Breastfeeding guilt trip at every opportunity?!

[Wannabe Mommy]

As someone who struggles to understand all the reasons why anyone would not breastfeed, can someone enlighten me?

As I understand it, there are those that choose not to breast feed ahead of time for what I can only understand to be selfish reasons (not "ruining" breasts, not wanting to make the time to feed or pump, wanting to sleep longer during the newborn stage, thinking it's "weird" because they think breasts are only sex organs, etc...), and those who struggle with breastfeeding and choose to go the formula route instead of continuing to struggle. Do I think some women give up too early? Absolutely.

Breastfeeding is a struggle for most of us, including myself! I was breastfed until I was 4 and I really never entertained the idea of formula so I pushed and pushed past the pain and the sleepless nights. It did NOT come easily. Now it comes easy and painfree and I am so happy I stuck with it. I wish more women were able to prevail so they could have what I have. But what they do with their body and their child is none of my business.

Breastfeeding is wonderful. It provides benefits that last a lifetime - not just 6 months. It's what nature intended. The campaign is out there because there are cultures and locations that haven't been educated about why breastfeeding is the healthiest way to feed your baby. There are also women that come from generations of formula fed babies that aren't educated about the alternative, and they deserve to be educated. They deserve to have that choice. Many women that desperately want to breastfeed also "dry up" because they were not educated on the proper way to breastfeed and maintain supply. That is heartbreaking to me.

I don't think formula feeders should be shamed...in fact, I think they do that enough on their own, as I don't think they would feel as if it was a guilt trip if they didn't already feel crummy about it on their own.

Formula is an acceptable alternative to breastfeeding, and if you are happy with your decision to formula feed then don't let anything get you down! If you wanted to breastfeed and ended up formula feeding - educate yourself for a different outcome next go around, but know you did the best you could with what you had.

I chose to FF for a variety of reasons.

1) watching my baby scream with hunger on day 2 because she couldn't get any milk from me didn't seem like good parenting, it felt selfish to force her to stay hungry just so I could be Mother Earth and BF

2) I, my brothers and everyone else I know my age were FF and we grew up just fine, no allergies, good health and strong immune systems.

3) my husband was able to feed our newborn which he found to be an amazing bonding experience.

My LG is amazing, she has followed the same height and weight percentile since birth, is meeting/exceeding all milestones and we have a wonderful bond, she stares into my eyes as I feed her a bottle and holds her arms out to me for cuddles all the time.

I feel absolutely no guilt about formula feeding and have been supported by the MW and HVs in my decision.

I do feel the need to point out that I really don't believe FF mums chose to do so to get more sleep, of they do then they must be very disappointed I was making up bottles every hour and a half through the night until 7 weeks and even now at 5.5 months have 2 feeds a night. I demand feed and accept that if my baby is hungry I don't sleep and that's just fine.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

As someone who struggles to understand all the reasons why anyone would not breastfeed, can someone enlighten me?

As I understand it, there are those that choose not to breast feed ahead of time for what I can only understand to be selfish reasons (not "ruining" breasts, not wanting to make the time to feed or pump, wanting to sleep longer during the newborn stage, thinking it's "weird" because they think breasts are only sex organs, etc...), and those who struggle with breastfeeding and choose to go the formula route instead of continuing to struggle. Do I think some women give up too early? Absolutely.

Breastfeeding is a struggle for most of us, including myself! I was breastfed until I was 4 and I really never entertained the idea of formula so I pushed and pushed past the pain and the sleepless nights. It did NOT come easily. Now it comes easy and painfree and I am so happy I stuck with it. I wish more women were able to prevail so they could have what I have. But what they do with their body and their child is none of my business.

Breastfeeding is wonderful. It provides benefits that last a lifetime - not just 6 months. It's what nature intended. The campaign is out there because there are cultures and locations that haven't been educated about why breastfeeding is the healthiest way to feed your baby. There are also women that come from generations of formula fed babies that aren't educated about the alternative, and they deserve to be educated. They deserve to have that choice. Many women that desperately want to breastfeed also "dry up" because they were not educated on the proper way to breastfeed and maintain supply. That is heartbreaking to me.

I don't think formula feeders should be shamed...in fact, I think they do that enough on their own, as I don't think they would feel as if it was a guilt trip if they didn't already feel crummy about it on their own.

Formula is an acceptable alternative to breastfeeding, and if you are happy with your decision to formula feed then don't let anything get you down! If you wanted to breastfeed and ended up formula feeding - educate yourself for a different outcome next go around, but know you did the best you could with what you had.

I'm one of those "selfish" mothers that chose not to breastfeed this baby before he was born. I breastfed my first son for 4.5 months and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. It wasn't "beautiful" and I certainly didn't bond with him. In fact, I began to resent him, which is the main reason I stopped breastfeeding him and switched to formula. I've been formula feeding my newest baby for almost three weeks, and I already have such a strong connection with him.

I hope after reading a few of these responses, you understand why a woman would choose not to breastfeed. Because if more people understood both sides, I don't think there would be "sides" anymore.

 

[Starry Night]

I hate having to justify why I don't BF. Even when the doctor or public health nurse wants to know. I feel like I shouldn't have to justify it. And I wish a simple "It didn't work out" would suffice for other nosy people. Discussing my breasts with people makes me really uncomfortable. Discussing finances with others makes me comfortable because I also get the "but it's so expensive, can you afford it" condescension.

I don't pay attention to the statements on the cans. I mean, obviously they are just there because they have to be. The formula companies want you to buy their formula. I get upset more by random remarks on TV shows. Their was an episode of Community where one character rudely says to another "What, didn't your mother breastfeed you???" to which the other character very sadly replies, "She read it wouldn't make a difference"

And then there was a recent Simpsons episode where Marge took on some Sancti-Mommies and said it was her right to feed Maggie (the baby) a bottle. She said how she had bottlefed her kids and they all turned out OK....except for Lisa (the smart one)....she had breastfed her for 9 months.

All I could think was, "Great, I'm being boob-shamed by The Simpsons now!"

I'm one of those who HATED breast feeding. I hated how it made me feel, I hated the struggle and it made me feel resentful towards my babies. The switch to formula felt like a huge burden was lifted off of me and the sky seemed sunnier. I do regret that BF'ing didn't work out but I don't believe in self-martyrdom either. I already give up a lot for my kids but my sanity is not on the table. I get to keep that, thanks.

I was able to BF my DD for 3 weeks so I feel OK about that.

 

[Gizzyy]

As someone who struggles to understand all the reasons why anyone would not breastfeed, can someone enlighten me?

As I understand it, there are those that choose not to breast feed ahead of time for what I can only understand to be selfish reasons (not "ruining" breasts, not wanting to make the time to feed or pump, wanting to sleep longer during the newborn stage, thinking it's "weird" because they think breasts are only sex organs, etc...), and those who struggle with breastfeeding and choose to go the formula route instead of continuing to struggle. Do I think some women give up too early? Absolutely.

Breastfeeding is a struggle for most of us, including myself! I was breastfed until I was 4 and I really never entertained the idea of formula so I pushed and pushed past the pain and the sleepless nights. It did NOT come easily. Now it comes easy and painfree and I am so happy I stuck with it. I wish more women were able to prevail so they could have what I have. But what they do with their body and their child is none of my business.

Breastfeeding is wonderful. It provides benefits that last a lifetime - not just 6 months. It's what nature intended. The campaign is out there because there are cultures and locations that haven't been educated about why breastfeeding is the healthiest way to feed your baby. There are also women that come from generations of formula fed babies that aren't educated about the alternative, and they deserve to be educated. They deserve to have that choice. Many women that desperately want to breastfeed also "dry up" because they were not educated on the proper way to breastfeed and maintain supply. That is heartbreaking to me.

I don't think formula feeders should be shamed...in fact, I think they do that enough on their own, as I don't think they would feel as if it was a guilt trip if they didn't already feel crummy about it on their own.

Formula is an acceptable alternative to breastfeeding, and if you are happy with your decision to formula feed then don't let anything get you down! If you wanted to breastfeed and ended up formula feeding - educate yourself for a different outcome next go around, but know you did the best you could with what you had.

Sorry, but you are the epitome of a sanctimom.

 

[shreesoni]

I never found myself guilty. I did breastfeeding for my twins for only 2 months because I was finding it difficult to breast feed 2. While feedin one the other used to cry a lot due to which I had no interest in feeding the one with me. Later I just decided I will opt for formula coz I can't see my baby struggling to get their food on time. My babies are 1.5 year old but they are healthy by gods grace. So pls don't feel guilty. Just remember what ever u do your babies need to be comfortable with it.

 

[Melly Belly]

I had every intention of breastfeeding exclusively, before my daughter was born...in the hospital she latched on like a champ, so i thought it would be super easy once we got home....yeah not so much...she absolutely started refusing to latch, no matter what position we were in, and would just scream and scream at me...so i used a small pump that i inherited from my sister in law (never used of course!) and was able to get about an ounce, both sides, after sitting for an hour trying to pump, so i cracked open the formula for supplementing breastfeeding that i got from my OBs office...i bought larger flanges for the pump, still only getting about an ounce and a half in a session...ordered the super ultra mega pump through my insurance...was able to get a whole 2 ounces, even after pumping several times a day. i had been off of my stimulants for my narcolepsy for the past 8 months, and was pretty much feeling like a walking milk zombie, minus the milk apparently..i was so depressed and frustrated with myself at this point..and the anxiety was terrible, so my ob put me on an anti anxiety med...and shared with me that she HATED breastfeeding, that she didnt look forwarded to it with her babies at all...so my husband and i made the decision to go completely to formula, and let me go back on my "makes me a human again" meds...my friend is currently pregnant, and ive already told her, if you can do it, great! if not, dont let anyone make you feel bad for not being able to...because every magazine/website/etc i saw had big articles about breastfeeding, but not much support if it doesnt work out for you...and it doesnt for everyone..and ive finally come to terms that it is nothing to feel bad about

 

[wookie130]

Yup. Ladies, sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. If you want it to work, and keep at it until it does, that's your business. If you want to go to formula feeding, there is, and will NEVER be anything wrong with that. There are no right or wrong ways to feed a baby (and by this, I mean bottle or breast)...so, why must we all conform to one ideal? Breastfeeding is NOT right for EVERYONE. NOTHING is right for EVERYONE, universally. So, let's all just do what we do, and forget the guilt tripping!