'breast is best'...

[Feathers]

I actually really dislike the pressure to breastfeed! DD had terrible feeding issues, ended up tube feeding because she simply couldn't suck. She needed medication in her food. After a week of expressing I was a wreck. It's not the same waking every 2 hours through the night to fasten on an expressing machine for a baby who isn't even with you. Although they weren't allowed to say it, I could see her doctors thought I'd made the right decision when we went with bottles.
And every time I went to Mummy and Baby meets I was the only one who bottle fed. I hated feeling like I'd let her down, I hated the fact that I was met everywhere with comments about breastfeeding being the best because we couldn't do it. I felt like a total failure as a Mum. Even my own Mum said 'I'd have never let YOU have formula, never ever no matter what.' Uh thanks Mum. No really, make me feel worse about it.

With DS I was determined not to have that pressure to breastfeed. I wouldn't say to the midwives I would DEFINITELY breastfeed no matter what. I wouldn't guarantee that DS wouldn't have a bottle. And when he was born I began to breastfeed and it worked this time. Different children.

But the thing that bothers me most is the way we feel the need to justify the decision to formula feed like I did there explaining DDs situation. Why should I feel the need to explain? Does it matter WHY we choose to bottle feed? Truth is it's no-one elses business at all. There are lots of up sides to formula feeding that breastfeeding doesn't have. I don't think anyone should have to justify their decision with medical reasoning / latch / supply difficulties. Simply stating you chose to formula feed should be enough and I don't think anyone should be allowed to question that decision or make you feel bad about it.

 

[Alyssa Drough]

Twice as likely to die? Not starting a debate. Just curious as to why and how?

I can imagine illness and death occurring from not sterilising or making up feeds properly therefore introducing bacteria. Are we also talking lowered immune system?

Genuinely interested in the facts and figures.

 

[patch2006uk]

I'm out at the moment, but these are the best links a quick search comes up with*
https://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/formula.asp

And from Google*
https://m.aje.oxfordjournals.org/content/123/2/279.short

https://m.pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/113/5/e435.short

Thankfully, death in the first year is uncommon, regardless of feeding method. But if formula were really the best it could be, and a perfect substitute for breastmilk, then there would be no increased risks associated with its use. Formula fed babies are also more at risk of illness, and a greater proportion need hospitalisation to recover from those illnesses.*

It isn't right that babies should have worse outcomes based on their feeding method. Formula manufacturers should be made to be open with their recipes, open with their research and the apparent and proven benefits or risks of what is going into their products. Profit margins shouldn't trump the health of the next generation. Given so many women do struggle with breastfeeding, and so many babies do consume some formula (my eldest, for example, was supplemented for the first 10 days as we had latching problems) it should be the most precious product we make and have access to. Not a point scorer for nestle and danone, and not something that should really be in the hands of stockholders and the free market, imo.*

 

[patch2006uk]

Apologies for the massive tangent. infant feeding is too important to be lost in the crossfire of which is 'best' and the 'mommy wars'. This stuff matters too much to be trivialised x

 

[Popples1]

Wow... Now I feel even worse.

 

[patch2006uk]

The way to change things is through pressure. Contact your MP and demand to know why companies are allowed to get away with it. Knowledge is power-don't believe the marketing that formula is 'closer than ever' to breastmilk. Get in touch with the companies and make your voice heard. No one should have to feel bad for feeding their child. But as women who use formula, you are the customers who can make companies change their behaviours. Don't accept that the status quo is 'good enough'. And please don't think I share this info for any reason than because women and babies deserve better x

 

[Alyssa Drough]

I also think we (society) need to be more open about it. The UK government bans advertisement and promotions on stage 1 & 2 formula. It's like they're shoving it under the carpet and not dealing with the issues and debates.

In the rest of this post, when I say 'they' I mean the government & NHS etc.

Instead of just saying breast is best and hiding formula away from the media - they should instead educate people more. Formula feeding in general is not BAD for your baby. It's an alternative.

There also need to be clearer guidelines on how to use the stuff! When we bought and read our first tub of powder we were so confused! And through family and online forums I've heard a billion different ways of preparing and storing bottles!

People are gonna FF. I don't think a lack of TV ads makes any difference. So if they can't encourage FF at the expense of BF, at least help new mums to understand how to FF safely and properly.

 

[HBGirl]

The twice as likely to die statistic comes from 3rd world countries with poor water sanitisation. Don't feel bad.

 

[patch2006uk]

The twice as likely to die statistic comes from 3rd world countries with poor water sanitisation. Don't feel bad.

It's a statistic from America. Countries with poor sanitation have worse outcomes, especially where formula is watered down to make it last longer.

 

[patch2006uk]

I also think we (society) need to be more open about it. The UK government bans advertisement and promotions on stage 1 & 2 formula. It's like they're shoving it under the carpet and not dealing with the issues and debates.

In the rest of this post, when I say 'they' I mean the government & NHS etc.

Instead of just saying breast is best and hiding formula away from the media - they should instead educate people more. Formula feeding in general is not BAD for your baby. It's an alternative.

There also need to be clearer guidelines on how to use the stuff! When we bought and read our first tub of powder we were so confused! And through family and online forums I've heard a billion different ways of preparing and storing bottles!

People are gonna FF. I don't think a lack of TV ads makes any difference. So if they can't encourage FF at the expense of BF, at least help new mums to understand how to FF safely and properly.

Totally agree about education. There are so many people who prepare formula in an unsafe way because their mom showed them the way they used to do it, or because they don't understand it's the formula that needs to be sterilised, not the water. Breastfeeding needs more support postnatally as it's a skill you have to master. But formula feeding has more of a margin of error imo-temperature, how much, how many scoops per ounce, where to store, whether to pre-make, etc. And that guidance should be easily available, too. A baby's health shouldn't be compromised by poor instructions!

The marketing thing, however, I think is sensible. Babies shouldn't be swapped from formula to formula based on which is on offer or has the best freebies. Formula adverts aren't banned because women who breastfeed would see one and suddenly decide to swap (although perhaps there re some women who are on the fence who might be swayed by offers), but because it's unethical. Like I said earlier, your baby's nutrition is too important to be left in the hands of a marketing department. I think that all formula advertising should be banned. We know it exists, and all brands have to have the same core constituents. Formula is so expensive in order to pay for marketing campaigns!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Ridiculous. No one can tell when baby is older. I honestly dont care what people think of my choices

 

[DecemberWait]

There's really no question that human milk is best for human babies. I tried SO hard to feed my child "the way nature intended" but she lost almost a pound of her birth weight and had very bad jaundice. At first I just started supplementing with formula but eventually my supply dwindled to almost nothing and it would take me an hour to pump 1oz. I got to a point of crying every time I pumped and I decided to give it up. I still mourn that I couldn't BF and not only did I lose that experience but my daughter could not tolerate formula until we found Similac Sensitive Ready to Feed...she had extreme colic from formula until we found this wonderful and sanity saving product. She is now happy and healthy thank God. I still wish I could have BFd but it wasn't meant to be. Feeding has been the bane of my parenting experience but it has gotten better.

With that said I really think mothers make comments without thinking sometimes and people who chastise me for formula feeding have another thing coming. Especially my friend who told me my daughter won't fight illness because she isn't getting BM. Tell that to my brother who had to be formula fed and has never been sick in his life. Every situation is different and parents should think before making holier than thou statements with a condescending attitude.

 

[Dragonfly]

I know I shouldnt be in this section because I breastfeed but I wanted to say I do promote breastfeeding on my pages on facebook and so many breastfeeders also hate the breast is best slogan. It creates some sort of war. Breast is normal, standard way too feed a baby. Formula is alternative, Thats all. No wars. But thats what you get when someone is trying to sell one of them. No offense.

 

[TCK_Runner]

I think what some people forget is that the reason so many babies don't die in their first year anymore is because we have alternative feeding methods besides the breast. I'm not pushing one method or another because for many people in first world countries today it's a non-issue and your choice: breast or formula. Yeah, sure, human milk is the natural/biological way which is tailored to human beings. I wouldn't deny that. But I don't like it when people say it's the way it should and always has been because let's face it - if things were like they were 200 years ago then a lot of our babies would be dead or dying (like they still do in some third world countries) because many of us would have been too poor to afford to hire a wet nurse, which is how they handled the situation in a lot of cases where breastfeeding wasn't possible.

 

[HBGirl]

The twice as likely to die statistic comes from 3rd world countries with poor water sanitisation. Don't feel bad.

It's a statistic from America. Countries with poor sanitation have worse outcomes, especially where formula is watered down to make it last longer.

Then I feel that is sensationalisim. Its not OK to make moms feel bad. We spend enough time feeling guilty as it is.

 

[patch2006uk]

The twice as likely to die statistic comes from 3rd world countries with poor water sanitisation. Don't feel bad.

It's a statistic from America. Countries with poor sanitation have worse outcomes, especially where formula is watered down to make it last longer.

Then I feel that is sensationalisim. Its not OK to make moms feel bad. We spend enough time feeling guilty as it is.

Why should a fact make you feel guilty? I know my eldest is more at risk of asthma because he was born by c-section. I don't like that it's true, but I feel no guilt as it needed to be that way. Is telling people that an incorrectly fitted car seat could kill their baby in a crash simply to make them feel guilty? How about putting a baby to sleep on their front? Those babies are more at risk of sids. But some babies will only sleep that way. Surely anyone would want to know what risks there are associated with certain things, so that they can keep a close eye on the situation. Ignorance doesn't make the risks go away.

 

[tublet]

Sigh yet again, a thread that has made ff mums feel bad.

I am all for bf, tried myself and baby ended up hospitalised due to dehydration so we ended up on formula.

I felt so guilty when we swapped it wasn't an easy decision at all, and having statistics over infant death and illness posted afterwards really didn't help at all. No wonder so many women end up with post natal depression.

Mums only want the best for their baby, and for mine breast wasn't best as I didn't have any milk! I wish we lived in a society where we supported each other and our individual decisions rather than bash each other.

 

[HBGirl]

The twice as likely to die statistic comes from 3rd world countries with poor water sanitisation. Don't feel bad.

It's a statistic from America. Countries with poor sanitation have worse outcomes, especially where formula is watered down to make it last longer.

Then I feel that is sensationalisim. Its not OK to make moms feel bad. We spend enough time feeling guilty as it is.

Why should a fact make you feel guilty? I know my eldest is more at risk of asthma because he was born by c-section. I don't like that it's true, but I feel no guilt as it needed to be that way. Is telling people that an incorrectly fitted car seat could kill their baby in a crash simply to make them feel guilty? How about putting a baby to sleep on their front? Those babies are more at risk of sids. But some babies will only sleep that way. Surely anyone would want to know what risks there are associated with certain things, so that they can keep a close eye on the situation. Ignorance doesn't make the risks go away.

I don't feel guilty about that. I am an EBF mom who feels that touting "scary facts" at FF moms is mean and counter productive.

 

[cherrylips100]

'every feed counts' is a brilliant slogan. There should be a greater emphasis on praising women for trying, not inundating them with pressure if they have to/choose to stop. We know breastfeeding is nutritionally better, we don't need a statistic telling us our babies will be more likely to be an astronaut if they're breastfed thanks.
A happy baby is the most important thing, no matter how theyre fed

 

[Popples1]

Thanks, pp.

I feel miserable enough as it is that my bf journey is over. Being told he's twice as likely to die now is definitely not helpful. I did everything I possibly could to get him to feed from me for 15.5 weeks and having to let it go has been incredibly hard.