~*~*~August 2012 Baby Fire Fly's~*~*~

[lyricsop03]

Congrats to all the new members!!!

Advice please: But, do you think it's bad of me to tell my boyfriend and his parents that I no longer want to live at their house? We had planned on it, but I didn't know they had a really bad mice problem. As in, mice pop in and out, run all over the house, poop on everything (including beds). My boyfriend, who has lived like this his whole life, sees no problem with it. His mom is offended that I would rather live with my (they do have their issues) parents.

We can't afford an apartment (he needs a full time job) and I can't live with my grandma, where I'm living now. I'm just so helpless because I don't know where I'll be.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[katrinalorien]

Mice are a problem for sure! I would get out. We had to move out of our last place, I couldn't handle the mice. With a LO that will be crawling on the floor and putting things in his/her mouth you really don't want your LO putting something with mouse poop in the mouth. I would talk to your boyfriend first, tell him how you feel and ask him how to approach his parents. Maybe he knows some way that you can break it to them softly.

 

[lyricsop03]

I talked to my boyfriend about it a month ago. He was upset and told his mom already. She was offended, but doesn't have the money to get an exterminator. His dad does, but he refuses to pay for it. So, if they won't get it resolved, I don't know how to tactfully tell them, "Sorry I'm being a bitch but I can't live here."

Bottom line: If not for his parents, we have no where to live together as a couple. I'm reluctant to cause any negative feelings. But I also don't want my baby in a bad situation, either.

 

[mummylanning]

In laws are a huge issue regardless of the situation. I dont know about you but I can speak fairly openly to my parents and set rules and boundaries, my husband cannot with his and I cant speak to them without offending them. I wish i could offer advise but I can only say I know how you feel.

 

[babyquiros812]

I talked to my boyfriend about it a month ago. He was upset and told his mom already. She was offended, but doesn't have the money to get an exterminator. His dad does, but he refuses to pay for it. So, if they won't get it resolved, I don't know how to tactfully tell them, "Sorry I'm being a bitch but I can't live here."

Bottom line: If not for his parents, we have no where to live together as a couple. I'm reluctant to cause any negative feelings. But I also don't want my baby in a bad situation, either.

Morning sweetie, it sounds like your in a sticky situation and unfortunately it involves your unborn child. In my eyes, your child is more important than anything that is going on outside of the womb. I understand that you want to be close with your babies father but babies father needs to wake up and smell the coffee! The way that he was raised is no way for anyone to have to live. It is actually considered "neglect" and is punishable. Your baby daddy should want nothing but the best for his child. If he demands anything less or even worse, doesnt demand anything, you may want to reconsider his future parenting efforts. Regardless of what anyone thinks (his family or him) you need to take care of that baby. You are the mama and you have the say. Too bad if they dont like it. I wonder if they even try to set traps and leave out poison? If so, can you imagine baby crawling around and get his hand caught in a trap or worse yet, swallow the poop of a rat that has eaten some of the poison. No ma'am, his parents feelings are not worth putting your child through that. Maybe once you move some place safe, your OH will see the light and realize that you are just doing whats best for his child. That is what makes a good mother after all! I know it may be difficult to stand your ground when you feel so helpless and vulnerable but just imagine feeling 100 times worse if something happend to that baby. Sometimes we have to put our own feelings to the side in order to do whats right for our kids. I wish you luck hun!

 

[lyricsop03]

Thank you to everyone. My boyfriend has lived in the basement of his parent's house pretty much since he was 10, so he's very used to mice, unfortunately. He sets traps every several months and catches some but they all come back because the house has holes. So the only way to really fix it would be to fix all the holes. And his dad refuses to pay for that.

He knows I don't want to live there but I have no idea how to really put my foot down and say, "If it isn't completely fixed or we don't get an apartment, I"m moving in to my parent's house alone waiting for you to find a safe place for us as a family." I really don't like ultimatums.

But I'm glad you all do agree with me. Living with mice is no way to raise a baby. Thank you!

 

[katrinalorien]

I hate mice. When my mother discovered that we were living with mice in our rental house, she got mad at me for living with them while pregnant! She is convinced it made my pregnancy symptoms worse (morning sickness, ect.) and admittedly those mice smelled awful. Even when we moved out early, took out ALL the food (literally, we were moved out) but the rental was still "ours" there was still fresh mouse poop everytime we went over to check on it. I don't think we could have found all the holes in that house, because a mouse can fit through an opening the size of their head. I just cannot imagine raising my kid in that household.. especially as a poor infant. I wouldn't be able to cope with the idea that there were mice in the same room as my infant.

Sorry mice just really freak me out.

 

[UkCath]

Do you know anyone with a cat that likes to hunt? I noticed a couple of mice around my house a few years ago. I caught a couple and borrowed my mums cat for about 3 weeks. Mice gone.. I don't think I had a problem on the scale you have here though. They breed so fast though it can quickly get out of control.

Is it just the mice that are the problem, is the basement okay otherwise? ie dry and light?

Is there no government body to help with pest control? In the UK you can ask the council but I see you are in the states.

 

[MyEmma]

Uhg. I understand completely where you are coming from. Sounds extremely unsanitary and mice carry many diseases. Good idea with PP about getting a cat. But other than the mice, is the place dirty or anything? I personally would probably stay home as well, but trying not to offend inlaws can be very difficult.

Well... I'm starting to feel horrible. Anyone else? :/

I'm feeling extremely drained. Had the worste heart burn last night, which turned me extremely nauseaus and throwing up all night long. I hadn't thrown up since 9 weeks gestation. My bump hurts, like stabbing pains or braxton hicks. What maks it difficult is my toddler has to be on me 24/7 because she's really needy. Trying to hold her with a massive achy bump is no fun for me. And I've been one big cranky bum lately. :/
Especially since I'm not used to being a stay at home mom. It's so much more stressfull than I could imagine.

I haven't a clue how I'm going to manage a needy toddler and a newborn.

 

[katrinalorien]

Right there with you. Except I don't have to worry about a toddler! I can't even imagine...

 

[UkCath]

Im wondering the same thing.. Its going to be hard having two under two. Holly isn't a great walker yet and i find it hard if i have to lift or carry her.

The heartburn doesn't seem to have kicked in as badly as it did for my first pregnancy.. The tiredness is though!

 

[gardenofedens]

DH and I had initially wanted to start TTC again when Abigail is 6 months old, but after doing some research on breastfeeding, I found that my milk will dry up as soon as I get pregnant again. I really want the best for Abigail and to nurse her exclusively for six months and then supplemented with food until 12 months minimum. For those of you who have a little one already, were they still nursing when you got pregnant and did your milk dry up soon thereafter?

 

[MyEmma]

I've heard of many women breastfeeding both toddler and new born... so I deffinately don't think it will dry up as long as it's being used. I've been lactating since I got my BFP without breastfeeding another baby. So I think you should be ok.

Good luck if you try to TTC as soon as little one is 6 months. Newborn stage is very difficult, and being preggo with a newborn, I couldn't imagine but I have a friend who got a BFP a month after her first baby was born. ah!

 

[katrinalorien]

Hmm I think there is a thread for TTC while breastfeeding, maybe you can check it out to see what it does to their milk supply. I would also like to have mine very quickly in a row.

 

[lyricsop03]

Thanks all for the advice. I haven't made up my mind yet but my boyfriend knows how I"m feeling and agrees with me. He's setting up mouse traps (which breaks my heart, I hate killing things) and they're working but we need to close up the holes first to change my mind and move in there. For now, I'm banking on my parent's even though I feel that will be awful. So, up in the air but at least he knows how I feel about it...

Anybody have any tips for dealing with sciatic nerve pain? I"m getting it really bad now and can hardly walk. I've never had trouble walking ever and it's kind of embarrassing.

Hope everyone is doing ok!

 

[katrinalorien]

Sorry I don't have any advice for the pain, but I'm glad that your OH understands. Its got to be much easier with him trying to fix the problem.

 

[HappilyaMrs]

I had sciatic pain really bad the other night and all I could do was lay on my side. I think maybe lo was sitting on a nerve because I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and the pain was gone.

Dh and I are moving this weekend and are in full on stress mode. And of course today was a super nice beautiful day and the house is soooo hot. All I want to do is take a cold shower but Dh is so stressed that I keep working hoping that if we get enough done he will calm down. We move Saturday and I will be home till then but he still thinks it won't get done even though I can tell were almost there. Ugh. Sorry to rant just sucks....

 

[polaris]

DH and I had initially wanted to start TTC again when Abigail is 6 months old, but after doing some research on breastfeeding, I found that my milk will dry up as soon as I get pregnant again. I really want the best for Abigail and to nurse her exclusively for six months and then supplemented with food until 12 months minimum. For those of you who have a little one already, were they still nursing when you got pregnant and did your milk dry up soon thereafter?

There are plenty of women who nurse the whole way through pregnancy and then tandem nurse both baby and toddler, so it's definitely not true that your milk will dry up when you become pregnant. This can happen sometimes when the older child is a lot older and feeding much less frequently (maybe once a day) but it won't happen with a six month old who is still feeding very frequently. The milk does change during pregnancy and some older babies don't like this much and will choose to wean during pregnancy but I doubt that this would happen with a baby under a year old.

However, be warned that your cycle may not return after six months if you are breastfeeding. I didn't get AF back until Thomas was about 15 months and even after that it took another few months before my cycle really went back to normal. Breastfeeding isn't a reliable form of contraception as some women do get their cycle back very quickly - but for me it definitely was, there was no way that I was getting pregnant as I wasn't ovulating and even after AF came back my LP was very short for the first few months.

 

[spiceeb]

i didnt bf my daughter and periods started a few weeks after i had her, however with my sons i bf them for 5 months and then 7 months and with both of them my 1st period came pretty much 28 days after i stopped bfing x

 

[katrinalorien]

I think we are all passed the 30 week mark!! That's so exciting. We are so close to July...