[[Closed]] Let's ring in 2014 and see those BFP's!!

[frsttimemama]

How did you find that out Amelia? I know it's hard, but don't blame yourself. It's no more your fault than it was my fault that our baby's cord didn't attach properly and got ripped off when my water broke.. and after having 21 ultrasounds, we didn't know that I should have had a C-section. Not. My. Fault. Not. Anyone's. Fault. Just like this is Not. Your. Fault. You can't blame yourself. Things just happen without explanation sometimes unfortunately. I think that's what makes it the hardest is not having a reason or explanation as to why something happens. When I read about it, it says that that the extra chromosome could come from either parent, not just you. And it also said that like my situation, there is not an increased risk that it will happen again. It's a fluke thing that happens in 1-2% of pregnancies, just like my situation with velamentous cord insertion with placenta previa. There is no rhyme or reason. There's no way to know that the extra set of chromosomes came from you. Two sperm could have fertilized the same egg just the same as the egg could have had 2 sets of chromosomes. Nature is quirky. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I don't understand why things happen the way they do, and I wish I had words to make it better. The not knowing why is the worst part for me.

 

[VivianJean]

I had testing done on the embryo. It's xxy so it absolutely came from me. One sperm and one incredibly fucked up egg with extra shit that broke my body and took my baby away.

 

[frsttimemama]

But there are X sperm, too..

 

[frsttimemama]

Either way, you can't blame yourself. Our bodies aren't perfect. Trust me, I get how difficult it is NOT to blame yourself.

 

[VivianJean]

Nope talked to the doc - in this instance the XX means the double was on the mother's side of the fence. Xyy would mean it was the sperm.

This one was all me.

 

[frsttimemama]

I'm sorry. Either way, it's still not your fault. You have no control over it. None.

 

[morganwhite7]

Amelia how the eff do you think YOU can control what your ovary pops out? You can't love and you know that! My placenta detached and killed my baby, doesn't mean I could have stopped it! So many things, totally OUT OF OUR HANDS. And I don't want to say this the wrong way, but imagine if you had carried a baby to term who had severe problems? A baby that maybe wouldn't have made it all the way or needed intensive care after they were here? (I believe) God/mother nature has their way of weeding out the "bad eggs" in which they did for you. I know it hurts so bad, but that was meant to happen. You will get your perfectly healthy little rainbow here soon pretty babe and she'll hang on through it all and be strong. Just give it a moment here, get moved into that new place, and things will fall right into place! Plz do not blame yourself love.. not a dang thing we can control in TTC/pregnancy. Or we'd all say- "BODY: Ovulate the day AF leaves!" Just not possible, so don't beat yourself up

 

[frsttimemama]

Agreed Morgan! Just like I couldn't help that my baby's cord didn't attach to the placenta right and it got ripped off when my water broke. It's awful. I hate it. But I couldn't help it. My situation could have even been prevented with a C-section, but we didn't know. You can't blame yourself because you couldn't have done anything.

 

[TTCaWee1]

^^^agreed. Please don't beat yourself up. I totally get it though. It's natural to feel like its your fault. But it is not. Blame nature. In the meantime, do things that can help your body and your mind. That's why I suggested the royal jelly. Since you feel like it is your fault (which it isn't) why not do something to promote egg health so you know in your mind you are doing something to boost your soldiers? Just google egg quality and supplements. I felt like I had control when I was taking a ton of vitamins. Who knows if it made a difference, but it felt good to think that I maybe had a part of it.

 

[Cowgirl07]

I agree with them. Hugs

 

[frsttimemama]

Still snowed in. We have not seen a plow since yesterday morning. I'm getting antsy. I really need to go to work, but I don't need to freeze to death doing it.. My house is clean. Laundry is done. Bedroom has been cleaned. Had a nap.. It's too cold to even go play outside.

 

[Cowgirl07]

I have to go feed my horses when Dh gets home he doesn't want me walking back by myself to cold.

 

[frsttimemama]

Ugh!! Stupid winter polar vortex blizzard CRAP (yes, I spent the majority of the day watching the news like it was going to help in some way..)! The only blizzard I like is from Dairy Queen! Lol.

 

[Cowgirl07]

Me too. I'm drowning my sorrows in turtle ice cream, take that fifty below.

 

[frsttimemama]

Yummmm!! I'm thinking porkchops and fried cabbage for supper. No ice cream. I did make snow icecream last night -- it was yummy! However, it doesn't freeze well in the freezer so I pitched it. I'm getting ready to drown mine in a cup of decaf coffee.. I'm thinking that 3 hour nap might cause some sleep issues tonight, but I had sleep issues last night going out to start the trucks every 2-3 hours so they didn't get too cold.. Oh well, I'm in the 2 week wait. I can take a Benadryl without worrying about drying up CM. What's done in there is done. TTC woes.. lol!

 

[Cowgirl07]

We will have goulash leftovers probably for dinner. I am just feeling sorry for myself and having some ice cream. We jumped one vehicle today the other was plugged in.

 

[frsttimemama]

I hear ya! I wish my hubby ate leftovers.. but he doesn't.

 

[Cowgirl07]

Not eat leftovers? I would have starved in high school I was always eating leftovers when I packed lunches.

 

[TTCaWee1]

Mmmmmm Dairy Queen....

 

[RobertRedford]

I never eat left overs...OH eats them all before I get around to them!