Just got back from doc: blood pressure is wonderful, they did a NST (where they listen to the babies heart beat and look for contractions) and all was great with baby Alia. Bad part is they are asking me to come in 2x/week for the NST testing...BOO! She said that she doesn't want baby to go beyond 39 weeks because of the deterioration of the placenta because of my GD... so she said she will keep an eye my cervix after thanksgiving, but there is a chance for induction around 3/4/5th of Jan. I said at that rate, lets try to have the first baby of the new year on Jan 1! She said she is working on call that day!
you Amanda!
Wow, Nikki, the time just flies! I can't believe it's getting that close for you! And a Jan 1st baby to ring in the New Year would be awesome,
I hope they can get that date for you if you need induction.
Alia is such a pretty name for the baby, btw.
Sorry you are having to go in for so much testing, though!
Katrina, what a gorgeous gift! Morgan, Miss Marley is so lucky!
So sorry Amanda for what you are going through. Do you think he will change in the future? Are y'all married? He obviously wanted kids at some point or he wouldn't of agreed to TTC. Maybe give him some time. Focus on you two. If it's going to work out it will. But don't marry him thinking it will change until you know for sure. My sister married her husband knowing he didn't want kids. They just started TTC after 10 years of being together and 4 years of marriage and him saying no. It was hard for her. But she knew that going into the marriage. Just don't stay thinking he'll change and don't leave prematurely before you give him time. If that makes any sense.
Thank you..I really don't know. We are married, but we got married quietly more for benefits/tax purposes, and for the real engagement/marriage to come later. I've been afraid to leave for fear of regret. If he does want kids, I want to be the person for him to have them with (and vise versa) but having him flip flop and change his mind has been really hard. It's not a matter of when, its a straight "no" right now, and I don't know if I can handle that.
Amanda- oh hun
We need a girls day seriously. It seems to me that DH is dealing with issues in his own head right now. I mean, I can't imagine how he feels to hear he can't make a baby (we know that there is a possibility he can, but i'm sure he's feeling really down about it). I know I would be freaking out, feeling guilty, hating myself. Makes him feel inadequate probably. I'd just give it time, continue to go to appointments and see if there is a chance he can biologically have a child. If he's unwilling to go to any doctors appointments, therapy, and things like that- then it wouldn't be fair to you to stay with him. I know how much you love him, I just think everything's still really fresh. I think with time you both will heal from this news and he will be more ready to look into options. Sending you all the love in the world hun
Amanda, I agree with Rachel and Cassidy's advice. In addition, definitely work on coming to a decision for yourself about if not having kids is a deal breaker or not, so that if he doesn't come around, you'll know what needs to be done, next. Also, it might be a good idea to figure out how much time is reasonable to wait for the dust to settle and for him to come around, if you decide that not having kids is a deal breaker.
My DH thinks that your OH's reason for suddenly not wanting kids is probably that he's feeling bad about his diagnosis, and I think that's a good insight, and it might be worth talking with him about why he's decided he no longer wants kids (if you haven't already). And I wonder if your OH feels that he isn't worthy enough to be with you if he can't give you a bio child, and maybe that's why he's been so quick to say you need to leave if you want children. If that would be the case, then maybe you can change his mind about not wanting children with you (help him see that you think he's no less worthy and so having a non-bio child is still good, if it comes to that). If it's a case of he wants a bio child or no child at all, though, you may be at an impasse. If/when you talk to him, tell him you aren't trying to change his mind, right now, but you just want to understand where he's coming from, so that if you decide to stay, you can make your peace with it, or if it's a matter of him not feeling worthy, maybe you can convince him otherwise and work things out.
Sending more hugs and prayers your way, Amanda!
I can't imagine what it's like to be in your position, but you are a strong woman, so I have confidence that you will be fine in the end, whatever happens.
??? How are you so close to giving birth already?!
is it like janice from friends?
) Fingers and toes and everything crossed!!!
