Birthing partners... when the time comes, who will be yours?

[Winter Belle]

Hi all,

I recently read an article in the daily mail written by a male obstetrician (sp?) about why husbands and partners should not be present at the birth of the child. I have always felt that I didn't want my OH present at the birth, partly because he is useless in hospitals! and partly because I think he would never look at me as attractive ever again (probably a misjudgement of him though). Because of these reasons I don't think I could relax enough with him there. Additionally he doesn't want to be there either so it is mutually agreed!

Similarly i wouldn't want my mum there either as she is extremely squeamish and not good in anxious/traumatic situations. she had all three of her children by C section under general anaesthetic and only ever had one contraction so I think she would also be more of a hinderence... *sorry mum!*

I am thinking of asking one of two friends who have had children and I know they are both good in emergency situations..

TBH though I would rather do it alone with the midwives present as I think i would be more comfortable.. although I would want friends there if complications arose.

So this got me wondering..who do you want as your birthing partner and why?

Thanks for reading
Love and Light
Winter
xxxx


P.S This is a link to the article I read ..
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-559913/A-obstetrician-men-NEVER-birth-child.html

 

[hexyewdancer]

Im having my mum as my birthing partner because i wouldnt trust anyone else and im really close to my mum. Basically i cant do anything without her so i have to have her there.

My hubby will be present in the room as i cant do anything without him either but he wont be my birthing partner because he fainted at my blood test so sure will faint when im giving birth and will be no good.

 

[Winter Belle]

P.P.S. i don't want to sound like I'm against partners being presnt at the birth... for many it is a wonderful experience and the right thing for them but I just know that my OH would be well and truly useless.. lol!! xxxx

 

[Drazic<3]

Ohhh not the daily mail!!

I want my OH there. I think its so special and amazing, and he wants to be part of it. Intresting thread though

 

[Winter Belle]

Ohhh not the daily mail!!

I want my OH there. I think its so special and amazing, and he wants to be part of it. Intresting thread though

hehe, yeah that Daily mail is dangerous I know!

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I think i'd want my OH and my mum there. xx

 

[Pops]

My OH will be with me but my Mum won't be far away either. In fact, I am pretty sure they will both be with me right up to the very end where Mumsy might go outside and leave us on our own for the actual delivery part.

xxx

 

[Lilaala]

Definitely would have to be my husband, he's my best friend and for all that he says he's scared to be there I will be squeezing the heck out of his hand for sure! I also want Mum there as she and I are super close and even though she was too drugged during my birth (she was so out of it she didn't feel contractions) it will feel like I've got support to have her there too. There is no one else in this world I would prefer to have there than the two of them. I am not close with my dad and not that close with my girlfriends either, so that's it!

I think what matters is that you feel comfortable with who is with you, whomever they may be.

 

[Caroline]

I've had my OH with me for all 3 of my children.

There is no way in the world I would have my mum with me. I had my good friend take me to hospital & stay with me until OH arrived when i had a scare @ work with DD2 as I also work with her, & had there been a problem & OH not been able to get there i would have had her there.

My OH is far from put off being there, he actually told me awhile back that he wasn't put off, but won't repeat what he actually said

I was eternally grateful to have him there with no 3 as midwife wouldn't listen to me & it was only when OH stepped in did she actually listen.

My OH was my rock during labour, he was even giving orders to junior dr the last time round as things progressed quickly & he was making sure I behaved myself as I had SPD.

So all being well when we have no 4 he'll be thre too.

 

[toffee87]

I'd want my Mum around, but not in the room. I'd want my OH there for sure! Takes two to tango, and it's only fair he suffers the trauma as well LOL.

 

[hayley x]

I honestley would never want my mum there!! My view is that she wasnt there when we made the baby so i dont want here there when i deliver the baby (thats my opinion, my best friend who's due a few weeks after me is having her mum there which is personal choice) I dont want anyone thinkin i dont think mums should go in thats just my opinion. I want my OH in there, he wants to come in too, but he is really squeemish and he faints at the sight of blood, but hoping the thought of his baby coming into the world will stop him... doubt it!! lol. Id never really thought about it much I just 'assumed' it would be just me and my OH, dont know why?? xxx

 

[nadupoi]

When I have a baby, I would want my mom and OH with me up to the point of delivery, then I'd just want it to be OH. It kind of creeps me out to think of my mom seeing me in that sort of condition. And OH is the best at taking care of me and he knows me well, so I don't know what I'd do without him there!

 

[Sarah88]

I will have my OH and probably my mum again. Was good

 

[Sarah88]

P.P.S. i don't want to sound like I'm against partners being presnt at the birth... for many it is a wonderful experience and the right thing for them but I just know that my OH would be well and truly useless.. lol!! xxxx

He may suprise you. I thought my OH would be worried and frantic and keep annoying me but he was really good.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

My H is a calm and caring person and is very good in situations and I wouldn't want anyone else, it will be his baby I need him there

 

[jen1604]

It will be me and my OH again,like it was last time.To be fair he actually wasnt much use because he hates blood so he ended up just sat on a chair facing me so he couldnt see what was going on down the 'business end'.To be honest my midwives were amazing and I would have been quite happy for it just to have been me and the midwives but it meant a lot to my OH.xx

 

[gnomette]

i would just want my oh i had my mum with me when i gave birth to my son and i am telling you now she paniced badly she saw me as her baby in pain and spent the whole time trying to get me to have drugs i didnt want i did get the natural no drug birth i wanted in the end but had to fight harder than i would have done had she not been there! but i know my oh wants to be there but avoid looking at the unattractive bit but i know he wouldnt be able to help himself cause he would wanna see baba as soon as he could! but i wouldnt have any one else with me and i would wanna have baba at home any one else wanna give birth at home??

 

[clairebear]

i had my mum and dh (little sister until waters broke). they were all fantastic Dh was brilliant i wouldnt change it for the world x when i went for my emergency c section he was my rock if he hadnt of been there i would have broke down. he will be there when i have a section with number 2.

 

[bailey4eva]

I though at first it was a daft question coz everyone will say mum and OH but its actually interestin to see different views on it!!

Personally, I would want my mum there with me without a doubt, she has been a counsellor and she does hypnotherapy (and hypnobirthing!!), she can keep very calm and reassuring. I would have to have OH there too though, something he wouldnt want to miss. I dont think he would be ideally helpful but i really dont expect him to be, but i know he can take gore because he used to work in a funeral home (which he still goes visiting as some of his family work there). So he has dealt with "the deceist" etc.

Ideal place would probably be at hospital. I know there that the mess will be cleaned up and its the place that is built for situations like that, whereas if i wanted a home birth (which in a fantasy world would be brill) but realistically i wouldnt wana ruin my carpets or anythin hahaha. I duno i would feel safer at hospital. Kinda like the idea of water birth though, but not too sure yet. xxx

 

[sleepinbeauty]

My OH and I plan on tackling birth together. He's very squeamish and spends a lot of time looking over my shoulder to see what I'm reading and turning green and looking away (9/10 times it's when I'm reading my midwife stuff ) but he said he wouldn't ever give it up for the world. We plan on just the two of us in there, but family and friends are MORE than welcome to wait/pop their head in in the early stages ^-^