bring on baby!! Welcome!!!

[bexxc]

because the baby is still very happy and healthy in there, so there's no medical need. i prefer it that way anyway. if sprout's not ready, sprout's not ready. i just hope s/he will be by this weekend (or sooner).

on a side note, the lady who was monitoring the nst kept calling the baby she...did she just tell us we're having a girl or does she call all babies she???? now i'm all upset that we've gone 9 months waiting for our surprise only to have it ruined in the most awful way

 

[annie00]

Omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm hoping she calls all babies she???

Is she the one who did the ultra sound??

Sweetie I'm so very sorry !!

 

[bexxc]

no...totally different lady from the ultrasound tech. this lady (i don't know if she's a nurse or ma) is the only one at the office that i don't really like.

 

[annie00]

Well then I'm assuming she doest know ..
I highly doubt the ultra sound lady will go back and say Becca is having a girl..
Kwim??

 

[bexxc]

yeah- but she did have my chart/patient file.

 

[annie00]

Right but u really think they would right down the sex?!

Is it normal for a baby to hav mouth open all the time

 

[bexxc]

i'm not sure if they write the sex on your chart...

and i'm not sure if it's normal for a baby to have its mouth open all the time. does it seem like she has a stuffy nose. have you tried a nasal aspirator to see if she's got something in there?

 

[annie00]

She usually has her mouth open when she is sleeping..
Her nose is clear

I'm so scared something is wrong I'm terrifed..

I told lance that last night he said all we can do if something isn't right is accept it and take care of her no different

 

[bexxc]

i don't think mouth breathing is really a sign of anything being wrong...at least i don't see why it would be.

 

[annie00]

How r u feeling today??

 

[annie00]

Bex r u okay? Did u go into labor last night?
I'm getting worried about u

 

[hopestruck]

Good morning my lovelies,

Annie, thank you for the beautiful pictures of Bentlie. She is such a darling. I wish I could meet her (and YOU!) in person. One day we should plan a real-life meet up for the three of us! hehe

Bex - wow! I really hope that wasn't the big "reveal" of Sprout's sex! How irritating! But yeah, maybe that's something she just says for all babies, kind of like how some people call all dogs "he" and all cats "she". Lol. Even Jamie does that- we're pet-sitting a cat (while we're house-sitting here), and he calls the cat a "she" all the time, even though HE is definitely a HE! Who knows. I would consider it still 100% mystery.

Not much to report on my end. Still no bleeding (???) but my bbs seem to be reducing in soreness. I can't believe how sore they have been given how low my beta surely is.

On another note, I had kind of an anxiety attack/breakdown last night. I feel so *unhappy*! I know some of these feelings are stemming from the RPL, but I am having doubts about my career in academia/as a PhD. I've had doubts from the very beginning, and although I keep pushing through, I am really not enjoying it The doubts keep rearing their ugly heads. I'm also reading a book right now called "When the body says no" that's all about how many diseases and health problems can be linked to hidden, internal sources of stress - our bodies get to the point where they shut down in order to enable us to function. I can't help but wonder if I have been growing some deep internal negativity that is making my body an inhospitable place. I'm not blaming myself, but I do feel a constant internal stress and feeling that things just aren't right... I dunno. I feel like I need a life change.

 

[hopestruck]

Annie - just saw your post - huh! I will check on Bex's facebook

 

[annie00]

Yea I'm getting worried about her.. It's not like her not to have popped in already this morning..

Sweetie if u don't like what ur majoring in then u need to reconsider bc I know if u don't like ur job u dread it everyday and ur going to be misserable!!
So just look at other options ...
Maybe just a rn what b better for u !?? Hell I dunno just talking.. Lmao..

I'm bout to go run to dollar store my first trip along with bentlie and I'm gonna put my hand on her head bc I'm scared its going to fall in the covers on her chest n smoother

 

[hopestruck]

Well I checked in on her journal and they are all speculating that she's in labour too. Crazy times!! Fingers crossed everything is going OK.

Rn, you mean like a nurse? I am actually thinking about doing something related to healthcare. I have been interested in health care and especially natural health/holistic health/healing for a long time. My experiences with RPL make me think that I want to be able to help people like myself or with infertility. I am looking at acupuncture programs. Problem is that they are 3 years and no schools where we live, so we would have to move. I'm so tired of school

Have fun on your trip to the dollar store! I'm sure that everything will be fine. You have a good carseat for Bentlie right?

 

[bexxc]

hi girls! sorry. i had a really hard time sleeping last night, so i forced myself to stay in bed no matter how much my hips hurt. i'm worried i'll go into labor on no sleep!

annie- love your new ticker!!!!

hope- sorry you're having doubts about school/career. i went through a phase where i was sure i had chosen the wrong profession and it was a really hard time in my life. i stuck with it and everything turned out okay for me. i'm not say that your feelings should be dismissed- just that i know how you're feeling right now.

 

[hopestruck]

Sorry you had a rough sleep, hun! I did too, but for different reasons. Are you feeling at least somewhat rested after trying to sleep in?

Yes, it is frustrating. I really just can't get these doubts out of my head about academia. It is such a high pressure field, and I just don't find myself excited by the work anymore. I really want to be able to do something where I can interact with people all the time, and feel like I'm making a difference in people's lives. If you don't mind me asking, what were you doubting about teaching?

 

[bexxc]

it's hard to even put into words how i was feeling. i guess i was just feeling really disillusioned. like most things in life that you work toward, there can be major let downs when you actually get there because it's never like you expect it to be. i had such a hard time coming to grips with that. a lot like you're probably feeling, it really seemed like what i was doing wasn't going to make a difference in the long run- mostly because of the student population i work with. i started having panic attacks on the way to work every day that i'd just put myself tens of thousands of dollars into debt for something i wasn't meant to be doing and now i had no choice but to keep going because what else was i going to do?

 

[hopestruck]

Yes, I can definitely relate to those feelings What student group do you work with? How did you get through it? Sorry for all the questions...

 

[bexxc]

the community where i work has a very high population of migrant farmworkers and english language learners. many of my students are living in poverty and/or come from broken homes. as i'm sure you know, statistically, the chance for these students becoming successful in the long term is much lower than students who are raised in more affluent areas. i also had difficulty communicating effectively with parents because of the language barrier...and my vision an experiences in education just didn't match up with theirs. i had to really make an effort to change my thinking a lot about my students and their community. i had to learn that i couldn't force them to fit into my outlook. i had change my way of thinking and teaching and learning to fit into how they learn. and i learned spanish. that helped A LOT! it actually took a lot of work because it wasn't simply accepting that people and families and communities are all different- i had to learn to survive and work within that. it's been a crazy learning experience.