Bonding with a NICU Baby

[sunnylove]

I've found bonding with my NICU baby to be difficult. Right after he was born I didn't feel that chemical connection with him, as he was delivered via c-section and taken to NICU immediately. I didn't get to hold him until he was 5 days old. Of course I love him immensely and think about him all the time, I just feel like I should feel more of a connection with him. It's so hard. How has your bonding been? Does it not really "kick in" until baby comes home?

 

[25weeker]

I never really bonded until my dd came home but over 3 years later I would say it hasn't affected us in anyway and I don't dwell on it as it isn't really something I could help. During the NICU journey I felt like I was visiting this little person who I knew I loved but I couldn't believe she was really mine. It's not a normal experience having to ask can you do anything with your child. Try not to worry the bonding will happen xx

 

[rbourre]

I didn't really bond with her until she was out of the NICU and into the special care nursery. Once she was in the nursery, they let us take her out and into a room and sit with her alone. The nurses just came to check on her every once in a while and brought in her bottles. Our NICU was very strict, but the nursery was very laid back (different hospitals).

 

[vermeil]

I never really bonded until my dd came home but over 3 years later I would say it hasn't affected us in anyway and I don't dwell on it as it isn't really something I could help. During the NICU journey I felt like I was visiting this little person who I knew I loved but I couldn't believe she was really mine. It's not a normal experience having to ask can you do anything with your child. Try not to worry the bonding will happen xx

This exactly! I`ve said this to anyone who asked, and don`t feel ashamed. It took a good 6 months of my son being home before I felt bonded to him. I loved him to pieces but he seemed like this adorable little person I`d go visit every day.

It`s perfectly normal! Please don`t feel bad. Preemie parents go through a LOT. Give yourself time to heal too. Then you can build this beautiful, loving relationship with your child.

I don`t want to peeve off other parents by saying this, but I find my bond with my son just extra special now, for all those hard months we went through together. There`s just something extra loving about having a preemie.

 

[lozzy21]

Are you getting any skin to skin? That's the best way to bond with baby because it gives a chemical reaction, both for you and baby.

 

[chelseav1213]

I was so terrified of my LO when he went into the NICU that I absolutely could not bond with him there, I was terrified to be alone with him, scared to feed him, scared to hold him. I bonded better once he got home but I was still so scared of him.. It took a few months to really be comfortable enough to get a very strong bond, but I do believe a lot of this was due to Post Natal Anxiety, which possibly stemmed from LO being early and in the NICU. There was an instant feeling I got once I got him home and laid him on our bed, which really started the bonding process for us! Don't worry hun, it is really hard having to go through this but you will bond, some women don't bond instantly even when their babies aren't in the NICU, its different for everyone but doesn't mean you love him any less!!!