'breast is best'...

[BabyMamma93]

UGHHH i am sick of seeing this ALL the time!!
do the people that say this (companies, people on tv etc) not realize there are people out there unable to BF???
people who have medical problems meaning they cant?
it really winds me up, yes we all know breast s best, but for heavens sake!!!
i tried BF in hospital but after many attempt's he just wouldn't latch and wasn't getting enough if i expressed..
i did express for a day and half but my self and midwives were worried he wasn't getting enough. i felt that little bit of BM was better than none, but i wouldn't dream of shouting that breast is best to anyone..

if someone chooses not to BF don't judge them, its their choice. and don't contradict anything to anyone when you don't know the history behind it!!

really riles me up!!

 

[lau86]

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time with it. Be proud of yourself, you gave it a go and were unable to, it's not your fault.
The fact is there are still a lot of people that don't know breast milk is the ideal IF you are able to.

 

[Popples1]

I know what you mean. I get a little upset seeing the breastfeeding posters plastered all over my local children's centre. I've fought really hard for 15 weeks - my LO wouldn't latch and had jaundice at first so he was really sleepy. On day 2 we were put on a feeding plan where I had to express every three hours and top up with ff day and night. Then I got him onto the breast but he didn't gain weight so I had to continue expressing around the clock. Around week 6 he started fighting/getting distressed during feeds and by week 12 (although we've soldiered on) he refuses to latch at all for some feeds. We also had his 50% tongue tie snipped when he was 7 weeks old. It's been an absolute battle from day one and I've been determined to do what I think is best for him by giving him as much breast milk as possible. However, I still feel like I want to explain myself to strangers when I give him a bottle in public. I want to shout 'I did everything I could. You don't know how hard it has been!' because I still feel all this pressure. I really hope I can EBF my next baby if I'm lucky enough to have one. Personally, I think bf'ing IS best but I certainly don't look down on anyone who doesn't. Even people who are blessed with an abundant supply (and oh how I wish I was one of them!) have issues too - I don't know anyone who has found it particularly easy. Sometimes willpower and determination on mama's part just isn't enough - bf takes teamwork and some babies just don't play ball!

 

[BabyMamma93]

aw popples, that must have been horrible, i know i could have done more, but i didnt want to risk him losing weight and becoming ill like the midwives said he might. if i have another baby i will defo try again and hope that time he/she will take, my little boy just wasnt interested!! and im the same whenever anyone asks 'do you bottle feed' and i say yes i feel like i need to tell them why and tell them i did try, if not i get the 'look' x

 

[miraclebaba]

omg, i know how you feel. my friend had a daughter a month before i had my son, i had difficulties breastfeeding, i tried for a month and the baby couldn't latch properly, i was miserable and i turned to her for support and her words were " breast milk is the best" as if i didn't know this, i cried all the time because i felt so guilty giving my son a bottle and now looking back, i feel i made the right choice by ff. my son is healthy and happy...

 

[leigh5tom]

Breast is not 'best'. Breast is normal. It is not best or superior or something amazing, it is the normal way to few a human baby. That's how it should be anyway. 'Breast is best' gives the impression that it is something extraordinary, which it isn't. Like you say, some people can't feed for medical reasons or baby related reasons. Other than that, breast feeding is the normal way to feed, not best.

 

[BabyMamma93]

Breast is not 'best'. Breast is normal. It is not best or superior or something amazing, it is the normal way to few a human baby. That's how it should be anyway. 'Breast is best' gives the impression that it is something extraordinary, which it isn't. Like you say, some people can't feed for medical reasons or baby related reasons. Other than that, breast feeding is the normal way to feed, not best.

i totally agree and the 'breast is best' statement shouldnt be allowed to be used, you cant even read instructions on a tin of formula without feeling guilty your using it. do they not think about the people who have had a real tough time and really wanted to BF and the people who just choose not to shouldnt be made to feel guilty for their choice.
My nana was saying she tried it in hospital with my auntie, she latched on and took her off straight away, she hated the feeling, just couldnt stand it, but the midwifes looked down on her saying she has tried it and baby will take she SHOULD BF.
in hospital i wasnt even given the choice to try BF or just go straight onto formula, my friend who had her baby 9 months ago was asked, she choose formula and wasnt judged on that.. thats the way it should be..
i know many people formula fed and they have no problems then, or now. i was formula fed, didnt have a drop of BM and i have a real good immune system so they cant say it helps immunity to anything really..

wow essay sorry lol x

 

[TCK_Runner]

You know what I hate? When I buy formula here in Germany - which I used for combi feeding in the first month and the last day have been forced to return to, and which in this case is a kind made for combi feeding - the box has printed ALL over it (4!!! of the box sides have the statement on it) that breastfeeding is the best for the baby. That is literally what it says. As if I didn't know that and as if I am buying the formula for the hell of it?! Way to make me feel better marketing people, NOT

 

[Starry Night]

I hate the "breast is best" simply because it makes formula seem like poison. I highly doubt it causes all the horrible things people says it does. Just because breast slightly reduces the risks of certain things doesn't mean formula CAUSES it. It just means formula isn't as effective at reducing the risk.

I wasn't able to BF my son and now I'm combi-feeding my DD and I get heck for that even though I'm mainly BFing. And to be honest, I wish I were FFing. If I felt free to make that choice I would.

 

[patch2006uk]

I dislike the phrase 'breast is best' too, but for slightly different reasons. As has been said, it's not really correct, as breastmilk is biologically normal, not best. The word 'best' does also imply that there's a superiority to the women who do it, which doesbt help women who are looking for support if they're struggling. The whole language of failure, try and best isn't healthy, and doesn't help women and their families at all.

My youngest has been very easy to feed, but we had a million problems with my eldest to get established. I agree that it's a bit of a lottery, and you can't guarantee the baby will play ball and feed nicely!

 

[noon_child]

I dislike the phrase 'breast is best' too, but for slightly different reasons. As has been said, it's not really correct, as breastmilk is biologically normal, not best. The word 'best' does also imply that there's a superiority to the women who do it, which doesbt help women who are looking for support if they're struggling. The whole language of failure, try and best isn't healthy, and doesn't help women and their families at all.

Totally agree. Although I'm not sure what language would work . Tbh I don't think any of these campaigns and messages on formula bottles are targetted towards those who want to bf but can't, but to attempt to change cultural attitudes of people who wouldn't even consider it. However I really think it needs a re-think. So many things in motherhood get turned in to a competition and bf shouldn't be one too!

 

[Popples1]

I still feel awful every time I read that on a formula bottle - major guilt trip even though I don't have a choice!

 

[patch2006uk]

I've said before that an 'every feed counts' message would be more positive. Only managed one feed in the hospital? Fab, because every feed counts. Still BFing your 2 year old? Fab, because every feed counts. Only able to feed once a day because of work or difficulties? Fab, because every single feed counts but 'breast is best' is a horrible phrase with such negative connotations for everyone, however they feed.

 

[noon_child]

I've said before that an 'every feed counts' message would be more positive. Only managed one feed in the hospital? Fab, because every feed counts. Still BFing your 2 year old? Fab, because every feed counts. Only able to feed once a day because of work or difficulties? Fab, because every single feed counts but 'breast is best' is a horrible phrase with such negative connotations for everyone, however they feed.

Excellent! I'm signing up to be a bf peer supporter so I might nick that off you if you don't mind!!

 

[patch2006uk]

I've said before that an 'every feed counts' message would be more positive. Only managed one feed in the hospital? Fab, because every feed counts. Still BFing your 2 year old? Fab, because every feed counts. Only able to feed once a day because of work or difficulties? Fab, because every single feed counts but 'breast is best' is a horrible phrase with such negative connotations for everyone, however they feed.

Excellent! I'm signing up to be a bf peer supporter so I might nick that off you if you don't mind!!

Not at all I can't take credit for it, as I think the phrase has been used by an organisation before, but it's just never stuck in the national consciousness like 'breast is best'. I really think the nhs could do so much with that phrase, but for whatever reason, they don't use it. It's a much nicer message, and I especially like that it can be used to support combi feeding, as they often get left out in a weird neither BFing exclusively nor formula exclusively middle ground and aren't really supported. Especially if they express and don't feed directly-which deserves all the kudos imo, as expressing is hard and no fun.

 

[tristansmum]

I've said before that an 'every feed counts' message would be more positive. Only managed one feed in the hospital? Fab, because every feed counts. Still BFing your 2 year old? Fab, because every feed counts. Only able to feed once a day because of work or difficulties? Fab, because every single feed counts but 'breast is best' is a horrible phrase with such negative connotations for everyone, however they feed.

This is totally how I thought about bf my second! First son I only managed a few days. Second time I wanted to try but was realistic. I combi fed for 10 weeks. Didn't give myself a time limit just each time I bf I thought excellent that's another one.
Breast is not best for everyone... Alot of factors are at play to what is best for you and baby. Personally I didn't enjoy bf at all... I combi fed as the ff feds gave me the break to do another bf later. I ff exclusively once I felt I couldn't do it anymore. If I'd exclusively bf then I'd have been an unhappy mummy.... how is that best?

 

[Starry Night]

I've said before that an 'every feed counts' message would be more positive. Only managed one feed in the hospital? Fab, because every feed counts. Still BFing your 2 year old? Fab, because every feed counts. Only able to feed once a day because of work or difficulties? Fab, because every single feed counts but 'breast is best' is a horrible phrase with such negative connotations for everyone, however they feed.

This is totally how I thought about bf my second! First son I only managed a few days. Second time I wanted to try but was realistic. I combi fed for 10 weeks. Didn't give myself a time limit just each time I bf I thought excellent that's another one.
Breast is not best for everyone... Alot of factors are at play to what is best for you and baby. Personally I didn't enjoy bf at all... I combi fed as the ff feds gave me the break to do another bf later. I ff exclusively once I felt I couldn't do it anymore. If I'd exclusively bf then I'd have been an unhappy mummy.... how is that best?

This is my experience as well. If it wasn't for the occasional bottle feed or even formula top-off after BF I wouldn't be sticking with it at all. I find having formula in the cupboard and bottles ready to go in the fridge are helping to keep me calm and willing to take my time to get DD to latch and feed. I've only been at it 2 weeks and right now can't see myself BFing at all for long term but I figure "every feed counts". I'm trying to be open to changing my mind and sticking with it but today I while I was doing a bottle feed I felt all glowy inside and was so proud of my baby and just cuddled her and felt closer to her than ever. I bond more with the bottle than boob. The other night I sobbed when I "had" to BF again. I was just so tired and I hate it so much. I'm willing to make the sacrifice short term but it underscored I can't exclusively BF.

 

[Popples1]

My LO has point blank stopped latching in the last 24hrs. He just arches his back and cries at my boob. If it weren't for ff, he'd be starving..

 

[Alyssa Drough]

I BF for 3 days, the combi fed up to 3 weeks. Then FF ever since. She had trouble latching on my left breast which meant the right one got really sore and painful. I had to top up with formula cos it was too painful to constantly feed from one breast, which also screwed up my supply. I had one massive boob and one little saggy one!

I didn't fell guilty about switching to formula. I tried and she got a few weeks of breastmilk so I was happy about that.

Although they say 'breast is best', what they don't say is that formula is 'a bloody good substitute'. It seems to me like it implies that formula is vastly inferior and is basically crap, when in fact it's got like 100 years of science behind it to make it as good as it possibly can be.

 

[patch2006uk]

Formula could be improved loads, and I think it's incredibly important that research carries on. Formula fed babies are still about twice as likely to die as breastfed babies, and that's not ok. Formula is a decent substitute for breastmilk, and certainly compared to pap and condensed milk from the early 20th century, we've come miles. But considering modern formula as a completed project and a job well done is premature.

There is also the argument the other way that saying 'breast is best' implies that 'formula is normal' (given that basically no one achieves their 'best' most of the time) and so making breastfeeding sound like something unattainable. It contributes to the 'them and us' mentality that permeates some corners of the media and the internet. It's an all around horrible phrase!