Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

[Godsjewel]

Would you kill someone?

I’m not talking about taking the life of an attacker as you are defending your own life or that of your family. I’m asking if you would ever just come right out and kill someone. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume your answer is a resounding “no”! For most of us, the idea of even hurting someone is absurd, much less taking someone’s life.

But why would you refuse to kill someone? Is it because you wouldn’t want to endure the punishment that would follow? As horrible as the punishment would be, most of us wouldn’t want to kill someone even if we knew we could escape any consequences. What is it that makes the idea of purposefully ending another person’s life so unthinkable?

A holy God handed down a commandment saying “Do not kill”. Enough said.

Infertility places a heavy burden on your heart and your mind. You worry about whether or not you should pursue medical treatment. You worry about where the money will come from. You worry about a future without children if you are unable to conceive. You worry about a marriage placed under the strain of an empty cradle. You worry. You worry. You worry.

The same God who said “Do not kill” also said “Do not worry”.

Why does God tell you not to worry? Because He knows your future. He knows the plans He has for you, and He’s not worried. The uncertainty that infertility places before you is not puzzling to God. He knew every day of your life before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:16) If His plan for you involves difficult days, He knows how to bring you through them. He also knows how to celebrate with you on joyous days. You don’t have to worry because you are never alone (Matthew 28:20), and the One who travels with you, who knows your future, is not worried.

You matter to God. God cares that your heart longs for a baby. He sees every tear that has streamed down your face when another cycle ends without a pregnancy. He understands the hurt and the frustration, yet because He is lovingly in control He can still say to you “don’t worry”.

Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.

But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith!
Luke 12:27-28

-Beth Forbus

 

[ByHisGrace08]

Hello!!!

Can I say how excited I am to find this thread!!! I have been looking and looking and was even thinking of starting one then I came across this one!

A little about me...Im 26 and this is my husband and mines second time TTC#1. We had a m/c about six years ago and then two years after that we tried again but God had other plans. Now here we are again and this time we know God has prepared us fully to be parents. While it looks like it might be a long journey we know His plan is greater then anything we could imagine and we will praise him every step of the way!!! We also have an amazing Prayer Group supporting and loving us every step of the way!

I am a full time Nursing student and my husband is an EMT with a private Ambulance company but is working on is UPC ministers license. We live a busy life but are ready to move from family of two to three!!

I am from New England anyone else from my area?

Blessings!

Welcome to our thread! I'm Amanda and my husband and I have moved on from our LTTTC journey as of early May after seven years total. I'm 31 and a fleet manager at a trucking company. My husband is 37 and is a disabled veteran. We are from Alabama and have been married for 8 1/2 years.

I haven't really posted much anywhere lately since there aren't too many people on here who are in our shoes, but I'm going to do better about posting. I've kept busy with everything lately and haven't had much time to do much else. lol

Hello Amanda,

Thank you so glad to be hear! Do you mind me asking what was your dx? Also Thank you to your husband for his service!! My little brother is in the AirForce.

Blessings,

 

[ByHisGrace08]

Would you kill someone?

I’m not talking about taking the life of an attacker as you are defending your own life or that of your family. I’m asking if you would ever just come right out and kill someone. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume your answer is a resounding “no”! For most of us, the idea of even hurting someone is absurd, much less taking someone’s life.

But why would you refuse to kill someone? Is it because you wouldn’t want to endure the punishment that would follow? As horrible as the punishment would be, most of us wouldn’t want to kill someone even if we knew we could escape any consequences. What is it that makes the idea of purposefully ending another person’s life so unthinkable?

A holy God handed down a commandment saying “Do not kill”. Enough said.

Infertility places a heavy burden on your heart and your mind. You worry about whether or not you should pursue medical treatment. You worry about where the money will come from. You worry about a future without children if you are unable to conceive. You worry about a marriage placed under the strain of an empty cradle. You worry. You worry. You worry.

The same God who said “Do not kill” also said “Do not worry”.

Why does God tell you not to worry? Because He knows your future. He knows the plans He has for you, and He’s not worried. The uncertainty that infertility places before you is not puzzling to God. He knew every day of your life before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:16) If His plan for you involves difficult days, He knows how to bring you through them. He also knows how to celebrate with you on joyous days. You don’t have to worry because you are never alone (Matthew 28:20), and the One who travels with you, who knows your future, is not worried.

You matter to God. God cares that your heart longs for a baby. He sees every tear that has streamed down your face when another cycle ends without a pregnancy. He understands the hurt and the frustration, yet because He is lovingly in control He can still say to you “don’t worry”.

Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.

But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith!
Luke 12:27-28

-Beth Forbus

I love this!! This message has been spoken to me several times over the last few weeks as I have been struggling to place full trust in His mighty and loving hands. God is good and I will continue to praise His Holy Name!

 

[ByHisGrace08]

Hello Ladies,

So I was just wondering has anyone here taken Provera? Did it restart your cycles for you? If so after how many rounds? Also how often did you take it, every other month? Suppose to start my first round on Friday.

Also any Pentecostal Ladies on here?!

Blessings,

 

[uwa_amanda]

Hello Ladies,

So I was just wondering has anyone here taken Provera? Did it restart your cycles for you? If so after how many rounds? Also how often did you take it, every other month? Suppose to start my first round on Friday.

Also any Pentecostal Ladies on here?!

Blessings,

I took Provera for three months before I did eight cycles of Clomid. My diagnosis was unexplained infertility but I think it was a combination of little to no ovulation and poor SA results.

 

[Alr83]

Hello Ladies,

So I was just wondering has anyone here taken Provera? Did it restart your cycles for you? If so after how many rounds? Also how often did you take it, every other month? Suppose to start my first round on Friday.

Also any Pentecostal Ladies on here?!

Blessings,

My first dr we did fertility tx's with put me on provera, we did 4 rounds (every month) always started my cycle then with clomid each cycle.

 

[Alr83]

Hello Ladies,

So I was just wondering has anyone here taken Provera? Did it restart your cycles for you? If so after how many rounds? Also how often did you take it, every other month? Suppose to start my first round on Friday.

Also any Pentecostal Ladies on here?!

Blessings,

Just reread this....if you're asking if it made my cycles more normal...the answer for me is no. once we stopped they went back to crazy (anywhere from 12 to 92 days). Good luck! Praying it all works for you!

 

[Godsjewel]

For this child I prayed...
1 Samuel 1:27


As women who face the daily struggle of infertility, there is no doubt the pages of our Bibles recording chapters one and two of 1 Samuel are dog-eared. We loved to read and reread the story of Hannah as she wept and prayed in the temple, crying out to God for a baby, just as we do today. We relate to her frustration, we can almost literally feel her pain and taste her salty tears. How many times have we all sat down in the dusty floor of the temple next to Hannah and wept along with her? It’s just so good to be understood by someone else who knows what it feels like to want a baby so badly, even if that understanding sister lived thousands of years ago!

Oh, how I wish there were video cameras in Hannah’s day. As much I love to read Hannah’s words, I would really love to hear her tell her story. Wouldn’t you? I’d love to hear her make her petitions to the Almighty. I’d love to see her face when she told Eli the priest that she wasn’t drunk, but heartbroken instead. Most of all, I’d want to eavesdrop when she brought her God-sent son back to the same priest and dedicated him to the Lord. I’d ask you to watch that particular video today.

I’d ask you to back the video up to 1 Samuel 1:27 when Hannah held her precious baby boy in her arms and looked at the priest, Eli, and said “For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted what I asked of Him...” And then I’d ask you to back it up and watch it again. And again. “For this child I prayed...” Back it up. “For this child I prayed...” Turn the volume up. “For this child I prayed...” I can’t help but believe if we could hear Hannah’s voice when she said these words, we might just hear her put her passionate emphasis on the word this. “For THIS child I prayed...”

The waiting in hard. You just want a baby. You don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, or if it’s born at the perfect time of year. You just want a healthy baby. You cry out to God with everything in you to let this month be the month. “God, please! I can’t wait another month. I’ll go crazy. Please let me get pregnant this time.” Just one baby. That’s all you ask for. But please, let it be now! Anybody who has ever gone through infertility would absolutely understand.

But listen to Hannah. “For this child I prayed.” What she didn’t realize all those years as she was weeping and crying out to God for a baby was that every single tear and every single prayer was a prayer for Samuel. Every single tear was a tear shed for Samuel. Every single prayer was a prayer prayed for Samuel. For this child I prayed. Can you imagine the first time she saw his face? It must have all come together in an instant. “Oh, I understand. It was for this child I prayed and waited. Not another! But for this child. So worth it. He was so worth it!”

If Hannah had conceived when she first desired a child, that child would not have been Samuel. There’s no way she could have realized the specific child she was praying for, but God knew. God knows your life and your future just as specifically. All the months that have passed with negative pregnancy tests are not failures. Were Hannah’s months and years without pregnancies failures? Her story resulted in Samuel! If she had conceived even one month earlier than she did, Samuel could not have been conceived and history would have been changed. “For this child I prayed...”

I believe God has a purpose and a plan for your infertility. I believe there is a reason for every single month, every single week, every single day and every single negative pregnancy test you must endure. (Jeremiah 29:11) Keep praying. Keep asking God for children. It is our prayer that one day, just as you have wept with Hannah, you will join with her in saying, “For this child I prayed and God has granted what I asked of Him.”

-Beth Forbus

 

[QueenKingfish]

Oh, Sarah. Thank you so much! I needed this today.

This being my first cycle on the Metformin, I have no idea if I'm late or not. I was going to test yesterday morning, but it was the 2 year anniversary of my father's sudden passing. While I REALLY wanted to turn it into a day where it's hard to think about anything except how much I miss him to one where we found out we were expecting our first child, I also didn't want to exacerbate my already taxed emotions.

So I wait. I wait, I pray and in those prayers I turn away from my human nature of worry and into the trust and comfort of our Almighty Father, who does have a plan for us - a PERFECT plan. I can't wait for the day when I look back and know that every tear shed, every prayer said and every time I yelled at God was worth it.

 

[Gingerspice]

Hi all,

I've been pointed to this thread from another one. I was looking for somewhere I could offload and just put my thoughts down. They come across as pretty confusing and lost and may seem crazy to a non-christian.

We have a little girl, who'll be starting school soon so I know we are very blessed to have a child already. She wasn't to our timing - we had completely different plans proposed and so it was quitea shock to find us with LO on the way.

Now though, it feels the right time when we would choose to have another. There's so many questions in life though that I'm confused by the idea. The not knowing whether we will or won't have another is causing me to try juggling more balls. I'm contemplating job changes. I'm looking for changes in my life, but this will all be dependent on whether another one will happen for us. I truly could accept not having anymore, but this interim of questions is killing me.

We've been trying for just over 9 months but we were never particularly active with protection for most of the time since LO.

I know I need to just keep pressing on, drawing nearer to God and trying to let him guide me into what the future holds, but I just want to find my feet fixed onto something, knowing if I should focus on career and change jobs, or accept another one will happen so stay where i am. I'm restless with the uncertainty. I haven't told anybody how we're ttc because I feel like a failure that its not happened. I'm not the healthiest of people and I know thoughts will go through minds of 'maybe you should lose weight then' etc. I feel bad for asking for another baby when we have one lovely little girl. I don't want to fuss, the sympathy and the judgement of telling others in church how lost I am on my path. Everything is focused on LO. I don't have much opportunity to truly seek God and I feel as distant as ever with not getting a break from being a mother. I can't focus on praying and singing at church as concentrating on LO, and even if I chose to go forward to prayer at the end I know I have a LO in sunday school that I need to collect. I'm just ploughing forward with this hidden burden that I want it all yet its not happening. I assumed given how easily we were given LO that the same would happen for no.2.

Thanks for letting me put it all out there. I just need to share a little of my thoughts to try to get them 'out there' and let me put them into perspective.

 

[Godsjewel]

People often refer to the infertility experience as being like a roller coaster ride. Full of emotional ups and downs. At the beginning of a new cycle, your hopes rise and you can say with full faith and assurance that you know God is in control of your life and your future. You know that He will bring you through this trial in your life, and you trust Him to give you a baby however He sees fit.

Throughout the dreaded two week wait (that always feels like it lasts at least two months) you try to remain positive without letting your hopes rise too high. You know that if you’re not pregnant the fall will be devastating and the crash may be too much to take. The ups and downs are simply ridiculous. Still, you try to trust God through the uncertainty and you tell Him you’ll take whatever He has planned .

Day 28 comes. Day 29. Could this be it? Should you wait one more day before you take a home pregnancy test, or should you do it now? Is this the moment you’ve waited for all these months? Did God finally come through? Before the celebrating begins, you realize you’re right back where you started from. There’s no pregnancy, just another period. Another failed attempt. Another time God has said “no”. Another devastating “down” in this roller coaster ride of infertility.

The strong faith you held on to just days before seems to have dissipated. You’re hurt, disappointed and confused. If we could roll back the curtains of Heaven and have a face to face conversation with the Almighty, would it sound something like this?

“God, why do You allow me to hurt like this? Don’t You know how badly I want a baby? You didn’t let me conceive. I told You I trusted You. I told You I believed You. I put this in Your hands, God, and You stopped it again!”

Perhaps it’s then you would hear your Father say to you, “Child, you’re welcome.”

You’re welcome? Did God not understand you? Was there something lost along the way, or did God not understand? No, hurting friend, God didn’t misunderstand. But maybe you did.

You are reassured every time you open the Bible that God has a plan for your life that He lovingly designed specifically for you. We quote Jeremiah 29:11 as easily as we can recite our own address and phone number, but do we really believe it? I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. God tells us that He knew us before we grew inside our mother’s womb. He has us engraved on the palms of His hands. He knows you want a baby more than you want the next breath you’ll take. He also knows exactly what needs to happen for His plan to be made manifest in your life to bring about this hope and future for you.

God knows the hurt you feel every time you face another period and pregnancy-free month. He also knows that if He allowed you to conceive a child that He has not destined for you it would be a magnanimous tragedy. What if He allowed you to get pregnant, yet His perfect plan for you was an adopted child? What if His beautiful plan for you includes a pregnancy to begin in 6 months, yet He weakened and thought, “Well, she’s begged for a baby so much, I guess I’ll give in and let her conceive a different child now. It won’t be the child I have for her, but I’m tired of hearing her beg.” God loves you more than that. He loves you enough to love you through your misunderstandings. He loves you enough to be a Father who sometimes says “no” when He knows better. He loves you enough to make you wait on Him even when you want something so badly.

Remember this: Another month without a pregnancy is not a failure. It is simply another step toward the fulfillment of God’s perfect plan for your family.

And for that, we really can be thankful.

-Beth Forbus

 

[Godsjewel]

Oh, Sarah. Thank you so much! I needed this today.

This being my first cycle on the Metformin, I have no idea if I'm late or not. I was going to test yesterday morning, but it was the 2 year anniversary of my father's sudden passing. While I REALLY wanted to turn it into a day where it's hard to think about anything except how much I miss him to one where we found out we were expecting our first child, I also didn't want to exacerbate my already taxed emotions.

So I wait. I wait, I pray and in those prayers I turn away from my human nature of worry and into the trust and comfort of our Almighty Father, who does have a plan for us - a PERFECT plan. I can't wait for the day when I look back and know that every tear shed, every prayer said and every time I yelled at God was worth it.

Big hugs to you sweetie

Yes, I to stand with you believing He has a PERFECT plan for all of us.

 

[Godsjewel]

Hi all,

I've been pointed to this thread from another one. I was looking for somewhere I could offload and just put my thoughts down. They come across as pretty confusing and lost and may seem crazy to a non-christian.

We have a little girl, who'll be starting school soon so I know we are very blessed to have a child already. She wasn't to our timing - we had completely different plans proposed and so it was quitea shock to find us with LO on the way.

Now though, it feels the right time when we would choose to have another. There's so many questions in life though that I'm confused by the idea. The not knowing whether we will or won't have another is causing me to try juggling more balls. I'm contemplating job changes. I'm looking for changes in my life, but this will all be dependent on whether another one will happen for us. I truly could accept not having anymore, but this interim of questions is killing me.

We've been trying for just over 9 months but we were never particularly active with protection for most of the time since LO.

I know I need to just keep pressing on, drawing nearer to God and trying to let him guide me into what the future holds, but I just want to find my feet fixed onto something, knowing if I should focus on career and change jobs, or accept another one will happen so stay where i am. I'm restless with the uncertainty. I haven't told anybody how we're ttc because I feel like a failure that its not happened. I'm not the healthiest of people and I know thoughts will go through minds of 'maybe you should lose weight then' etc. I feel bad for asking for another baby when we have one lovely little girl. I don't want to fuss, the sympathy and the judgement of telling others in church how lost I am on my path. Everything is focused on LO. I don't have much opportunity to truly seek God and I feel as distant as ever with not getting a break from being a mother. I can't focus on praying and singing at church as concentrating on LO, and even if I chose to go forward to prayer at the end I know I have a LO in sunday school that I need to collect. I'm just ploughing forward with this hidden burden that I want it all yet its not happening. I assumed given how easily we were given LO that the same would happen for no.2.

Thanks for letting me put it all out there. I just need to share a little of my thoughts to try to get them 'out there' and let me put them into perspective.

First of all, WELCOME! My name is Sarah and I'm glad you've joined us.

The most important thing you can do right this minute is give it all to God...all your worries, cares and thoughts and pray that His will be done in your life, whether it's to have another child right away or to further your career. He has our best interest at heart and if we put our trust in Him, He will lead us down the path He wants us to go and while we are in His will, we will feel such peace about the decisions we have made.

 

[Godsjewel]

November is National Adoption Awareness Month, a time to give thanks for those who are blessed by adoption and those who make adoption possible. Today’s Daily Double Portion is provided by a sweet friend of Sarah’s Laughter, Christy Nueman, who is also an adoptive mother. She understands the joys of growing her family through the selfless gift of adoption, as well as the unfathomable gift of being adopted into the family of God. Thank you once again, Christy, for sharing your heart and testimony with us!

*************************************

The wait had begun. We had completed a mountain of paperwork, attended all the classes, met

repeatedly with our social worker, finalized our home study and our home was completely baby proofed from top-to-bottom. We were finally, officially on the wait list to adopt a child! My husband and I were eagerly expecting “the call” that would change our lives forever. We were awaiting God’s answer to our prayers for the child that we had prayed for endlessly over the years. And I yearned to echo Hannah’s words from 1 Samuel 1:27, where she says, “I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.”

Do you remember that famous line from the ketchup commercial that said, “The taste that’s worth the wait”? Did you know that it was actually Carly Simon’s song Anticipation that brought this well-known saying to life? Anticipation is the perfect word to express exactly what I felt during my wait. I could almost taste the sweet blessing of motherhood. I imagined holding my precious baby in my arms and finally humming all those unsung lullabies.

Looking back, some days I honestly doubted that my journey would ever end and then other days it felt like the end of my adoption journey was as close as the heart beating within my chest. Regardless of my fickle emotions, God was teaching me how to wait in hopeful anticipation—and the verses from Romans 8:23,25 came alive to me in a whole new way, which say, “Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies…But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Indeed, I was learning that there was something even better than the gift of adopting my own child—it is the gift of adoption into God’s family. The Bible tells us that from the moment we “confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him” (Romans 10:9, NIV) that we have a new identity as the sons and daughters of God (2 Corinthians 6:18). Upon our conversion, we are promised a new life, a new family, a new eternal home and a new relationship with our Heavenly Father. I realized that just as God was using the miracle of adoption to build my own family—the God of the Universe had miraculously chosen and adopted me. I was an adopted daughter of the Creator of the universe—and then, the day my Creator had appointed before the beginning of time arrived. We got

the call that we were chosen by a birth mom—and my wait was over. My family and friends all told me that I was glowing as I held my sweet baby boy in my arms. It was worth the wait!

God thinks we are worth the wait too. Like I waited in eager expectation for my own child, my Heavenly Father also patiently waits for the day that we will be together for all of eternity. I can only imagine how much more I will radiantly glow when I experience the future glory that awaits me and also for all those who are adopted into God’s family. One day “I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:6, NIV).

But while I’m here on earth, I have the opportunity to please my Heavenly Father by giving Him my whole life. Through the power of God’s Holy Spirit, I am beginning to understand the profound blessing of the sanctified Christian life that Paul speaks about in Philippians 1:21, which says, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” And all of my sisters and brothers in Christ are not only promised to receive eternal riches in Heaven, but in this life, we are blessed exceedingly and abundantly by our loving Father with “Every good and perfect gift” (James 1:17, NIV). I personally have received many good and perfect gifts from the Father of heavenly lights—my husband and my beautiful son are two of those gifts—but the greatest gift of all was God sending His one and only son, Jesus Christ, to this earth to die on the cross for my sins and the sins of the world. There never has been, and there never will be, a more good and perfect gift than Jesus.

My one and only son just turned 4 years old—and I still vividly remember the day of his birth. Each year on his birthday, I pray that that one day he chooses the best birthday gift of all—Jesus’ gift of salvation. I want him to be an adopted son of God. And on the eve of his fourth birthday (just like I do each and every night), I sang my son a song that says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16.” My son knows this song by heart. And I am eagerly expecting the day when all of God’s adopted children will sing a new song before the throne in Heaven (Revelation 14:3).

Are you an adopted child of God? If not, then you don’t have to wait another day. Everyone is welcome to come into the family of God. Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty” (John 6:35, NIV).

When I finally stand before my Maker face-to-face, I will fully know that an eternity with my sweet Savior Jesus was worth the wait!

**This story is dedicated to one of my best friends, Veronica, as she awaits God’s good and perfect gift. It will be worth the wait! May God bless you exceedingly and abundantly!**

--Christy Nueman

 

[ByHisGrace08]

Hello Ladies,

Just wanted to pop in and say I have been reading some of the back posts and I am so glad I joined!! what a wonderful place to find- so supportive!!! This is one of the first threads I check each day!!!

Blessings & Babydust,

 

[phaedypants]

Hi Everyone;
What a wonderful group this is! Reading these posts has honestly given me a sense of wonder at the mysterious plans of God...

It is so easy to feel insignificant in my worst moments... Like God has forgotten the aching in my heart, or worse, that He is punishing me now for the times I chose to turn from Him. In the quietest, darkest, most alone hours, I have let myself hold these sinful thoughts...

But, even so, I am forgiven, cherished, and guided through a life that is more than the one I can imagine for myself.

When I can witness the way this group is growing these amazing seeds of faith and ministry, I feel truly blessed to feel a part of it.

I can feel blessed when I see a husband holding his arm protectively out to his pregnant wife on the icy streets. I can feel blessed when my facebook floods with the gifts of perfect, beautiful children born to my friends. I can feel blessed knowing that I am 2 days away from the end of this month's cycle, and it may bring the same heartbreak that I've grown so used to...

Strange as it may seem, I think it's because this little thread has made me feel like I am part of something beautiful and full of faith... When before I found this thread, I only felt like I was left out of something. I never saw the belonging in this struggle... Only the isolation.

I am so proud of all of you women for continuing to walk in faith and to bring each other back to our better minds when we need it.

Thank you all so much!!!

 

[Godsjewel]

Hello Ladies,

Just wanted to pop in and say I have been reading some of the back posts and I am so glad I joined!! what a wonderful place to find- so supportive!!! This is one of the first threads I check each day!!!

Blessings & Babydust,

Praise God!!! I was so alone in TTC and needed encouragement from other sisters in Christ, that's why I started this thread

I pray you are blessed daily by the devotionals and wise words of other ttc'ers.

 

[Godsjewel]

Hi Everyone;
What a wonderful group this is! Reading these posts has honestly given me a sense of wonder at the mysterious plans of God...

It is so easy to feel insignificant in my worst moments... Like God has forgotten the aching in my heart, or worse, that He is punishing me now for the times I chose to turn from Him. In the quietest, darkest, most alone hours, I have let myself hold these sinful thoughts...

But, even so, I am forgiven, cherished, and guided through a life that is more than the one I can imagine for myself.

When I can witness the way this group is growing these amazing seeds of faith and ministry, I feel truly blessed to feel a part of it.

I can feel blessed when I see a husband holding his arm protectively out to his pregnant wife on the icy streets. I can feel blessed when my facebook floods with the gifts of perfect, beautiful children born to my friends. I can feel blessed knowing that I am 2 days away from the end of this month's cycle, and it may bring the same heartbreak that I've grown so used to...

Strange as it may seem, I think it's because this little thread has made me feel like I am part of something beautiful and full of faith... When before I found this thread, I only felt like I was left out of something. I never saw the belonging in this struggle... Only the isolation.

I am so proud of all of you women for continuing to walk in faith and to bring each other back to our better minds when we need it.

Thank you all so much!!!

I got chills, that was beautiful.

God is good and when we truly realize that we are where we are because He has a great plan for us, it makes it all worth it.

 

[Godsjewel]

After a difficult struggle with infertility that involved much medical intervention, God blessed my husband and me with a beautiful daughter, for whom we are eternally grateful. Never a day goes by that we are not breathlessly aware of His amazing gift of her. When she was four years old, we returned to our physician in an attempt to conceive again. Nothing happened. More surgery, more rounds of medications, more procedures. Nothing. We decided to lay down the attempts at a biological child and pursue the miracle of adoption.

After prayerful consideration, we decided we would adopt from Russia. The Russian people had always been so intriguing to me and it just felt right. We contacted a reputable adoption agency, were quickly accepted and began the never-ending mountains of paperwork--in English and in Russian. Nothing happened. Our dossier was completed. Months passed. Nothing. A year passed. Suddenly everything felt wrong. We decided to change courses again.

We began to look into domestic adoption. We didn’t really understand why we felt the way we did. We had prayed over every step we took. We believed God lead us back to the fertility clinic, but then we believe He lead us away. We believed He lead us to pursue a Russian adoption but felt just as strongly that He was leading us to lay it down as well. Would He lead us to complete a domestic adoption or would He ask us to stop this as well?

We went through the process, filled out more mounds of paperwork and began yet another waiting process. We were assured that our profile would be quickly chosen by a birthmother and that our family would soon be complete. After another year, we were told that our documents were never even looked at by birthmothers. We were never even considered. It was then that we decided to lay down our attempts to adopt. Our family would be complete as it was. For the first time, we felt completely at peace.

Several years later, my husband was praying as he was driving to work. He wasn’t praying about having more children or adopting a child. We had resolved those issues and remained at peace about it. However, God spoke to him and he said he knew God was speaking about not giving us more children. “I’ve spared you from a greater sorrow,” God said to my husband.

We thought we wanted more children. We thought our family was not complete and we thought we knew what we needed to do. We pursued every avenue we could to bring more children into our home. God, in His wisdom and love, put up roadblocks at every turn. God spared us from a sorrow greater than not having a house full of children. True, I always thought I wanted a large family. What I didn’t want was a large family of children who would not love and serve God. Perhaps He looked down through time and eternity and saw that my children would not have served Him, so He spared me--and them--that sorrow. Perhaps my heart couldn’t take the heartbreak of miscarriage. He spared me that sorrow. I am eternally grateful for the sorrow He has spared me.

What if we had dug our heels in the mud? What if we had forced our will over His like Sarah did in the Old Testament? No longer trusting in the promises given by God, Sarah approached Abraham with her own plan and orchestrated the events that eventually lead to the birth of a child borne to Abraham and Sarah’s maid, Hagar. Oh, the chaos that ensued! The women hated each other, the mother and child were banished to the desert and there is fighting in the Middle East to this very day because of the birth of this child, Ishmael. What if Sarah had let God work His plan in her life rather than getting ahead of Him? What if she had waited a little while longer rather than deciding she knew the future better than the One who had written her future?

You may not understand the road He leads you down. Perhaps God is sparing you from greater sorrow. You may think you know what you want and need. God knows the intricacies of your future more than you ever could. He knows what you need and knows when you need it. Even if your heart is hurting, consider that God may be sparing you from greater sorrow. Roadblocks may just be His way of loving you and sparing you from great pain. Only eternity will tell how much sorrow He has protected you from. Trust His plan and His love for you, even if His plan involves a few roadblocks and setbacks.

-Beth Forbus

 

[Kuawen]

Good morning ladies. I hope that you're all having a blessed day. I wanted to give a prayer request for myself.

As I'm sure some of you remember from when I first joined this thread, I was previously in a very abusive marriage, wherein my now ex husband was fixated on the power he held over me, and through a series of circumstances that still pain me too much to actually write out, he forced me to have myself sterilized with Essure. I'd always known that I wanted to be a mother even when I was still a little girl, and so my ex felt he had to take that away from me.

Praise God who sent my guardian angels here on Earth to rescue me, and His loving hand guided me to my now true husband Josh. It's been several years of healing emotionally, but always with the specter of knowing that there was a barrier keeping us from welcoming a child into our home.

God is so good, and I believe He has shown me that His power is enough to create life where man says it's impossible. We've had 2 chemical pregnancies despite several tests saying that my tubes are completely blocked. But when will we get to hold our rainbow baby?

In prayer Josh and I asked that God would show us His plan for us. Should we continue to try, despite the coils? Or would He provide a way for us to have them removed? Through His grace both Josh and I's families came together, miraculously finding the means to put together nearly $10,000 to send both Josh and I from California to a very special surgical center in North Carolina, with doctors that have the ability to not only remove the Essure coils, but reverse the terrible wrong that was done to me and restore my fertility to (nearly) normal.

I'm scheduled for surgery on December 2nd, we're flying to NC the day after Thanksgiving! I would ask you ladies to please, please pray for us to have a safe trip, and that my procedure may be successful.

Thank you all so much for the support and overwhelming LOVE that I've felt each time I visit this thread. God bless.