Co-sleeping

[heather91]

Just wondering if any of you co-sleep? It's something I don't really know much about so would like as much info on it as possible!

If you do, what do you find are the pros and cons?
Does it help with breastfeeding?
What kind of effect has it had on your relationship with your partner?

Any input/advice/opinions welcome!

Thanks x

 

[Pyrrhic]

I don't know much about it either, and I'm very weary of accidentally hurting her or the bed being too warm or her rolling over, etc.

I've started doing it in the mornings accidentally though When OH gets up to go to work I pick her up and take her into bed with me. She loves it, but I always have a panic that I'm going to hurt her.

 

[Serene123]

I think co-sleeping does help with breastfeeding to some extent. They are always close to you and can smell you. It's also much easier for me to feed her in the night when all I have to do is pop her on my boobie!

As for the relationship with your partner, having broken up now, I must say co-sleeping had no effect and for the few weeks we were all together as a family co-sleeping was a wonderful bonding experience for us all. She would sleep on him or me, and be happy. We could all cuddle and it was lovely. It's a shame things turned sour. I think if all parties involved are comfortable with the decision to co-sleep then it can be a great success.

Having never had her in her bed I don't know if it's better for her to be in bed with me but I decided that I wanted to co-sleep and it has worked for us somewhat. Some people might argue that she isn't sleeping through the night because she can smell me, but she did sleep through for 2 months and it was fine. I think she stopped sleeping through because her brain got overactive.

Pros for me:
Easier to breast feed.
I feel alot closer to her.
It's lovely to wake up to her smiley face.
I get cuddles in the morning now and often wake up with a smiley baby on my boob.
I feel a mutual bond between us, that exists even when we're asleep. We respect eachother and work with eachother so we both get the most out of it.

Cons for me:
I have to go to bed when she does (that could've been fixed earlier though.)
I worry about moving her into her own bed.
She HAS fallen off my bed.
She is very clingy. Not that that's really a con, but it does get tiresome!

 

[ryder]

Lots of people do it successfully, it does help ith BFing in the night as some babies can wake frequently to feed so there is an appeal to not having to get out of bed.

I dont do it, personally it would affect my relationship as we would have no private just us snuggling time. Plus I would not want to have to try and wean a toddler out of my bed later... Some will go to their own bed fne, some people have lots of trouble.

I suggest you read through some of the threads in this section to get a better idea of the stress co-sleeping can have on people... even though they say they love it.

I guess its just all what will make you all happy in the end.

 

[ryder]

BTW, I get lots of cuddles all day I still nap with my baby... that is as far as I will take it though. She is also still quite clingy even though we dont co-cleep, so I dont think that is necessarily a con to co-sleeping, some babies just are.

 

[Chellebelle]

Simeon wouldn't settle in his moses basket at night... and due to me being so exhausted, I spoke to my midwife and she said that as he is newborn, he can't be spoilt and once I get my strength back we can change his routine - so we started co-sleeping with him for the last week. I feel completely aware of him being there and 100% safe, and oh and he feels the same. I actually sleep-walked the other night and took him out of his moses basket and started feeding him in my sleep which I felt was more unsafe than having him next to me.

I know many women feel differently about it... but for me it is the best option for now.

If you do, what do you find are the pros and cons?
pros:
- I don't have to get in and lout of bed throughout the night to breastfeed him
- I find it easier for breastfeeding... as sometimes I don't even have to pick him up, just lay on my side and he latches on and we can both fall back to sleep
- If he wakes up just wanting some reassurance / a cuddle... my OH sometimes wakes up with him and cuddles him back to sleep without any of us hardly being disturbed, or I can just put my arm around him and he settles with ease
cons:
- he lies in between me and oh so I don't get as many cuddles... but I am willing to give that up for a couple of weeks if it means my lo sleeps better
- it probably will be more difficult to get him back into his basket - but I will be ready to face that when I am fully recovered myself
Does it help with breastfeeding?
yes... I find it alot easier
What kind of effect has it had on your relationship with your partner?
So far - probably made us closer as I am not as moody and oh can bond with Simeon more. I wake up often to OH lying with his arm around our LO. I can imagine if we did it for a long time it would be a strain... but we don't plan to co-sleep long term.

I hope this helps. xxx

 

[polo_princess]

We have been co sleeping since Brooke was born, it wasnt something i ever wanted or intended to do but once she was here it was a hell of a lot easier for the first couple of weeks. Now we're all starting to get settled im moving her back into her moses basket

Pro's are its a hell of a lot easier in the night when they are right next to you and you can just roll over and grab them for a feed. (I dont BF so dont know how it works when BF lol) and she will often fall asleep on her own rather than me having to rock her to sleep

Con's are although you get some sleep its not proper sleep, your not in that normal deep sleep because you know they are there. Plus its not great for the closeness of me and my OH, you cant have a nice cuddle when you get in bed lol, and worst of all you dont get any bloody room, the baby gets 50% of the bed and your and your OH have to share the other half

Hope thats helped from my couple of weeks experience, wont be able to tell you much more because im cutting it out

 

[Blob]

I didnt intend to co sleep it just sort of happened after i got fed up of getting up and feeding her and her falling asleep and then waking up as soon as i put her down

The Pros for me are the same as Toria really i just love it, she sleeps so well and i konw if she's too hot or cold ( i put her in a cot last night - it joins onto out bed - and i woke up to her freeezing.. no this obv doesnt happen to most people but it reminds me why i like to have her right next to me )

The Cons I'm not so sure i have any right now, but i guess i also worry if she'll ever sleep on her own and how hard it will be to get her to. Also i do find that its made our relationship different, bedtime was snuggle time for OH and I where as now once i'm finished feeding he's fast asleep but its so nice when you all cuddle and when we wake up and she's laughing away with us in bed which is sooo lovely.

I think co-sleeping is a personal opinion and you will know once your baby is born what you want to do.

 

[mommyof3co]

I think cosleeping is great especially when breastfeeding and I think it makes your bond even stronger. Here is some great info though

https://askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

 

[luckyme225]

pros:
*Only had to roll over to feed him.
*I could see him so I knew he was OK.

cons:
*It took me 8 months to get him in his own room because I was so used to having him in my view (at this point he was in his crib but in our room)
*When he got older we couldn't watch TV in our room at night because he was asleep.

It really did help was breastfeeding.

It had no impact on our relationship, we loved it! We did use a snugglenest in our bed to put Connor in, so I did miss being able to sleep next to my husband but I enjoyed sleeping next to my son more. It was nice bonding time as a family.

 

[heather91]

Thanks for all your input everyone! I think I'll just see how it goes after LO is born but I do really like the idea of co-sleeping. x

 

[cupcake]

I am also one of those who didnt intend to co-sleep but ended up doing it because i just wanted to get some sleep. My baby never wanted to be put down anywhere!! I would hold him to nap, so at night I just wanted to get some sleep and ended up co-sleeping.
pros: got more sleep
lovely bonding experience
dont have to get up to feed.
dont worry about the baby alone in a crib.

Cons: dont get as deep a sleep
still worry about the baby's safety with the blankets or pillows or you rolling over and my baby tends to roll onto his tummy face smushed in the mattress.
no cuddling with my husband
have to go to bed when the baby goes to bed- or put the baby in the stroller or somewhere and then move him
worry about getting him into a crib

effects on my relationship- my husband really misses our time together just snuggling.
or just some alone time at night together

I do love co-sleeping but at the end of the day i think i did it more for me than the baby and that really he should be in his own bed and the longer you co-sleep i am sure the harder it is to get him there.

 

[pixiponk]

Worked for me. Same thing as the other ladies with breast feeding. It did make it easier. I put my daughter on the matress of her moses basket. Didn't interfere with relationship, coz we were both too in love with my girl to notice and she would nap fine on her own in the day so as I/we were instructed we 'napped' when she did if there was need for extra attention. She indicated quite clearly when she wanted her own bed. She actually progressed from the mat into the basket very quickly, and then once she was asleep I could move her out the way (in the nicest way possible!)

 

[Mrs_Nesbit]

I'm a co-sleeper, always have been in the early weeks. But I attach the cot to my side of the bed and gradually get them used to just sleeping next to me in that so eventually everyones a winner.

True you dont get the deep sleep, but then I seem to get even less if I cant see my baby when he's cooped up in a moses basket.

 

[Serene123]

I was definately getting alot LESS sleep when I couldn't see my baby. I was constantly watching her untill Rich was awake to stare at her for me

 

[Pyrrhic]

I was definately getting alot LESS sleep when I couldn't see my baby. I was constantly watching her untill Rich was awake to stare at her for me

OMG I do that too

I have to keep watching her just in case. In case of what I've no idea! I only feel comfortable if I know someone is watching her at all times! lol I'm a neurotic mummy!

 

[Always&4ever]

I have co-slept for the last few weeks and definately prefer her in her own bed, I panic to much that il roll over her. We are now getting her used to being in her own bed, but its very hard.

 

[Chel]

I never planned to co-sleep... in fact, I planned to put him into his cot in his own room from birth.

But after having a cesarean it was too hard to get out of bed three or four times a night to feed and settle him, it was so much easier to keep him in our bed.

He sleeps on my side of the bed, so my hubby can give me cuddles at night, so thats nice and when we want to be intimate Jasper just gets put into his bassinet to sleep, having him in our bed isn't changing our relationship any more than having a baby just would.

You mightn't get into a deep sleep with the baby in the bed, because even asleep your always aware of him, so I only have him in our bed half the night if I can, just to get a few hours of real sleep.

Also, I've heard of LOTS of people co-sleeping and I dont know anyone who's actually rolled on their bub. I've heard of it happening when one or both parents have been drinking or taking drugs, and also apparently smoking or medication can make co-sleeping more dangerous.

 

[Always&4ever]

My best friends mum suffocated her baby through co-sleeping, she hadn't been drinking or anything and it still haunts her now and its been 7years, I'm not against co-sleeping and I haven't heard of many cases of suffocation, like I said, I do it myself, just find it harder to sleep etc if shes with me, well now I panic no matter what lol

 

[Ratty]

I'm against co-sleeping especially from 3 months onwards when they start getting more active and rolling over and also they start sleeping through the night and not needing feeds.

Pro's of not co-sleeping:

I sleep well knowing that he is safe in his cot even if he wakes up and becomes active he can't go anywhere
He doesn't have blankets to suffocate on (he has a sleeping bag)
We don't disturb him when we move
We both get a decent nights sleep because we don't get woken up by the little noises.
We don't have to worry about getting him into his own room.
If he does wake up crying, one of us could go settle him while the other one continues getting rest. No point in both partners having to stay awake.
Can go to bed what ever time we want.
We can be a couple in all ways ;-)

Saying that, I don't think I could have done it without his monitors. I knew that if he stopped breathing the alarm would go off.

If you want the close time, then just bring your LO into your bed in the mornings when you are both still waking up. Its great snuggle time.