Calling all working mummys... how do you cope?

[Nimbus]

How do you fellow working mummys cope? I've only been back a couple of days and i'm all over the place, weeping at the thought and mention of my little boy... is anyone else like this? I know that he is safe with our childminder, but i just miss the time with him and the freedom of that time with him. I'm a teacher so my time at home is not really my own during term time and we've only just started so i know that it's going to get more stressful. (i'm not complaining, i generally love my job despite the time it eats up and i certainly enjoy the holidays) I just don't know how i'm going to cope.

One of my collegues was being lovely with me today, but i had to tell her to clear off (in a nice way) as i was getting upset and i had a 30 strong class of 15 year olds due in a couple of moments and i was already blubbing. The fact that i've only managed to see my boy for a couple of hours in the last few days is so tough

At what point am i likely to feel less tearful, more rational and less guilty? Please tell me that it gets better.

 

[Mrs Dot]

Hi hun, I too have gone back this week and I am a teacher but not in a school, so luckily don't have to take much work home with me. I am finding it really hard thinking that I only have best part of an hour in the morning and perhaps 1hr 30 or so at night when I get home with him before bed.

I have found it hard this week, but I keep thinking of the positives to get me through. Luckily he has settled in really well at nursery, he hasn't cried or anything, I guess because we're not at the separation anxiety stage yet , it's better that he is in childcare so young. He loves it and the nursery nurses were all cooing over him so he has won them over already! he will be more socialble as he grows older as he is interacting with other kids all day and doing so many new activities too.

He has started to eat a wider variety of food too already at nursery and sleeps so well when he goes to bed!

You have to remember that to provide the best for your lo you have to work. If money were no object then, yes, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to give up work and become a sahm, but I'm not that lucky! Our lo's will develop an understanding that you don't get anything for free in this world, and develop respect for the things they have when we explain when they are older that to have nice things you have to work hard for them.

I have found it easier if we're super organised the night before then it makes life so much easier, and being a teacher I'm sure that you are fab at this anyway?! Also I know that the people I work with have not mentioned it at all to avoid me thinking about it, which may sound harsh, I know they are aware of it, but after the first few welcome backs from everyone, we're just getting on with it and it seems more normal!

Once we're in a routine we'll be fine hun - bit of a shock to the system too after all that nice maternity leave! hugs xxx

 

[Nimbus]

Thanks so much for your kind words of wisdom. Today has been a joy, i'm enjoying the weekend with him, although he's got little things that seem new, little mannerisms that i don't recognise, and that's something that i'll have to get used to.

I do need to settle into a new routine. I need to make sure that i'm confident with it all as he'll pick up on it otherwise andf that'll make it more tough than it needs to be.

Had a blub int he staffroom following a message from our Child minder, a lovely pic of him chomping on little bit of pear, but he's never had that with me... cue tears of jealousy. That's all it is and although i know she's not tryingt o compete with me i act like she is. Must work on that one

Sounds like your babe is settling well!

 

[Seity]

I think it helps that he stays at home with his daddy, so I don't worry about him when I'm at work. I also have a picture of him on my wall and a picture of him as the background on my computer.

 

[sb786]

Yes i know how you feel. Its my first week back too, also a secondary school teacher. My husband has Aliza during the day until i get home so i guess that helps a little knowing she is with her daddy.
I have done a lot of long term planning and have ensured that i am getting all my work done in my free periods at school. So this means that i have virtually no work to do at home now and as soon as the bell goes at the end of the day i am out of there super fast and usually home for 3.15 to enjoy the rest of the day with my princess.
It is difficult and upsetting but i keep telling myself that i have to work but its all for her.

 

[Jchihuahua]

I'ma teacher too hun and went back full time in June when she was 6 months old. The first week was one of the most horrendous weeks I have ever had (ofsted on my 2nd day back as well as being heartbroken over leaving Daisy, feelings of awful guilt, worrying about how and when I would be able to express milk as I BF) but things do get easier. By the third week back I was well into the swing of things and I have got much better at prioritising. I get up earlier in the morning to spend time with Daisy before work and I work through my lunchtimes. I literally work every single second I'm at school and if I do have to take work home I do it after she's gone to bed but when I get home and she's still awake I focus my entire attention on her and make the time we have together the best quality time possible. The staff at my school all stay at school really late and get there really early and I sometimesfeel like a slacker as I don't stay late anymore, I go as soon as I possibly can, but at the end of the day Daisy is my priority and spending some time with her every day is the most important part of my day.

 

[bluebaby]

I went back to work a few weeks ago and finding it hard. We get up at 7 and i take her straight to my mums and i don't pick her up again until 5.30 and she is in bed for 6.30. So i'm going from spending all day with her to only spending an hour with her.

The good thing is at the moment she is with my mum (doesn't start nursery until December) and I like my work.

I'm finding myself being really tired all the time and finding it hard to fit in housework around work and Madelyn.

 

[Racheldigger]

It does get better, and faster than you think. The first day my LO was at nursery and I at work, I spent much of the day weeping into my keyboard, and phoned the nursery twice just to ask how she was. The second day, I only phoned once, and after that, I was brave and didn't contact them at all! If your LO is obviously happy in his/her day care, even though you'll never quite stop missing them, you do adapt to the situation within a week or two.

 

[tinkerz23]

I was home with LO until she turned a little over 5 months. I did not want to leave her and go back to work. I have a Promethean board in my classroom so I keep her picture on it. It makes me feel better that I can look at it and my students enjoy seeing new pictures of her!

 

[loopdido]

put it this way - you really appreciate your weekends! And don't want to waste them cleaning and doing washing! lol.

I wish i lived closer to work so that DH could bring Mirren to see me at lunch! lol.

 

[DottyLottie]

At some point, you just get used to it and you cope. I am not sure there is a magic formula It is a horrible wrench, but gets easier.
I only see my LO from 6-8am and then 5:20-7pm when she goes to bed, it's tough, but we have a routine now, and I have to say, I appreciate my time with her so much more than I did when I was a stay at home home.

 

[Nimbus]

Seity - the photo is ready to go up tomorrow. Thanks for the tip

 

[Nimbus]

I'ma teacher too hun and went back full time in June when she was 6 months old. The first week was one of the most horrendous weeks I have ever had (ofsted on my 2nd day back as well as being heartbroken over leaving Daisy, feelings of awful guilt, worrying about how and when I would be able to express milk as I BF) but things do get easier. By the third week back I was well into the swing of things and I have got much better at prioritising. I get up earlier in the morning to spend time with Daisy before work and I work through my lunchtimes. I literally work every single second I'm at school and if I do have to take work home I do it after she's gone to bed but when I get home and she's still awake I focus my entire attention on her and make the time we have together the best quality time possible. The staff at my school all stay at school really late and get there really early and I sometimesfeel like a slacker as I don't stay late anymore, I go as soon as I possibly can, but at the end of the day Daisy is my priority and spending some time with her every day is the most important part of my day.

Gosh, ofted is tough enough without it being your first week back. My line manager has realy high expectations of me, and i keeps mentioning how it's good to have me back as i'm so dedicated etc. i still plan to be the best teacher i can, but more importantly i'm def going to be the best mummy i can. I think they already think i'm a slacker - perhaps i'm projecting that. The thought of tomorrow brings tears to my eyes, but yes if i get up early and work hard during the day it'll be so much more pleasant at home. Having said that my hubby is doing a gtp this year so i guess we'll have text books and worksheets everywhere anyway!

How do you manage to get your work done and express? It's been tough trying to fit in a break time pump so far (i've been back a week already), and if i leave it until lunch then i'm fit to burst!

 

[Nimbus]

I went back to work a few weeks ago and finding it hard. We get up at 7 and i take her straight to my mums and i don't pick her up again until 5.30 and she is in bed for 6.30. So i'm going from spending all day with her to only spending an hour with her.

The good thing is at the moment she is with my mum (doesn't start nursery until December) and I like my work.

I'm finding myself being really tired all the time and finding it hard to fit in housework around work and Madelyn.

oh my, the housework... that really hasn't happened! I have to laugh or i would cry as my hubby just doesn't see the mess building up as he makes more piles of things. ahhhhh!

 

[Jchihuahua]

I'ma teacher too hun and went back full time in June when she was 6 months old. The first week was one of the most horrendous weeks I have ever had (ofsted on my 2nd day back as well as being heartbroken over leaving Daisy, feelings of awful guilt, worrying about how and when I would be able to express milk as I BF) but things do get easier. By the third week back I was well into the swing of things and I have got much better at prioritising. I get up earlier in the morning to spend time with Daisy before work and I work through my lunchtimes. I literally work every single second I'm at school and if I do have to take work home I do it after she's gone to bed but when I get home and she's still awake I focus my entire attention on her and make the time we have together the best quality time possible. The staff at my school all stay at school really late and get there really early and I sometimesfeel like a slacker as I don't stay late anymore, I go as soon as I possibly can, but at the end of the day Daisy is my priority and spending some time with her every day is the most important part of my day.

Gosh, ofted is tough enough without it being your first week back. My line manager has realy high expectations of me, and i keeps mentioning how it's good to have me back as i'm so dedicated etc. i still plan to be the best teacher i can, but more importantly i'm def going to be the best mummy i can. I think they already think i'm a slacker - perhaps i'm projecting that. The thought of tomorrow brings tears to my eyes, but yes if i get up early and work hard during the day it'll be so much more pleasant at home. Having said that my hubby is doing a gtp this year so i guess we'll have text books and worksheets everywhere anyway!

How do you manage to get your work done and express? It's been tough trying to fit in a break time pump so far (i've been back a week already), and if i leave it until lunch then i'm fit to burst!

The feeling that people will think you're a slacker is quite hard to deal at first. I really felt self conscious as I was walking out of school at half 3 while I knew everyone else would be there til at least 5 and I used to hope nobody would see me leaving but now I hold my head up high and hope they'll appreciate my life has changed and Daisy comes first. Expressing is hard going. I only have my classroom cupboard to express in and I have got to the point where I only need to express once (at the beginning of lunchtime) to stop myself feeling too engorged. My supply has regulated quite quickly, although I'm lucky because even though i get engorged I never leak milk so havent had to worry about that. By the time I get home though I can't wait to get Daisy to drain my poor boobs!!

Anyway hun, have a good day back tomorrow. There is a teacher mums chat thread in the groups section too if you havent come across it yet .

 

[Seity]

My employer is required to provide me with time and a suitable place to pump. As for cleaning the house I have a stay at home husband and I still manage to spend my weekends cleaning everything that didn't get done during the week. I appreciate how hard it is to look after a baby, but he also managed to read 3 books and play countless hours of Starcraft II this week.

 

[Aunty E]

Hmm, any chance of changing bedtime? Mog gets up at seven for her bottle and change and is dropped at the CM's house for eight. I pick her up at six and she doesn't go to bed until nine. My CM gets her to have two naps a day, which add up to about three/three and a half hours but she's always been a nine o clock baby. So I feel like I have plenty of time with her which I wouldn't if she went to bed at seven thirty.

Expressing is a toughy - Mog was completely FF by the time I went back, and I don't think I would have managed to express for her as well as do my job, it would have been one more pressure. Sounds like the old bbs regulate themselves a bit to make it easier for you, so fingers crossed that happens

Housework wise, I make sure I tidy Mog's toys away straight away after she goes to bed (five minutes or so), do a quick scan of the ground floor to tidy stuff/put dirty dishes in the dishwasher and sometimes I run the hoover round for five minutes. Then I wash up and wash all of her bottles (it probably helps not having to sterilise anymore) and generally pop a load of washing on. If the bin needs emptying, I do it then too. So the house is pretty tidy and we have clean bottles within half an hour of bedtime and I can relax very happily then.

I tidy bedrooms as I'm getting ready for bed, and put the dry laundry away at the same time (our dryer is upstairs, which is quite handy). I clean something in the bathroom before or after every shower, so it all gets cleaned by the end of the week at least once. I try to leave the big stuff, like proper hoovering, mopping, window cleaning, mowing the lawn, and other stuff like that, for the weekend when Mog is napping. When OH is around, it's much easier, but he works away from home a lot so I mostly do the housework myself.