Clomid Buddies (moved to LTTTC board)

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That sad thing Lucy is that this person had tried for 14 months herself. I think once you are on the other side it is easy to forget how hard it was.

I wouldn't be inclined to describe myself as bitter, but maybe I am. I would definitely describe myself as angry, hurt and resentful that I'm in this situation, so I guess thats the definition of bitter haha. I'm just going to own it
 
I would say you are totally allowed to feel however you need to. :hugs: No judgement here!
 
Honestly Belle, I dont even open up Facebook anymore, I have more pregnant friends than anything else. I am happy for them, but at the same time I am feeling so hurt to know that I am on my peak of fertility years and I cant even get pregnant. I dont attend any baby showers whatsoever, i refuse to. When I get baby pictures I delete them. I know I am a horrible person, but I need to deal with the hurt on my way.
 
BelleNuit said:
The depression and anxiety it can cause are at the same levels as a cancer diagnosis. And yet we often suffer alone or are ridiculed for having a hard time with things.
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I have ovarian cancer and IF... I dont know that id say they feel the same but i do understand what you mean.

BelleNuit said:
That sad thing Lucy is that this person had tried for 14 months herself. I think once you are on the other side it is easy to forget how hard it was.
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My BFFs sister tried for YEARS and finally got pregnant. I would ask her what they tried or did and shed say " i dont remember"... I sure as heck remember the last NINE years of trying!

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I am mixed on announcements. Sometimes they make me want to crawl in a corner and cry and other times i dont care. One girl just announced and it didnt phase me but another girl named their baby the same as my angel baby and i lost myself on that one.
 
OnErth&InHvn, my heart goes out to you, you are dealing with far more than anyone should have to. <3

I posted this on another thread but realized it makes the most sense to ask the question here. I have noticed that since being on clomid my cycles are shorter than they were before. I used to have 40-45 day cycles, but since clomid they have been 35 and shorter.

So I have a thought, hopefully someone can help me test this theory. I have been assuming that because I ovulated earlier this month, AF would come earlier, making my cycle shorter. For example, last month I didn't ovulate until CD 23, and that cycle was 34 days long. This time, they doubled my clomid, and I ovulated on CD 14. So while my normal LP means AF should have come already, I am only on CD 28. But I am wondering if I should just expect a longer LP instead of a BFP?

Anyone else have experience on changes in LP length when you ovulate early? I am so tired of getting BFN's and don't know what to think.
 
Nita, I also have struggled with feeling like a horrible person, or a bad friend for feeling the way that I do, and for avoiding gatherings and such. I have told my pregnant friends, or friends who have recently had babies that I simply am not the person they can go to to vent about their pregnancy/baby problems. I'm not at a place where I can help them. I thought that made me a bad friend, but in all honesty, I know they have other support systems in their life, so I can take a break from it. I can't be everything to everyone and that doesn't make me a bad person. Infertility is stressful and the grief caused by it is REAL, even if the rest of society doesn't seem to acknowledge it.

So I don't think feeling this way makes you, or me, or anyone else a bad person. I think it makes you a human being who is going through something incredibly difficult and stressful.

Lucy its possible the higher dose of clomid improved your egg quality and therefore the quality of your corpus luteum which may have resulted in a longer LP. I won't be starting femara until next month, but I can say that my LP has never changed in the cycles that I have tracked ovulation (15 cycles)
 
Belle, everything you said is so true, and I am also glad that you are open with your friends about it. When I was younger I remember watching my sister lose a close friend, because when my sister found out she was pregnant, her friend completely shut her out and never told her why. Turns out her friend had been struggling with IF, and when she did end up conceiving, her child had special needs. But my sister didn't know any of this, so she couldn't understand why she shut her out. It is weird for me now to be on the other side of this. Trying to keep my chin up as best I can.

I have not gotten to the point yet where I have really told anyone what we are dealing with. I don't really even want people to know that we have been trying. But I have given pieces of info to certain people (my sister) when they make comments about when are we going to have kids, etc. All I told my sister is that I was having issues with my cycle. She was dumbfounded. She said she had no idea, she just assumed we were waiting on purpose.
 
Lucy, like you i have given pieces of info for those who need it. I am definitely not an open book about IF and keep a lot of things to myself. But sometimes I think it causes more pain to keep things in. If someone keeps badgering me about when we are going to start having kids, I have now decided i will tell them we have IF. I expect this will shut them up LOL
 
Once again, everything you said is so right. All good advice!

And when someone badgers you, it does shut people right up when you tell them, lol. I have only had to do this once, but their jaw literally dropped.

And by the way, our timelines, ages, etc are very similar. I am 28, DH 30. Together going on 9 years, married since 2014. I bet you and I get similar amounts of "When are you guys having kids?". :cry:
 
Nita2806 said:
Honestly Belle, I dont even open up Facebook anymore, I have more pregnant friends than anything else. I am happy for them, but at the same time I am feeling so hurt to know that I am on my peak of fertility years and I cant even get pregnant. I dont attend any baby showers whatsoever, i refuse to. When I get baby pictures I delete them. I know I am a horrible person, but I need to deal with the hurt on my way.
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You are Not horrible! You are just frustrated it hasn't happened yet , I am with you on the way you feel . DHs brother and sister in law sent us an invitation to their baby shower , and I told him I didn't have it in me to go , I wouldn't have been able to be happy and excited around all of that . It doesnt help that his aunt is already having her second baby , and his sister wants another saying she is jealous of the 2 of them for being pregnant , I had to leave the room I got so upset after hearing that . Our time will come Nita , I've got everything crossed for you:hugs:
 
Lol Lucy we probably do get a lot of the same questions :) I hope it happens for us both soon. Last night I had a bit of a freak out because I couldn't remember what cycle we were on.... we've been trying so long I actually lost track of the number of cycles LOL
 
Hi ladies. I'm sorry to hear everyone is struggling. I'm probably not much help because I am too. 10dpo today and BFN. There goes any chance I had of giving birth to my first child before the age of 35. I NEVER imagined this would be my life. I told DH we need to start thinking about adoption. Maybe I'm jumping the gun but I feel so defeated. I got more unsolicited fertility advice from my cousin's wife the other day: fertility massage and eat yams for 2 weeks. She is also 34 and has 3 children under 6. I seriously think I might punch the next person who tries to give me fertility advice. I grin and bear it but honestly, I can't be nice anymore.
 
So, today I have my CD21 bloodtest (very nervous about the needle as usual) and I am really not feeling too well, have a terrible acne break out, feeling a bit nauseous so I hope I am not coming down with something again.
 
So I literally have no idea what to think at this point. 15 dpo. BFN but no AF, and, my temp went up again today. I am losing confidence in my Wondfo's though. This morning the first test seemed to be having a lot of trouble progressing, so I went ahead and opened a second one, which ended up having the same trouble. I can't help but wonder. If still no AF tomorrow morning, going to try a dollar store test.

Has anyone actually gotten a BFP after BFN's at 15 dpo? Seems awfully late to still be getting BFN's. :cry:
 
rickyandlucy said:
So I literally have no idea what to think at this point. 15 dpo. BFN but no AF, and, my temp went up again today. I am losing confidence in my Wondfo's though. This morning the first test seemed to be having a lot of trouble progressing, so I went ahead and opened a second one, which ended up having the same trouble. I can't help but wonder. If still no AF tomorrow morning, going to try a dollar store test.

Has anyone actually gotten a BFP after BFN's at 15 dpo? Seems awfully late to still be getting BFN's. :cry:
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I'd try a FRER.
 
So, ladies, I have some good news to share. I am not totally broken, and I will also not be doing the Ovarian Drilling. My CD21 bloodtest results came back as 66 :o whicjmh means that I have Ovulated. Now the problem is, I have no idea when, but my guess would be around CD13/CD14 so I am due for AF in 8 days and currently 6 dpo and officially in the TWW. DH and I only BDed once during that time, and I also had some drinks then, so I highly doubt I will get a BFP, but I will contact my doctor for another prescription, and we will know next month to cut the alcohol (both DH and I) and try harder (BD more often)
 
Congrats, Nita, that's great news! I'm sure it only a matter of months before you get your BFP!
 
Thanks Ask, I honestly wont even be sad if I get a BFN this month. I am really just happy that I Ovulated. And that also explains the acne, I used to get these break outs a week before AF (back when my cycles were more regular)
 
Hey Nita that's great!!! And you were telling me CD 13 was too early :) It only takes once (although you could have fooled me haha) so you still have a shot this cycle!

Sorry to hear about all that unsolicited fertility advice. I wish people would get it that all they have to do is listen and offer support.... Not advice.

I'm not sure what dpo I am anymore, but I'm about halfway through the tww now. I'm not getting excited or depressed about this cycle. I'm trying to accept that it's outside of my control. I was reading that 95% of people conceive in 2 years, so in all likelihood we will all make it there, it just might take longer than we expected it too.

Ask I'm also sorry about not being able to have a baby before you turn 35. I wanted to have my first when I was 27, when I passed that date it was hard for me too. Now I'm just hoping I won't be 29 when/if I finally have a baby.... But in reality I don't care how old I am as long as I can still have 1.
 
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