Been worrying about posting this but sod it

[AP]

Hey girlies

I've been fighting with myself for days about posting this. I don't know why.

Simple plan is, we're getting married next year, and TTC again from there. LO will be almost 2(legal age)

I adore my LO, but I have ups and downs, and days where I am like "oooh my god!I never want to do this again".(I do have PND)
But hand on my heart I do, and I want her to have a little brother or sister.

I worry that I wouldnt be able to manage. Is this normal? It doesnt help that I always worry about having another preemie, but thats a whole different story!

 

[tabby28]

I can't say that I can give you very good advice, because I've not got a LO, but I can say that I am up and down about almost every decision I make - whether its little like buying groceries or a new top or a big one like TTC or getting a new puppy.

I think I'm made that way - but it sounds to me like your experiences have made you have more doubts than you might have otherwise had. I personally think thats a good thing - it sounds silly but I do believe that we make the best decisions when we are well-informed about the ups and downs of any situation. And it sounds to me like you know the good and bad things about the whole being a mum situation and your heart is still telling you that you want another child. So, in your heart you know youre doing the right thing, and your head is just making sure. I think its totally normal and right.

Sorry if I just said the obvious there, I know I'm not experienced enough to give you good advice on this, but I didn't want to read and run

 

[topazicatzbet]

i think its only natural that you have these concerns, mixed with the pnd which messes with your head.

when i was pregnant with callum i had moments where i would worry if i was doing the right thing (im a single mummy and used a donor to concieve) but now he is here i know i did,and im planning number 2 in sept, i also wonder if i ll manage ok.

decieding to have a baby is one of the biggest decicion in your life so i think its only natural to worry and have doubts that you have made the right decision.

 

[Pippin]

Awww love you are NOT alone here, I do as well. I really want another one, badly, but I'm wondering if it's being pregnant again more than having another one at the end of it. Suddenly catch my self thinking, oh my God how will I cope with two??? But then I have other days where I see him play with an older child (aged two) and they entertain themselves and I enjoy the break. You'll have good days and bad days and when I have spoken to Mum's of two they said they thought exactly the same but the reality is different. I'll have to train my husband better for when number two comes but that's a whole different discussion I'm sure you will feel different when she is a bit older. I have to remind myself he will be a whole different child in a years time and so will I. I already know I will be more relaxed next time as the little things I used to worry about I think back and think how silly I was, so hopefully that will make a difference too. My only advice is don't try unless you feel ready, it's not fair on you or your family.

 

[Eternal]

i worry how i will cope with two especially because im planning mine quite close :S I think its a sign of a good mum that she worries about her ability to cope, but when it comes down to it we have to so we will.

I dont have family around to help which is sometimes hard but i have to cope so i do.

I suffer from depression but thankfully havent had PND ... it will affect your ability to see how well you ARE doing and your confidence. However if you feel you want more then my advice would be to do it! You have had PND once you know what its like and next time early detection should help as well.

Good luck x

 

[charlotteb24]

I worry all the time about this too! I have bad days and good days with Noah as every parent does with their children and I say never again but in my heart of hearts I don't want my boy an only child!
I worry how I'll cope with 2 but that's why Im waiting another year before trying as he will be nearer to 3 and a lot more independant. I definantly don't want 2 babies at the same time if I can help it! But if it did happen mummy's are amazing things we cope!

 

[claire_love]

Hi,

i didnt want to read and run!


X

 

[4magpies]

Dont mean to sound daft but what do you mean by "nearly 2 (legal age)"?

I'm confused? Is it illegal for you to have another baby before your 1st is 2? Where do you live?
xx

 

[Pippin]

Dont mean to sound daft but what do you mean by "nearly 2 (legal age)"?

I'm confused? Is it illegal for you to have another baby before your 1st is 2? Where do you live?
xx

Her first baby was premature hon so legal from date of birth not corrected age from conception. Hope that helps.

 

[AP]

legal age/actual age. She was born when I was in my 27th week of pregnancy.

For example when she turns one,she will still be developmentally/the size of a 9 month old.

Thanks girls. Very interesting replies from each of you and something for me to think about. OH would love to TTC again, but it depends on how I feel, and how DD1 develops.

 

[Armywife]

Awww love you are NOT alone here, I do as well. I really want another one, badly, but I'm wondering if it's being pregnant again more than having another one at the end of it. Suddenly catch my self thinking, oh my God how will I cope with two??? But then I have other days where I see him play with an older child (aged two) and they entertain themselves and I enjoy the break. You'll have good days and bad days and when I have spoken to Mum's of two they said they thought exactly the same but the reality is different. I'll have to train my husband better for when number two comes but that's a whole different discussion I'm sure you will feel different when she is a bit older. I have to remind myself he will be a whole different child in a years time and so will I. I already know I will be more relaxed next time as the little things I used to worry about I think back and think how silly I was, so hopefully that will make a difference too. My only advice is don't try unless you feel ready, it's not fair on you or your family.

My thoughts exactly. This is how i think and feel so yes, it is normal honey xxxx

 

[4magpies]

Ahh okay I get you now. Thanks for the explanation! xxx