Clomid Buddies (moved from TTC board)

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Thanks Lucy. I definitely think we need counseling to help us through this. Add to those stressors his ex wife who he is obligated to pay alimony and child support to regardless of whether or not he is employed (the alimony was calculated from his previous salary and can't be changed - he has 3 more years to go), and terminal illness in my family (my 35 year old sister in law has stage 4 lung cancer and stopped responding to chemo a few months ago and is now on some experimental therapies). I think we have the top life stressors covered: job loss, financial instability, divorce, terminal illness, infertility. We need a break!
 
@Lucy
I've been in the same place. Waiting and putting it off because you hope you won't need it later because you will get pregnant in the meantime and then finally accepting it and making the appointment and suddenly things can't move fast enough!

@Ask
:hugs: that sounds really, really tough. I'm sorry you have to go through much and all at the same time, yikes! This is a hugely personal decision, so I find it hard to give any advice. All I can say is what I think would do in your position - but I'm not in your position so really, if it doesn't sound sensible to you, pay no heed! To me it sounds like you are in a crisis (or several at once) life wise. In a crisis, you should be careful making big changes because you might be making poor decisions since you are stressed and run down. So I would hold off any big talks or changes in the relationship for now and try and get support elsewhere. Therapist, friends, other family. Once your hubby has found a new job, then you can talk things out. It sucks that he isn't supporting you in this difficult time and that might well be something you can't forgive or get over (or not without couple therapy?), but I would make that decision when you feel like you're in a calm head.

Like I said, that's what I think *not being in your shoes*. I struggle to imagine how you're coping right now with all of that on your plate! Vent away, we're here to listen!
 
I'm not sure I explained it all that well, so I wanted to add: sometimes both partners are just fighting for survival and barely make it through each day and sadly, there is nothing left with which to support one another. If that's what your situation is right now, try to get through it and get support from other sources to make it through until you can both breathe again and find each other again.
 
Thanks Fluffy. Yeah...I kinda feel like I need to distance myself from DH a little right now and just focus on other things. It just makes me sad because we are usually madly in love. And he really won't take any ownership for our current struggles. He blames me 100% because I'm reactive. We are both very stubborn but I'm able to admit my faults. He is always a victim. It's very frustrating. I think I just have to accept that he can't see himself right now and hope that things get better when he starts working again. He told me this morning "I don't think we should do
IVF. I think we should keep trying naturally." What?!? Obviously he is just trying to push my buttons and it's working. I need the serenity prayer!

Nore - welcome back! Glad to hear you've let yourself relax a bit! Good luck with the job hunt! Keep us posted!
 
I think you have the right idea, give him some space. See if starting the new job helps things, which I suspect it will. Maybe it won't fix everything, but I am sure it will help. And maybe he said that about IVF because he is sensitive about having been out of work and is having sticker shock re the cost of IVF? I know my DH had major sticker shock when we were discussing IVF and adoption.

I know it's not fair, but try to be the bigger person here at least until it becomes clear if things are getting better, or if you get to the point where you think you may need counseling. <3 :hugs:
 
Thanks girls! I'm starting to feel a little better...maybe bc DH is out of the house for a bit...lol jk...sorta. ;) Thanks for being awesome cyber friends! :)
 
Ask, this would be a very, very difficult situation for ANY couple. And I agree re:IVF, I don't think he meant it in a bad way, but as others mentioned, its expensive, and right now he might be blocked and not seeing any bright financial future.. He might even suffer from depression? I know my hubby would not agree to counselling easily, but I guess from what you have told us: things might change again for the better once he is back working again. Would it be possible for you to go somewhere else from time to time? Just to get some air? I know thats what I did - I could not bear the situation living with my monster in law, but I know it will get better once we find our own place - and if the situation does NOT get better before Christmas, well... we would either have to do counselling (as mentioned, hubby will probably be against) or I will have to make a super difficult decision if I want to leave him..

Don't make any hasty decisions now that the situation is this chaotic - if it doesn't get better when things calm down (after starting new job AND after he has found his place in this new job) - then you can start thinking it over again :) *hugs*
 
Yes Ask, Nore is right, what you are going through would be trying on any couple. What you are going through I think is completely normal given the situation.

Nore, how are things going with you? Are things getting any better?
 
@Ask
thank you :hugs: Things will get better! Maybe he is just saying a lot of those things now because of the stress and you can have a very different conversation when things have calmed down. Either way, focus on yourself and look after yourself - if you need space, get yourself some space.

I've taken my last 50mg clomid tablet today (CD 9), now waiting and hoping for ovulation... did you ladies have any different signs of ovulation with clomid than without? Do you still get ewcm or does it interfere with that? I heard temping can be unreliable and we're travelling this weekend anyway, so I'm not doing that for now, but want to start on Monday in case the ultrasound shows I haven't ovulated yet. Any tips of what to look out for would be most welcome!
 
Hey Fluffy, one thing I will tell you is that if you take OPK's, you need to wait 2-3 days after your last clomid to start taking them. Clomid can cause false positives.

I think my signs and cm were the same on clomid, but I will say that some of my signs were even stronger than they were without the clomid. So be on the lookout!
 
I second Lucy on the opks. Even 4-5 days after my last clomid my opks are almost positive then fade out for a couple days before going definitely positive. I have always been able to detect O with temping. Temps are high on clomid but drop off after I stop taking them. Ovulation also tends to be more painful for me.
 
Hey ladies, I know I've been MIA for awhile. I've been taking a bit of a mental health break from ttc and was scaling back on using this site for awhile. Now I'm back and feeling better about things.

As of now it's CD 26 and no sign of AF yet. My cycles are anywhere from 26-28 days long, so I should know more in the next couple days. If AF is coming I should be spotting later this afternoon or tomorrow. Of course I didn't track anything this cycle and we were only ntnp so I'm not hoping for much lol. I knew when I was fertile though because of all the ewcm and we did BD at least once (maybe twice) on a fertile day.

We went back and forth on it, but ultimately have decided that we do want to proceed with the 3rd (and last) IUI for August. Keeping in line with keeping things as stress free as possible we will be doing an unmonitored IUI with femara. Unmonitored because I reliably get positive OPKs and the last 2 IUIs were timed off of my OPKs anyway. We'll save $300 on unnecessary monitoring costs this way.

Otherwise we have created ourselves a budget and have moved quickly on our debt reduction plan this past month. I'm really pleased that we stuck to our budget! Our plan is to save up for a round of IVF. Ideally I'd like to do IVF in April as that will give us a few extra months to save (won't have to ask family for help!!) and we can really focus in on clean living after the new year as well.

I just feel so much better and more stress free simply having a plan in place.

Ask it sounds to me like a little bit of time away from DH is doing you wonders. I think you'll both need some time to come to grips with this news. It must feel so crazy to finally have an answer! Maybe your DH is freaking out about the idea of multiple IVF cycles. I wonder if it might be a good idea (when you are both in a better place emotionally) to talk about when your stopping point would be (i.e. after how many cycles). He might feel better knowing the plan isn't to blow indefinite amount of funds. Of course there is a very good chance that IVF will work quickly! And you never know, you might get lucky naturally, just takes one good egg and sperm.
 
Hey Belle, I'm really glad to hear that you're feeling more positive about everything (I do stalk your journal too :haha:). I think it sounds as though you have a really good, realistic plan in place.

Ask, I'm sorry to hear that you and hubby are having a difficult time. I think we all know how this whole TTC could sometimes have the potential to drive couples apart, it really is such a roller coaster. I really hope that you are both able to get through this down period and come out the other side stronger than ever. We are always hear when you need to vent. :hugs:
 
Hey Belle, good to see you back! I think it is good to give the IUI another go. I read that 3-4 cycles is generally the magic number if IUI is going to work.

Ladies, does anyone know anything about interpreting the andrology results? They gave us the results but apparently they leave the interpretation to the RE. Looks like things are pretty normal to me, but I am unsure of two areas:

Forward Progression:
0% Rapid Progression
70% Moderate Progression
20% Sluggish Progression
10% Non-Progressive

Morphology: 3L% Normal Forms

I think the forward progression is ok? The morphology seems borderline. They said 4 or more is considered normal. He only abstained for two days; I am guessing the numbers would have been better if he had abstained longer?

Still thinking I am the problem :/
 
I dunno too much about interpretation. Sounds like there are moving pretty decently (which is great!). On all the SAs my DH has had he had 70-80% rapid progression, but I really don't know what "normal" would be considered. The lower morphology may not be much of an issue if there is a high count along with it. There is a lot of conflicting opinions out there right now about morphology and how much of an impact it has. That said, I think you guys will end up being an excellent candidate for IUI! They'll get the swimmers that much closer to where they need to be and they'll keep you Oing while they're at it :)

Well CD 26 is coming to an end and still no spotting. If we are pregnant we'll find out on the day of our 10 year anniversary. I'm trying not to think about it too much because that would just be so beyond perfect. My heart would break. I think my heart will break either way though so... lol. What will be will be, and we have a plan moving forward either way.
 
Oh Belle, that would be amazing. I will keep you guys in my prayers. &#10084;&#65039; And happy anniversary!!!!
 
Thank you Lucy! I honestly feel so nervous. I'm incredibly anxious. Its CD 27 (albeit just the morning) and no spotting yet. It is possible I didn't O until CD 15, which has happened twice out of 23 cycles. So it is possible that I'm only 12 dpo today in which case I wouldn't see tan cm until this afternoon.

This is my 24th cycle (25 if I count the one I didn't ovulate). I feel crazy even thinking that it might have happened.

I have to get through this day somehow. Tomorrow I will test. After so many cycles my test anxiety is incredibly high. I will friggen lose it if its a BFN and I'm still not spotting
 
Thank you Lucy!

CD 27 came and went with no spotting which is something that has never happened to me before. My CP is very much closed. I guess I'll see what tomorrow brings. Will be testing in the AM. I'm so scared.
 
thank you for the tip with the opks! I've never used those, but it's good to know in case I do in the future :)

@Belle
Finger's crossed for you! and happy anniversary :D

@Lucy
I'm obviously not a doctor, but from what I have been explained, those results could be (part of the) problem. My doctor said only category A is really useful, B are "circle swimmers" which don't get anywhere, C just twitch and D show no sign of movement whatsoever. He said if there is less than 20% in category A (which is the case for my hubby), they recommend IUI to support the swimmers.
This is just based on what I was told, so please make sure you ask your doctor about your hubby specifically and if anything contradicts what I said, I'm sure it's me who got something wrong!
Oh and for both you and Belle: My doctor said "normal" for category A is around 40-60%, so Belle, your hubby's swimmers are above average in motility ;)

AFM: Travelling this weekend, will be back on Sunday and then ultrasound on Monday to see if the 50mg of clomid have done anything. :S Nervous! Wishing you ladies a happy weekend in the meantime!
 
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