Can anyone relate to this? (Worried about havin a boy)

[mrscookie]

my husband is a big rugby player, and told me before we even ttc that he would love a boy to take with him to watch his daddy play rugby, and would buy him the latest rugby kits etc, he is also a motor bike/car fanatic and loves watching car shows on tv and even going to the NEC to the bike shows etc and he wanted a son to share these things with. When we finally did concieve and found out she was a little girly, I told him that there is absolutely no reason why he can't do these things with her, she may not like rugby and that is her decision to make when she is older, but showing her what daddy loves to do and help her develop an interest in it too is great. I will be baking and showing her how to make things creatively, and also other things I enjoy doing and hubby will be doing the same. I dont think there will be any differences whether she was male or female to join in with activities specified to one gender. She will make her own decision one day on what she likes to do and I will support her all the way
Treat your son like an individual, not a gender
xxxxxxx hope you feel better soon babe xxxxxxxx

 

[dizzy duck]

I understand where you are coming from. You will love this little boy with all your heart and see him as a individual not a sex. I hope all goes well. Merry Christmas and take care XX

 

[Shifter]

she may not like rugby and that is her decision to make when she is older,

And absolutely the same goes for a boy

 

[samantha_sarah]

My OH wanted a boy and was a bit off at first, he just wasnt too sure how to 'handle' a girl and was worried about the future periods, sex, first boyfriend things! Hes also a motorsport and car fanatic!

Girls run in both our familys though so it would of been nice for a bit of a change as when i told my family i was expecting a girl they were less excited then they would have been if ruby was a boy. But yes deep down i think i am starting to realise that i always knew i would be more comfortable with a girl saying that my mum warned me that girls tend to be more moodier lol!

That thread i wrote about people being ungrateful 'IMO' was about people who were resentful about having a boy and not wanting them not people who were a bit dissapointed or are geniunly scared.

I do believe what alot of the women have said on here about how you will learn to know your child.

Its always good to remember aswell that your next child could well be a girl!

Take Care x

 

[Sarahkka]

My husband and I were both hoping for a girl, initially, but we adjusted pretty quickly. One of the first things we did after the ultrasound was head to a toy store and play with some of the toys that my brothers loved when they were little. It helped me get excited really quickly!
Having said that, I tend to resist a lot of the gender stereotypes because I think they can be really damaging to kids. I plan to make sure that my son has a dolly to look after so that he learns to nurture and be gentle and caring, and lots of fun building toys (like blocks and lego) so that he learns to explore and problem-solve, And I would do the same for a daughter.
It's the same with baby's room: just lots of bright colours and fun pictures to look at - no gender themes for me.

 

[LaDY]

When i was pregnant i didn't really prefer to have one sex over the other but for some reason i always imagined myself with a girl...i was always raised with other females around me so i guess i just thought i would have one. To my suprise i was having a boy...i was just as happy but i had never been around boys...however now he is here it has all come so naturally and if anything now i cannot imagine having a little girl...

Im sure you will be fine hun xx

 

[soliloquise]

First of all, I know some people aren't happy that some people want girls and feel we're being ungrateful, but please don't judge me I'm really struggling with this.

I found out a few days ago that I'm having a boy. I'd really hoped for a girl. Now of course I'm over the moon that my baby is healthy and growing well but I'm really struggling to accept it.
Since I was little I'd always imagined having a baby girl, dressing it in pretty dresses, taking it to ballet classes and generally being able to relate to her well, helping her throuh puberty and relationship issues.
I don't feel I know much about boys. I'm worried I won't be able to be a good mum because I don't understand enough about how boys minds work, or the issues they face (such as the feeling of needing to be macho and needing to be a breadwinner.)
I have mental health problems which cause a difficulty in understanding things and realising the way things really are, and I have no doubt this is contributing to how I'm feeling. I guess I should get some help before the way I feel gets out of hand but I feel so silly. There's so many people who can't have children and who take years and years to conceive, and I feel so guilty for feeling this way when these people would be so grateful of a child regardless of the sex, but that really doesn't stop me feeling this way.

It all boils down to the fact I had a bad childhood and want to do the absoloute best for my child. But how can I do this if I don't understand him emotionally?

And then there's the really stupid things, like how do you change a boys nappy without him weeing everywhere? If I do activites like painting drawing/ teach him to do housework, will he grow up to be too girly and get bullied at school? If he does get bullied, do I tell him to stand up for himself or go and tell the teacher?

I know some of it is silly and way in the future, but I'm just really scared I won't be a good mum.

the fact that you are asking these questions shows you are going to be a great mum i think ! either gender.. just love it. teach it to respect others, be kind in the world and you will be just fine. the way i see it having a boy means you can teach it to respect women and not be a dick like so many men are lol... that is a powerful thing. you will be great !

 

[tmr1234]

i have a little boy and when we found out well we know from the 1st day i found out i was preg that it would be a boy but when i had my scan and they seid it was a boy i was thinging all the same things as i have only grown up with girls and really didnt know what to make of it but as sson as i seen him i feel in love he is 4 now and he tells me he loves me give kisses and cudlles and tells me iam the best mummy in the world all the time. my sister has a lillt girl and she wnt give kisses or cudlles say love u or owt i really thing boys are more loving to mummys then girls. as for cahnging nappesy it is a lot easyer than girls as u have to wach wich way u wipe and girls get a lot lot more nappy rash than boys and can easy get infc from having a nappy on to long.

every new mum is scaerd untill u see ur baby!!! belive in ur self u will be brill.

 

[Logiebear]

I have an 11 yr girl and 3 and 1 yr old boys and let me tell you my drama queen is not to be envyed. Don't you remember how hormonal and stroppy we were as teenage girls!! Think yourself lucky that boys only think of one thing lol

Toi be serious though I always wantd boys and girls and I have never had problems with the sex of my babies but just worried about raising them as individuals. I think it is wrong to classify a baby based on their sex because boys and girls are different. Maybe your son will grow up to be gay but it doesn't mean that you shouldn't teach him to be clean and care for himself just in case, if you know what I mean. Don't be afraid of raising hiim as an individual and the bon of mother and son is an extra specail one. No girl will ever be good enough for my boys and they will grow up to treat women right and repect themselves and others around them. This is the same thing I will be teaching my daughters.

So boy or girl, it doesn't matter. They are all individual and you will learn to love him as a person not just a boy!

 

[Wobbles]

I just don't 'do' dresses or pink

Me either poppeteer. If we have a little girl she will most likely be dressed in little dungarees and chunky knitted jumpers and be taken to get her first pair of Doc Martins when she's five

I *NEVER* did pink *NEVER did 'girly' EVER EVER EVER!

Now all I have is pink purples fairies and GIRLY things lol I still get the odd dig about it on here from those who know me quite well! lol

 

[Logiebear]

I just don't 'do' dresses or pink

Me either poppeteer. If we have a little girl she will most likely be dressed in little dungarees and chunky knitted jumpers and be taken to get her first pair of Doc Martins when she's five

I *NEVER* did pink *NEVER did 'girly' EVER EVER EVER!

Now all I have is pink purples fairies and GIRLY things lol I still get the odd dig about it on here from those who know me quite well! lol

I am exactly the same. My wardrobe is mostly black, I dislike the colour pink on me and wouldn't wear anything remotely pink but I have lots of pink for our little girl and my 11yr old daughter loves girly things. My boys like cars and trains and that's fine by me lol

 

[mama2b]

I can totally understand why you feel this way.

I had always said I would prefer boys because i do not get on with my mum at all, I hated her when I was growing up and we don't get on now. I was scared of having a girl as I didn't want to have the same relationship as I have with my mum.

If it makes you feel any better I have no experience of boys or girls ! Im an only child and don't really come into contact with many babys or children so its all new to me regardless of the sex

 

[Janedoe]

Mama2b You have summed my feelings up exactly! I was raised by my dad with two brothers so relate better to men. I look at having girls as fates weird way of helping me come to terms with having no mother in my life and to learn how to act like a female. Im also going to make sure they get the mothers love I never had as my mum hated us so much she left all of us when I was 7. I also detest pink in all its forms.

 

[lolly101]

I was worried when I had my son...You just "know" how to look after them. my little boy loves cooking and sewing but he also loves football and dinosaur king and trains!!! I was worried when he was born about playing football and "boys" things. He has lots of friends that do that bit now!!!!
Don't worry hun about being a bad mum. Just the fact you are worrying means you won't be!