Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

[QueenKingfish]

Hi Girls,

The nurse rang me today to ask me again if I wanted to come in and speak about my options. I already know what my options are, to have a d&c or to have a d&c, there isn't a lot to say to someone who has already experienced it and knows the protocol. I don't need an explanation. I told her I would rather miscarry naturally on my terms so I am waiting on time to flip this chapter.

Don't get me wrong, I am upset, but it doesn't hurt like it did the very first time, before we had our daughter, before I knew I could be a mum.
To miscarry over and over to someone who has not yet experienced the joy and satisfaction of carrying a child to term and being able to see them grow. That is heartbreak. And to those woman on here i am speaking to. My heart goes out to.

The pain does get easier, the days do get shorter. And somewhere along the line you will stumble on a moment that is yours. And no one will be able to take that moment from you.


xxx_faithful

May God keep healing your heart and your body. Father, I ask you to make the miscarriage process painless, because your son has defeated death and pain. Be with her and her husband through this difficult time, keep encouraging them and keep them focused on you.

In the name of Jesus, Amen

 

[No Doubt]

^^Amen. I am so sorry Faithful. I know it still hurts, but I am glad that you are handling it well and it does not hurt as bad as it could.

 

[Godsjewel]

Hi Ladies!!!

I just heard from a dear friend of mine today that her 7 month old son needs to have open heart surgery in a few weeks. They are also going to do genetic testing on him, thinking he has Williams syndrome.

Williams syndrome is a genetic condition that is present at birth and can affect anyone. It is characterized by medical problems, including cardiovascular disease, developmental delays, and learning disabilities. These occur side by side with striking verbal abilities, highly social personalities and an affinity for music.

But there are major struggles as well. Many babies have life-threatening cardiovascular problems. Children with WS need costly and ongoing medical care, and early interventions (such as speech or occupational therapy) that may not be covered by insurance or state funding. As they grow, they struggle with things like spatial relations, numbers and abstract reasoning, which can make daily tasks a challenge. And as adults, most people with WS need supportive housing to live to their fullest potential. Many adults with WS contribute to their communities as volunteers or paid employees, for example working at senior homes and libraries or as store greeters or veterinary aides.

Please say a prayer for Gabriel and his mother Lisa, that God would continue to touch his body and give her the strength she needs during this time.

Lisa was like us and had ttc issues, but was blessed with twin boys after going through ivf.

 

[ProfWife]

xxx_faithful - Until that second post I thought you were posting from a Forbes book or devo again. I am so sorry you're going through this again. Praying it happens naturally with no need for a d&c. That's the way it has been for many of my friends. I hope you'll be one of them so you don't need to go through the additional procedure.

Ladies - I need prayer. Envy and despair are dropping into my world again. Yet another couple without fertility issues announced their pregnancy. I'm just to the point of wondering how much more I can take of this. My heart is breaking with the thought that I'm not pregnant already (I may have O-ed this afternoon) because we haven't done EVERYTHING possible as hubs denied that last night. I'm just walking around on the verge of tears again...

 

[No Doubt]

GJ praying for your friend. My nephew has down syndrome and had to have heart surgery at 6 months. It is very scary, but God takes care of His children.

Pro, so sorry you are feeling that way. I pray that God remove those feelings that are not of Him and replace them with exactly what you need. May He keep you in perfect peace.

 

[Godsjewel]

Profwife, first of all I would love to reach through the computer and give you a big hug!!! I've had the same feelings as you have and it does hurt and life doesn't seem fair. I had to get on my knees in prayer and ask God to take away those feelings of anger and jealousy for others. I was like that in the beginning of my ttc years, but after God showed me that we all have different paths in life and that we don't get what we want when we want it, but when He sees fit.

Never in my life did I think I would have to wait 6 years to finally have a pregnancy make it to the 2nd trimester, but I'm sure glad I did. I have learned so much and should get a 'Patience' award once I hit the pearly gates All joking aside, God sees the big picture. I always think back to my birthday in 2012 when I prayed for God to take away the desire for a child if it wasn't His will for me to have one and then I would say, "Lord, I just want one...is that too much to ask?!?!?!" He was probably laughing thinking....oh Sarah, if you only knew what I have in store for you.

I know it's hard, but endure! I pray God gives you strength daily and you will overcome those feelings because ever time you see or hear of a pregnancy, you won't think of poor me, you will thank God for blessing them and know your turn is coming

 

[ProfWife]

That's the part I'm having the hard time with. I'm glad they aren't walking the path that we are (because it STINKS). At the same time, I don't feel like I have any assurances that "my turn is coming." I feel like I'm walking blindly around within that regard. I am afraid to make any moves on anything again. (I haven't been quite like this for a few months.) Like adoption or assisted reproductive medicine...I'm paralyzed in regards to all things except natural conception. It's killing me though.

 

[No Doubt]

Pro I know exactly how that feels. I'll be honest though, it wasn't until I really let it all go and let God that I conceived. I started hearing songs on the radio that would say "let go, let God" or "step aside". Not saying that it happens like that for everyone, but God does have a plan, though you may not see it or have any assurances. Trust and know that God is working. Don't hold back on the things you want to do or places you want to go. Do what makes you happy, do what you can and let God do the rest. After all he is the creator and author of life, not us. We are just the vessels by which He makes it happen.

 

[xxx_faithful]

Shauna Niequist is a Christian author that has recently become a favourite of mine. After spending some time on Youtube I discovered she has also had difficulties conceiving.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1JmdPK7LNuA

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kHnQm5vHEeI


xxx_faithful

 

[ProfWife]

No Doubt, what more is there? I am not temping, only did opks because in laws are in town (wanted to be a little more sure of timing so we weren't obnoxious about needing to go to bed early EVERY night of their stay). The only thing I'm keeping track of is EWCM so I know when to take my progesterone as I am progesterone deficient. The only other thing I can really give up is BD. While I'm sure God is still miracles, I've never noted immaculate conception to be one of them. LOL.

We've let go of everything we can short of not having intercourse. Doesn't mean the nagging thoughts don't plague me...they don't seem to go away...

 

[Godsjewel]

No Doubt, what more is there? I am not temping, only did opks because in laws are in town (wanted to be a little more sure of timing so we weren't obnoxious about needing to go to bed early EVERY night of their stay). The only thing I'm keeping track of is EWCM so I know when to take my progesterone as I am progesterone deficient. The only other thing I can really give up is BD. While I'm sure God is still miracles, I've never noted immaculate conception to be one of them. LOL.

We've let go of everything we can short of not having intercourse. Doesn't mean the nagging thoughts don't plague me...they don't seem to go away...

Like Ebony (No doubt) said, it wasn't until we let go. I was at my wits end with ttc, we stopped all fertility treatments and I said it would have to be a miracle for me to conceive. Four months later is when we got my husbands insurance packet stating they cover 3 rounds of IVF. I seriously felt like I won the fertility lottery. I never conceived on my own and needed help and I knew God had opened the door for us. You know what's crazy?!?!? Today is the one yr anniversary of my 1st positive pregnancy test EVER.

God is faithful my friend. I know from experience in all the years of trying and after 3 miscarriages, He still is a God that keeps His promises. I don't believe for a second that He would let you live your life with your heart desiring to have a child and not fulfill it.

 

[ProfWife]

Well...if insurance is the open door...that's completely closed for us. Our insurance doesn't even cover IUI or fertility meds. They will cover investigations to determine cause of infertility and treatments of hormonal imbalances only. I hate that all the other areas of the insurance are so great...we'd never drop it ;-).

I know in my brain God is faithful. I think everyone in here can admit that's tough to tell your heart when you're hurting. God has never failed me before...but I feel like every month I've been failed with this process. Does it mean it will always be like that, of course not. Does it make me a bad Christian that I'm in this place now? Even Mary and Martha said TO Christ that they felt they were let down by his delay in coming for Lazarus. Did they doubt Him? In ways, but they knew He could have done something without even being there. Was there a blessing at the end of it? Of course, and it was done for God's glory. It didn't change their hurt those four days. I don't think that, even with hope, I'm wrong for hurting. I just wish others who have never been through this struggle would understand that...and that my friends who have been through it and are on the other side would remember how they felt in my place (I've had four friends go through it...they just basically pat me on the head and send me away with the "just don't even try...it will happen" when I think they would have slapped anyone who said that to them when they were in the throws of it).

 

[No Doubt]

Pro I hope that I/We don't make you feel that way as well. That wasn't my intent, I don't think our intent, and I am truly sorry if I did. My intention was more to give you encouragement because I have been there. In fact, very similar to your situation. We tried for two years for Virtue, and we were placed in the undefined category cause all the tests kept coming up normal. We have GREAT insurance that I wouldn't trade for anything and pay a pretty penny for, but in all they cover as far as fertility is trying to diagnose if I was in fact infertile. Once there is a diagnoses, one way or the other, all testing/assistance stops. So I do understand.

And I know it hurts, and I understand that your mind is waring with your heart, and no I don't expect the pain to go away because you believe that God can and will heal and bring life to your womb. I just don't want you to be stuck in place to the point where it has you depressed or worse (been there, not pretty). I still want you to enjoy life, be it childless right now, but still enjoy the other blessings God has given. Not to mention the toll all the streass and aggrevation associated with it can take on your mind, body, sprit and in some cases marriage (been there too).

It's all with love hun, and as always I'm praying for you.

 

[hollydazzles]

Dear ladies I am seeking your prayers. My mom passed away unexpectedly early this morning. I. The oldest of her 3 children. My sister and brother are 17 and 14 and they have already lost their father. Thank you!

 

[No Doubt]

Holly I am so sorry to hear that. I pray that the peace of God surround your family. May there be time to mourn appropriately and may He guide those that will fill the parenting shoes left behind.

 

[HisGrace]

Holly, I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that the peace of God surrounds you and your family right now.

 

[ProfWife]

Holly - I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and those sweet siblings of yours who lost their only parent.


(And NoDoubt - Don't worry...my comments were toward those who just can't understand in my life. I know everyone here has nothing but the best of hearts.)

 

[Godsjewel]

Holly, I too am very sorry for your families loss. I know there is nothing I can say to ease your pain, but I know God can comfort you and give you the peace you need. I pray He supplies all your needs during this time. We will be praying for you and your siblings.

 

[phaedypants]

Faithful, thank you for sharing... I am still praying for you.

Holly, I am so sorry for your loss.

Prof Wife, my heart goes out to you. I notice that you have been on this journey for the same length of time as I have... I started ttc in December 2012, and had one pregnancy ending in miscarriage at 11wks in October 2013. Since then, it has been waves of faith and fear as I have tried to keep my heart set on fulfilling God's plan for me, and tried to keep the love between my husband and I protected from all of the stress and loss and fear. Of course, over these 2 years, many people in my life have become pregnant--some easily, and some after a long struggle, and some quite miraculously.... some couples with faithful hearts, ready for parenting, and some couples who seemed ambivalent living reckless lifestyles.... Each time, I process it so differently, because each life is so different. I struggle with sinful feelings of resentment and envy, but I am grateful that I have chosen to live a life where I stay close to God. He will see when my heart is marred by these thoughts, and He finds a way to wash those thoughts away. Sometimes it is holding another woman's perfect new baby in my arms, and realizing that everything is perfect in the world. Sometimes it is leading me to a passage of reassurance in the Bible. Sometimes it is catching my attention in a moment to remind me of how deeply and unconditionally I am loved by my husband, and how we are already a family who serves God.

I still have fear. It's hard not knowing. If God appeared before me right now and said that I will have one single child when I am 50 years old, then I could probably carry on happily and hopefully for the next 14 years. But I can't know that. I can't know HOW He will resolve this unanswered prayer, but I can know that he WILL.

You can't know how a door will be opened, but you can know that it WILL.

 

[xxx_faithful]

Hi Girls,

This is a message I wrote to a dear friend of mine, concerning my recent miscarriage. She had endo and had a procedure which enabled conception of her first child, she is now expecting her second. She has not experienced a loss however I felt in my heart to let it be known to her that miscarriages are not from God, he will use your story most definitely, but he is not the cause of these things happening.

>>>

Thanks for being there for me and for praying for us. It goes far beyond any word could say and definitely more impacting in spirit then anything a friend could offer.
I guess the first miscarriage in 2011, I held onto the belief that Gods plan is not my own and this may be his way growing me or teaching me something. I had a hard time grieving because I believe God did this to me, and that was hard for me to believe he would enable this sort of pain, and that maybe the God I believed in couldn't be trusted because he could be injust at times.

Meanwhile people would say God has a purpose through the pain. Through the second miscarriage late last year I realised I would of been 2 weeks apart from my older sisters pregnancy. The difference was I again miscarried, while she chose to abort the child God had given her. Was this Gods plan for me to miscarry? No. Was this Gods plan for my sister? Definitely not. But I know he will use both circumstances, THAT he can do.

I have come to the realisation that we don't give the enemy enough credit for his work in stealing, killing and destroying. We ignore his doing, and say what happens to us is apart of Gods plan for us. We don't simply live in a world with pain + us + God, but sometimes we act like that's all we're living with.

So now going through my third loss I realise and strongly believe that I can trust God. He didn't cause this to happen, his heart infact breaks with me. He didn't cause my womb to be broken but he can heal it. He did not unjustly change our plans, but he will find testimony through it.

We are not fighting with God, he is fighting for us.


xxx_faithful