Attachment Parenting Group

[codegirl]

I didn't know my parenting style had a name until I was talking to a gf and she kept referring to AP. I finally went and looked it up and said... "sounds like me!"

I'm having a sad day today, thinking about going back to work in January and all the changes that means for little Edward.

 

[nkbapbt]

CIO - cry it out

ooh no dont like hearing him cry!! i bet my grandmother is up there wagging her finger at me because he cries and i pick him up

I thought FOR SURE my mom would be the same way...she's old school and old fashion...but she isn't. She hates hearing Lakai cry and is even ok with my cosleeping. She's so badly AP now, I think she will kill me if I go back to work (which Im not anyways).

CIO was my inspiration for this thread actually. I couldn't find a comfy spot to be AP without CIO coming up and feeling uncomfortable when it did.

 

[purple_socks]

:wave:Hi

I didn't realise i did AP. I've never really bothered with any set parenting 'method' i've just done what comes naturally and am happy to change my techniques as Kian changes...as that turns out what i do atm is very much like AP!

I used to follow a set feeding routine when he was first born because i really needed that back then...i felt completely lost and had no idea what Kian wanted until he was screaming 4 it. and it worked well with Kians natural feeding routine...he seemed to want to eat every 4 hours so it fitted in with the books advise (i wouldn't have with held food if he'd have wanted it more often so the book would have gone out the window) However, as i started to learn Kians little cues i dropped the routine. Our days r flexible and he eats and sleeps when he wants. i don't take him to b weight anymore and i've stopped bothering with worrying over how much he eats. I trust him to know what he wants and when. I don't believe in baby conditioning/training or forcing him into any set routines. All the books i used to read actually just make me angry now! the only thing i do is have a pattern at bedtime (which varies between 7-9 depending on if he's tired or not) i keep lights low and we have 'calm time' with his musical toy on. the lights stay low until morning when i turn the radio and make the place bright and loud so that Kian can recognise theres a difference between night and day.
i don't really consider myself to have done co-sleeping. I had a drop down crib but never actually slept with Kian in my bed (OH and i take up enought room as it is!) but Kian used to sleep on me during the days until he got bigger and stopped liking it. Kian has now outgrown his crib tho and has moved into his own room. i was never in a rush for that...he actually seems to sleep better in there but i would have happily had him back in my room in a travel cot if he hadn't. i don't understand the race to 'sleep thro' or read these milestones. I think as long as u listen to ur LOs needs it'll happen when the times right.
I don't BF (altho thats not by choice...sore subject so i wont go into that) but if i did i would let LO self wean and not stop at a certain age just because of social pressures . I intend to do BLW and really don't feel any need to rush Kian into progressing until he's ready. I cuddle him lots, carry him and interactive with him as much as pos when he's awake. We do baby massage every day. I like spending time with Kian...one day he'll b grown up and wont want me to so i'm making the most of it.
We don't do telly during the day (infact i haven't switched it on for at least a week...but will b 2night to watch the whole BNPs on question time thing!) because i he doesn't get anything out of that (maybe when he's older we will but atm i like to keep him stimulated). he's with me all day...he naps in the room i'm in etc. I don't mind him going to nannies or being with daddy but i do want him to grow up knowing i'm here for him and will b there when he gets back from wherever he's been.
As my mum is 4ever telling me...i make a rod for my back because i don't leave my child to cry! i listen to him when he communicates with me.
I don't believe u can spoil a baby

...so whats ur thoughts...am i in the gang? lol

 

[asacia]

I'd done a bit of research into the continuum concept and liked parts of it, and read a few other theories, especially about the length of pregnancy being too short, and how babies really should stay inside another few months. I always thought I would comfort my LO as much as he wanted, but didn't know anything about co-sleeping or babywearing. I started reading up after I had him, because I felt the desire to co-sleep. That is how I found out about AP'ing and I was amazed that it all just fitted in with how I felt.

Oh and Nkbapbt, I'm honoured to hear praise for dedication from you. I know how hard pumping is, and to have do it for the length of time you have is absolutely amazing!

Co-sleeping - my plans are to continue until LO makes the transition to his own bed freely and easily. I think I'll probably continue to co-sleep till 2-3 years old, as I want to be freely available for night feeds if he wants them. He has a side-carred cot (which he doesn't use at the moment due to teething) so he has his own space, and if he stops seeming to need night feeds and comforting, I'll think about getting him his own bed. He doesn't have a room, or a bed, at the moment, I love having him with me.

 

[codegirl]

purple socks - sounds like you fit right in! Welcome!!


I read a couple parenting books and one of them made me crazy mad, and this was BEFORE Edward was born. It was then I knew that what I thought was good for my baby wouldn't be concidered very mainstream. It works for us though.

 

[nkbapbt]

I didn't know my parenting style had a name until I was talking to a gf and she kept referring to AP. I finally went and looked it up and said... "sounds like me!"

I'm having a sad day today, thinking about going back to work in January and all the changes that means for little Edward.

Awe hon...you know the admiration and respect I have for those of you who have to go back to work. I know it must be so incredibly hard, on both you and Edward.

But in the silver lining there is positives for both of you...he will get new social skills with other babies and kids, which is so valuable for his social development!

And you will get to build your social development too but interacting with adults..hehe. Which helps you and your marriage because it give you more than poopy diapers to talk about..if your anything like me!

I know it's tough, but its still a few months away so enjoy the time you have now. And try to think of the positives...

My sister use to tell her son that they were BOTH going to work, so by the time he knew what was going on...he was going to work too, so cute!!!

 

[purple_socks]

wow that was a loooooong post! sorry abt that

 

[Pink_Witch]

As my mum is 4ever telling me...i make a rod for my back because i don't leave my child to cry! i listen to him when he communicates with me.
I don't believe u can spoil a baby

...so whats ur thoughts...am i in the gang? lol

me too!!! If ern cries i pick him up and he usually stops-ill check his nappy and change if it needs it, we can tell if hes hungry-we are also teaching him baby sign for milk! at the moment to, but usually he just wants to be held and be talked to. He is happy to sit on you for ages and hold your finger-i think he likes to be close, and if that means he grows up happy knowing that we are always there then so be it! I agree i dont think you can spoil a baby!!

 

[asacia]

My LO seems to love learning new things, and my Mum explained it in a nice way - he doesn't spend any time worrying about where I am, so he spends all his time learning/exploring.

 

[nkbapbt]

^thats a super way to look at it!

And thanks...pumping does suck (literally) but its worth it. My LO has enough troubles with being so premature that he deserves every drop!

Purple socks...you're in for sure!! I agree you cannot "spoil" a baby. I always figured they were meant to be spoiled anyways...aren't they?

 

[mommyof3co]

Hi Nickie, welcome. Pagan mom too, very cool! I am not Pagan, but I have studied it for years.

I love how many of us fell into AP by accident.

Did anyone research it and make an informed choice to be an AP parent before your LO was born?

I did before Hayden. We had somewhat done it with Casen...like cosleeping, breastfeeding, no CIO. But I did tons of research on it between him and Hayden and we made the choice to do everything we do with Hayden

 

[nkbapbt]

I did research a little before Lakai now that I think of it, because I saw it on my friends Facebook interests of all places. And was curious what it was, but it wasn't until he arrived that it really came into play.

I have to wonder how many preemie mom's do it, because its almost something you learn in the NICU...you kangaroo care (wearing your baby), they push you to pump and breastfeed over FF, they urge you to pick up or comfort your baby whenever they cry....

Hmm I never thought of it that way before!

 

[kirsten1985]

I didn't research it, like a lot of you it just came naturally then I figured out what I was doing had a name.

I am looking forward to doing even more of it when we have another baby in a few years.

 

[purple_socks]

I didn't research it, like a lot of you it just came naturally then I figured out what I was doing had a name.

I am looking forward to doing even more of it when we have another baby in a few years.

me to

 

[nkbapbt]

I didn't research it, like a lot of you it just came naturally then I figured out what I was doing had a name.

I am looking forward to doing even more of it when we have another baby in a few years.

Me too! Hopefully sometime next year...well to get pregnant at least!

What about everyone else? Any more babies in your futures?

 

[kirsten1985]

We will be TTC in 2011, but if it was up to me it would be so much sooner!

 

[Tezzy]

nope no more babies for me!

 

[asacia]

We are NTNP, but that isn't likely to have any results, because LO likes being held all the time. Will probably TTC when LO self-weans from breastfeeding. I'd love another baby now but breastfeeding is too important, and I want to be able to devote enough time and attention to LO and new baby. But I so want to be pregnant again, it was the happiest time of my life, despite the problems.

 

[mommyof3co]

Eh I really would like one more, but then at the same time I don't haha. I don't think we will for awhile...we think maybe when Hayden is 3-5

 

[Pink_Witch]

no more for me either! I think 6 is enough!! plus another few years and ill probably start having grandkids!!