Career - please help

[gflady]

So I'm a newly qualified nurse waiting for my pin number in March before I can practise as a registered nurse.

DH and I are desperately broody and want to start a family. Every time we hear that one of our friends are pregnant our hearts sinks a little (whilst also being very happy for them).

The problem is, I'm the one stopping us from TTC. I'm really worried about pregnancy and children affecting my career. Maternity pay isn't an issue at all. If we got pregnant now, would I still be a good nurse and have enough time to get to grips with the job before going off on mat leave. This is a real worry for me and I keeping going over and over it in my head. But then, will I ever feel ready to take time out of my career for our family?

Any thoughts? Do you guys ever worry about how children will affect your career?

 

[Jary]

Hey, I see your in SW England. Where abouts? I'm newly qualified (sept 11) too and want to try in September this year and for us it's because of maternity pay and also I think I'll be settled then.

Are you worried about having time for your child or worried about it affecting your practise? When I looked over the maternity policy for Hampshire trust (I'm to start work at Southampton) it did mention that they have days where a woman can come back to work just before her maternity leave ends so that they get used to being back.

If its time, whenever I've been on placements, managers do seem to be quite lenient in allowing staff to do shifts they would prefer. Or maybe even coming back part time.

I know what you mean about not wanting to wait. I've been ready for ages but for us it's because of financial reasons. Even when we get to september we will have a discussion, and of we arnt ready we will leave it till a later date (although I am determined for sept)

I would wait until you start your job and then take it from there; as in see how well you get into the routine and how confident you start to feel with being 'let out' as we would say. That's what I'll do, but I am still hoping that I'll be sorted by September 2012!

Nice to meet another newly qualified nurse!!!

 

[Pretty Please]

For me it has completely put a stop to my career as its hard to work - shift work 13 hours and have child care I havent come across a nursery that does very long hours. It comes down to a private nanny but then they are very expensive. Suppose nurses do shifts - so have to consider whether you have family that would look after your baby whilst you are at work?

One thing I would put into the mix is you might not get a baby immediately once you start trying - hope you do though ! Could take years.

Being a mum is the best job ever! My career is completely at the back burner if I go back to work in the next 4 months which I prob wont and I used to love my job

Good luck making your decision !

 

[butterfly1988]

:wave:

I am a newly qualifed nurse too!! I also get my PIN in March!! How exciting!! eek!!

I am also very broody and I want a baby now!!

Although I have made the decision to wait a year from getting my first job to start trying for !! The reason for this is that me and my dh haven't really spent much time together since we got married, we have been living of nothing for the past three years and it'll nice to have some money and go on some holidays before lo gets here. Also after working a year, I would feel quite comfortable in my job and I would get a the best materity package . Plus I would feel really bad, if I got offered a job and then got pregnant right away, I would feel quite cheeky tbh!!

I don't think children would ruin your career (I have high plans too)I know loads of ward sisters and managers with children.

Good Luck

 

[gflady]

Hello there fellow NQ nurses! I'm in Bristol

I think I'm worried about how it will impact on my practice. I intend on working almost full-time after mat leave. We're planning to start trying in June-Sept this year so that I will have had 9 months at least practising as an RN before going on mat leave. I've started on my ward already as a HCA and will then stay there once my pin comes through. I guess I'm worried about what people on my ward will think as I won't have been there long before getting pregnant (if all goes to plan), and I'm worried about forgetting everything I've learnt whilst on mat leave. Essentially, I'm worrying about everything- what others will think, if I'll be able to be good at my job, how will everything work out, how will I manage the balancing act of parenting and career etc.

Why can't these things be more straight forward!!!

 

[gflady]

PS I just know of loads of part-time nurses with children who are really anxious and stressy when they've come into work and left their children at home. They said that they don't feel like they do their job very well because of being a parent and a nurse. Does that make sense?

 

[Pearls18]

I'm not a nurse but I work full time. I don't think it affects my work, ok granted my job is not as pressurised as yours lol, but I come to work, I know DS is well looked after by the childminder and enjoy my job. It is my 'me' time lol. The only time it starts to become stressful is if he's poorly and I've got to find someone to look after him or work out my hours etc (DH isn't around much so it falls on me), and not to mention childcare costs. It will depend on your child though, Elliot is very easy going and will stay with anyone so I don't have to worry about him at all.

I would say though it would probably be better for you to work for a little while first and get settled into your job, I know you'll have 9 months from getting pregnant but what if you have a rough pregnancy with lots of sickness? I would hate to go through that in a new job. This is just a personal opinion though, I would probably work for a few months so that by the time I have gone on mat leave I'd have been there a year. But there is no right or wrong of course, you will just do what is right for you and your OH

 

[Jary]

I think it will be hard returning to work...I think that's why they introduced this return to work thingy. I think it largely depends on your situation too. Some women might not have the support at home, eg if they live away from family.

I don't think they'll get funny with you at work if you decide to ttc. At the end of the day it's personal choice when a couple feel ready to have children.

I worked it out so that if I start my job in feb and I conceive sept (it'll be great if it's straight away, but probs won't be) then by the 29th week I'll have been with the nhs for 12 continuous months. I assume it's probably the same for other trusts???

So I figure by then I should also have gotten skilled in my job and I should think they'd be ok with me going on maternity leave as I'd have been there just over a year.

Gflady; just curious what kind of wars are you on? I'm oncology

Also, how long would each of take off for maternity leave?

 

[comotion89]

hey I thought I'd add I qualified sept 2010 most employers won't pay Matty unless your been with them a year however you can get stat mat pay from the government it's not alot tbh it's 128 p/w fin when I l last checked or 90% of your wage if that is cheaper . also itc an affect your preceptorship time , tho some ladies I know on my course have managed I guess it's up to you personally , I would work for my employer for a few months first personally...

 

[gflady]

Thanks guys, you all raise some good points. It is a personal thing, you're right. MarineWAG, thank you- I feel encouraged that it is possible to work full-time and have children. Fortunately, DH is very supportive of my career and how important it is to me.

Luckily I'm already entitled to the full maternity pay as I've been employed by my trust continuously for the last 5 years, including when I was studying. When I have my sensible, non-broody hat on I'm happy to wait until Sept to TTC so then I will have been qualified at least a year before going on mat leave. However, I keep on having moments/days of desperate broodiness where I feel crazy, y'know?

Jary, I'm on a haem-onc ward! Love it. I think I would take 6-9 months of mat leave and then go back.

 

[Jary]

Oh yay! It's good that you already know the staff on the ward too.

I'm from the NE of England and did my training in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne so moving down south had been a big change so I was worried it would make it harder for me to get a job, but luckily I've done alright! Getting impatient to start now tho >.< haven't been on a ward since July.

And yeah six months would be the time I plan take off.

My partner worries about finance especially since he's suffered a pay cut but there maybe a job upcoming which pays do much better and the team leaders have asked for him personally. He's the same as your OH; he's supportive of my career and is supportive of us having a family soon but he just wants to be able to support us.

Eeeh I'm waffling again. It's just nice to meet fellow nurseys!! It still hasn't really hit me yet that I'm a nurse but I suppose once this job begins then that will all. Change. Scary step going from student white to qualified blue...

 

[Cat lady]

Hi there,
I am a vet nurse! I wont lie, it is difficult being a mummy and having a career but it is possible. I was lucky in the fact that I have been nursing for 10 years and qualified a good 6 years before having Thomas, but I think, no matter what stage you are at in your career it is something that can be done.
I work 3 long days a week, from 8:30 - 7, nurserys dont tend to be open this long so we have a childminder, my dh is a police officer so works shifts. Some weeks he can take Thomas and some weeks he cant, so its very useful to find a flexible one who will take lo for maybe 1 day one week and then 3 the next!
My career is kind of on hold, I want to do my nursing diploma and a few other bits like that! But whilst Thomas is so young and we are planning no2, I am happy for that to be.
xxx

 

[goohooya]

. I've started on my ward already as a HCA and will then stay there once my pin comes through.

 

[jess_1984]

Hi, just thought I woul add my opinion. I really would urge you to do a year after qualifying as minimum to consolidate your knowledge and skills and it will make you feel more confident when you are on mat leave to come back. I have been qualified 5 years and I think going back to work will still be hard but I know that I am confident in the job I do. it is a big change from being a student to a newly qualified accountable nurse and that will be stressful enough on its own but in a year you should feel confident and settled and hopefully have a stress free pregnancy. Hope u don't mind me sharing my opinion and good luck whatever you decide x

 

[gflady]

Thanks Jess. To be honest, I was thinking the same as you. I really want children now bur realistically I know it'd be much better to have a year as a qualified nurse before taking time out, which is why we're going to TTC from Sept at the earliest realistically.

I'm loving this thread, thanks so much everyone

Jary, we may be bump buddies! X

 

[Jary]

Thanks Jess. To be honest, I was thinking the same as you. I really want children now bur realistically I know it'd be much better to have a year as a qualified nurse before taking time out, which is why we're going to TTC from Sept at the earliest realistically.

I'm loving this thread, thanks so much everyone

Jary, we may be bump buddies! X

I'm all for that!!! I have a provisional start date for my job which is 6th feb. SO excited!