Asperger's visitaion problems

[Adanma]

My son has visitation with his biological father every other weekend and also a week in summer and a week in winter. My problem is that when he returns he is sooooo bad with his stimming and not listening to us and hyperactivity. Does anyone have any experience with this? How can I make these transitions easier on him so that this stuff isn't such a problem?

Adanma

 

[natalies1982]

hi ya

is ur son very into his routines? if so i would imagine that would be a big part of it.

maybe because he goes there hes unsure what is happening as i take it things arent planned and hes not been given warning. when he gets home hes so stressed from it all he releases it all on you

of course i may be wrong and he may not have a prob with change in routines but maybe ur son needs to be prepared for the trip to his dads

 

[Adanma]

He does have problems with breaking routines. We start on monday saying on friday he will he going to his other dad's and keep reminding him. He seems so go okay though, just reluctantly. I know for a fact that his father offers no routine or structure which I think is why it's a rough few days when he comes home. He's happy to get home, but his behaviour is something else! I have talked to his dad about his diagnosis and I have given him the papers the clinic gave to us explaining it and the techniques we use with him, but he doesn't think there is anything wrong with Ian so I'm sure he acts accordingly.

I know I can't change what his dad does, but it's to the point where it is going to go back to the courts. I would like him to have supervised visits if he can't accomodate his son's issues. I don't know. I'm just frustrated and was hoping that maybe there is something more I can do either when he leaves or when he comes home....

Adanma

 

[lozzy21]

What dose his dad feed him? If he normaly eats well with you but dad is feeding him junk it could be having an effect on his behaviour

 

[Xaviersmom]

My DS has PDD-NOS with ADHD. He's 12 and his father thinks there's nothing wrong with him. I have to arrange with the school for him to get his ADHD meds on "dad days" because his dad likes to "forget".

I have to do a week on and a week off... it takes me 3 days to get him in his routine after getting him back from dad's. I write everything down.. log it into my outlook callender. Building my case.

Because you have tried to help dad understand DS's diagnosis, you might have a chance in court. Mebbe supervised visits would be less traumatic for him. Having a shrink to back you goes a long way as well.