{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[coucou11]

Oh Fleur, I understand your worry! That must have been a horrible feeling. I'm sure that won't be the case this time.

Terrissa that's great that you have an early appt with an ultrasound! I hope they hear a heartbeat (but of course if not its no big deal since its still so early).

Thanks Jamie! Glad you are feeling better and good that they checked for ectopic, better safe than sorry.

Natalie how is the bleeding?

I am having no symptoms at all anymore, not that I was having many. I hate this progesterone because it's such a tease not getting my period, when I know its just the medication, not any pregnancy. I'll test again tomorrow at 13dpo. If it's negative I think I will stop the progesterone. I know its risky because I could get a later BFP, but the chances seem so slim that I would hate to just drag out this cycle for no reason.

 

[jlw617]

Oh Fleur, I understand your worry! That must have been a horrible feeling. I'm sure that won't be the case this time.

Terrissa that's great that you have an early appt with an ultrasound! I hope they hear a heartbeat (but of course if not its no big deal since its still so early).

Thanks Jamie! Glad you are feeling better and good that they checked for ectopic, better safe than sorry.

Natalie how is the bleeding?

I am having no symptoms at all anymore, not that I was having many. I hate this progesterone because it's such a tease not getting my period, when I know its just the medication, not any pregnancy. I'll test again tomorrow at 13dpo. If it's negative I think I will stop the progesterone. I know its risky because I could get a later BFP, but the chances seem so slim that I would hate to just drag out this cycle for no reason.

Maybe it's because you're taking a higher dose? but the progesterone has never delayed af for me, just a thought!

Afm-got my results back and I am well within range and hcg is doubling every 42 hours!

 

[NDH]

Fleur. PAL is so difficult. It doesn't help when things happen at the same time as they did previously and you worry everything will follow the same path

Yesterday I just had spotting accompanied by the AF feeling, it had reduced to almost nothing, no spotting overnight, and nothing so far this morning either. Typically breakthough bleeding doesn't last longer than 3 days so it's looking me and more likely that's what I'm experiencing. I hope it doesn't happen again but at least I'll be prepared if it does.

 

[tcinks]

Leigh, that's so frustrating. I hope you get that bfp tomorrow!

Jamie, great news! So excited for you!

Natalie, glad things seem okay. I mean obviously bleeding in pregnancy isn't ideal, but as long as baby is healthy! I've been having some af feelings too, but no bleeding. I'm thinking it must just be a normal part of how this pregnancy will go for me.

I've had such a busy day! Well, busy for me, probably not compared to the rest of you. Algebra this morning, pretty standard. But this evening I had a speech due in public speaking class and I was stressing about it (and still working on it) all day! Right after algebra I had work and right after that was speech class. Usually I don't get scheduled on Tuesday but someone quit and so the schedule got all messed up. Anyway...if I'd prepared more in advance like I should have, it wouldn't have been a problem. But I'm a procrastinator! It actually turned out fine, except I was shaking the entire time. Ugh. Are any of you good at public speaking?!

On top of that, poor dh was sick all day! He never gets sick, and he is a person that likes to be working or accomplishing something useful ALL the time...like never naps or likes to rest. So its been so hard for him to be stuck in bed all day. Not sure what it is, he has a fever of ,101. Flu? Hope not. Maybe it'll turn out to be just a 24 hour thing. I just felt bad I had to be away all day, he's a bit helpless when he's sick.

 

[jlw617]

Terissa-I'm right there with you on public speaking! I shake like crazy and my face is beet red any time im speaking in front of a large group of people! sorry your dh isn't feeling well, hopefully he recovers soon!

 

[tcinks]

had some bleeding this morning...it was mostly brown so I'm trying not to worry. Easier said than done.

 

[coucou11]

Hi all,

BFN this morning (13dpo) on IC and FRER. I'm calling it, will stop progesterone and let nature take its course.

We are taking next month off, and maybe more. Without a doubt these have been some of the hardest months of my life. I just can't take the emotional roller coaster anymore, and I need a break. I wish I could get some control over my emotions but it just seems like nothing will get better until I get pregnant again. I can't keep counting on that though, and I have to try and do some healing some other way.

I want to thank you all for being so supportive, it has meant so much to me to have you guys to share this all with. I'll check back in on you occasionally to see how our beautiful rainbows are growing!! Wishing some of you a very happy and healthy nine months, and the rest I wish for you to have your own rainbow soon!

xxoo

 

[tcinks]

Oh Leigh. We'll miss you, but understand you need to do what's best for you. I hope you are able to relax and enjoy time with your hubby.

If , God forbid, something goes wrong with this pregnancy , I'm fairly certain dh and I will start the process to become foster parents. It's something we always wanted to do, just expected it would be years down the road after we had our biological children. But I don't want to keep waiting, we are so ready to be parents . And if there are children in need we can help.

 

[Fleur828815]

Terrissa, I can imagine how worried you must be but I had small amounts of tan/light brown discharge for quite a few days till 6 weeks. Last time I asked the doctor, and he said brown bleeding (or even pinkish) should not be a cause for worry unless accompanied by strong cramps or pain. I really hope it’s just one of those things and that your scan will reassure you. How is your DH doing today? I’m another one who’s not comfortable with public speaking although it’s part of my job sometimes!

Leigh, thank you too for having supported us through the ups and downs. I hope the break will allow you to focus on other things for a while Do keep in touch!

Jamie, congrats on the good results, hope that you will feel more relaxed now.

Natalie, I’m glad that the bleeding has stopped. It does sound like it could be breakthrough bleeding. Are you having any symptoms? And yes, PAL is so hard, I’m not allowing myself to believe that everything will go well this time, especially since I haven’t reached 10 weeks yet (last time the MMC was at 9.5 weeks). I suppose that if I had had a successful pregnancy before, I would know that it is possible.

 

[jlw617]

Leigh- I will certainly miss you! I hope you are able to relax more with a break, this has also been an extremely difficult time for me as well. Check back every now and then!

Terissa-I really hope it ends up being nothing for you but can understand wanting to foster if it ends up being worst case, keep us updated, you'll be in my prayers!

 

[Fleur828815]

Terrissa, I didn't see your post earlier. I completely understand how you feel I told DH that I don't want to try again if this doesn't end well, and we could look into adoption but he says he doesn't mind adopting the second, he'd just like a biological baby first! I told him that's unfair because it's not his body that has to go through all this.
I really hope that you will have a perfect pregnancy and healthy baby though.

 

[NDH]

I hope no one in here has to experience the "what ifs" of losing another pregnancy

Leigh I'm so sorry Totally understand your reasoning though. But I'm secretly hoping you'll pull a Jamie and rejoin us very soon with good news

Fleur I never have very strong symptoms, but I am definitely feeling pregnant. My face is breaking out, I get occasional waves of nausea, and most importantly for me I can feel my uterus swelling Middle of the night pee breaks too of course

 

[Fleur828815]

I have no idea what a swelling uterus feels like

 

[tcinks]

Fleur, did you decide for sure whether you'll wait until Monday for your scan or go tomorrow?

Kylee, hear anything about this job?

How's everyone else?

I'm starting to think this job may not have been a good idea. :/ I have only been working a little over 20 hours a week, but I'm always so exhausted! Standing around, carrying things, climbing on ladders...it's so much! I know women who do much more manual labor work almost until they're due! How? I seriously felt like I would faint earlier, and I was only there 3 hours. But this is how I was with my last pregnancy, completely worn out all first trimester. I work again tomorrow, then thankfully have the weekend off. I feel like such a baby whining about 20 hours a week of work. If it was a sit down job that'd be totally different.

Anyway, enough of that. I'm so hungry! I'm making jalapeno poppers and fried rice for dinner. Quite the combination, right? And totally not healthy I know. But it's my treat.

 

[Fleur828815]

Terrissa, what kind of contract do you have? It does sound very exhausting. Is there any way you can stop if you feel it's getting too much, especially since it's so physical? As you say, 20 hours doing a desk job is totally different to climbing up ladders and what not! Your dinner sounds yummy, hope you enjoyed it!

I chickened out and cancelled my appointment this morning. I'll go sometime next week.

 

[kdmalk]

Fleur- I totally understand not wanting to go in on a Friday. That just means that when you finally go in next week baby will be even more developed and you will get to see that much more!!!!

T- maybe try to take it easy? Can you like work the register at the shop and maybe sit on a stool during part of your shift? Does anyone know you are pregnant? It might be worth mentioning to your supervisor just so they will be understanding if you need to sit or relax more. Just a thought.

Leigh- don't know if you will see this, but I hate that you are having to struggle with this. I hope you get your rainbow soon!

Jamie- how are you feeling?

Natalie- I agree that there haven't been enough studies on the effects of the scans. But I would just have the tendency to be too worried about the pregnancy not to just check it out early on. That is the part of me that I hate. I would love to be more relaxed and trust my body the way you do. I have been thinking a lot lately about giving birth. I am really starting to consider either a home birth or trying to be as natural as possible. I used to be of the camp that I didn't want to have to feel the pain and wanted an epidural, but I feel like I am having a change of heart. I want to be able to walk around and get up and stuff. And obviously I can't do that if I can't feel my legs. Did you have either of your girls naturally? I can't remember. If so, tell me a bit more about your experience. I know it is different for everyone, but I am curious to hear about how you felt.

Did anyone else give birth naturally before? Why can't I remember this? Lol

AFM- really kicking myself right now. Don't plan to hear back about the job for a while since it is with the government, but also thinking twice now and wondering if it is even the right time to move. We had planned to wait 5 years after buying our house to discuss moving to Seattle and we barely made it 1! Maybe we should stick to the original plan. Idk. With all these preggos around, my baby fever has gotten AWFUL, so we just decided to see what happens this month and take time off if we end up with a bfn. Well... noticed a bunch of ewcm yesterday and was feeling really weird and crampy. We talked about bding last night and we were both just too tired! So we skipped and went to bed. This morning my opk is like neon positive (this is why I am kicking myself). I usually have a barely positive the day before and a neon positive the day I actually O. Totally poor timing this month because hubby is working until late this evening (and on his bday too!) so we might miss it altogether. I NEVER EVER O this early. Only cd16, but I just thought maybe I would check based on the amount of ewcm I had and now I really wish we had just gone ahead last night even though we were both tired. I just assumed I was being nuts because it was so early. I've GOT to listen to my body. Maybe this isn't our cycle. Rant over.

Hope I didn't miss anyone. Zay? You doing alright?

 

[jlw617]

Kylee- so glad to hear from you! I'm fine, still worrying a little about not having any symptoms really but I'm fine otherwise my OB wants to see me at 7 weeks for a scan so hopefully everything will go well with that. I think you should just try to dtd as much as possible today and tomorrow, a positive opk means you're about to ovulate so all bets aren't off yet! I would try to stick with the plan too but you all have to do what's best for you! I never intended on staying in Maryland after dh got out of the army but I guess God had other plans for us I haven't ever had an all natural birth but my 2nd was pretty close pain wise haha, my first I was just uneducated and just automatically thought "doesn't everyone get an epidural?" Haha, with my 2nd I had thought about it and did well up until they broke my water, then I was begging for one-i really think all women have a different pain tolerance as well. I really wish the U.S. offered laughing gas in more maternity wards bcause I would totally go for that option.

 

[Fleur828815]

Kylee, do try today and tomorrow! You might not ovulate till 36 hours after the positive OPK, then you’ve got 24 extra hours after the egg is released, so you’re still in with a chance. Wait and see what happens with the job in Seattle, it might all fall into place – baby or job! Did you do anything for DH’s birthday or did he finish too late? BDing could be his birthday gift Thanks for the encouragement, I really hope I’ll see a foetus next week and not just an empty sac.

Jamie, I’ve also heard good things about laughing gas but it’s not available here. I’m sure my pain tolerance threshold is very low and that I’ll be begging for an epidural five minutes into labour.

 

[NDH]

Fleur- I totally understand not wanting to go in on a Friday. That just means that when you finally go in next week baby will be even more developed and you will get to see that much more!!!!

T- maybe try to take it easy? Can you like work the register at the shop and maybe sit on a stool during part of your shift? Does anyone know you are pregnant? It might be worth mentioning to your supervisor just so they will be understanding if you need to sit or relax more. Just a thought.

Leigh- don't know if you will see this, but I hate that you are having to struggle with this. I hope you get your rainbow soon!

Jamie- how are you feeling?

Natalie- I agree that there haven't been enough studies on the effects of the scans. But I would just have the tendency to be too worried about the pregnancy not to just check it out early on. That is the part of me that I hate. I would love to be more relaxed and trust my body the way you do. I have been thinking a lot lately about giving birth. I am really starting to consider either a home birth or trying to be as natural as possible. I used to be of the camp that I didn't want to have to feel the pain and wanted an epidural, but I feel like I am having a change of heart. I want to be able to walk around and get up and stuff. And obviously I can't do that if I can't feel my legs. Did you have either of your girls naturally? I can't remember. If so, tell me a bit more about your experience. I know it is different for everyone, but I am curious to hear about how you felt.

Did anyone else give birth naturally before? Why can't I remember this? Lol

AFM- really kicking myself right now. Don't plan to hear back about the job for a while since it is with the government, but also thinking twice now and wondering if it is even the right time to move. We had planned to wait 5 years after buying our house to discuss moving to Seattle and we barely made it 1! Maybe we should stick to the original plan. Idk. With all these preggos around, my baby fever has gotten AWFUL, so we just decided to see what happens this month and take time off if we end up with a bfn. Well... noticed a bunch of ewcm yesterday and was feeling really weird and crampy. We talked about bding last night and we were both just too tired! So we skipped and went to bed. This morning my opk is like neon positive (this is why I am kicking myself). I usually have a barely positive the day before and a neon positive the day I actually O. Totally poor timing this month because hubby is working until late this evening (and on his bday too!) so we might miss it altogether. I NEVER EVER O this early. Only cd16, but I just thought maybe I would check based on the amount of ewcm I had and now I really wish we had just gone ahead last night even though we were both tired. I just assumed I was being nuts because it was so early. I've GOT to listen to my body. Maybe this isn't our cycle. Rant over.

Hope I didn't miss anyone. Zay? You doing alright?

Yes I birthed both of my girls naturally. I did have syntocinon/pitocin with my first, which definitely made labour more intense and kept me from being as active as I would have liked as I just didn't have enough breathing space between contractions to regroup.
During her birth I did have a moment where I thought about asking for an epidural, I decided if I was less than 6cm I would ask, and the midwife checked and said I was a 6 so I didn't ask. I had previously decided on a codeword with DH, which was relayed to the midwife, which would mean that I definitely needed pain relief, and gave me the freedom to as for it normally as a coping mechanism. Sounds weird but I felt it worked for me.

Understanding the way the hormones at birth work, and how painkillers interfered with the natural process definitely helped me too. I wasn't doing it for a "medal" or to feel superior to those who do use epidurals, but because I understood that the birth process worst best unhindered. My view of birth is that its a normal bodily function that only rarely rarely needs outside intervention, whereas hospitals and our culture at large views it as an emergency waiting to happen, thus it's often pretty difficult for women who do want natural births to experience them in hospitals.

Those who want a natural birth in hospital I really can't stress enough should really do their homework on providers and find one whose views line up with yours and who has lower rates of inductions and csections. Take childbirth classes like Bradley or hypnobirthing etc that will teach about *how* birth works while providing mechanisms to cope. And then surround yourself with supportive people (consider hiring a doula, or take a friend or relative who isn't likely to just tell you to listen to the Dr if an epi or other intervention is offered for example.) Some will say not to read or listen to negative stories, and if they will make you worry or fear birth then I absolutely agree. But I took comfort from reading negative stories and seeing the process that led to the outcome and, also knowing that I could deal with a less than ideal outcome.
Most importantly, don't consider yourself a failure if you don't birth naturally.

 

[tcinks]

Kylee, so good to hear from you! Oh I hope you don't miss out on this cycle. Get to BDing!

Natalie that's really good info. I am hoping to do a natural birth, maybe even a home birth if I get closer to the end of the pregnancy and everything is going well. The miscarriage just has me so worried that I want to be in the hospital all the time just in case!!

Jamie, thanks for the info about the fish. I don't want to give it up!!!


Sooo I was planning to wait until after my appointment to tell family about the baby, but my mom texted me this morning "Hi baby. I had 3 dreams about you this week , and you kept trying to tell us you were pregnant!" so I went ahead and told them. I don't know how she always knows! She knew with my last one too. And with both of my sisters' pregnancies, before my sister even knew. Crazy. So the cat is out of the bag and we are basically telling everyone. It's early so its little scary, but last time I told everyone I was barely 4 weeks. So I did wait longer