CC/CIO Support and Information Thread

[MJCP]

Okay, I need advice on CC! LO is just shy of 4 months, and I know some of you have done it this early.
He's a great night sleeper, 11-12 hours a night and self-settles without any issues at night. But he fights naps like there's no tomorrow! I have tried everything and nothing is working. I finally thought we got the hang of it, I had been putting him in his crib and letting him cry, but staying with him the whole time and though it took 1 hour for each nap the first couple of days, by day 5 we was going down in 30 seconds. I don't know why this has now gone out of the window, but it has. I have tried putting him down at set times, and going by his cues. I have tried white noise, light, dark, mobile, music, pacifier, rocking, feeding, etc etc....I am out of ideas. I don't mind if he doesn't nap long, but he needs to nap, otherwise it can take me up to 2 hours to put him to bed at night because he's too tired to eat but too hungry to sleep! If al else fails, I can usually manage a few naps in his swing or stroller, but they are only 25 minutes long.
So how do I do this CC thing?
I really hate to say that I'm starting to not enjoy him and it's killing me. I love him to bits and pieces, but I barely have time to eat during the day until OH gets home! Today he got up at 7:45, put him to nap at 10, he was asleep in 5 mins but woke up 20 mins later....and has been awake ever since, so since 10:25...it's now 1:40! It's almost time to feed now, but I know he'll be falling asleep, so won't feed well....and this will mess up my whole schedule....HELP!
I hate that I spend every waking moment thinking about this and stressing over it, I'm not enjoying my son the way I want to!

 

[DaisyBee]

I would stop bringing her out of the bedroom. If you make it boring when she wakes - no tv, no toys, no talking with her she may just decide why wake anymore. She is likely to protest but if you give in she is going to think her protesting, she will get her way, so stick with it. Even if you aren't going to do cc... You could cuddle her or whatever in your room, but leave lights off, just say night night time or something And that's it.

 

[DaisyBee]

that is a very long wake time I think for 3 months. I would think he is overtired and that can make for short naps. At that age Jordan was only able to go 90 minutes before her first nap and 1 hr 45 minutes before her next 2. If she was overtired by even 10-15 minutes then her nap was short and she was hard to put down. Have you tried less awake time? I would be doing naps so many minutes or hours after he wakes vs at a certain time. That comes easier when they are a bit older.

 

[MJCP]

so you would suggest getting him in his crib after 90 mins awake time whether he shows tired signs or not? or start getting him ready for nap time after 90 mins?

 

[lysh]

Gemie- I agree with Daisybee, don't take her out of your bedroom. Definitely keep things boring and do not overly interact. Would cuddling work? If that is too stimulating and the only way to get her to stay in her crib is to CC, then you can give it a try. To answer your previous question, you can do CC while co-sleeping. Ferber said you can stay in the room, but 'ignore' your lo during the waiting intervals. If it upsets your LO too much to be able to see you, you can always leave the room during that time and check in at the appropriate intervals until she falls asleep.

MJCP- My LO does not always show "tired" signs until it is too late. I went on a 90 minute schedule with her. When we get close to that 90 minute mark, I would cuddle with her, nurse her, rock her etc. until she fell asleep. Sometimes she would go less than or more than 90 minutes, but if I stick around that time frame she is usually okay. If you try that and your LO still fights sleep, I am not sure. Naps can be difficult to deal with. You can always try CC for naps. Personally, I found it hard to follow through with naps. I was constantly second guessing if she was tired enough, when to give up, exactly what time to begin etc.

 

[babyno9]

Hi everyone,

I came looking for a group because i am desperate. My 7 month old is a nightmare at night, he goes to bed ok after a bottle of milk but wakes at 10pm/11pm for milk or dummy and then again at 1/2am where he will continually cry/fuss/moan for the rest of the night, until i give up at 3/4am and get him up for the day. I am so exhausted and desperate for some sleep. I get about 3 hours a night and this has been going on for a couple of months now.

Tonight is the first night i am going to try CC. I know it will be an upsetting experience but reading other stories on here has reassured me its for the best.

Any words of encouragement, tips, advice greatly received. I'll probably be on here tonight crying because i failed and gave in.

 

[libbylou]

Be strong momma! It's hard but neither you or your LO are getting enough sleep to function properly at this point.
Follow your instincts is probably my biggest suggestion....ie if you feel LO is gone too far and needs some comfort to bring him back down to a point where he can calm himself and go to slep then by all means please comfort him.
The point of CIO and CC is not to deny comfort, it is to have LO put himself to sleep without a crutch (rocking, nursing, bottle, patting/shushing/etc). You can do all these things to comfort LO, just not to the point where LO is completely asleep

 

[babyno9]

Hi, thank you. I'll have to put it on hold for a few days, seems my baby is not well and has a bit of a temp, poor baby

 

[katrinalorien]

Good luck for when you decide you and LO are ready. Remember you have to be ready too! Because if you're not consistent then the cries are all for nothing and no one wants that!

Sending positive vibes your way, I hope your LO feels better soon and you all can get some good sleep.

 

[lysh]

Good luck for when you decide you and LO are ready. Remember you have to be ready too! Because if you're not consistent then the cries are all for nothing and no one wants that!

Sending positive vibes your way, I hope your LO feels better soon and you all can get some good sleep.

Yes, you have to be ready- completely agree! This is not an easy process, and I wanted to give in (especially when LO starts crying at 1 am then 3 am etc.) but my DH would remind me that we do not want all the work we have done to be for nothing.


Okay, so as an update- we are not exactly where I would like to be at this point, but we have made some progress. I still will feed my LO whenever she cries (if it has been at least 2 hours- my pedi gave me permission to try to spread this a bit, but we are not doing that yet), but she is still inconsistent about letting me put her back into her crib without her crying. Some nights, there are almost NO tears, then other nights there are some tears. Tonight, she cried when I put her into her crib at bedtime. Hopefully the rest of the night will not be like that! On the plus side, she slept for a 4 hour stretch at the beginning of hte night and a 3 hour stretch before waking up (granted we woke up at 4:30am, but I was thrilled she slept for 3 hours)! Mid morning was a little rough, but the larger stretches make up for it! The 4 hour stretch was 6:30 -10, so slept for only 2 of those hours.

So anyway, my LO is stubborn and was a colicky baby so maybe that is why this process is taking longer than I was hoping. Then again, we were bedsharing and she was eating every 1-2 hours. So going into a crib is a huge change. She is also at the earliest age recommended for this and she still needs some night feedings, so that can make this process trickier.

Wishing you all some restful sleep!

 

[katrinalorien]

lysh I think that's excellent! I think its all about progress, so one or two bumps isn't that big of a deal. I think you are doing an excellent job. Keep at it and you're doing great.

 

[lysh]

The beginning of the night was a little rough...hard to settle her. Thankfully, when she does cry, it does not last more than 8-9 minutes and we go in to comfort her once during that. She finally fell asleep around 7:20 then woke up at 9:30. I was sleeping, so my DH decided to see if she would settle back down without needing to be fed since she went 4 hours the night before. Sure enough, she cried for about 4 minutes and then slept until 11 at which point I fed her. She woke up again at 1:07 and I decided to see if she would settle back down again without a feeding....she cried for about 8 minutes and then slept until 2. I fed her again and then she slept until 5! The feedings take about 20-30 minutes, but in retrospect, this is progress. Much better than nursing every 1-2 hours. My goal is to at least get around 3- 3 1/2 hours between feedings. By stretching the feedings out a bit she actually REALLY fed too, rather than just snacking and falling back asleep.

Yesterday was not a good nap day, I am hoping today will be better. When she naps better during the day she goes down much easier during the night!

 

[katrinalorien]

lysh that sounds great! I had a good night too, and I posted it in the other thread. Yes that's one big difference I've found after stretching out the feedings - she really is taking it in rather than just comfort feeding a little bit, so she obviously needs it at that point. That to me makes it so much less frustrating too. Hopefully soon we can all have 5 hour stretches...


What would it feel like to get five hours of uninterrupted sleep? I'm still basking in the glow of getting to stay up a little later than Lily and having some time with just me and my DH.

 

[lysh]

lysh that sounds great! I had a good night too, and I posted it in the other thread. Yes that's one big difference I've found after stretching out the feedings - she really is taking it in rather than just comfort feeding a little bit, so she obviously needs it at that point. That to me makes it so much less frustrating too. Hopefully soon we can all have 5 hour stretches...


What would it feel like to get five hours of uninterrupted sleep? I'm still basking in the glow of getting to stay up a little later than Lily and having some time with just me and my DH.

Me too!! For 4 months I was going to bed at 7 with LO since we bedshared. I am having a hard time getting use to the idea that I do not have to rush around like a madwoman before a 7 o'clock bedtime! Plus it is nice having time to see DH.

One thing I discovered through this process though is that even though I had to let LO cry some, she is still a smiling, happy baby. There is so much fear these days around letting your baby cry some, but my LO is the same....she still can be fussy but it seems that as she gets more sleep she is less and less fussy!

 

[katrinalorien]

Yeah, actually something I've learned though this process is that really the only time my LO cries is when she is hungry or tired. She really isn't a fussy baby, she just gets tired sometimes. Its just that she can't go to sleep like she wants, so I have to teach her how to do that on her own. Still getting there, I can put her down a little less asleep now, but still not where I want it, and obviously she can't resettle herself all the time, even though it is getting better. Now to stretch out those night feedings. That I will do slowly for sure...

 

[Natsku]

Just thought I'd update: After a few nights of CC Maria had to spend to a few days in the hospital (completely unrelated, don't worry!) and then she was at her dad's for 2 and a half weeks but he kept her off the bottles (don't know how he put her to sleep though but they co-sleep so I doubt CC) and anyway, when she back after re-adjusting the first few nights (I stayed with her while she fell asleep or then came back frequently to comfort rather than leave her for 10 mins or so) she is now mostly STTN!
She goes to bed with no fuss. Sometimes she falls straight asleep, other times she just talks to herself and plays with her teddies til she sleeps. If she wakes in the night she usually settles herself (although sometimes she can be awake for a few hours but with no crying, just chatting and playing so I don't have to go in) and occasionally I have to go in but only to lie her back down and give her a kiss.

Its amazing how much her sleep has improved thanks to a few nights of CC and getting rid of the bottle! She sleeps as much as 14 hours a night some nights!! But usually at least 12 hours unless she naps in the day then she sleeps 11 hours.

 

[DaisyBee]

so glad to hear things are going well!

 

[Natsku]

All thanks to the support here!

She's awake right now, just heard her mumbling, but no crying at all. She only cries when she tantrums now, its such a difference! She's just a much happier kid overall now.

 

[_dreamer_]

Just wanted to update my story too (I'm 8 nights into CC)


My LO is 10 months, and would only nurse to sleep, and from 6 months was waking 3-4 times most nights, occasionally she'd only wake once which was heaven lol. She would want food most of those times, mainly to get back to sleep. Sometimes she'd be up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night. She wouldn't take a bottle so my partner couldn't relieve me. She'd quite often wake up randomly after going to bed, and she just wanted me to get her to go back to sleep, so I hadn't been out anywhere in the evenings for a very long time.

I have to say, I was reluctant to try sleep training, I just found it very hard to leave her crying. So for 10 months, I just did as she wanted. But we got to a point where I'm going back to work soon, and wouldn't be able to function if this continued. Her naps were also horrendous, she'd fall asleep nursing but would almost always wake when I tried to put her down, so she was tired and grumpy. Also wanted her to be able to sleep when she goes to nursery.

For a week or so before we started, I decided to try everything to cut down the night feeds. I found a few times, I could rock her back to sleep instead of feeding if I persisted which did take like 15-20 minutes of crying but that helped.

Then we picked a weekend when my OH wasn't working, and started last Friday night. The first night was the worst, she cried for 45 minutes. We went in a 2, 5, 5, 10, 15 minutes and then she went to sleep. We'd prepared ourselves for up to 3 hours that first night so were quite pleased. I dream fed her at 12 (as she's so used to eating in the night). She then woke at 5am and we did the CC with checks again, and she went back to sleep in 45 minutes (that was hard cos normally I'd feed her) and slept til I woke her at 7am (wanted to get her tired for that night, as she'd not gone down til 9pm).

From then on she's slept through the night. The crying has got less and less, and the last 3 nights, she hasn't cried at all, just a couple of moans when I left the room, the rolled over and went to sleep.

Nap time - well it's like having a different child. I think I've been depriving her of sleep to be honest. She's been crying for up to 15 minutes when I put her down, but then she'll have a great nap, I've been waking her up after an hour (she slept 2 hours the first day!!!!) and she's been having 2 naps a day.

She's now going 7-7 with a dream feed at 10 or 11, but I'm reducing that to stop it completely. And she's having 2x1 hour naps. I was reluctant for so long, but this has definitely been for the better for both my little girl and myself.

 

[katrinalorien]

I'm so glad its worked out for you dreamer!