{CLOSED} We'll be thankful forever for BFPs in November!

[brunettebimbo]

Amelia I'm sorry, those cheap tests are evil, there was definitely a line Your not out yet so keeping my fingers crossed!

STG glad your feeling better

 

[brunettebimbo]

OH and I are still barely getting along. I keep finding myself wanting to be somewhere else. I want my situation to be different. I want a baby, and I want to be with someone who shares that want and desire with me. We're at this standoff and its not going anywhere. There are no compromises being made. drives me nuts.

 

[RobertRedford]

OH and I are still barely getting along. I keep finding myself wanting to be somewhere else. I want my situation to be different. I want a baby, and I want to be with someone who shares that want and desire with me. We're at this standoff and its not going anywhere. There are no compromises being made. drives me nuts.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such troubles, Amanda! I hope you can work it out. Is he not wanting to explore other/new options for having a baby?

I hope so too. Yes, he is really hesitant.

 

[morganwhite7]

^Mike mike mike... LMAO that just crackedd meee upp. Haha.

I'm sorry Amelia.. I still don't think you're out either after the faint line I KNOW I saw.. we all did. But either way, stay strong and don't go anywhere. Take your break if you need it, ttly understandable. But come back again around O time

Amanda- I can't imagine.. him not being on the same page. But I also can't imagine how HE feels, knowing he can't give you what you desire so much. I rly rly wish he'd be more open to discussing it w/ doc bc who knows with all the amazing things they do these days.. there HAS to be an answer to making one of your own. Finding a spermy in there can't be that hard, if he'd just give it a shot (I don't really know whats out there, just being optimistic). Idk if money is an issue but ik there are so many procedures out there to help him. He's just in that spot right now.. embarrassed I'm sure and not willing to let anyone see that. It's hard for a guy, they are so much different than us. I hope things get better for you guys.. I know as hard as it is, try to be extra soft with him to get your point across. I can see where it would cause anger. Tell him you can't get it outta your head and that just a quick doc visit would ease your mind.. haha he may be willing if it shuts you up

Thanksgiving Day feast catered to us at work today so LOOOOVIN' IT!! I am already full, gotta keep pressin on though haha that other half of the mashed potatoes and ham is callin maa naaame. Ooh and stuffing w/ portabella mushrooms.. never thought of this and MY is it it yum. Haha or maybe it's just my baby belly talking, what a garbage disposal lmao.

 

[RobertRedford]

^Mike mike mike... LMAO that just crackedd meee upp. Haha.

I'm sorry Amelia.. I still don't think you're out either after the faint line I KNOW I saw.. we all did. But either way, stay strong and don't go anywhere. Take your break if you need it, ttly understandable. But come back again around O time

Amanda- I can't imagine.. him not being on the same page. But I also can't imagine how HE feels, knowing he can't give you what you desire so much. I rly rly wish he'd be more open to discussing it w/ doc bc who knows with all the amazing things they do these days.. there HAS to be an answer to making one of your own. Finding a spermy in there can't be that hard, if he'd just give it a shot (I don't really know whats out there, just being optimistic). Idk if money is an issue but ik there are so many procedures out there to help him. He's just in that spot right now.. embarrassed I'm sure and not willing to let anyone see that. It's hard for a guy, they are so much different than us. I hope things get better for you guys.. I know as hard as it is, try to be extra soft with him to get your point across. I can see where it would cause anger. Tell him you can't get it outta your head and that just a quick doc visit would ease your mind.. haha he may be willing if it shuts you up

Thanksgiving Day feast catered to us at work today so LOOOOVIN' IT!! I am already full, gotta keep pressin on though haha that other half of the mashed potatoes and ham is callin maa naaame. Ooh and stuffing w/ portabella mushrooms.. never thought of this and MY is it it yum. Haha or maybe it's just my baby belly talking, what a garbage disposal lmao.

bahaha you are too funny. We have amazing insurance, so literally, the fertility treatments cost us nothing. no copay, no costs for testing, procedures. nada. He's just not into it. he has decided that he doesn't want kids right now. I asked him to go just once, to shut me up, and he told me to stop dwelling and obsessing. I give up.

 

[HWPG]

Amanda (RR) - counseling. for you, for him, for you plural. resentment, bitterness, anger, the feeling of betrayal - these things need a space to breathe, to progress, to be expressed.
i an NOT trying to be a doom's day-sayer (or whatever you call it), but my ex started off with "why cant it just be me and you? isnt taht enough?" to opting for a sperm donor, but with the agreement to never tell the child (which i didnt agree with), to completely bailing - on me, on our relationship, on my dreams. there *are* things that are deal breakers in a relationship - this doesnt have to be it. your husband *can* be an amazing father - because who raises you is your parent, not whose DNA you have (ask my bf, he was adopted by his step dad at 2 years old, knew his biological father (even spent holidays with him), and would NOT consider his bio-dad his father/ the man that raised him).
ok, just my two cents, but being at an impasse is no place to be. and also, if you're giving me the middle finger right now for saying too much, i'm sorry. my heart goes out to you, sweetie; i have been where you are.

 

[RobertRedford]

Mirolee, I have a feeling that this will be a deal breaker for us.

 

[goldstns]

Robert- I am so sorry for what you are going through...sending hugs!

 

[HWPG]

i have seen it go both ways. literally. like i said, a huge factor is the work the couples does *together* - while i think the individuals need a place to air out their (insert negative emotions), i wonder if my situation would have ended differently if my ex had been more involved in my counseling. i asked him to come several times; i asked him for couples counseling. you know when he said yes? the day i moved out. and that was that. oh amanda, i hope that no matter the outcome, you can keep your head high. the infertility diagnosis is no one's "fault", but the inability for people to move past/thru/around it - thats where it breaks down. i'm so so sorry sweetie.

 

[RobertRedford]

i have seen it go both ways. literally. like i said, a huge factor is the work the couples does *together* - while i think the individuals need a place to air out their (insert negative emotions), i wonder if my situation would have ended differently if my ex had been more involved in my counseling. i asked him to come several times; i asked him for couples counseling. you know when he said yes? the day i moved out. and that was that. oh amanda, i hope that no matter the outcome, you can keep your head high. the infertility diagnosis is no one's "fault", but the inability for people to move past/thru/around it - thats where it breaks down. i'm so so sorry sweetie.

OH is so damn stubborn that there isn't a whole lot of wiggle room right now. I go to therapy often, but it isn't an option for us as a couple. He doesn't want to, or isn't in the place, to see my point of view.
We've ended multiple conversations on the notion that If I want kids, I need to leave and go elsewhere.

 

[asmcsm]

Ugh I hate that this has been so hard and you and OH's relationship Amanda I really hope that the two of you get to a point where you can talk and work things out. I'm still rooting for the two of you! That being said, I totally understand how you're feeling a bit resentful toward him at the moment and wanting to stay away but I do hope it gets better

 

[RobertRedford]

Thank you, ladies!

 

[HWPG]

i hope he comes around, sooner than too late....
youve always got us! (ha, not great consolation prize )

 

[RobertRedford]

thank goodness..I need you ladies! I would be so lost without you all!

 

[NDTaber9211]

Oh Amanda I am so sorry I think counseling would help tons too but if OH doesn't want to go, there isn't much to do. Until he can open up and really get to the root of the issue, he will just keep pushing you away. I hope you guys can work something out. You both deserve to be happy.

 

[RobertRedford]

Thanks, ladies. I know we'll figure it out, one way or another. And, if this relationship can't withstand infertility, then I do worry about other obstacles that we will encounter. It has been an eye opener.

 

[SmallTownGal]

i have seen it go both ways. literally. like i said, a huge factor is the work the couples does *together* - while i think the individuals need a place to air out their (insert negative emotions), i wonder if my situation would have ended differently if my ex had been more involved in my counseling. i asked him to come several times; i asked him for couples counseling. you know when he said yes? the day i moved out. and that was that. oh amanda, i hope that no matter the outcome, you can keep your head high. the infertility diagnosis is no one's "fault", but the inability for people to move past/thru/around it - thats where it breaks down. i'm so so sorry sweetie.

OH is so damn stubborn that there isn't a whole lot of wiggle room right now. I go to therapy often, but it isn't an option for us as a couple. He doesn't want to, or isn't in the place, to see my point of view.
We've ended multiple conversations on the notion that If I want kids, I need to leave and go elsewhere.

Darn, that doesn't bode well, but I hope he comes around and you can work things out. Whatever happens, we are here for you. I'm just so sorry you are having to go through all this! Sending some prayers your way.

 

[CantHrdlyWait]

So So sorry Amanda.. I cannot imagine the strain this must cause on the relationship. I really really hope he comes around sooner than later. In the mean time, us girls are all here to support you.

 

[frsttimemama]

My goodness Amanda, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you, and I'm so sorry for that. I'm glad you already attend therapy, and we all support you, too, for whatever that's worth.. I hope and pray you guys are able to work through this, and at the very least, that you yourself find a way to be happy.

 

[RobertRedford]

Geez, ladies. You're making me all cry over here.