Baby shower etiquette.

[wavescrash]

Curious as to your thoughts on baby shower etiquette.

I know we all likely believe something different and etiquette may vary from country to country. That being said, I'm still curious as to what you all think. The way I always understood it is that you can have multiple baby showers (well, a baby shower for each pregnancy) so long as there's at least a 5 year gap between pregnancies or you're having a different gender than you previously had.

Do you believe anything different?

I just had my daughter last year so let's just say I find out this baby is a boy. Could I (so long as someone was throwing it for me) have another baby shower for this pregnancy? Or does that seem tacky?

 

[Penelope04]

I think as long as someone is willing to have a shower for you, that shows that there may be others interested in coming to another one as well! I am having a shower on Friday for one of my friends for her and all of our coworkers, this is her second baby, and her other child is 3 years old and they are both boys! If you're concerned about it, you could always just have a party to celebrate, like a gender reveal party, that doesn't involve gifts. But if it turns out to be a different sex, you might want to get some gifts!

 

[xSweetTartx]

In my opinion, I don't see anything wrong with having another shower. I don't think it even really matters how long ago your last one was.

Normally, close family and friends are more than happy to at least get together to celebrate. When it comes to gifts, you're not poking a knife in their back. If someone wants to get you a present, they will. It's as simple as that.

It may just be where I live, but we have baby showers all the time in my family and no one is ever stingy on gifts or attendance.

 

[OurLilFlu]

Here baby showers are the norm no matter the age gap or gender. I just went to my friends who is expecting another girl and her dd is 2... The party was bigger than the first time around! ( mostly since much of her fam moved here from the other side of the country recently) and I did not feel bad about buying another girl gift or anything, I got her dd a book to celebrate also!

 

[HBGirl]

I give small gifts at baby showers anyway so I am happy to attend and give gifts no matter which child its for.

 

[overcomer79]

I had one with my ds, dd and I have a friend wanting to throw me one this time. It's fine with me. I would have done no good for me to keep their newborn things (I gave them to friends who needed them) because this baby is coming in cooler weather so will need warmer clothes than a july or early sept baby.

 

[capegirl7]

Where I am you only have one. And occasionally people will throw a second but not with close age gaps

 

[jenniferttc1]

I believe every baby should be celebrated, but with that said I think the first baby is the traditional shower with registrey and after that is small baby sprinkles. No regristry, just things like diapers and wipes or clothes if they want and just plain celebrate about the baby. I find huge showers so close in each other a bit tacky tbh. I made sure to buy all gender neutral items and place gender neutral items on the registry cause of this. I often hear my friends complain they have tons of pink things...but I think it's just smart to stick with gender neutral on big ticket items to save having to buy it over.

 

[AC1987]

I always understood that you only have one for your first, because chances are you already have everything for your 2nd. Though I know of people who have 2nd ones even though they still already have everything so unsure what exactly they'd be getting

 

[FarmersWife5]

I think it is fine to have one for every baby, no matter age or gender. But that is just me

 

[monica2628]

So heres a question....What about blended families? I have an 8 year old, and my current husband and I are expecting. My 2nd, his 1st. Once we announce, his family will be beyond excited, and I cant imagine not registering. Since its been 8 years since i had my DD Im sure my family will have no issues with getting us gifts off of our registry, esp since none of my family lives within 6 hours of us.

 

[naria]

We never even had a baby shower for our first lol. I dunno maybe i was too busy working. Maybe i should have one this time round on the basis that we missed our one lol

 

[Electricat]

Not relevant, but in my country we don't have them at all. I've only seen them in movies and stuff....to me it's a weird thing to do.

Looks like fun though, if someone would arrange it, but since there is no tradition I don't think family and friends would know what to do

 

[wavescrash]

So heres a question....What about blended families? I have an 8 year old, and my current husband and I are expecting. My 2nd, his 1st. Once we announce, his family will be beyond excited, and I cant imagine not registering. Since its been 8 years since i had my DD Im sure my family will have no issues with getting us gifts off of our registry, esp since none of my family lives within 6 hours of us.

Totally ok to have another one. Some things you got from your first may be outdated or expired. Plus all etiquette I've heard says you can have a second after a 5 year gap no matter what.

I had one with my first and second, both girls born 6.5 years apart. Nobody cared that I had another.

 

[zoomhilda]

I was raised by older parents so maybe it's a more traditional view, but my understanding is that you only get a shower for baby #1. Supposedly, you are expected to have your act together by the time you have subsequent kids and know what your doing/have leftovers from baby #1... etc. I'm not having a second shower, that being said, I know many friends and co-workers who do have showers for each child.

 

[Meggo24]

I think you should have a shower for every baby you have regardless of gender or age! Its about celebrating!

 

[tryn4]

I agree. If I had a baby every 9 months I would have one! Its about celebrating life, new life & fun! I will have 2, my work will throw me one & my family & friends will have one. I'm in Canada, born in the Caribbean and in both countries we say party! I love shopping for baby gifts for other mums & even the small thoughtful gifts are appreciated. Actually just come! No gifts necessary. We have food, games, laughter. Sometimes we have jack n Jill ones for men to come too, those end up being parties with dj & dance. Also I've never heard u can only have for #1 what a shame! So the others aren't special? Boooo! LOL

 

[sojourn]

I think that they should be different genders OR farther apart (maybe not 5 years, but some difference). I like what someone said about "baby sprinkles" for subsequent babies.

This is basically why you are supposed to register for gender neutral large items (crib, stroller, carrier, bassinet, onesies, cloth diapers etc.). Then you can keep and use them for the next one. The "baby sprinkles" are the kinds of things that everyone ALWAYS gives for new babies. Clothes, baby blankets and stuff like that.

Maybe it's just because my brother has SIX children and they had a shower for all of them. It kind of annoyed me that while I was newly pregnant with my first I was being invited to a shower for her sixth. After being told "Don't buy ANYTHING we have everything you could ever need!". Her church friends threw it, and I know the new baby got lots of presents. I just thought it was kind of crass.

Basically, I think that if someone wants to throw it for you, that's fine. I just, personally, wouldn't register. Presumably, you would still have the big stuff from before.

BTW: I am all for celebrating babies. I love babies (obv!). Where I come from, the baby shower isn't 100% about celebrating the baby and is generally focused on the community/friends/family rallying around the new mother and making sure she has everything she needs to take care of the baby. Kind of like how a bridal shower is supposed to equip a bride with what they need to be a wife.

LOTS of people have parties when their babies are a month or two old where people come and celebrate the baby. Gifts aren't necessary, but that's usually when people give the new baby gifts. That way people get to celebrate the baby when the baby is actually present.

 

[Eccleston2011]

I was always told you get one for the first baby, a baby shower is really just getting what you need.

I really didn't want a shower with our first and it was extremely awkward. I think because it was an in law who threw it, that didn't know me very well. Also all my family and friends are miles and miles away and I would never expect them to come. It kinda made me sad to celebrate without them.

That being said I do think all babies are blessings and should be celebrated. But I never really understood showering parents with loads of gifts. In my opinion a small gift from close family is enough. And there is too much emphases on things! A better way to spend the time and money is to help the mom out after baby is here. Even if it's just coming by and talking.

With this next one we will be hosting a small party after baby is here as a welcome home ( partly because I don't want anyone at the hospital ). If they want to bring something for the baby I won't stop them but I'm not going to ask for anything or open them while guests are here. ( That's the part I hate the most, I feel like everyone always compares what is brought. Totally awkward, even when I'm not the one opening them ).

I know I'm weird!

 

[monica2628]

So are traditional showers still just women? Anyone's significant other ever have a diaper, or other type of guy shower? I've had a few friends who basically had all the girls at the traditional baby shower and all the guys at the diaper/wipe party. I think its a pretty cool idea! What guy wouldn't enjoy pizza, beer, and hanging with the guys for a box of diapers?