a choice you made as soon as you'd been to hospital previously or did the memories just put you off?
- Were your family and friends, (other than your in-laws obv), supportive of the decision?
- Is this a common way of birthing where you live?
- How did you cope with the pain? Did you prepare in any way throughout the pregnancy?
- With regards to complications etc., what was the plan incase of the baby passing meconium in utero? (I only ask because I was told if it happened to get to hospital straight away, so when part of my water broke and was stained I called ahead because I was due to be induced later that night, but my hospital dismissed it and carried on as normal. Two days later when my baby was born we were both ill with sepsis and had to spend a further week in hospital. I was livid!)
- Lastly, your birth story is absolutely beautiful and very well-written, but a part of me is desperate to know, was there the usual screaming and cursing OH and crushing his fingers to let him in on the pain??

Thanks for sharing your story!

 

[erinkirsch]

I also had an amazing home Birth with just my husband and I, would do it again in a heart beat, congratulations!

 

[ablacketer]

what a pretty little baby girl Erin

 

[erinkirsch]

thanks

 

[silver_penny]

what would you have done in case of stillbirth? you could have been blamed you know

some people in the past have killed their babies after birth and classed it as a stillbirth and with no medical professionals as witnesses who would have known the difference?

not to be funny but i'm curious

also my son was breech and we could still hear the heartbeat low down with a stethoscope as could the midwives with their dopplers it didn't really make a difference

and for a breech if the body had come out and the head had not progressed what would you have done? the cord would have been compressed and it would be an emergency situation where you shouldn't physically touch the baby as it may stimulate breathing whilst its head is still inside you

what would you have done if the baby was born and didn't take any breaths?? as someone else pointed out neonatal resus is extremely different to child or adult resus and you would have to be specifically trained in it, and you would need to act within a matter of a couple of minutes

i'm guessing you didn't inject your baby with vitamin k? and i suspect your answer to this would be even under care of a midwife you would not have had your baby given vitamin k. what would you have done if your baby had hemorrhagic disease of the newborn? especially if it had turned out to be an undiagnosed breech?

what would you have done with a face presentation?

what would you have done with a footling breech?

what would you have done if the baby was transverse?


lol sorry for all the questions! very curious

First, on the stillbirth: I understand the concern. We did have my in-laws present who could vouch for the lividity or morbidity of the baby. While they weren't immediately present in the room, they were still at hand. I don't believe you have to have a medical professional present to vouch for a stillbirth. If they have a question as to the validity, they could do the post-mortem exam.

We were prepared to deliver a breech, and had done a lot of research on the matter. We knew to handle a breech in a hands-off approach and to breath through some pushing contractions to assure complete dilation (more than the hospital staff knew with my DS1). Same would apply to a footling breech. This would prevent the head from being stuck. We also had the room warmed, so as to not stimulate breathing prematurely in a breech.

As for the baby not breathing, our baby actually took a minute or two before he started breathing. However, there was no concern with this, as the cord was still intact and delivering oxygen to the baby. I was practiced in neonatal resus as well as my FIL.

In your assumption with the vitamin K shot, you are correct. We didn't have it with our first, and we didn't have it with this one either. This is one point where a full placental transfusion makes a huge difference as well. With a full transfusion, there are more clotting factors present in the blood, helping prevent hemmorhage. Most cases of "hemorraghic disease of the newborn" is actually caused by the medical profession.

In regards to transverse lie, we would transfer to the hospital.

HTH

 

[snagglepat]

I just wanted to say thanks for both posting your story and being open to candid questions. Your story is beautiful and inspirational. I was lucky and had a fantastic homebirth with a midwife I knew and trusted last time. This time is a different story - by the time I go into labour I'll have met less than half the midwives on my team so will likely be attended by a stranger. That just doesn't sit right for me. I'm not sure that UC does either, but I've read a lot about it in the past and you've inspired me to look into it again.

Thank you.

Gina.

 

[Pixxie]

Wow I think you are so brave for doing this and for opening up to questions! I would love to do this but would be too scared of something going wrong.

You say that you didn't see a midwife though your pregnancy, does that mean you didn't have any blood tests? Did you already know your blood type? I only ask because I didnt know mine until I was pregnant and have had to have the anti-d shots so just curious about how you made sure everything was ok with that? And would you have had the shot if you needed it? xx

 

[KandyKinz]

what would you have done in case of stillbirth? you could have been blamed you know

First, on the stillbirth: I understand the concern. We did have my in-laws present who could vouch for the lividity or morbidity of the baby. While they weren't immediately present in the room, they were still at hand. I don't believe you have to have a medical professional present to vouch for a stillbirth. If they have a question as to the validity, they could do the post-mortem exam.

I think what winegums was implying was in terms of a mortality, regardless of whether the death occured prenatally (stillbirth) or following delivery, you and those present who were aware of what you were doing would have been liable for the death and in many countries that is a criminal offense and punishable by law even if you did not do anything directly to cause the harm. For instance here in Canada neglect to obtain assistance during childbirth can result in a jail sentence of 5 years.

This is one of the main reasons why many women who consider unassisted birth fail to go through with it. So I guess the key question is what was your opinion on that risk? Did the thought of being held responsible and potentially facing jail time if something went wrong ever cross your mind? Were your family aware that in court they would have been viewed as accesssories to a crime and they too would have been held accountable?

Again, I'm not trying to be rude or anything just wanting to hear your point of view.

 

[silver_penny]

Wow! First of all I am in awe! I can imagine your story is an inspiration to mothers planning homebirths.

I actually have more questions than I thought I did! (Purely curiosity, I've always been very on-the-fence about homebirths and didn't even realise women could give birth unassisted).

- Did you plan to go ahead with UC before you got pregnant? Like, was it a choice you made as soon as you'd been to hospital previously or did the memories just put you off?
- Were your family and friends, (other than your in-laws obv), supportive of the decision?
- Is this a common way of birthing where you live?
- How did you cope with the pain? Did you prepare in any way throughout the pregnancy?
- With regards to complications etc., what was the plan incase of the baby passing meconium in utero? (I only ask because I was told if it happened to get to hospital straight away, so when part of my water broke and was stained I called ahead because I was due to be induced later that night, but my hospital dismissed it and carried on as normal. Two days later when my baby was born we were both ill with sepsis and had to spend a further week in hospital. I was livid!)
- Lastly, your birth story is absolutely beautiful and very well-written, but a part of me is desperate to know, was there the usual screaming and cursing OH and crushing his fingers to let him in on the pain??

Thanks for sharing your story!

Sorry about taking so long to get to your questions (having a newborn and a 15month old doesn't leave much time for mom!)

My DH and I discussed doing an unassisted birth almost immediately after the birth of our first. The way the whole experience went and how we were treated just didn't sit right with either one of us. The more we thought about our previous hospital experience, the more we became upset with it. So kinda both. There was a little hesitation, but nothing that turned us off to the idea of an unassisted birth.

We did not tell anyone else besides my inlaws that we were planning it to be unassisted. We just felt there was no need to open up our choice for criticism and negativity.

I don't think its common anywhere to give birth unassisted, though I believe the movement is growing. Its not for everyone, and I understand the hesitation and the fear behind it.

I never took any birthing classes with my first, nor did I take any this time around. I did, however, read a great book called "childbirth without fear" which helped mentally prepare me.

In regards to meconium staining, it would have depended upon the degree and color of the staining. If it was just light yellow staining, we more than likely would have proceeded as planned. However, we would not hesitate to go to the hospital if we feared there was any threat to the baby or me.

During the birth, I did a little (maybe five to six minutes) of moaning to focus through the pain. There was only one "scream" and that was during the second push, which was when both head and body of baby was born at once. I didn't curse my DH or anything (I didn't with my first either). He counts himself lucky in this, as he always thought that women blamed the men during labor. I guess I'm one of the rare few.There was no squishing of the hand/fingers either during this birth either, though there was during the first (on the ride to the hospital because I had to hold back on the contractions, which caused even more pain). There was a time or two that I was a little curt with DH when I was asking him for stuff, but I would immediately apologize to him for it!

 

[silver_penny]

Wow I think you are so brave for doing this and for opening up to questions! I would love to do this but would be too scared of something going wrong.

You say that you didn't see a midwife though your pregnancy, does that mean you didn't have any blood tests? Did you already know your blood type? I only ask because I didnt know mine until I was pregnant and have had to have the anti-d shots so just curious about how you made sure everything was ok with that? And would you have had the shot if you needed it? xx

I didn't have any blood tests, but already knew my blood type. I used to donate blood, and knew my blood type from that. I'm positive, so don't need the anti-d shots.

 

[lousielou]

What a fantastic thread. Thank you silver_penny for being so candid about it all - it's really inspiring, and incredibly interesting You obviously did a huge amount of research before you went ahead, and I'm so happy for you that you had the peaceful, personal, non-medicalised birth you planned. A huge congratulations to you xx

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Thank you so much! Your story is incredible

 

[silver_penny]

what would you have done in case of stillbirth? you could have been blamed you know

First, on the stillbirth: I understand the concern. We did have my in-laws present who could vouch for the lividity or morbidity of the baby. While they weren't immediately present in the room, they were still at hand. I don't believe you have to have a medical professional present to vouch for a stillbirth. If they have a question as to the validity, they could do the post-mortem exam.

I think what winegums was implying was in terms of a mortality, regardless of whether the death occured prenatally (stillbirth) or following delivery, you and those present who were aware of what you were doing would have been liable for the death and in many countries that is a criminal offense and punishable by law even if you did not do anything directly to cause the harm. For instance here in Canada neglect to obtain assistance during childbirth can result in a jail sentence of 5 years.

This is one of the main reasons why many women who consider unassisted birth fail to go through with it. So I guess the key question is what was your opinion on that risk? Did the thought of being held responsible and potentially facing jail time if something went wrong ever cross your mind? Were your family aware that in court they would have been viewed as accesssories to a crime and they too would have been held accountable?

Again, I'm not trying to be rude or anything just wanting to hear your point of view.

It was something that we considered and discussed (it was our one point of hesitation). However, it would be up to the courts to prove negligence on our part. In our state it is not illegal to have an unassisted birth. And who is to say that we didn't try to get to the hospital and just had a precipitous birth?

 

[emmi26]

my turn to ask !!
i delivered my daughter myself as no-one arrived in time so im in total awe of you and actually know a lot of it is common sense !!
anyway i just wondered if at any point nin pregnancy there was something that worried you or made you seriously consider asking for help? was there a time when babys movements were quieter or anything you were unsure of ?? im a total worrier about everything you see !!
im going to read yr birth story now think yr amazing and yr dh is also x

 

[silver_penny]

my turn to ask !!
i delivered my daughter myself as no-one arrived in time so im in total awe of you and actually know a lot of it is common sense !!
anyway i just wondered if at any point nin pregnancy there was something that worried you or made you seriously consider asking for help? was there a time when babys movements were quieter or anything you were unsure of ?? im a total worrier about everything you see !!
im going to read yr birth story now think yr amazing and yr dh is also x

Not really... I'm not too much of a worrier,and my pregnancy was pretty much textbook!

 

[hopeandpray]

Wow, I admirey our decision in some respects, but I could never do that. I was born by c-section due to the cord being wrapped around my neck several times because of my personal intrest in that case and being a medical student I've done a little research on it. Babies die during labour because of this, of course not always but sometimes when the cord is wrapped many times. Were you not worried something like this could have happened and you wouldn't have been able to have an emergency c-section due to not knowing what was going on with the baby's heartbeat?