Being happy for other people

[pipilotta]

I think I can say that I can feel happy for people, even though it makes me sad because we are struggling. It depends on their behaviour and how they are telling me the news. After all, it's not their fault I'm are Lttc, I do sometimes have to remind myself of that.

But what I don't like are lectures or advice of people who don't know what it means to Lttc. Or my dad who I really think would love a grandchild, he tells me of everyone being pregnant, gave birth, planning a family. I don't even tell him or my mum that we are trying, it just gives him false hope.

What is hard too are people like my good friend, who struggle financially to bring up their four kids, but want another.

But thumbs up to a facebook friend, who didn't post a single thing about her pregnancy on fb. Not a word. And it was such a surprise to see the photo of little girl, and this really made me happy. Thanks to people like her!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

It's funny but the first day this thread was started I was really struggling after seeing a picture of one of my best friend's pregnant belly posted on fb. I hate the vicious cycle of the feeling you get hearing announcements, seeing pics of bellies and pregnant ppl being everywhere but then the guilt you feel for feeling that way!

It's 18 months since we started TTC #2 and in the last 5 months (when it's been the hardest) 3 of my best friends have gotten pregnant with their 2nd (their first borns are all 1-2 years younger than my son) and my sister is pregnant with her 1st. I'm absolutely delighted for them all but at the same time it hurts so much - especially since they all got pregnant without any issues whatsoever pretty much as soon as they started trying. Because my son is 3 I have to go to preschool/activities etc and it seems either every other mum is pregnant again or has a new baby..... it's so depressing!

I know I am so lucky to have my son but it doesn't take away from the fact that I am so desperate to have another so that he can have a brother or sister. Instead nothing, but I am constantly surrounded by pregnant people and hearing new announcements. I wish it wasn't so hard and the people that are pregnant understood more

 

[Serenyx]

My little sister just gave birth to a second unplanned but pleasant surprise an my mum commented how proud I had been supporting her even through my journey..I felt my sister getting pregnant easily was different to freinds an easier to accept.

I am really struggling with my younger sister's pregnancy Please don't get me wrong - I am ever so happy for her and I really want to be involved (I am going to be an Auntie ), but the times I have talked to her about it I have been a complete mess afterwards I can only see it getting worse as she progresses through her pregnancy. Especially since it wasn't exactly planned and her and her bf don't even have their own place at the moment. My only hope is that I can fall pregnant before she is due to give birth

Everywhere I go there seem to be pregnant people around - I work with several pregnant women, men are going on paternity leave and the other day one of the women (who knows about our situation) decided to tell me that her son's girlfriend was pregnant with twins and they hadn't even been trying On FB I tend just to hide the status updates I don't want to read - it makes it easier

 

[Madgirl]

I dont get happy when others get pregnant, but more I get unhappy for myself.

 

[aimze]

My little sister just gave birth to a second unplanned but pleasant surprise an my mum commented how proud I had been supporting her even through my journey..I felt my sister getting pregnant easily was different to freinds an easier to accept.

I am really struggling with my younger sister's pregnancy Please don't get me wrong - I am ever so happy for her and I really want to be involved (I am going to be an Auntie ), but the times I have talked to her about it I have been a complete mess afterwards I can only see it getting worse as she progresses through her pregnancy. Especially since it wasn't exactly planned and her and her bf don't even have their own place at the moment. My only hope is that I can fall pregnant before she is due to give birth

Everywhere I go there seem to be pregnant people around - I work with several pregnant women, men are going on paternity leave and the other day one of the women (who knows about our situation) decided to tell me that her son's girlfriend was pregnant with twins and they hadn't even been trying On FB I tend just to hide the status updates I don't want to read - it makes it easier

Hun the first time my sister was pregnant I wept & wept...gutted I'm the eldest & should provide the first grandchild...I thnk all the early tears helped me get over my own sadness an my nephew is just amazing an helps me through my sad times...

Her second pregnancy was also tough on me, looking at her n her two children in the same time we've been trying makes me cry....but I do look forward to when the new baby is big enough to have sleepovers & I will be their fave aunty!

Will we ever not get upset with announcements? X

 

[aimze]

I dont get happy when others get pregnant, but more I get unhappy for myself.

This quote needs publishing....you've hit the nail on the head! X

 

[Serenyx]

Hun the first time my sister was pregnant I wept & wept...gutted I'm the eldest & should provide the first grandchild...I thnk all the early tears helped me get over my own sadness an my nephew is just amazing an helps me through my sad times...

Her second pregnancy was also tough on me, looking at her n her two children in the same time we've been trying makes me cry....but I do look forward to when the new baby is big enough to have sleepovers & I will be their fave aunty!

Will we ever not get upset with announcements? X

I'm so glad there are people here who understand

I just hope my sister is having a baby boy, I think that will be easier for me to bear (me and DH have several fertility issues and in the last 11 years we have only managed to fall pregnant twice, once in 2002 which ended in a mc and once in 2011 but my daughter was stillborn. We are now LTTTC again and under fertility treatment).

I know she will go to the same hospital I was at and i'm not sure I can go to there again

I am so looking forward to being an Auntie though I am an Auntie through marriage but it will be different with my sisters child

 

[DecemberWait]

My DH have just passed one year of TTC and after three early losses it really is gutting to see all of my friends go on to have pregnancies and healthy babies. I try to not feel resentful but it is very difficult. It doesn't help that NONE of my close friends struggle with or understand infertility so they aren't particularly sensitive (ie- "why don't you just adopt" or "just be patient and don't think about it"). My best friend is due on June 24th which is my next infertility appointment...kind of feels cruel but I just try to stay as positive as possible and imagine that one day it WILL happen...and when it does I will want my friends there for me...so I try to support them though it can be VERY hard for sure!!!