Calling all Donor Sperm/Insemination Buddies!!!

[Cppeace]

That's wonderful news Waypast. I hope it all works out. Enjoy

 

[Hopeful Cat]

Hi ladies, my baby girl was concieved with donor sperm because my husband has azoospermia. She is almost 1 and we love her to bits!! Hope you all get success stories ☺ we are getting ready to start again and have a frozen embryo waiting. We've used an unknown donor through our ivf clinic

 

[Aleriya]

We are using donor sperm, because we are a same-sex couple. Our egg retrieval is set for May 15th. I didn't get to read all the forum posts, but I would naturally assume donor sperm to be highly viable since it has passed all the screening.

Those of you who used donor sperm, when you look at the child do you ever wish you knew the donor? We went with identifiable as that is what is required here. I personally wish I could spend time and have a chat with the donor. As where my partner prefers that we don't know the donor.

Another question, did your clinic suggest that you start telling your child as young as 2 that they are a child of a donor? There was this whole counselling session we had to sit through. I'm still not sure how you would work that into a conversation with a 2 year old.

Thanks!

 

[Hopeful Cat]

I talk to my girl about donor background now and again...i think it helps to start well before they can understand so that you can get it sorted in your own head and it feels more natural. I do not wish to know our donor, there is curiosity but no desire to ever meet unless my baby wants that.

 

[DeuceMom]

deleted

 

[mangotango]

We are using donor sperm, because we are a same-sex couple. Our egg retrieval is set for May 15th. I didn't get to read all the forum posts, but I would naturally assume donor sperm to be highly viable since it has passed all the screening.

Those of you who used donor sperm, when you look at the child do you ever wish you knew the donor? We went with identifiable as that is what is required here. I personally wish I could spend time and have a chat with the donor. As where my partner prefers that we don't know the donor.

Another question, did your clinic suggest that you start telling your child as young as 2 that they are a child of a donor? There was this whole counselling session we had to sit through. I'm still not sure how you would work that into a conversation with a 2 year old.

Thanks!

Aleriya- good question! I look at our daughter who is 2 now and rarely think of her as anything other than my husband's. Sometimes I say a prayer and thank that the donor gave us this amazing child and I do wonder what he is like because she is AMAZING and smart and I'm sure some of it comes from him- although she does have a lot of me! LOL Unfortunately we didn't get back to our donor bank soon enough so we never purchased extra vials and are going through this again with a new donor- with much more trouble this time.

As for telling our daughter- our clinic psych has really pushed us to tell her and I find no reason to at this point...how DO you tell a 2 year old? Also for us, not many people know my husband has sperm issues (zero sperm) so we don't want her running around like a2 or 3 year old does saying things about sperm and letting our secret out to everyone- which is very private. At this point we don't barely think about it being from a donor- because she is our child.

 

[twomomstobe]

How did you all find donors? We are located in the United Kingdom!

 

[Savasanna]

We used frozen sperm from a cryobank. For a while we also had a known donor - but it was my wife's brother so that's how we found him.

I know in the US there's a known donor registry - I have mixed feelings about it but I know of at least one person on these boards who used that to find their donor.

 

[Rags]

We are using donor sperm, because we are a same-sex couple. Our egg retrieval is set for May 15th. I didn't get to read all the forum posts, but I would naturally assume donor sperm to be highly viable since it has passed all the screening.

Those of you who used donor sperm, when you look at the child do you ever wish you knew the donor? We went with identifiable as that is what is required here. I personally wish I could spend time and have a chat with the donor. As where my partner prefers that we don't know the donor.

Another question, did your clinic suggest that you start telling your child as young as 2 that they are a child of a donor? There was this whole counselling session we had to sit through. I'm still not sure how you would work that into a conversation with a 2 year old.

Thanks!

Hello, I have an amazing 7 year old son thanks to an unknown donor. I am a solo parent. When I had my confirmation of conception scan I asked if the donor had provided any information to be passed on and was given a note of his height, weight, hair and eye colour as this was all he wanted recipients to know - he will be traceable when Ds is 18. When Ds was born I briefly worried that I wouldn't 'recognise' him and that his features would all come from the unknown side of his gene pool, I needn't have concerned myself - my family are all blond with blue eyes, the donor had brown hair with brown eyes, Ds is copper haired with hazel eyes like my mums (the only person in the family to have them). His mannerisms and expressions have developed from seeing myself and my family on a daily basis so from very early on I realised I only saw the things I recognised in him, anything that I can't attribute directly to my gene pool I just think of as being him.

As far as Ds knowing how he came about, I always intended to be open with him, I wanted his conception to be normal to him and not some big revelation when he was older. As it was Ds first asked about how babies got into your tummy when he was only about 2 and a half - I took his cue and explained that a baby was made there, when he came back to me a couple of weeks later to ask 'how' I explained that 'two seeds bump together and each has half the information for making a baby...' (we'd grown veg from seed that summer so he understood the principle of seed to plant etc). As the weeks went by he continued to ask more questions reaching the 'where do the seeds come from' question quite quickly. I told him that baby girls are born with their seeds in them and the other one comes from a man and that in many cases the man is the babies father but that in his case a very generous man had left some of his seeds at a hospital for people who might need to get them from there because they didn't have another way of getting them. As time has gone on our vocabulary has changed, he now knows eggs and sperm, male and female genitalia, menstruation, stages of fetal development etc, it's a normal part of his life and he can ask me at any time for more information.

 

[KPeakey]

Hope it's ok for me to join in. Me and my wife are currently experiencing our first 2WW with known donor sperm. We've always intended to be upfront with our hopeful child as it's fairly obvious that we had to procure sperm from somewhere. We went known donor because we wanted to be able to give our child any answers necessary. We also are very lucky to know a wonderful man who doesn't want to be involved. I fully appreciate this isn't the case for everyone and that for many couples/people the idea of known donor just doesn't sit right. It's a really personal decision on an individual basis.

Rags, what a beautiful explanation you gave of your feeling on raising a donor conceived child. It really puts my mind at rest, knowing I won't have any biological links to my child. The way you explained his conception to him is fantastic, and I really hope to use similar cues.

It's really great to talk to others in a similar boat, so hi all!

 

[Rags]

Thank you KPeakey. I know that it's daunting at times but honestly, once you are holding your gorgeous baby that's the only thing that matters, how you got her/him is irrelevant. I wish you a speedy and successful TWW, I look forward you hearing how you get on.

 

[WayPastReady]

Hi Ladies!

DH and I are restarting our journey to conceive this month with our known donor. I conceived on the second cycle at the beginning of the year, but unfortunately miscarried. Hoping I conceive just as quickly this time and will be starting progesterone suppositories as soon as I ovulate to help this one stick!

This month we officially hit the 3.5 year mark of TTC. How depressing. Whenever I think about how long it's been, I always have a moment of "I can't believe this is my life." Guess the only thing I can do is just keep pushing forward till I get my rainbow baby.

 

[Savasanna]

Good luck, waypast! Sorry to hear about your mc this year, I hope your journey brings you your little one quickly.

My wife and I found an amazing book that describes conception in a neutral (and young age appropriate) way. It focuses on the medical side of things rather than the “mother/father” story. We plan on circulating it into our daughters books from a young,toddler age. It’ll work for both our kids, who came into our family in their own way (one adopted from foster care and one conceived through donor sperm). I can let you know what it is if anyone is interested!

 

[veganmum2be]

I would love to know about that book savasanna!

I ordered a book about baby joining family for my son online hoping for the best and of course it's all 'mummy and daddy!'

 

[WayPastReady]

I would love to know the name of the book! It definitely sounds like it will be beneficial for our family as well.

I'm on cd12 and took my second opk this morning...negative but getting closer. The cycle I conceived, I got a donation the day before and the day after my positive opk. I'm trying for the same timing this cycle since I'm not sure which donation was the winning one. Timing for the day before the positive opk is mostly a guess though, so we'll see how it turns out. I'm hoping to at least get a donation the day of and the day after my positive opk.

 

[Rags]

Have any of you look at the library section of the Donor Conception Network? https://www.dcnetwork.org/catalog/books-and-pdfs

There are loads of books on there which cover lots of different family make ups and also regarding talking to other family members as well as children.

 

[WayPastReady]

Thanks Rags! I'll definitely check that out.

 

[WayPastReady]

Got my today on 11dpo!

I'm over the moon excited and hoping for a sticky bean this time! I'm taking 200mg progesterone this go round just in case that was the problem before.

I ordered a "Hello Daddy" onesie and printed out a cute pregnancy poem to surprise dh with. I put them in a padded envelope, then put it in the mailbox, and asked him to go check the mail once he got home. He keeps saying how excited he is and said he wasn't surprised cuz it happened so quickly before with the donor. I feel bad that he has to deal with the fact that he hasn't been able to get me pregnant in 3.5 years, but I'm glad that he was on board with us going this route and that we were able to make the best out of a difficult situation.

 

[veganmum2be]

Congratulations!!

 

[Rags]

Fabulous! Many, many congratulations to you both!