BFP today & unexpected

[daybyday2014]

Hi all,

I'm brand new to this forum. I had an inkling I am pregnant, took the test this morning (2 of them at home) and both are positive. Now starts the whirlwind of emotions. Any input from those with experience is greatly appreciated. Here's my situation:

I'm almost 24 years old, my boyfriend is older and we have been together about 1.5 years. He already has 2 kids of his own which he splits custody 50/50 with his ex-wife. I was on birth control so how i managed to get pregnant is beyond me. I'm so lost, i have no idea what to do. I need to break the news to him soon as the anxiety of wondering how he will react and what will happen is too much to handle. I know he wants more kids eventually but not necessarily right this moment or with me. We had never really discussed it in detail. Also terrified to tell my mother as she thinks my boyfriend is "just okay" but that I could do better. Her main issue is concerned with his kids & ex-wife, our age difference and the fact that him and i have different religious beliefs.

Our relationship has been good overall and we rarely have fights or disagreements, but this is a huge game changer. I have to decide what to do, whether i will keep or put my baby up for adoption, how to tell my boyfriend, how to tell my mom, etc. Please help!

 

[shazney22]

Hi all,

I'm brand new to this forum. I had an inkling I am pregnant, took the test this morning (2 of them at home) and both are positive. Now starts the whirlwind of emotions. Any input from those with experience is greatly appreciated. Here's my situation:

I'm almost 24 years old, my boyfriend is older and we have been together about 1.5 years. He already has 2 kids of his own which he splits custody 50/50 with his ex-wife. I was on birth control so how i managed to get pregnant is beyond me. I'm so lost, i have no idea what to do. I need to break the news to him soon as the anxiety of wondering how he will react and what will happen is too much to handle. I know he wants more kids eventually but not necessarily right this moment or with me. We had never really discussed it in detail. Also terrified to tell my mother as she thinks my boyfriend is "just okay" but that I could do better. Her main issue is concerned with his kids & ex-wife, our age difference and the fact that him and i have different religious beliefs.

Our relationship has been good overall and we rarely have fights or disagreements, but this is a huge game changer. I have to decide what to do, whether i will keep or put my baby up for adoption, how to tell my boyfriend, how to tell my mom, etc. Please help!

You wont know how your bf/mom will react till you tell them so just go ahead and see what happens. congratulations though. am sure ur family will be thrilled.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

Congratulations!

 

[saveme]

Congratulations first off and the only advice I think I could give is you should tell him and see what his feeling is, and then go from there. I hope in the end its a decision you want. Good luck.

 

[skyesmom]

congrats!! it is a shock indeed, so it's normal that you feel overwhelmed. try taking it one thing at a time, and see how it goes and how the situation develops. both him and your mom sound like good people actually, and telling them may not be as tough as you fear!

also, deciding whether to keep or adopt is a really personal decision, and you really shouldn't take into account what people say on the forums or boards there. those decisions are yours and of your partner only. giving your baby away for adoption is tough, and in a way a really selfless act as well, as you could bless another family who can't have children with a baby they wanted so much.

but before winding your brain up with million what ifs and so on... face your partner and your mom and then see how it is

and also, give a call to your GP to book an appointment and of course, stop taking contraception immediately, but i guess you already know that!

ps. i believe children come to us when they wanna come, rather when we decide to have them, and it sometimes really doesn't fit our initial plans we had for ourselves... yet it is a marvelous thing and certainly changes your life for good.

 

[mrskcbrown]

Congrats and its your decision. Don't let anyone influence that. Praying for you!

 

[Kiwiberry]

Congratulations hun!
I wish you a very H&H 9 months!

 

[lisap2008]

I was in a similar situation with my 4th baby , its still a mystery how she was conceived , I just figured she is meant to be here, My boyfriend at the time and my family were not happy for me , first thing her father said is get a abortion. found out later on that was because he was still with his ex wife and basically leading a double life, never planned on marrying me or being with me for long term. my family was not thrilled only because they are religious and I was not married. but being as she was in my body so it was ultimately my choice whether to keep her or not I chose to keep her , it was a less then happy pregnancy , because I had no one there for me , I was completely alone for the whole pregnancy and delivery of her. but she turned out to really be a blessing.

I would talk to your boyfriend about this as soon as possible and remember its your decision. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.

 

[xxmyheartxx]

Congratulations xx

 

[Excalibur]

Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months

 

[daybyday2014]

Wow, thanks for all your responses everyone. I told my boyfriend yesterday and he took it surprisingly well. Although he did say he wishes we had taken MORE precautions, i.e. taking BC every single day without fail, he feels that a baby is a blessing from god and he is welcoming it. When I asked about abortion he said "are you nuts?!". When i asked about adopting, he said he'd adopt it. So I guess that means that he wants to keep it, which is a positive reaction.

Although I myself am honestly confused, I can't imagine giving it up or aborting it, but keeping it sounds scary too. I know the baby will be surrounded with love, but not sure if our relationship is strong enough to handle it. I am honestly petrified.

Next comes telling my mom. I know she will be disappointed at first, but i'm hoping she will eventually be excited and happy as i am her only child so will be a first grandchild for her. But I am dreading the moment of telling her more than anything i can imagine. Even though we've always been close and had a great relationship, i don't want to risk losing that.

 

[DolceBella]

Congratulations, and best of luck with whatever you choose!

 

[lisap2008]

Wow, thanks for all your responses everyone. I told my boyfriend yesterday and he took it surprisingly well. Although he did say he wishes we had taken MORE precautions, i.e. taking BC every single day without fail, he feels that a baby is a blessing from god and he is welcoming it. When I asked about abortion he said "are you nuts?!". When i asked about adopting, he said he'd adopt it. So I guess that means that he wants to keep it, which is a positive reaction.

Although I myself am honestly confused, I can't imagine giving it up or aborting it, but keeping it sounds scary too. I know the baby will be surrounded with love, but not sure if our relationship is strong enough to handle it. I am honestly petrified.

Next comes telling my mom. I know she will be disappointed at first, but i'm hoping she will eventually be excited and happy as i am her only child so will be a first grandchild for her. But I am dreading the moment of telling her more than anything i can imagine. Even though we've always been close and had a great relationship, i don't want to risk losing that.

I am glad he took it well , and I hope your mother does as well. having a baby is scary and even more so when its your first and unplanned .

 

[shazney22]

I am happy he took it well. I hope your mum takes it well. let us know how things go

 

[Xxenssial]

Congrats

 

[ChiiBaby]

Congratulations! Hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months

 

[mummy2_1]

Didn't want to read and run. Fingers crossed for u. Wishing u luck with telling your mum.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Congratulations! Happy and healthy 9 months!