so just a warning in advance *****doosey alert******
lets see here now.....so to begin with made brief mention of temp separation with DH and with all the current stress betwixt us chose for the peace and happiness of Christmas for the LO's this year....drum roll....the LO's and i sare going it alone. first Christmas ever not spending the morning with LO's grandparents but it is time for LO's and i to make a go of this whole "on our " thing and see what happens. plans for gathering up later in the day though so not a complete hermit.
on top of that, several other connecting moments this last week occurred and worthy of mentioning.
after living in my house with the kids for the last 3 Christmas' and still not stepped out of my comfort zone of 4 blocks and have started making more local friends, while still staying with my guide the trusty neighbor. lovely chit she is, too. anyways....her family of whom also live within my 4 block comfort zone has chosen to adopt me and the LO's into the fold of their generosity and kindness. i have grown quite attached to all of them and feel as though i have a safe haven in very unfamiliar territory.
in addition to said expansion of my family circle....one of the cousins (again with the 4 blocks) has also become a good connection. she has two children that i am going to be undertaking projects with. ***jumps up and down at thoughts of happy distractions***
first and for most on the projects list become a mentor and tutor to a very intelligent, funny and adorable 13 year old girl.
second project is to gain more practice with controlling my temper and making my patients last long for the benefit of everyone around me...babysit incredable (sp) happy go lucky, goofy and wonderfully silly 2 year old girl with an infectious laugh that happens to be little sister to my new pupil. all this for the sake of earning a little extra cash to ease the burden of not yet receiving child support since we still aren't truly sure of the direction we are headed.
and finally, again this very same mother confirmed with me the current possession of a Christmas tree...or lack there of in our case at the moment. upon receipt of said status i was 3 hours later that day informed to be at the ready to gain custody of our very first real holiday tree bought just for us because the likely hood of accruing one on our own was not very likely to happen.
but the blessings don't stop there! oh, no. just getting warmed up!!!!
next a different person whom has become a regular facet of our current existance (again sp) has been kind enough and generous enough to not only bestow upon me a multitude of gently used to never been worn clothes to myself and time to my children and myself in different areas of my home. for example, she has helped to shampoo my carpets on more than one occasion, assist with other house hold chores and meals from time to time, needless to say that she has even gone so far as to give me some extra mommy time into the mix so i can spend an hour or whatever the allotted time is to do things i need accomplishing without the hassle of being at the beck and call of my DD and DS.
then going back to my gloriously supportive neighbor and her parents (big shocker here, also within my four block zone) i now have a place i can go to if i need some mothering attentions for myself, sisters who listen as well as show up with hugs and beer when needed at a moments notice.
after all this and lord knows what all else i have failed to mention that mean just as much to me and are close to my heart....i have accepted the fact the those higher forces up above us all that help to guide our journey of lessons to be learned has smiled down upon me and LO's in this, our great time of need. i am still flabbergasted by the intensity of my blessings and may never even come close to repaying back the kindness afforded me. this is truly going to be the best holiday i have ever experienced and dare i say it may ever have the opportunity to partake in.
i am sorry for the incredible length with which i seem to have written but i could not leave out a tiny tidd bit. i wanted to be sure and post my story so that i might pass on to those of us who are in rough patches and coming through hardships know that no matter how dark it may be at times; and they do get dark...if you keep your head up, eye on the goals ahead of you and your heart filled with hope, faith and love, it does eventually get better and the light begins to shine through. it is there, for all of us and while some of us are worse off than others (mine is bad but could be so much worse), with time and the support of a lovely group of people like those of you putting up with me long enough to read this, and learning to ask for help when you need it....it is there, and always will be. you just have to be ready and willing to accept it in whatever shape, size, or context it arrives in. my hope for all of you on this site and everyone on every thread it carries is as blessed this holiday season as much as i have been. this to me not only is the truest gift of Christmas but also that of human kindness. sleep well all. and to everyone a good night.
very uplifting and inspirational 
