Breast feeding in public? Your views?

[Tasha]

But again you are putting "conditions" on what women should do when they breastfeed. Abby sometimes pulled off a lot, she sometimes didn't. As I said, anyone close enough to see anything can get out of my face. People should get used to seeing all sorts of women breastfeeding in different ways, it's totally wrong to say "yeah, you can do it, but really, try to make sure no-one actually sees anything"

I really have seen more flesh on show in many more places than I ever have from women NIP. I suspect the reason so few women actually do it is because there are so many "rules" they are supposed to adhere to, its easier just to stay at home.

So true, and this of course then has an impact on how long people continue to BF, in some cases. As quite simply staying home or only being able to pop out for 90 minutes at a time cos you need to be back home to nurse is horrible.

 

[Natsku]

If the mother has trouble being discreet or the baby pulls off and flashes the nipple why don't people just look away? One brief glimpse is not going to hurt them but telling that mother that they are doing it wrong does hurt them by making them feel ashamed for doing what they should never feel ashamed for.
And if a mother doesn't bother being discreet you can still look away, it still doesn't hurt you.

 

[Foogirl]

I feel for larger-breasted women, I honestly do. I have freaking A-cups and flashed sometimes but nobody would've seen much. I don't know how a well-endowed woman is supposed to feed discreetly all the time, and especially not when she's just getting the hang of it. What, she's not supposed to go anywhere till BF is established? That's silly. And even when it is, flashes still happen. The world needs to get a grip, honestly.

My DD cups certainly made it a challenge!

 

[Randianne]

Mikayla, read more closely before you attack. I NIP. I'm certainly not against it. And yes, my child will know what boobs are for. However, if you study biology, you will find that they are also for attracting mates. If you don't believe me, research it.

Let me clarify:

Nursing in public is good.

It's not dirty. Women shouldn't feel dirty or uncomfortable.

Seeing a boob isn't the end of the world.

However, for a child of a certain age it can bring up sexual feelings that are confusing. Maybe they aren't mentally ready to understand what their body is doing. Maybe mom and dad have religious beliefs that make them more modest.

How is it hypocritical to ask for courtesy? Did I say don't NIP? Please show me where I did. Because that's what everything I've been hearing is based on, and it's not true.

I WANT my child to see NIP. I WANT them to see it as natural. I also don't want them to see nudity before I think they are ready. I also block my TV channels and have an internet blocker.

I am not trying to say you shouldn't NIP. I am PRO NIP. I NURSED IN PUBLIC. I don't know how many more times I can say it.

 

[Dk1234]

But again you are putting "conditions" on what women should do when they breastfeed. Abby sometimes pulled off a lot, she sometimes didn't. As I said, anyone close enough to see anything can get out of my face. People should get used to seeing all sorts of women breastfeeding in different ways, it's totally wrong to say "yeah, you can do it, but really, try to make sure no-one actually sees anything"

I really have seen more flesh on show in many more places than I ever have from women NIP. I suspect the reason so few women actually do it is because there are so many "rules" they are supposed to adhere to, its easier just to stay at home.

So true, and this of course then has an impact on how long people continue to BF, in some cases. As quite simply staying home or only being able to pop out for 90 minutes at a time cos you need to be back home to nurse is horrible.

I didn't nurse in public for the first 3-4 months. I went out all the time. I fed in dressing rooms, my car, nice restrooms, or expressed and took a bottle. I didn't feel shackled or anything.

 

[Tasha]

I feel for larger-breasted women, I honestly do. I have freaking A-cups and flashed sometimes but nobody would've seen much. I don't know how a well-endowed woman is supposed to feed discreetly all the time, and especially not when she's just getting the hang of it. What, she's not supposed to go anywhere till BF is established? That's silly. And even when it is, flashes still happen. The world needs to get a grip, honestly.

This is exactly my problem. I am a J/K cup, I dont know how to be discreet with them. My breasts are still larger than my four year olds head (I know because she likes to wear my bra as a hat ), so no a newborn or a six month old or whatever would not cover the majority. It also means positioning etc was hard and I always felt like I needed a third hand.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I once flashed my dad by accident. And I wasn't even BF then. Seeing a breast for a few seconds never killed him and I doubt it would anyone.

Absolutely not. It probably did make him uncomfortable though. My point isn't that it is awful and horrible for anyone to see a boob. My 5 year old cousin wlked in whole I was nursing and she had never seen it before and she didn't even ask a question. She looked at baby and moved on, but I wouldn't have wanted baby to pull off at that moment either. My main point is, in order for people of all kinds to view nip as normal and acceptable, I think discretion is a better route to take than not caring about anyone but your baby. I want nursing to be normal and I want nip to be normal. I don't think flashig boob in public helps it.

It did, but he got over it and never mentioned it at all. Same when I BF and flashed him by mistake. He had a bit of a giggle and shielded his face but he lived, lol. And this is my dad, the one man in the world who just should not be seeing me naked in any form. I don't know why strangers can't be that forgiving

I don't think we're going to find common ground here. It's so sad that no one has consideration for other parents anymore. The 'only my child matters' attitude is really sad. I guess it's not really a village, is it?

And for the record, I wasn't talking about an accidental nip slip by a new BFing mom. I did that too in the early days. I was talking about those that don't even attempt not to show a full on breast.

Massive leap to say no-one has any consideration for other parents. Totally out of proportion. This is one situation, and one which is protected by law.

But tell me, why is it ok for your 7 year old to see the "accidental" breast of a new BFing mother in their early days but not the "purposeful" breast of a mother who is more experienced?

This. Eamon was terrible for pulling off and so was Liam once they realised there was a world to look at and not just Mummy's chest. Was I supposed to not go anywhere ever till I finished BF in case I offended you-- oh, I mean, your child? (Who I doubt has the faintest that breasts are offensive unless you taught them so.)

If the mother has trouble being discreet or the baby pulls off and flashes the nipple why don't people just look away? One brief glimpse is not going to hurt them but telling that mother that they are doing it wrong does hurt them by making them feel ashamed for doing what they should never feel ashamed for.
And if a mother doesn't bother being discreet you can still look away, it still doesn't hurt you.

This too. Looking away is not hard, people. If anyone sees something really offensive aren't they likely to not want to see it and turn their head? Why is this any different?

 

[pinklightbulb]

I feel for larger-breasted women, I honestly do. I have freaking A-cups and flashed sometimes but nobody would've seen much. I don't know how a well-endowed woman is supposed to feed discreetly all the time, and especially not when she's just getting the hang of it. What, she's not supposed to go anywhere till BF is established? That's silly. And even when it is, flashes still happen. The world needs to get a grip, honestly.

This is exactly my problem. I am a J/K cup, I dont know how to be discreet with them. My breasts are still larger than my four year olds head (I know because she likes to wear my bra as a hat ), so no a newborn or a six month old or whatever would not cover the majority. It also means positioning etc was hard and I always felt like I needed a third hand.

I saw my cousin trying to BF with huge breasts. She couldn't even co-sleep because the breast would cover baby's nose. I felt so awful for her!

 

[Foogirl]

Teenage boys can get an erection on the bus. Should they walk everywhere? Swimming pools are a hazard too. In the newsagent. In the park.

Those feelings are not solely dependent on seeing a "purposeful" boob (because hey, the accidental ones are ok, right?) If they're not mentally ready then parents have bigger issues than NIP.

The hypocrisy is where you expect me to put your child first but won't extend that courtesy to mine. Exactly the same way you accused me of being hypocritical.

 

[Randianne]

How is not leaving your boob hanging out when the baby isn't on it affecting your child? Did I ask you to use a cover? No. Did I ask you to not feed your baby? No.

I have compassion for those who struggle with it. Accidents happen. But there is a HUGE difference in an accidental flash and your boob fully exposed for lengths of time.

 

[Foogirl]

so no a newborn or a six month old or whatever would not cover the majority.

lol, try it with a preemie newborn. With a head smaller than your average tattie!

I just got on with it, really.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I don't see it. Once upon a time, women went around bare-chested while learning to BF and nobody screamed about it. Once again, if you don't like it, move on and get on with your day. The BF mother and baby are, so why can't you?

 

[MikaylasMummy]

Mikayla, read more closely before you attack. I NIP. I'm certainly not against it. And yes, my child will know what boobs are for. However, if you study biology, you will find that they are also for attracting mates. If you don't believe me, research it.

Let me clarify:

Nursing in public is good.

It's not dirty. Women shouldn't feel dirty or uncomfortable.

Seeing a boob isn't the end of the world.

However, for a child of a certain age it can bring up sexual feelings that are confusing. Maybe they aren't mentally ready to understand what their body is doing. Maybe mom and dad have religious beliefs that make them more modest.

How is it hypocritical to ask for courtesy? Did I say don't NIP? Please show me where I did. Because that's what everything I've been hearing is based on, and it's not true.

I WANT my child to see NIP. I WANT them to see it as natural. I also don't want them to see nudity before I think they are ready. I also block my TV channels and have an internet blocker.

I am not trying to say you shouldn't NIP. I am PRO NIP. I NURSED IN PUBLIC. I don't know how many more times I can say it.

My bad.i was going off one chain of posts and it certainly seemed like you were saying you didn't want your son to see it.i apologise.

 

[Tasha]

I didn't nurse in public for the first 3-4 months. I went out all the time. I fed in dressing rooms, my car, nice restrooms, or expressed and took a bottle. I didn't feel shackled or anything.

Again your experience doesnt reflect that of all the people. Here dressing rooms are tiny and so therefore wouldnt be the best place to try to BF, however I hadnt thought of that when I was BF. Many people dont drive where I live (I didnt until last year, the one time I hid in a car I was lucky I was out with my Dad), we live in London so cars arent seen as needed for the majority. There are no nice restrooms here, they are all disgusting and all of the BF rooms in my high street are actually the smelly nappy changing room with a chair in And as you know some people cant express or their babies wont take a bottle.

 

[NellyLou]

I think some people are getting confused when others say they prefer to be discrete. It doesn't mean they are against nip, prudes, or that they don't nip themselves. This thread asked for opinions and they are giving their opinions. As I said, so much is just the perception that nip isn't acceptable and is not actually the case. I think that is the case here too.

 

[pinklightbulb]

so no a newborn or a six month old or whatever would not cover the majority.

lol, try it with a preemie newborn. With a head smaller than your average tattie!

I just got on with it, really.

Awww little tiny baby head... now I want another baby ahahaha why did you have to mention teeny babies! Mine were 5lb at birth and I can't remember them ever being that small now though. I couldn't imagine smaller!

 

[Dk1234]

Alright ladies its been fun. I'm heading to the in laws now so ill leave you all to it. Most of you have been very fun to debate with and I respect you. At the end of the day nursing isn't easy and my goal isn't to make it harder for anyone or make anyone feel shameful for doing it. I just think in order to make everyone comfortable with it, we should be discrete. I could be wrong. It doesn't happen often but it does bahahahaha. I appreciate those of you who were respectful even though we completely differ in opinions. Such is life.

 

[Dk1234]

Last thing, I have f's btw.

 

[Foogirl]

How is not leaving your boob hanging out when the baby isn't on it affecting your child? Did I ask you to use a cover? No. Did I ask you to not feed your baby? No.

I have compassion for those who struggle with it. Accidents happen. But there is a HUGE difference in an accidental flash and your boob fully exposed for lengths of time.

Perhaps the baby is to go back on it, perhaps the baby is wriggling and it will be dropped if the mother has to also adjust the clothing, but seriously, how many times has someone NIP actually left a boob exposed for "lengths of time" (which, incidentally could mean, one second, one minute or one hour) and the end result is the same, your 7 year old, or some highly strung emotionally stunted 13 year old boy has seen a boob. I'm not sure it matters if they only see it for a few seconds, does it?

 

[Natsku]

Sometimes you have your hands full with a wriggly baby and can't put your boob away immediately after finishing feeding. Sometimes you just forget. That boob looks the same as the boob of a woman who leaves it out on purpose - that boob doesn't magically not offend anyone because it was an accident.