[CLOSED GROUP] ((^,,,^)) Team Halloween ((^,,,^)) (Congrats Cowgirl07)

[LillyTame]

Really?! Awww, I'm sorry. I think it's hilarious! I love the kids that are calm and say it's ok, we'll get more. I want to never give the candy back to the kids that have a full meltdown!

 

[GingerPanda]

I would have been one of the kids that had a full meltdown! It's the one night of the year I got to dress up and get candy and told I was cute for being weird, instead of made fun of. We covered three whole subdivisions. I worked hard and had fun gathering that candy with my cousins. My parents would take the bucket when we got home for safe-keeping (so I didn't eat it all at once and make myself sick). It would have been a total breech of trust if they'd eaten it all! An adult can go to the grocery and buy a bag of candy whenever they want. Most of the time as a kid, it was a big deal if I got my mom to get me one candy bar at the grocery store!

So all I see in those poor kids eyes is "What? I trusted you... I can't believe I trusted you!" Not exactly what I would want my kids to be thinking about me. I want them to trust me. Making them cry for my own amusement is just kind of alien to me.


HOWEVER, these videos go around every year, and most people seem to think it's hilarious. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive because it was my favorite holiday as a kid (I never got made fun of on Halloween) and I desperately want kids to share it with.

 

[LillyTame]

I understand what you mean. And I see the kids that stand out to you are the tortured ones The kids that stand out to me are the well behaved ones that go that's ok, we'll get more next time. One kid even hugs his mom to let her know it's ok, shit happens, we all mess up but I forgive you! That's what I would want to see in my kid. Good sport that accepts that no one is perfect. Not even mom and dad. Imagine their excitement when mom/dad says juuuust joking! That trust is restored, no?

Is playing peek-a-boo or gotcha nose terrible? That freaks some kids out. Usually even smaller kids who you can't explain it's just a joke to. What about Santa Claus and Easter Bunny and tooth fairy?

 

[Fezzle]

I think the ones that do seem legitimately disappointed do break your heart a bit, and I love the ones that you love, Lilly, where they are so sweet or you can see them using strategies to deal with disappointment (which makes me happy as a developmental psychology who studies children's emotions). But some of them just seem like entitled brats who have some real age-inappropriate emotion regulation issues. Good luck with those kids! Maybe this could replace the marshmallow test for self regulation.

With Santa, I had been a skeptic, but even though I never remember a time when I believed in God, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, ghosts, angels, etc, for some reason I did actually believe in Santa Claus. I was so ashamed and pissed off with myself for believing once I found out the truth, and slightly irritated at my parents for 'lying'.

 

[LillyTame]

What is the marshmallow test for self regulation?

 

[txbiscuit]

I think this is a video that shows kids completing it (no sound/speakers at work). From what I remember, the most successful kids are the ones who do something to distract themselves from thinking about the marshmallow. I'm sure Fezzle can explain it better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX_oy9614HQ

 

[LillyTame]

OMG, I love the one that didn't even wait till the lady got out the room! But I think those smaller girls just didn't understand. Gosh, those kids were cute, especially the one at the end that put both in his mouth at once!

 

[MIZZYD]

I wonder how long they had to wait for?

 

[LillyTame]

I was wondering that too

 

[GingerPanda]

Is playing peek-a-boo or gotcha nose terrible? That freaks some kids out. Usually even smaller kids who you can't explain it's just a joke to. What about Santa Claus and Easter Bunny and tooth fairy?

We're not doing Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, or any of the other things parents lie to their kids about. I can understand why people think the candy videos are funny, I think I'm just a stick in the mud because it's my favorite holiday. If they're your kids, do what you want with them. lol

But hubs and I aren't doing that stuff. Even if we tried, I doubt they'd believe it long. Hubs was designing experiments to disprove the existence of Santa when he was 3 years old. And it worked.

 

[Fezzle]

The marshmallow test refers to studies done by Walter Mischel in the 1960s where he put children in a lab situation where they had a temptation in front of them (it wasn't always marshmallows), and had to resist it in order to get something better (usually just more of the item). It was a much more controlled research study than you can see in the videos, with a lot more training first about how the task works, but those videos give an idea. What they found was that not only did children differ with self-regulation and delayed gratification, but also with strategies they used, and correlates with later outcomes such as peer relationships, academic performance and even things like BMI, debt and career success as adults. Walter Mischel has a new book on it all which is along the lines of self-help but describes the research. He's done work to show how self-control interventions can help as well, and has done some interesting work with more at risk areas in the Bronx (the original children were at the Stanford University nursery).

 

[LillyTame]

Very interesting.

I think with Santa type things it depends on our kid if we'll play along or not. If the kid already thinks Santa is real (from TV and peers) then fine we'll go along, but if they don't believe it we won't try to convince them of it. No need for our 3 yr old to disprove it!

 

[Fezzle]

If our child shows doubt, I'm not going to try to convince them otherwise. I would be really happy if my child figures it out or starts showing some critical thinking about things their told that don't have evidence. I don't understand parents who feel sad when their child starts doubting, or who want them to believe until they're really old. I'd be worried about them ruining it for their peers though- hopefully I don't have some know-it-all child who prioritises being "correct" over social conventions.

 

[Cowgirl07]

I was 4 when my aunt asked me if I still believed in Santa, I went to my mom. She said do you think I bought you all the presents I said no. I think I was about 6/7 when I stopped believing. My same aunt still lets her 10 year old get Santa presents.

 

[mara16jade]

I don't like the "I ate your Halloween candy" pranks either. Probably because every year my parents took my candy away because "I'd get fat". I was a competitive swimmer...

But I LOVED Santa and the tooth fairy. My parents had so much fun with it too, that I can't wait to do it with my baby. My parents never forced those traditions on me and my cousins, we craved it. And once I started to figure things out, they let me "trap" or discover Santa and the tooth fairy. I kind of figured the tooth fairy was my mom when I started getting things like: encyclopedias on space, Star Wars, etc. How could a little fairy carry those? Lol

 

[MIZZYD]

I believed in everything for a while. I can't remember when I stopped believing though. I like the idea of following along if she believes, but won't push it if she doesn't, I hadn't really thought about it much so that's a good way of looking at it.

 

[txbiscuit]

My sister told me the truth about Santa et al when I was really little. I was kind of a naive kid, so I probably would have believed for a long time if she hadn't told me. On the other hand I was also somewhat pragmatic, so I never told my parents I knew the Tooth Fairy wasn't real. (Gotta get those dollar bills!)

I think we'll probably be fairly laid back about the whole Tooth Fairy/Santa stuff. We'll do stockings, watch Elf/The Santa Clause, etc., but tell Ellie the truth if she asks. I personally find mall Santas super creepy, so we won't be doing that.

 

[txbiscuit]

Speaking of Santas... When is the Christmas thread reopening?

 

[MIZZYD]

Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LillyTame]

When did we start "Festivus for the rest of us" last year? Was it after Thanksgiving? Guy Fawkes is done, right?

I'll check when we opened it last year.