{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[tcinks]

Kdmalk, thanks for sharing your story! I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think a reason some doctors say to wait after having a d&c is so the uterine lining has time to rebuild. In some cases the procedure could scratch it/leave it damaged. Doesn't happen with everyone, but I think it's just a precaution. But it is a good idea to talk with your, maybe you'll get the go-ahead!
I didn't have one, mine was natural. My doc says I can try again as soon as my hcg is zero...which seems to be taking forever! Over four weeks now. Hoping not too much longer, DH and I are anxious to try again.

I too was hoping to have my cute little bump during the holidays. I would have been 17 weeks and probably finding out the gender right about now.

It's so tough to go through but my husband and family and friends have all been supportive. And the ladies on this site have been great, it's nice to have encouragement from others who are going through the same thing.

 

[kdmalk]

I think we will probably just go ahead and wait. I've been putting some research into sperm quality... I literally cannot believe I had to say that just now. lol. He works looong hours and most days is either gone when I wake up or comes home after I am asleep, or occasionally both. That makes it extremely hard to dtd. I would embarrass myself if I said how long we went without sex before we decided to ttc (hint: it can't be measured in months). I keep telling him it isn't his fault, but part of me will always wonder if perhaps the fact that his sperm was just hanging out in there for so long meant that whatever did come out wasn't completely okay and caused the baby to have some sort of genetic issue. It takes a few months to completely replace sperm and start over. I have made him commit to regular bd'ing in the meantime (even if it is at 3am!) to make sure we are going to have good sperm when we start trying again. What an embarrassing story! lol. But hey, if you can't say it to strangers on the internet, when can you say it?

 

[tcinks]

Haha! No need to be embarrassed here!

While I don't have that problem, I can understand and know other women who do. It can be really hard to make time for it when work schedules are so hectic! I'm glad you got your DH to agree to more regular DTD .

 

[KTJ006]

Thanks for sharing, Kdmalk. Sorry for your loss. You had a mothers instinct when you felt something was wrong! Still makes it just as hard. I'm interested in what your doc says about TTC again. I had a D&C and my doc said not to get pregnant before you had your first AF; otherwise , the risk for miscarriage again is much higher. They used to say wait 2-3 cycles before trying, but that was just for dating purposes because the ultrasound didn't exist then (so this is old school thinking). Then he said some OB 's have you wait longer just to ensure emotionally you're ok. But overall, once you have that first AF you're 'safe' to try again. Getting your AF means your uterine wall was rebuilt well enough to conceive, otherwise you wouldn't of had a period. So that was the advice I got from 2 of my OBs. Interested in what yours says because I'm sure it'll be different!

 

[hanrh]

Hi ladies. Can I join you all? I've just read though all of your heart breaking stories and I am so sorry for all of your losses! It truly is the worst feeling!

I lost my little baby at 13 weeks to patau syndrome on 5th November. This was my first, much wanted child and I am deveatated! I can't quite believe it's happened still!!! I had a d&c on Friday 7th and am still bleeding, so really wishing that to finish before trying again as soon as possible. I just desperately miss the feeling of being pregnant and want it again ASAP!!

Because of babies condition, we have had lots of tests and are going for bloods ourselves tomorrow just to check there is nothing genetic! Very scary!!!

I'm just praying now I have been through the worst of it and everything will be good from here! Sorry for the long post.
X

 

[zaycain]

kdmalk - Ha. No such thing as TMI on this board! One thing I worry about is getting to obsessed with ttcing which then causes infertility. I hope you look at it as a way of getting closer to each other rather than JUST for conception. It makes me sad you don't have that time to spend with him.

KTJ - Yes.. these tests are already driving me a little batty. Because I have so many I decided to do another one the next day and it almost looked like it got darker! Next one I'm waiting to do next Friday. That should have a little more of a noticeable difference... maybe? Who knows.

Hanrh - I am so sorry for your loss. You and I had a D&C on the same day. I was only 10 weeks, so I'm sure with every week more it just gets harder and harder. I feel the same way that you do. Being pregnant was pretty miserable but I miss the feeling of creating something special with my DH. It will be interesting to see how our HCG levels compare. Do you know where

AFM - I have my follow up appointment 11/25. I got genetic testing on the baby so we'll see what the cause was. I'm not sure how I will feel about that. Did any of you get genetic testing?

I am also making a pledge to get back to being healthy and strong. On Wednesday I'm starting back into my workout routine and doing cycling and barre. I look forward to getting my endorphins up and regaining some muscle. I lost a ton of weight and I'm so weak, I'm looking forward to it!

 

[tcinks]

Hanrh, I hole your testing going well! Let us know.

zaycain, I'm trying to get back into my workout routine. It's so hard with it being sooo cold, I just want to stay inside in bed all day! Haha. But I'm sure it'll help with healing my body as well. And eating better... I used to make green smoothies for breakfast all the time and just eat a lot better than I have been recently. Hopefully I can stick to it again. I may need you to help keep me accountable!

 

[zaycain]

Hah. It's hard to get motivated. It seems that this may help get my mind off of everything. I think I got prego the first time cause u wasn't expecting anything. Now I fear will be obsessive!

 

[hanrh]

Zaycain - oh wow that will be interesting to compare. I'm not sure about my levels. My doc hasn't actually mentioned checking them?! I did a hpt yesterday and it was a light positive. How about you? I also have had genetic testing which I'm terrified about. So scared that it will be something that will prevent us trying again! It's lovely to hear you are feeling strong enough to get back to being healthy. Do you do anything in particular to stay healthy whilst ttc?

Tcinks - we will have to stick together with this healthy eating. I used to have a smoothie for breakfast everyday so would like to get back into that routine again.

 

[zaycain]

Hanrh - I was working out a lot and doing the cycling and barre 4-5 a week. I'm going to try to do the same thing.

I took a hpt on Friday and Sat. It was slightly lighter than the control line. No difference between the two. So I am holding off till Friday to test again.

Trying not to become obsessive!

 

[tcinks]

Well I won't be starting today! I still need to go grocery shopping for all my supplies. I typically had a kale, celery, apple, orange juice smoothie with cinnamon and ginger. Or peanut butter, banana, flax seed and greek yogurt. Mmmm. Now that I'm thinking about it , I'm not sure why I quit making them, they were super yummy!

And at my job I had free access to a gym. But I'm not working there anymore so that part might be tough. Hmmmm. I always try to do home workout videos but it's so hard to stick without motivation of others around you!

 

[tcinks]

I *think* I just got a negative pregnancy test!

The only thing is , I didn't test first thing in the morning. I'm going to test again tomorrow morning and probably go back to my doctor for a blood draw.

I'm so excited! It wasn't even a faint line, just completely white! I hope I'm not excited for nothing. It's been a long five weeks and I'm ready to see a light at the end of the tunnel!

 

[kdmalk]

hanrh- so sorry to hear your story. Hope you heal quickly both physically and emotionally.

As for the working out... I have been crossfitting for a few years (and I'm still a bit overweight even though I have enough muscle now to pick up a house, lol). I was taking it easy during pregnancy, but have really enjoyed being able to go hard again after the loss. It has really offered me a way to exert some of that negative energy. I am terrible at running/cardio (though I'll give you a run for your money with the jump rope), but I LOOOOOOVVVEEEEE lifting weights. I took a big hit to my ego when I had to drop my workout weights after becoming pregnant--but I never lost sight of why it was important to stop lifting heavy, and that got me through. I did attend class less often while pregnant also, so I really need to focus on getting back in the gym 4-5 times a week, like before I was pregnant. The healthy eating went out the window with pregnancy as well. Glad to hear you guys are in the same position. I have GOT to get back on the healthy eating bandwagon--especially if we decide to start trying again in December after talking to my dr at tomorrow's appointment. We should all work together to stay accountable since we all seem to be feeling the same way about getting back to a healthy routine.

Planning to take a preg test tomorrow morning just to see. Line was pretty light last time. Hoping it will be nearly invisible tomorrow. I do think that my cycles are trying to get back to normal though. My cm is moving toward ewcm this week, so at least I know SOMETHING is happening in that department. I went ahead and did an opk this afternoon and it was negative for a surge. I expected this much, but just wanted to check since cm seems to be changing. It just would have been nice to know my cycles are returning to normal. I want to be one of those people that af returns right on schedule 4 weeks after d&c. I'm a little overly hopeful. lol.

Now that I have written a novel, I'll stop typing. Hope everyone is doing well today.

 

[kdmalk]

Ah! I knew I was forgetting some important topic. As far as genetic testing, they never told me whether or not they are going to do any testing on the baby. I kind of want them to, just to know what the issue was, but I also kind of don't want to know--especially if they have the ability to tell me whether it was a boy or a girl. Not really sure if I will be equipped to handle that knowledge. But also not sure I don't want to know if they can tell me. Guess we will just see what comes out of my mouth if she knows and asks me if I want to know. lol. I assume I will find out all of this information at tomorrow's appointment. I'll update after.

 

[tcinks]

Okay kdmalk, you sound like you do some intense working out, don't think I can keep up with that! Haha. I typically just ran on the treadmill or use the elliptical. Or yoga. I should probably do some weight lifting, my arms are sooooo weak! It's just so hard to get started. Once I'm in a routine and have been with it for a week or so, I love working out! Getting there is the problem. I think I'll try tomorrow with something simple. I went grocery shopping and got everything for my smoothies so I'm planning to start that again in the morning!

 

[kdmalk]

Your smoothies sound really good! I am just too lazy to do anything in the morning before work. Maybe I can do an afternoon snack smoothie. lol.

So... upon further evaluation, I am definitely going to push my doctor on the whole "trying again in december" thing if she says everything looks good tomorrow. I am thinking of trying SMEP. If my chances are higher, I really don't want to miss any of this time. Are you guys doing anything special?

 

[tcinks]

That's what I would do. Most of the time there's no real reason to wait, although sometimes if they suspect here could be damage to the uterine wall from the d and c, that might be way. Otherwise, I say go for it right away! Are you taking any supplements or anything to help strengthen your uterus? I've heard raspberry leaf tea is good for that. Don't really know, it's more suggested by midwives and natural health people rather than obgyns, but I've been taking it like crazy!

I don't exactly have a plan like smep, I just intend to start DTD like crazy once my hcg drops. I don't think my husband will have any objections. We got pregnant our first try before, so hoping that happens again!

 

[kdmalk]

I'm not taking anything, but if you say raspberry leaf tea, I'll go for it. I have heard other people mention it in passing. Where can you find it?

 

[tcinks]

You can get the tea or the supplements, I've used both. I prefer the tea, but I'm a tea drinker in general. Any health food store would have them, even some standard grocery stores might. My last batch I got from target. Make sure it's raspberry LEAF and not just raspberry.

 

[kdmalk]

I'll hit up target on my way home from work tomorrow! Thanks for the tip.

And now that I think we are going to start in december instead of january, guess I better get my fast food eating butt in gear and put good stuff in my body again.