Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

[xxx_faithful]

Some woman write letters to their angel babies, where as I find my peace and closure writing my pain out on paper. Please excuse some parts that may be graphic. Sometimes it is hard for woman to describe their anguish through a loss, however I pray those that may be experiencing the same as me, find comfort in being understood.


"Do not.."
Pray for me, think of me, write to me, share a tear with me.
But do not say it's Gods will.
Do not say its Gods plan and that everything's meant to be.
God makes beauty out of broken things, but He does not make beautiful things broken.

Don't tell me they are just cells, and clots and hell of a lot of blood.
Because I will tell you that these cells are what multiply to create and form my baby. These clots would of made up a perfectly healthy, protective sac to bare my little one. This blood would of nourished and supported his life for 9mths.

Do not tell me when a womb is formed and a heart begins to beat that I shouldn't of been attached, that I should just try again. That somehow my mourning should vary to how far along I was.
The grieving goes far beyond how many weeks he lived.

What is worse, to send off an old life into the sky or the hollowness thinking of a life that could of been. A life that never started. Don't be disgusted with abortion and act like what happened to me wasn't a life that was also killed. Don't brush it off, because the difference with me, is it was beyond my control.

Don't rush me off to better days, but let me be in it, let me sit, let me think, let me breath.
Let me find comfort in my sorrow, to collect my thoughts.
Do not tell me it will be okay, ask me how I'm coping.

This is how I say goodbye. This is how I grow brave.
As my bump begins to sink in, and all pregnancy symptoms leave my body. Do not underestimate the heaviness it has weighed upon me.
Nor should you underestimate my strength.


xxx_faithful

 

[ProfWife]

I think it's beautiful and captures the heart of many of my friends who have also said goodbye to their little ones far too soon.

And I am still praying for you, dear.

 

[cupcakestoy]

Faithful-Thank you for putting your feelings out there. I too suffered a m/c recently. I still hurt. I still grieve. I still cry. The only comfort I have is knowing that Jesus will hold our little one until we get there. Hugs & prayers...

 

[uwa_amanda]

For the last six weeks or so, I have had problems with my foot. With no better way to explain it, I've felt like I've been walking on a golf ball. I figured it was something that maybe I stepped on and was taking a while to heal. My husband and I went on a short vacation last week to attend his brother's wedding in Florida. When we got back Sunday evening, I decided to make an appointment with a podiatrist to see if maybe it's a torn muscle or something. It was all I could do to walk on it without crying. I was literally hobbling!

At my appointment, the podiatrist said he believes it might be a tumor. I ended up going to my local hospital for X-rays today and am looking at a possible MRI next week depending on how my next appointment goes. Please pray that it's nothing more than a simple cyst. If it is a tumor, I am praying so hard that it's a benign one. My husband is a slight bit more worried than I am. Of course, if it ends up being a tumor, I'm going to get a second opinion. I'm not going to just take the first diagnosis and treatment plan. I'm going to make it where I have options...unless both doctors say the same thing. Then I'll pick the doctor I feel the most comfortable with.

I know God already knows the outcome of this and I am at peace with whatever happens. I'm just asking for a few more prayer warriors out there!

To everyone who is experiencing sad times right now, I'm praying for you. I don't really post that much anymore, but I stalk this thread and several others and keep you all in my thoughts daily.

 

[RayeAnne]

Amanda, I'll be praying for you. Keep us updated!

 

[No Doubt]

Amanda praying for healing and guidance for the doctors, peace and calm for you and your husband, and ease of pain and mobility for you.

 

[Aims13h]

For the last six weeks or so, I have had problems with my foot. With no better way to explain it, I've felt like I've been walking on a golf ball. I figured it was something that maybe I stepped on and was taking a while to heal. My husband and I went on a short vacation last week to attend his brother's wedding in Florida. When we got back Sunday evening, I decided to make an appointment with a podiatrist to see if maybe it's a torn muscle or something. It was all I could do to walk on it without crying. I was literally hobbling!

At my appointment, the podiatrist said he believes it might be a tumor. I ended up going to my local hospital for X-rays today and am looking at a possible MRI next week depending on how my next appointment goes. Please pray that it's nothing more than a simple cyst. If it is a tumor, I am praying so hard that it's a benign one. My husband is a slight bit more worried than I am. Of course, if it ends up being a tumor, I'm going to get a second opinion. I'm not going to just take the first diagnosis and treatment plan. I'm going to make it where I have options...unless both doctors say the same thing. Then I'll pick the doctor I feel the most comfortable with.

I know God already knows the outcome of this and I am at peace with whatever happens. I'm just asking for a few more prayer warriors out there!

To everyone who is experiencing sad times right now, I'm praying for you. I don't really post that much anymore, but I stalk this thread and several others and keep you all in my thoughts daily.

Prayers be said for you and your Doctors.

 

[hollydazzles]

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I really felt God's presence so many times over the past week. The parenting of my siblings is thank God something that was taken care of last year. My little brother has been living with us since then and my sister has been living with an older sister on her father's side. The biggest blessing I want to share is the testimony of so many people telling me that my mother seemed different the few months before her passing, that she was happy and growing close to God and had a light about her. All this to say that He truly does work all things together for the good of those who love Him. What a great peace and assurance He gave about my mother, I'll get to see her again! Blessings!

 

[No Doubt]

Holly...that's wonderful. So glad this time is still peaceful and reassuring for you and your family.

 

[sportysgirl]

Faithful, what beautiful words.
I can really relate to this.

 

[cupcakestoy]

Hey ladies! Hope all are feeling well & continuing to trust in our Lord! I'm 8dpo, nothing exciting going on, just loving this Springtime Sunshine. All the new blooms & buds remind me that each ending has a new beginning, we just have to be patient and wait on it. Seems to be the same concept on this Journey......Lord, I pray for patience & perseverance as I wait on your Will to be done in my life. I pray that I remember that your timing is best and far more infinite than my own. I ask you bless each of my sisters who share this Journey with many joys in their own lives. Amen

 

[HisGrace]

Holly, I'm so glad you and your family are doing well.

 

[ProfWife]

Had a negative test at 11dpo. Not sure what the next few days will bring. Might need to do another cycle...not overly thrilled if that's the case.

 

[uwa_amanda]

It's been awfully quiet here for the last couple of days. Everything okay with everyone? Praying for you all!

I go back to the podiatrist on Wednesday and will post everything when I get home from work that evening.

 

[ProfWife]

Still negative, but still having weird symptoms.

BBs hurt, stomach issues, high temperature (am and pm today), slight nausea last few days...not sure what is going on.

 

[QueenKingfish]

Amanda - Praying for your foot and your appointment! If it is a tumor, praying for an easy, benign removal! My ex had a benign tumor in his tibia and had a super easy removal and was fully healed within a couple of months.

ProfWife - Hoping your symptoms are either a tiny nugget of love or that you feel better very soon - wait, how about both!

AFM, trying really hard to keep my mind off of the fact that I'm 12(ish)DPO. Have been super tired, bouts of insomnia (getting up to pee 2-3 times a night isn't helping that), have some strange feelings in my lower pelvis and my skin is harkening back to my 18-year-old self. BUT, since all of those things could be attributed to pregnancy OR the Clomid, I'm trying not to get my hopes TOO far up.

 

[No Doubt]

Hoping that everything works out for all of you ladies how you would like!

 

[Jett55]

Ladies I'd just like to share the good news that we are having a baby boy & he is very healthy thank you Jesus

 

[cupcakestoy]

Congrats!

 

[Kuawen]

Congratulations on team Jett!

AFM I got my first wave of test results back today. I've tested positive for a genetic mutation known as MTHFR homozygous A1298C. Though it's pretty common there's not a lot known about it except that it can prevent my body from absorbing things like folic acid, vit B, and D. It can also cause recurrent miscarriages. I won't know more about my treatment for this until I get to see the RE on April 24th, and I imagine he's going to order more tests for me. Until then it's just a matter of waiting...