{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[tcinks]

I know there are lots of support threads for ttc after a loss, and they are great. But I'm looking for someone I can talk to on a regular basis that's going through something similar to me. There are certain days I just get so down and really need encouragement. And I would of course like to offer you support, too. You can respond here or send a private message.

I'm 25 , just experienced the loss of my first child 3 weeks ago (Oct 15). They told us the loss was due to a placental infection. My hcg is at 113 and as soon as it is down to 5, DH and I intend to start trying again.

Looking forward to making a new friend.

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CLOSED thread
A group of women supporting and encouraging each other after the loss of our babies, and hoping to each get our BFP!
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Meet Our Group

*Tcinks (Terrissa, from KS) - miscarriage on October 15 due to placenta infection. Baby Ronen was 13 weeks. Still waiting for hcg to reach zero (down from 86000) to start ttc again. At five and a half weeks, still trace amounts of hcg and light bleeding.

*Sil- had a miscarriage on October 21 @ 5w6d. Took two and a half weeks to do from 1900 to 0. Got her BFP for weeks after miscarriage! Looking forward to baby #2

* Zaycain - had a miscarriage at 9 weeks, d&c on November 11. Waiting for hcg to drop down from 56000.

*KTJ (from North Carolina)- mmc at 10 weeks, hopes to start ttc right away for baby#3

*Kdmalk (Kylee) 24 year old bookworm in Arkansas ttc #1. mmc story: Baby measured small, but with a heartbeat at 7+6. Fund out the baby was no longer growing at 8+5 (baby still measuring 6+1 and no longer had a heartbeat). D&C on Nov. 4 at 9+5. BFN 22 days post D&C. TTC following first post-d&c AF.

* Coucou11 (Leigh): 33, DH 41, one daughter, almost 3. TTC #2. MMC - heartbeat at 6w5d. Baby passed away shortly after that. D&C Nov 21 at 12w3d. Waiting one cycle, hoping for a BFP in January!

* Fleur, almost 33, married for 3 years. Started TTC #1 in July, BFP in September, MMC & D&C in October at around 9 weeks. AF came 5 weeks after that.

*Hanrh - miscarriage At 13 weeks, d&c on November 7.


*Kels - had a mmc at 10 weeks; d&c 3 weeks ago. Planning to start ttc again right away!

*NDH (Natalie) ~ Canadian living in Australia. SAHM to 2 girls. 4th pregnancy ended Nov 20 at 10+3. Sac measured 7+4 and baby only 6w, passed naturally. Not waiting to try again and hopeful baby #3 will join us in 2015.

*JLW (Jamie )~ 32-year-old stay-at-home mom to two girls TTC 5th pregnancy, 2 angel babies and 2 living. I Love the Lord and my DH! We've been married for 8 1/2 years, he is a former U.S. soldier training to go into full time ministry!

 

[tcinks]

Anyone?

 

[sil]

Hi! I'm not in exactly the same boat, but I lost my baby at 5w6d and I have seen you post around this forum so I feel like I know you a bit already. We are fortunately already blessed with my DS who is 16 months and are TTC number 2. I too have my down days. My HCG finally went down to 0 last week and I ovulated 2 days ago so we are on our way toward TTC our rainbow. I feel much more nervous TTC this time after experiencing a loss. Do you find yourself feeling nervous too?

 

[tcinks]

That's great! How long did it take to get down? I'm over 3 weeks now and still waiting . :/ But hopeful.

Are you waiting for AF to start ttc again?

I'm honestly not very nervous, just ready to be pregnant again. I'm sure that if I do, my nerves will get to me at some point. But I know that anything can happen at any point that worrying will not fix, so I just want to enjoy every moment.

 

[sil]

It took 2 1/2 weeks for it to go to 0 from just under 1,900. I asked my doctor about waiting, and he said since I miscarried naturally and with no complications that I can start trying again whenever I want to, so we baby danced and I have my fingers crossed for 2 weeks from now. I feel fortunate to have ovulated this cycle. I wasn't sure if it would happen or not since I heard it doesn't always for a lot of ladies.

Although my numbers have returned to 0 I can completely sympathize with the wait. It was so recently that I was taking pregnancy tests just waiting for that negative line to appear and I know how agonizing and frustrating it can be. Hang in there. It'll happen for you soon and you'll get to try again. Are you going to wait a cycle to try?

Also, I am so sorry for your loss (hugs)

 

[tcinks]

I'm not planning to wait at all, my doctor says that she just wants my number down to zero and then we could start.

I am okay today, still bleeding lightly. And we are visiting my sister in law who just had her baby 2 weeks ago. It's so nice to see them but also a little tough. :/ I think it would have been a lot harder if I was further along, but since I was still pretty far from being able to hold my baby anyway, I'm holding it together pretty well.

 

[sil]

Are you taking HPT to monitor your progress or is the doctor doing blood work?

I know what you mean about it being tough seeing other babies. A dear friend of mine is pregnant and it's difficult watching her belly grow and wondering what could have been. I confided in a friend recently about it (other than her, only DH knew), but she is constantly asking how I am doing and for some reason instead of making me feel better it is making me feel worse. I guess every time she asks it just brings up the feelings again.

 

[zaycain]

Hi there! I am hesitant to join because I just had a d&c on Friday at 10 weeks. I am devastated. I am in the process of mourning and healing but reading everyone's stories give me hope!

I don't want to ttc until after my next AF. Which I am assuming will be in the beginning of December. So I might be a little behind.. But support would be immense.

I just told a few friends and of course they were sweet about it.. But people don't really know unless they have been through it. Hell, I was insensitive to it until it happened to me.

Either way.. I would love to join a group as I stalk anyway.

 

[tcinks]

Welcome zaycain

So sorry for your loss. And so recently.

I didn't have a d and c so I don't know what that's like. How is your recovery? And how are you doing emotionally?

And talking to others has been good for me. I didn't realize how common it is and how many women have been through it until I had. So many women from my church and just others that I know all told me their stories about when it happened to them. I never thought it would be me, especially after I'd gotten to 12 weeks, I thought the risk was all behind me.

 

[tcinks]

Oh and Sil, I am doing home tests. My doctor wants me to go back for blood test but I won't until I get a negative at home. Pretty faint today but still noticeable.

 

[zaycain]

Thanks tcinks. Hi Sil. Hugs to both of you.

The procedure wasn't so bad, I had a cystoctomy in February. That was way worse.

Emotionally I am up and down, as I'm sure you can relate. Physically, I'm cramping and I'm still bleeding, but I'm hoping by December I'll be good to go.

Yes.. 12 weeks, you must have thought you were in the clear. I can't even imagine. Mine was a missed miscarriage.. so until the ultrasound I thought things were going real strong since I was miserable with MS and all sorts of symptoms.

How often are you both testing your HGC? I'm just going to wait for my AF.. I hope it doesn't take longer than 4 weeks. When they confirmed the miscarriage a few days before the D&C it was at 56,000. I've read that having a D&C helps the process move faster.

I am hoping for my AF for Dec 5-6th.

Sil.. I hope the next 2 weeks goes fast for you!

 

[tcinks]

I'm testing ever other day or.every three days. I was at 86,000 and last I checked it was 113 last week, so I assume it's less by now. I do not want to wait for AF to start trying. I just want to be pregnant again, and have a healthy baby. My doctor says there's no reason to wait and I don't intend to. Although I heard the the procedure it might be a good idea to wait since there .ight be some scarring or something. I'm not sure.

Was this your first pregnancy? How is your significant other handling it?

 

[zaycain]

I'm actually waiting for timing reasons not for health/medical reasons. I want to have my baby after August if possible. Don't ask. So .. if the timing was right.. I would be seducing my hubs right now!

This was my first. I'm 33.

My hubs is doing well. He's a doter. So at first he was just a little clingy.. but since.. I think he's been better. I think because it's so physical it will last for a long while after.

How about yours?

 

[tcinks]

My husband has been very helpful and supportive in taking care of me physically and emotionally. He took it pretty hard, especially after finding out it was a boy. But he's strong and is doing well, especially since he's been back at work with other things to focus on. I'm not working right now which gives me lots of time to dwell and obsess. :/ So I try to keep busy. I think I'm past the worst if it, but there have been so many days of ups and downs, physically and emotionally. I'm not really having ant pain anymore which is good, just ready for the bleed to stop!!!

 

[KTJ006]

Hi ladies! I would love to join you guys. I had a missed miscarriage at a little over 10 weeks - I was measuring 8 weeks 3 days. It was pure shock as I (like you zayain) was experiencing plenty of pregnancy symptoms and thought everything was on track. I went in for a regular appointment and had an ultrasound where there was no heartbeat. Just a sweet, little baby floating around. I had a D&C that afternoon as I needed to emotionally heal as quickly as possible. I remember waking up crying from the procedure because I knew at that point everything was over. Two days after the procedure I spiked a really high fever, had chills and body aches. Back to the doctor I went where they admitted me to the hospital for a few days. I had blot clots, internal bleeding, and an infection. A D&C is supposed to be a quick procedure but it all ended up being about a week long process. I just got my period today (much earlier than I expected) and my doctor gave me the go ahead to try after this cycle. So we will go back to using the clearblue fertility monitor to track when I O and we will go from there. The best Christmas gift would be to get pregnant again, but even if I do I know I won't be as excited as I should. I will live the entire pregnancy in fear.

I am glad you ladies have told your stories. I am sorry this has happened to any of us. I always said I wouldn't wish this type of thing on my worst enemy. We can only grow stronger from something like this and know that there is a plan for us! I had a miscarriage prior to this and now have a DS. I wonder what I would do without that little guy and know he wouldn't be here if things didn't unfold as they originally did. Keep the faith and hope ladies!

 

[tcinks]

Hi KTJ! Thanks for sharing your story.

I'm so glad I found this site. I never knew anyone close to me who had a miscarriage and had no idea how common it was. I never expected it and was so devastated. It really helps to have other women who have gone through it and can be an encouragement. And it gives me hope when I hear of other healthy babies after a miscarriage.

I'm so ready to be a mom! It's so hard to see other women around me with their healthy children. Or even worse, hearing news stories of parents abusing/neglecting their babies. I just don't understand! There are so many people who would love to love those babies!!
Sorry for that little rant, just saw yet another news stories about a six week old ending up in the hospital because of abuse. It's so sad.

 

[KTJ006]

Hi KTJ! Thanks for sharing your story.

I'm so glad I found this site. I never knew anyone close to me who had a miscarriage and had no idea how common it was. I never expected it and was so devastated. It really helps to have other women who have gone through it and can be an encouragement. And it gives me hope when I hear of other healthy babies after a miscarriage.

I'm so ready to be a mom! It's so hard to see other women around me with their healthy children. Or even worse, hearing news stories of parents abusing/neglecting their babies. I just don't understand! There are so many people who would love to love those babies!!
Sorry for that little rant, just saw yet another news stories about a six week old ending up in the hospital because of abuse. It's so sad.

Yes I just don't understand why this stuff isn't talked about more. It's like there's a "secret club" for miscarriages and you don't know who's in it until you tell someone. I am a big believer that every life should be celebrated, no matter how small, so I found it hard to talk about things knowing it's not as accepted in society.

And totally with you about kids being treated bad. I don't understand those people and why we're in the boat we're in. I guess it's not for us to understand.

 

[zaycain]

Hi KTJ!

Glad we have a little group going. I'm sorry to hear about your infection.

Missed miscarriages are just cruel. I was miserable with ms for three weeks.. all the while it stopped growing.

I'm hoping I'll be in the clear soon and get my period sooner rather than later. Right now I'm focusing on eating better and getting back into my workout routine for a healthy pregnancy.

Let's hope we all get BFP's before the end of the year!!

 

[sil]

I'm excited to have 2 new ladies joining!

tcinks, how are you hanging in there? It is so hard waiting for the line to turn negative. Your numbers jump down so fast at first and then it seems to slow down so much at the end. If it gives you some hope, once my test finally went negative, I ovulated only 3 days later so hopefully the same will happen for you!

zaycain, welcome! Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for your loss. For me, my doctor tested my HCG twice (once when the bleeding began, and once 2 days later) and the numbers went from 1,900 to 400 in the 2 day period. After that things slowed down a lot. Since it dropped so fast the first two days, I assumed I would be back to 0 in just a few days. I took home pregnancy tests to confirm my numbers were dropping, and they didn't go back down to 0 for about 2 and a half to three weeks. Hang in there. It is still so fresh in my memory the stage that you are going through. I lost my little one less than a month ago (October 21). Please feel free to vent/chat all you want about it.

KTJ, thank you for sharing your story as well. That sounds like such a scary time. I am glad that you are physically healing from the infection and seem to be on the path to recovery. I know exactly what you mean about living the pregnancy in fear. I am in my first two week wait since my loss, and half of me is thrilled to be trying again while the other half is terrified to even take a pregnancy test. It plays with your emotions to hope for a positive test for so long, lose your baby, pray for a negative test so you can try again, and then switch back to looking for that positive line. I hope you and I (and everyone in this group!) gets their rainbow babies soon.

 

[zaycain]

Ugh.. waking up is the worst part. I feel so empty and there is still such a void. Bleeding is almost done, so that's promising when it comes to levels yes?

tcinks - did they say there is a correlation with bleeding ends and levels? Are you still spotting?

Sil - What date are you testing on?