Children at wedding???

[Lil_Baby_Boo]

When OH & I booked our wedding we decided that we wouldn't be inviting any children unless they're part off the brides / grooms party.

We're having our own son as page boy, OH's sister (7 years) as a flower girl and my only nephew as an usher.

We worked out that if we were having all children there would be twice as many children as there would be adults. There was no way we could afford to cover the cost but also decided that most children get bored sitting listening to speeches etc.

We've had to be really strict - and treat all under 18's as 'children'.......so no under 18's apart from the 3.

Whats everyone else planning on doing?

We've had a couple of comments but were just sticking to our guns..........we think a few family members will say they can't come as they've no childcare thinking that we might just say 'oh bring the kids' but we're not!!

 

[welshcakes79]

This is what we did hun, Rhiannon was THE only child there and i think thats why all the guests enjoyed as much, as they could let their hair down without worrying about their kids or trying to get them to sleep half way through the evening reception.
We also did the everyone under 18 rule although ours ran up to 21, as i invited all my
1st cousins but not their kids as it would have been "well if their kids are going" arguments starting
xxx

 

[Pyrrhic]

We didn't have any kids, and people brought them anyway My venue didnt even have kids food for them, and the wedding meal was £110 a plate. I did go a bit ballistic.

 

[Lil_Baby_Boo]

and the wedding meal was £110 a plate. I did go a bit ballistic.

OMG.....Did you eat gold???

 

[Lil_Baby_Boo]

We're also going to state on the invites that unfortunately children can not be accomodated at the wedding and the invite is for the named people only and then say something like 'we hope you attend our wedding and enjoy your children free day'

xx

 

[Pyrrhic]

wouldnt have been as tasty

 

[Kimboowee]

I think its wrong for parents to assume there children are invited even though not named on invites.

Were not having anybody under 12 at our wedding apart from our baby and my cousins son as they'll be coming from scotland.

Were inviting our friends and cousins with children in the evening but not during the day!

 

[Sovereign]

We're inviting children but there won't be LOADS of them. I understand why people don't though x

 

[EstelSeren]

We're inviting children mostly because we don't see the need not to! However there are also other considerations that we're having to make, for example one of OH's auntys has to come with her family from New Zealand so if they are able to make it over then obviously we have to have their little girl there and as everyone in both families that we're inviting has to travel somewhat we don't feel that it's fair to say that because they don't have so far to travel they aren't able to bring their children! We're actually doing the opposite to what most people do- we're allowing guests to bring their children who are too young to be safe in a strange town on their own to the ceremony and meal (we're planning on sorting out a children's table!) but not inviting cousins who are old enough to look after themselves- roughly 16+! For the evening reception/party we are planning on only being child friendly until about 10-11pm (or until the venue is happy allowing children) and then changing the music so it's heavier and basically saying on the invitations that people who do not want their children to listen to or don't want to listen themselves to heavy rock/metal music with potentially strong and explicit lyrics are advised that this will be played after x time and so can make up their mind on whether they want to stay. The evening party is planned to be more for our friends who we were unable to invite to the ceremony than for our family and pretty much everyone we've spoken to understand this.

Beca :wave:

 

[Blah11]

When/If I get married, I'll be inviting children but only to the reception so they can run about mad if they wish, eat the buffet and don't get bored with the ceremony.

My auntie is getting married on Sept 12th, she didn't invite Amelie so I'm not going I think aslong as you're prepared for some people not to go because you don't invite their children then it's fine.

 

[MrsVenn]

We only had 2 under 3yrs and my cousins who were 12, 12 and 13 so caused no bother. Luckily, being quite young when I got married, only 2 of my friends had little ones. I wouldn't have said no to them but looking back, one of my friend's little boy was an obnoxious little #### who talked really loudly throughout our ceremony which really irritated me and not once did she take him out. Someone even asked her too apparently and he turned round and went "nooo"

The worst bit was when loads of people kept coming up to me after the ceremony asking me who he was and expressing their disgust to be honest about the parenting and the child's behaviour, I was embarassed for her but she had no shame. To be honest, I was probably more embarassed that she was my friend!

I can understand completely when someone doesn't want children there, it's their choice and their wedding after all.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

We will have children, but we're only having about 40 adult guests and there will be about 8 kids plus Ruby. I want people to come and like Blah says, feel that it'll be very difficult for them if their kids can't come.

I don't like the idea of kids screaming etc during the service though, and my brother and his partner are rather 'liberal' parents who let my niece and nephew run riot. But I'll just have to deal with it as it's a family occasion and I want everyone involved!

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

The worst bit was when loads of people kept coming up to me after the ceremony asking me who he was and expressing their disgust to be honest about the parenting and the child's behaviour, I was embarassed for her but she had no shame. To be honest, I was probably more embarassed that she was my friend!

Oh dear I would never make bad comments to the bride about her friends on her wedding day!

 

[polo_princess]

We will be having children there but only children of immediate family which is a grand total of ...... 12 children including Brooke, and thats immediate only. I couldnt not invite them as with so many children out family is really child orientated, i dont mind Brooke will be the youngest there at 20 months old.

Our wedding is going to be pretty informal though

 

[MrsVenn]

The worst bit was when loads of people kept coming up to me after the ceremony asking me who he was and expressing their disgust to be honest about the parenting and the child's behaviour, I was embarassed for her but she had no shame. To be honest, I was probably more embarassed that she was my friend!

Oh dear I would never make bad comments to the bride about her friends on her wedding day!

It was cringe making but he really was sooo badly behaved! I just kept thinking "I'm never going to let anyone be able to have that opportunity to make those comments about my children"

 

[charlieann]

we had only immediate family at the ceremony, then the rest including kids to the reception. we put some sticker and colouring books on the tables to keep the kids occupied during the meal. it wasnt until the evening reception that they all went crazy running round, but we didnt mind by this time.

we've just got back from a wedding when it was a no kids rule to the sit down meal. it would have meant us finding someone to have him 40 miles from home for 2-3hrs whilst we went the reception. we said we wouldnt be going the meal as im bfeeding and cant leave little one atm. they decided to relax this rule for us and another couple who had travelled a distance and couldnt find childcare locally. ours and the other kid got bit restless and noisy during the speeches and were taken outside so not to ruin it for other guests, otherwise they were reasonably behaved.

 

[Mynxie]

TBH there were as many children at our wedding as there were adults, cause DHs immediate family is HUGE!

 

[Zarababy1]

We had loads of kids at our wedding maybe more than there was adults at some points! it was great we had a lovely day and really enjoyed our selfs! the night most of the kids went off to baby sitters ect or people who didnt have baby sitters went home, charlie stayed right untill midnight when it finished! My mum stayed sober to look after him tho, he just slept most of it! it was great we ran around playing with the kids most of the day then on the night got drunk danced and sang kaeroke with the adults! But thats just what kinda people we are, no sit down meal just a finger buffet we just wanted a big party and thats just what we had!

 

[x-amy-x]

I couldn't imagine a wedding without kids to be honest! I'm too much of a big kid myself to want something 'just for grown ups' I understand what you mean about the cost though!

 

[mrsraggle]

We invited kids to our evening reception (actual wedding was a very small affair) but hardly anyone brought them!!! They all opted for a night out on their own x