Bridesmaid Drama

[lady_p]

Hi it's me again posting a lot today

I have a small daytime wedding with only our mums, dads, siblings, grandparents and I picked one of my best friends and her 2 girls to be bridesmaids.

The rest of the guests are invited to celebrate at night time and will all get a beautiful buffet with little steak pies each and lots of other stuff. I have said people can come to the church if they want or not it's no big drama to me. I just can't afford to feed them all haha.

If I make my wedding any bigger than that I can't afford to get married as I have a very big extended family.

So here is me thinking everyone is happy - nope! One of my childhood friends thinks she should be the bridesmaid and has totally cut me off because I didn't. Deleted me off facebook and everything. Apparently me not asking her means I don't give a crap about her and the fact that she is welcome at the church is not good enough she wants to be at the dinner too!

I am trying to explain that I haven't done anything out of badness just what I can afford. I also think if I invite her other people will wonder why they are not invited too.

I officially hate wedding politics! Thanks if you got this far.

PS prior to this she hasn't even met my 3 month old daughter!

 

[Lauren25]

Wow she sounds like a delightful person, surely friends should be there for each other and support each others decisions!

If I was you I wouldn't bother explaining yourself to her, you shouldn't have to do that! Like you said if you invited her then that would get other people questioning why she's there and they aren't!

She doesn't sound like a friend worth keeping if she can't be happy for you

 

[lady_p]

Thanks for replying I think I will just leave her and if she phones me fine if not I am kinda fed up with her needing to be centre of the universe.

 

[aly888]

I have/had a friend like that. Got the hump when I asked someone else to be BM and not her (I've known them both the same amount of time, but the difference was one came and saw me and my daughter every week, the other moaned that I never made an effort to go see her!!!! Guess which one I chose as my BM?) to the point where she started quizzing my BM at how well she actually knew me
In all honesty, budget aside, why would you want someone that selfish and self-centred to be such a huge part of your wedding day? That was my main reason for not choosing my friend because I worried it would become too much about her and her needs on the day rather than my own. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Haha
I'm sure your friend will come around before the big day. It's really not worth her losing a long friendship over. Or at least I'd hope she sees it that way!

 

[lorpez]

i know exactly how your feeling hun, im getting married in 2 weeks, with my maid of honour flower girl and two 8 year old bridesmaids, i have one friend who has non stop been on my case to be bridesmaid and even text my stb hus asking to be one. she kicked off at my hen do last week to my maid of honour saying that she'd stopped her being bridemade purposely.
ahhhh. i have her daughter being flower girl i thought that would be enough?!?
i cant afford anyone else to be anything, and dnt want to be changing 2 weeks before the big day.
im affraid shes just going to have to deal with it. if i had all the money in the world things may be different but i dnt. i thought friends were meant to be there for you not makee things extremeley difficult and awkard.

 

[lady_p]

Exactly if I had a bottomless budget things would be so different but I cant afford to feed the masses haha x

 

[emyandpotato]

What is she, eight? I am not having any bridesmaids. Too much hassle and I don't see the point anyway as everyone I am inviting is special to us. My sisters were slightly disappointed but not too bothered and none of my friends have even mentioned it! Frankly if anyone did make a fuss, especially if they had not yet seen my baby, I wouldn't bother inviting them let alone have them as a main part of the day.

Oh and my mum got married when I was still flower girl age, and my big sister got married when I was about seven (you know, the exact age when you are desperate to be a bridesmaid) and neither time was I asked to be a part of the wedding and neither time did I make a fuss, let alone act like such a brat as your 'friend' is doing!

 

[Baby France]

Sounds like she's done you a favour by kicking off and deleting you from FB. What kind of 'friend' thinks that she deserves or should be a bridesmaid?

Ultimately it is a blessing and an honour to be a bridesmaid, its just as much as an honour to be a friend to someone and I know that any TRUE friend that really deserved to be a bridesmaid, would not be kicking up a fuss and would just support you in your decision!