Baby shower dilemma

[Chezzer]

So I want a baby shower and I don't think my mates will plan one we arnt all connected and don't all know each other so I want to plan one.

Thing is I don't want my mum there she can be quite snobby and stuck up and prob embarrassing, plus I don't know her knowing my bed room habits, or anything else a mother doesn't need to know I also don't want her bringing her mate too. So how do i get out or inviting her with out upsetting her although I've got a huge list of things she's done to upset me in the past 28wks. And when do u norm have a baby shower?

 

[BB1982]

I can’t say I’ve ever been to a baby shower where bedroom habits have been discussed, more of a drunken hen night thing in my opinion.
A baby shower should be more about the baby, games around bump size, nappy contents and guessing names/weight etc.
I’m lucky, I have a good relationship with my mum and mother in law. I see having a child as a thing to bring a family closer not to use to exclude people.
I understand your situation is different to mine, clearly things have gone on and you don’t feel you want her involved.
Could you maybe have a friends one, then maybe a family one with mum, partners mum, sisters etc? Might stop people’s feelings being hurt and you get the shower you want.

 

[Bella1185]

Yes ^^ what she said. I wouldn’t plan your own or host it under any circumstances really, let alone these. Sounds like too much stress......

Why don’t you just plan a small party/celebration - instead of a shower - with just your close friends? (who cares if they’re all friends or not it’s to celebrate your baby, they’ll come together for that) That would be fun and intimate and then you wouldn’t feel the need to invite family

 

[DobbyForever]

I am all for planning your own. I love what few close friends I have, but their emotional maturity is still stuck on high school and their finances not stable. I knew I wanted to go all out for my shower, and that’s just not something they do. I also plan all the showers at my job, so it’s rught up my alley. I planned everything and my mom was gracious enough to pay did the food and cake and let me use her house. I paid for the decorations and planned the games.

It was so incredibly stressful! But I wouldn’t change anything except inviting my abusive ex and his passive aggressive mother.

I got chewed out on BNB for being upset with guests asking to bring kids, but ultimately I did let kids come and it was great.

A baby shower can take whatever time people want. But traditionally it is a refined event. I agree that the more raunchy bedroom stuff is more a hen/bachelorette party kind of thing. This is about celebrating your baby.

I honestly don’t even know why we were stressed. I think because we had report cards due and we did a bad job planning food lol. But honestly nothing a trip to Costco didn’t fix. We just did finger foods and sodas/mimosas and cake. We played classic games like guess the price, guess belly size, guess the baby food flavor. I set up a craft table for the kids/artsy guests to decorate blocks or onesies. And I just got themed decor for party city. Cheap but festive.

As for not inviting mom, maybe talk to her about it first? This is setting up your tone for your motherhood. If she can’t get it together now, will she get it together to be a grandparent? I’m very it’s about me not you, but I’d talk to her first to either get her on the same page to attend or understand why she isn’t and offer having dinner just the two if you go celebrate.

And totally have multiple get together. My students threw me a surprise baby shower in my classroom at lunch lol, my coworkers threw me a baby shower in the staff room, and I had mine for friends and family. They don’t all have to be over the top or a huge party. Most people I know have 2-3 showers to include different people. Oh and I here I think you have them at like 36ish weeks. I had mine early because most of my family and friends are teachers soeven though I was due in July, I had it mid May. Aiming for avoiding the birthdays and before people left on holiday.