Clomid Buddies (moved to LTTTC board)

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Hoping for the best for you, TTC!

DH and I are really not getting along. I'm literally sitting by myself at a bar right now because he walked out. Why do I have to be the only one upset by this shit process of ttc? I am so angry. Can't help but think if I had a different (younger) partner I'd be pregnant. I'm just so pissed right now.

P.S. Belle - most of my savings is gift money from my father. He knows we are ttc and has been generous (wedding, birthday, Christmas). DH makes good money but half his salary right now goes to alimony and child support...just pour salt in the wounds! The kids are with us more than half the time. His ex refuses to work and constantly says negative things about me to the boys...which they don't believe. Fun, fun. How was he married to her for 10 years?!
 
Ask, I can't tell you how many times I have wondered if I would be pregnant with a different partner. I think its just human nature to wonder those things. Its also part of why I don't want to pursue advanced testing to find out what is going wrong with us. I don't want to know if it is me (because I would feel horrible for robbing my husband of children), and I don't want to know if its him (because then I'd wonder if I made the right choice with him). Those are just terrible thoughts to have and I don't want to go down that road at all!

I also think its easier for our men to distance themselves from the whole process. They aren't tied to a monthly cycle like we are and don't have to experience the whole physical side of things.

Your DH's alimony situation sounds awful. Remind me never to get divorced. I'm the primary income earner and would hate to have to pay half my salary to my ex! Such a frustrating situation that would be!!!
 
Belle, I think you're right about the emotional distancing. And I agree about the testing. It's not going to change our plan of action really so it's irrelevant. Sometimes I think maybe my doctor is right and there's nothing "wrong", we just haven't gotten lucky. We've both been under tremendous stress the last year and now with the "unexplained infertility" diagnosis looming it's worse than ever. The tiniest thing can set me off which sets him off in turn. I wish I could just "stop trying"...but I don't know how to stop hoping for a baby.
 
In all likelihood it may just be a matter of bad luck for you! DH and I are both younger, have been trying for longer, and have had no pregnancies at all in that time. So I think the likelihood that its just bad luck for us isn't very high. But your situation is a different story!

DH and I went through a spot like that where we were constantly at each other. Isn't this your first year married too? Our first year married as awful, we started having intense arguments/fights around 9 months in (even though we had already been living together for 8 years LOL). TTC, on top of being newly married, on top of moving, and also having step-kids in the mix makes for a lot! It is a lot, and anybody would have a hard time dealing with all of that. So take some time out for you, just for you. Acupuncture was a huge help for me, but maybe massage will be the thing for you, or yoga, or coloring or whatever! Just take some time for you!

And give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that you feel! I went through a phase where I would get raging drunk and attack my husbands punching bag. Of course I didn't do that every day lol, but it definitely helped me work through some of my anger. I went through another expensive phase where I would go on huge shopping sprees, I ended up with a nice wardrobe out of it and secretly take delight in how schlubby my mother friends all are (I know I'm terrible HAHA). Now I take delight in the fact that I'm free to do whatever I want, while they're not. There are benefits on both sides of the fence (whether or not you have kids). Accepting that I can live an awesome life either way has been the thing that has helped me the most.
 
Trying to not get too discouraged here, haha.. 13 dpo and a little spotting (too late for implantation, so guess AF will arrive during the night, like she usually does.. and it would make so much sense with my temp drop)..

Anyway. What to do now?
This cycle:
1. I will continue acupuncture
2. I will continue supplements
3. I will TRY to gather all will power I have and try to do SOME sport or SOMETHING to feel a bit healthier.
4. I leave for the next, next cycle to cut down even more on un-healthy eating, but I will TRY to eat more healthy.
5. I will try to get up at the same time for temping, or .. I don't know.. that might be too hard (If I say f.ex 5 am, and I wake up at 4, well then I'll only have 30-45 min sleep before getting up again.. right? aaargh.. I guess a bit of slack here is ok..
6. Since my point number 5 is doomed to fail, I will rather try a bit harder NOT to drink too much water or coconut water after 6pm (though I get thirsty at night). I will check if there is anything else I could try to sleep through the night. I have already ruled out quite a bit of diseases, as I have struggled with waking up every night since I was very young..

Key word being TRYING, at least for point 4 and 5.

I will also
a) order more things from the UK (chasteberry/vitex, red raspberry leaf tea ++)
b) find prices for u/s at two different clinics/hospitals to figure out where to get follow up..


Oh. And I kinda hope hubby will be back before I ovulate next cycle. It will be so annoying to miss a cycle completely because he wanted to stay a few extra days with his family, haha. I like my family in law, but ok, not so much really.. sisters in laws are ok (married in).. :)
 
Sorry Nore :( No matter how much we prepare ourselves for it, it still always sucks when AF starts to arrive!

It sounds like you are doing a lot this cycle! You're cycles are fairly regular. You could probably skip temping for the early part of the cycle and just temp to confirm O (I'd probably start around CD 10 for you based off your earliest O at CD 13). Temping is incredibly exhausting in its own way. It made me feel like I was doing all of this work and STILL failing. I feel so much better just temping 1 week out of the month.

Are you using clomid or femara this cycle? I do hope that DH will be home before you O! If you end up starting vitex you'll have to let me know how you like it! I'd like to give it a try, but realistically I will only be taking 1 cycle off between the FE and TI cycles and starting IUI with FE, so I guess I would only give it a go if all my treatments fail. We wouldn't be looking to start IVF right away. I think I'd need a bit more time to prepare myself mentally for that one lol.

AFM I'm having tons of ewcm, so the FE definitely didn't reduce my cm at all! Which I was reading it doesn't usually lol, so I'm glad for that :) I think I'm likely on track for a CD 13-14 O. Temping to confirm this cycle. I decided to skip the OPKs because I hate them haha
 
BelleNuit said:
Sorry Nore :( No matter how much we prepare ourselves for it, it still always sucks when AF starts to arrive!

It sounds like you are doing a lot this cycle! You're cycles are fairly regular. You could probably skip temping for the early part of the cycle and just temp to confirm O (I'd probably start around CD 10 for you based off your earliest O at CD 13). Temping is incredibly exhausting in its own way. It made me feel like I was doing all of this work and STILL failing. I feel so much better just temping 1 week out of the month.

Are you using clomid or femara this cycle? I do hope that DH will be home before you O! If you end up starting vitex you'll have to let me know how you like it! I'd like to give it a try, but realistically I will only be taking 1 cycle off between the FE and TI cycles and starting IUI with FE, so I guess I would only give it a go if all my treatments fail. We wouldn't be looking to start IVF right away. I think I'd need a bit more time to prepare myself mentally for that one lol.

AFM I'm having tons of ewcm, so the FE definitely didn't reduce my cm at all! Which I was reading it doesn't usually lol, so I'm glad for that :) I think I'm likely on track for a CD 13-14 O. Temping to confirm this cycle. I decided to skip the OPKs because I hate them haha
Click to expand...

My acupunctur-Dr wants me to temp, so I'll continue I think :)

As for the vitex, I'll let you know, I will only get it when hubby is back though. I will have it as tea (chasteberry) so will brew and brew and drink in a months time :)

Well, regular and regular, haha. 27-35 days, varying LP and O between cd12/14 and cd 19-- ;) I know now a few other girls in Bangkok also TTC, which is nice, and I heard about this looong list of blood tests one of them did, I might do it, just to rule everything out :)
 
Sorry to hear about the spotting, Nore. I'm starting to come around to the idea that it just takes some people longer to conceive, and there really might not be anything substantially wrong. I am not temping or using OPKs this month. We are BDing every other day.
 
Hope you all have had a great weekend! CD 3 for me and began my Clomid/metformin :) Praying I O this cy at the very least!
 
Hoping this is your lucky month, Four!

I have to tell you all about my dream last night. I had a very vivid dream that I had given birth to a baby boy but had no recollection of going through labor. DH told me I did great. I was so very happy with my sweet baby in my dream and couldn't stop holding him and kissing him. I remember sitting with him between DH and I and thinking..."this is what I waited so long for...this is happiness". It wasn't like dreams I've had in the past where there was something wrong with the baby or I had no idea what to do. Everything was perfect. Because I didn't remember going into labor I asked DH when he was born. He told me "November 21st"...and I thought for a moment if I knew anyone born on that date. My brother is the 22nd. Anyway, after I woke up and remembered my dream I thought...that's funny, if I were pregnant this month I guess I'd give birth in November. Well it's not that strange that my brain figured that out while I was dreaming. Then I started to wonder...what would my due date be? So I entered the first day of my last AF in a "due date calculator" I found on Google and guess what? November 21st. Weird, huh?!
 
What an incredible dream Ask! I hope that it means something! You must be getting close to O time am I right? I think I'll O on Tuesday or Wednesday, so we may O around the same time this cycle!

I'll keep my FX for you Four! Good luck and hope you don't get too many SE!

Nore if the extra blood work would put your mind at ease then I say go for it! That makes sense that you're acupuncturist wants to take a look at your chart. Mine agreed that I shouldn't bother with it as it would be counter productive if it was causing me more stress.
 
Exciting Ask, the 22nd November is my birthday too!

Nore, I had implantation spotting on CD 15-18. I usually have a 13-14 day LP. I see your temp has dropped though :( I hope you're still in with a chance!
 
Belle-I remember you mentioned you also take Vit C and E as part of your supplements. Do you take them throughout your cycle, including the tww? I just know we have to stop EPO during tww right? Thanks!
 
Hi Rawan, I take the vitamin E and C all cycle long. The only thing that I quit is the EPO! I only take that one after AF ends until O day

How are things going for you these days? Whereabouts in your cycle are you?
 
Hi Belle,
Thanks! Yeah, so far I know that we have to stop epo in tww...but other than that, I'm still taking my supplements. After adding myoinositol, it didn't change my ovulation date, I still get LH surge around day 12. This cycle I decided to go unmonitored/no meds, because I have one last femara cycle left before the next level treatments...injections/IVF/etc. I am day 13 today...I might have just ovulated, or ovulating tonight...
How was femara for you? Did you experience any side effect? What do you think of ovaboost? How much vitamin C and E are you taking?
BelleNuit said:
Hi Rawan, I take the vitamin E and C all cycle long. The only thing that I quit is the EPO! I only take that one after AF ends until O day

How are things going for you these days? Whereabouts in your cycle are you?
Click to expand...
 
Good to hear from you Rawan! I just started taking EPO this cycle and I'm not temping or using OPKs so I think this is my last day of it this cycle. I O between cd 14 - cd 18 and today is cd 13. Kinda weird not knowing this cycle but also less stressful. I need a break from POAS. :haha:

Glad to see you are doing well, Sarah!

Belle - yes, O should be any day now! My first month of clomid I didn't get a +opk until cd19 (the latest I've ever gotten a +opk aside from that is cd 16). Not sure what happened but the following 2 cycles were back to normal (around cd 14-15 I think).
 
Rawan, my first cycle of ovaboost was a CD 14 O which is pretty good for me as CD 12 used to be my normal! So we'll see what happens this month! If its another CD 14 O then I'll think that ovaboost successfully increased my FP by a day! I take 500mg Vitamin E and C. I'm taking a higher dose of Vit E because I know I have a history of thin lining and its supposed to help with that! Ooooh exciting that you will be in the TWW soon! Are you considering IUI in the near future? I did end up experiencing SE, even on the lowest dose of femara. I had hot flashes, headaches, dizziness, nausea and bloating. That was the most prominent! A couple days later though and I'm feeling pretty good! I'm having tons of ewcm! So I know O must be coming soon!

Ask its so nice to take a break every now and then! I found it really refreshing not knowing exactly which day I ovulated lol. Never in my life did I think I would know my cycles so intimately.
 
Belle-Thanks! I am also taking 500 mg of Vit C, but just 200 IU of Vit E, because I am taking l'arginine...i've been doing some research on l'arginine, still finding mostly good/some bad info about it...but so far I am still taking it. Did you take femara at night? Because when I took it after dinner, I didn't experience much side effects. Yes, IUI would be one of my options too. This cycle I try to relax a bit, no monitoring, no med, and next cycle I will try one last cycle of femara, and if that doesn't work, I will consider the other options. I also tried reflexology this cycle, not sure if it will help, but it makes me feel more relaxed. Good luck this cycle!

Ask-maybe this cycle will be the bfp cycle! Sometimes being relaxed might help a bit! Good luck this cycle!

I am going to be in tww again...in the beginning of ttc journey I was so excited...but after seeing so many bfn...it's just very disappointing...anyways trying to remain hopeful...
 
Anyone tried spirulina? Thinking about buying some and add to my smoothies..

Af came, and with her my usual "I wanna curl up in a ball" -kinda pain.. Sigh..

I found this supermarket I wanted to visit, but turned out they are changing location and closed until March 8th. My luck.
It was called sunshine market, and selling healthy stuff:)
 
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