'breast is best'...

[patch2006uk]

My point is that no baby should be more at risk. We should be demanding that these companies improve their product, not just accepting that formula has risks and that's the end of it. I only brought up the risks as it was claimed that formula is as good as it could possibly be. Facts shouldn't make you feel guilty. If you had no choice, then you had no choice. The risks are still tiny, but manufacturers should be pressured to make them non existent. Not be more worried about profit margins than the health implications of their products.

I'm a firm believer in making informed decisions. That sometimes requires facing some difficult truths. My second baby died in labour, and then I had to plan for a third labour. I was faced with some scary statistics around scar rupture, stillbirth rates, damage to women and babies. But I couldn't have made a decision without facing the truth about certain things. It's not really a comparable situation. But sometimes we have to accept risks we don't like. But burying our heads in the sand doesn't make the risks go away.

I don't judge anyone for how they feed their babies. But I do wonder why we accept as a society that formula is an imperfect product. Is it because we are so pitted against each other that any attempt to share information is seen as fear mongering or sensationalist? I do believe that any baby that can receive breastmilk should receive it. But those that can't, for whatever reason, shouldn't be placed at a greater risks. That's what women should be angry about. Not at each other.

 

[noon_child]

Thanks, pp.

I feel miserable enough as it is that my bf journey is over. Being told he's twice as likely to die now is definitely not helpful. I did everything I possibly could to get him to feed from me for 15.5 weeks and having to let it go has been incredibly hard.

He isn't twice as likely now, exactly because "every feed counts". Your perseverance to get even one breast feed inside your LO is a success for you to feel proud of.

I was lucky, my bf journey finally "clicked" at 11 weeks, but if it hadn't can I say I would have lasted to 15.5 weeks? Maybe, maybe NOT. It was so incredibly hard.

 

[patch2006uk]

Thanks, pp.

I feel miserable enough as it is that my bf journey is over. Being told he's twice as likely to die now is definitely not helpful. I did everything I possibly could to get him to feed from me for 15.5 weeks and having to let it go has been incredibly hard.

He isn't twice as likely now, exactly because "every feed counts". Your perseverance to get even one breast feed inside your LO is a success for you to feel proud of.

I was lucky, my bf journey finally "clicked" at 11 weeks, but if it hadn't can I say I would have lasted to 15.5 weeks? Maybe, maybe NOT. It was so incredibly hard.

This. 100% this

I was also lucky with my first-he finally latched at 8 days old. My friend also expressed for her daughter when she wouldn't latch. But her little girl never did latch, and she expressed for 8 weeks before switching to formula. It could just have easily been us with a baby that never latched. And I doubt I'd have lasted that long with expressing, because I hated it and I couldn't express enough for him even at less than a week old. Every feed counts. 3 months worth of breastmilk is amazing. Don't belittle that. I'm certainly not wanting to belittle it, and I'm very sorry if anything I've said has brought out those feeling in you. That's never been my intention x

 

[HBGirl]

Thanks, pp.

I feel miserable enough as it is that my bf journey is over. Being told he's twice as likely to die now is definitely not helpful. I did everything I possibly could to get him to feed from me for 15.5 weeks and having to let it go has been incredibly hard.

And you do a great job every single day, because you care. That is WAY better then what food he gets.

 

[patch2006uk]

FWIW, I get just as frustrated with BFing moms who think breastmilk is magic. It doesn't prevent illnesses, it's not an alternative for vaccines. It's just milk. Don't exaggerate the benefits, either. It's just milk.

 

[TCK_Runner]

FWIW, I get just as frustrated with BFing moms who think breastmilk is magic. It doesn't prevent illnesses, it's not an alternative for vaccines. It's just milk. Don't exaggerate the benefits, either. It's just milk.

So true! I am in a local Facebook group where I have asked about medications for babies with colds, infections, etc and I am tired of hearing things like "give her more milk" "squirt milk on/in it" "she shouldn't be/isn't sick because she's breastfed" --- sorry, but in every case my baby WAS ill and needed something beyond breast milk (even if it was just saline solution in some cases, in another case it was antibiotics and in another a cream).

 

[Popples1]

Thanks ladies. Sorry if I'm a bit over sensitive on this topic - it's still a bit raw. 'Every feed counts' is a fantastic way to look at it x

 

[muffingirl]

Breast feeding didn't work for me and i love the 'every feed counts' idea. I told my bf support worker we had fully gone on to formula and she said exactly this and told me my baby would thrive on formula just as much - it was just what I needed to hear! I must say my bf class pre birth was not as supportive especially towards a lady who couldn't bf for medical reasons. I have since given the class coordinators constructive feedback as they did not prepare me for the challenges I faced trying to bf.

 

[Pearls18]

People need to stop comparing breast milk and formula, they are not comparable, breast isn't best it's normal, that's the message the NHS is trying to put across now, you shouldn't hear "breast is best" from an NHS professional but I'm sure some still say it. If we keep putting breast milk on a pedestal it makes it seem unattainable, like breastfeeding mums are somehow better, nope it is normal, the qualities of breast milk is why it should be normal it is designed for us. Formula safely gives infants the nutrients they need but on a biological level can not go beyond that unlike breast milk, but so long as mothers are aware of that fact and why breast milk is different and can't be compared, it's their decision (hopefully, I am aware some people don't have a decision), there's no point guilt tripping or pressuring because that simply won't work.

 

[Melly Belly]

I fully intended to do nothing but breastfeed, i had a plethora of breastpads, got a nursing cover, was already thinking about a pump so that DH could feed while i work...didnt even consider formula as an option...but when she wouldnt latch once we got home and was screaming constantly, i felt horrible, and started using the supplementation samples from my OB's office....i was still try to get her to latch and we tried laying down, sitting up, football, across my arm, heck, i think at some point i even think i was upside down trying to feed her...when i pumped i only got an ounce or two a day for about three weeks, at which point i started back on my narcolepsy med, which transfers in breast milk, so the decision was made then to go completely to formula, because im certain the formula is better for her than my medicine affecting her....our friends had a baby about a week ago now, and visiting them at the hospital, our little girl wanted her baba, so DH made one for her..all the while our friend is talking about how she "makes enough milk to feed 6 kids.."....yeah..thanks for making me feel inadequate there, friend...

it took some reassurance from my OB and from baby's pediatrician but now i know that i did my best, thats all i can do, and yeah, i felt like a failure for a while when it wasnt working out...i never got engorged, didnt really leak..and i can still express some milk out, even though she has been FF exclusively for a month....so it just didnt work for us...and thats all...we gave it a good shot

 

[leigh5tom]

I agree with you patch. I understand the point you are trying to make, about formula not being improved. Why should formula fed babies not have a perfect formula. In this day and age, you really would think they would have developed something extremely close to breastmilk. So many women struggle, and babies struggle, and things don't work out. My first was formula fed because of a poor latch, and the fact that I hadn't educated myself enough about breastfeeding to know how to correct it. I didn't know about growth spurts and thought she was constantly hungry and that I had a low supply (which I don't think I actually had, seeing as only 5% of women cannot physically produce enough milk) When I moved to expressing I expressed twice a day thinking that would be enough. In hindsight, I just had no clue about breastfeeding which is really awful. My daughter is just as intelligent as others her age, and she certainly didn't suffer because I didn't breastfeed her past 3 weeks.

But like you say Patch, formula isn't a finished product, there is more they can do to improve it and so they should! We shouldn't just accept the risks, there should be no risks xxx

 

[Pearls18]

Breast milk is a live product, you put it under the microscope and it moves, it's full of living cells. Formula is a list of ingredients like food you get from the shops it's made of carbohydrate, protein etc. It will be a very long time before they will have similar properties if even possible, it will cost a lot of money to develop and I doubt it would be cheap to buy, I very much doubt it'll ever be possible, not to the extent breast milk is so individually tailored for that child, that day, that time etc.

It isn't comparable as I say, they're two very different products.

My understanding of formula wasn't that it in itself is risky but just the loss of the advantages in breast milk is what can increase risks? (Unless in an under developed country).

 

[lau86]

Breast milk is a live product, you put it under the microscope and it moves, it's full of living cells. Formula is a list of ingredients like food you get from the shops it's made of carbohydrate, protein etc. It will be a very long time before they will have similar properties if even possible, it will cost a lot of money to develop and I doubt it would be cheap to buy, I very much doubt it'll ever be possible, not to the extent breast milk is so individually tailored for that child, that day, that time etc.

It isn't comparable as I say, they're two very different products.

My understanding of formula wasn't that it in itself is risky but just the loss of the advantages in breast milk is what can increase risks? (Unless in an under developed country).

This is what I wanted to say however I know I can be a bit foot in mouth without meaning to so I was waiting for someone else to say it properly!

 

[jenniferttc1]

I think breast milk will always be better than formula just because it's natural and not man made. Do I think it has all those magical powers? Not from my experience. I nursed my first almost a year and he was always sick! He's had 5 colds3 bugs, the flu and 10 ear infections since December. I had to supplement my second after severe tongue tie and lip tie and a screaming baby on top of a jealous toddler and my newborn had multiple specialist appointments for torticollis, he failed 3 hearing test so had to go to audiologist, a plastic surgeon for his ear defect and has a small heart murmur and formula was easier and convent and the poor child just wouldn't and couldn't not latch with his tongue and lip tie. From experiencing both I feel more free with formula...I actually love it! I don't feel even the slightest guilt over it. It's 2014 and we are so blessed to have formula as an option! Nobody feel bad. It's your body and your baby. I support whatever a mother decides.

 

[mummytobe_93]

I really don't understand why people have the feeding debate. There should be no debate, you either breast feed or formula feed and both are ok, both are choices made from their parents and that is personal to them.
I breastfed my daughter for six months with so many difficulties including latching and also having to exclusively pump for the first two months, and now I feel like my breast feeding journey is coming to an end as she just isn't interested. I feel guilty for stopping and especially as it isn't my choice. I go to baby groups where I see other women breastfeeding their ten month olds etc and I feel guilty and embarrassed to pull a bottle of formula out, I nor any other woman should feel this way.
But I'm glad that I can just go to the shop and buy her formula, she seems happy and content and is thriving on it. Plus it gives me a bit of freedom back so for me I think it's great. And another plus she is sleeping so much better since she started having it!
I think all mothers are doing a great job regardless of how they choose to feed their child, it really is such a small aspect of being a parent

 

[TCK_Runner]

I really don't understand why people have the feeding debate. There should be no debate, you either breast feed or formula feed and both are ok, both are choices made from their parents and that is personal to them.
I breastfed my daughter for six months with so many difficulties including latching and also having to exclusively pump for the first two months, and now I feel like my breast feeding journey is coming to an end as she just isn't interested. I feel guilty for stopping and especially as it isn't my choice. I go to baby groups where I see other women breastfeeding their ten month olds etc and I feel guilty and embarrassed to pull a bottle of formula out, I nor any other woman should feel this way.
But I'm glad that I can just go to the shop and buy her formula, she seems happy and content and is thriving on it. Plus it gives me a bit of freedom back so for me I think it's great. And another plus she is sleeping so much better since she started having it!
I think all mothers are doing a great job regardless of how they choose to feed their child, it really is such a small aspect of being a parent

Couldn't have said it better myself! My daughter is just over 3 months and we have had all sorts of issues with breastfeeding here. She likes it alright and I'm OK doing it because I want her to have good nutrition, but she also likes and takes formula. Given her development thus far I honestly would not be surprised if she started wanting to cut out bf'ing in the next few months and/or start solids (purees) early-ish (4-5 months instead of after 6). I'm trying to go by her cues rather than my own, but I'm totally OK if she ends up choosing formula over my breast (direct) or any of the pumped milk I've been giving her. I'm not going to force it, she'll decide.