Coats

[Natsku]

I expect its just going to have to be a case of trying on many different coats and picking the one which causes the least complaint from her and just putting up with the complaints when they come - "I know you don't want to wear your coat and you're upset about that but there's no other option now"

Maria has suddenly decided that the all-in-one wind and snowsuits are for babies and refuses to wear them so I've had to switch her to over-trousers and coats but she has to wear something outside and if she kicks up a fuss I just tell her that we can always switch back to the all-in-ones if she's not going to behave like a big girl.

 

[xprincessx]

Callum can be a bit funny with coats sometimes so I don't force it but I compromise with him and tell him certain times he MUST wear it and then he can remove it as soon as we have left that area.

For example, he doesn't wear it in the car but once we are out of it he puts it on, then when we have reached our destination e.g. in a shop then he can remove it again once we're in there but must put it on again once we have left and can remove it in the car again.

I find this compromise is the best.

(just to add my DS is autistic with sensory issues )

 

[jd83]

It gets way too cold where we live for it be a choice. They HAVE to wear winter gear. Last winter we had temperatures around -20F at some points. If they are going outside in the winter here, they WILL be dressed appropriately. No choice in the matter.

Sounds like weather isn't nearly as cold where you live, although hitting the freezing point some days is certainly cold enough that she should be in a good winter coat. Maybe its just finding a brand that would be more form fitting, rather than loose, if the looseness is what is bothering her. Does she allow long underwear as a layer, like Cuddleduds? That might help in terms of layering for the cold.

 

[SarahBear]

I've been thinking about under-layers. We haven't tried it yet. Around here, it may hit freezing, but that would be particularly cold and usually at night. Last winter I basically didn't make it a choice if it was in the 40's or below. 50's and above was her choice. I suggested to my husband that we get a more form fitting coat, but he thought the idea was ridiculous because we just bought her a coat (a flimsy thin wind breaker, but layers fit underneath). I think it would be worth trying, but he wants to wait. It isn't cold enough here to worry about it yet. I'll wait until we have a few colder days or a few particularly wet days and see how she handles it. If she handles it poorly enough, I'm going to insist on getting a more form-fitting coat. She may also do better with a warm coat instead of with multiple layers, so I think we should go to the store and try on coats when the time comes for that.

 

[Zephram]

My LO went through a phase of not wanting to wear a coat, but I insisted, dealt with the resulting tantrums and he cottoned on that he had to and stopped making a big deal about it. I think I'm in the minority here, but sometimes you just have to work through the tantrums/fusses about things rather than let the child dictate - cold weather requires a coat, it's a rule for us.

Another thing I tried was to let him go out without a coat, realise that he was cold and come to me for his coat.

If you really think she has sensory difficulties, then that's different, but if she's just being perverse about it because she's a small child, then I would just insist she wears a coat and work through the drama about it.

 

[lindseymw]

My two have various different coats. The main type they wear in Winter are the 3 in 1 type (a fleece & raincoat where the fleece can be zipped inside the raincoat).

If it's cold then wearing a suitable coat is non-negotiable. Jacob would quite happily wear a very thin raincoat if he was given the choice and usually has a whinge when I tell him to put on a suitable coat.

 

[SarahBear]

OK, well we've had our first rainy autumn day and Violet wore her raincoat no problem. Of course it isn't unlike her to wear something for a short period until the novelty wears off... But, for now I am reassured by her wearing it today. It will just be not an option when it's too wet and we'll see how that goes. As far as cold weather goes, we're not there yet with the weather.

 

[belle254]

My youngest is 3 years 4 months and he absolutely refuses to wear anything other than a long sleeve tee when we're out. I've tried threats, bribes, reasoning, nothing works. So after 4 weeks of cold weather, I just take a fleece and coat out with me and if he's cold enough he'll wear them 🙄 X

 

[SarahBear]

It still hasn't gotten significantly cold around here. She's continuing to wear her windbreaker/raincoat OK when she needs to, but she now hates pants and will only wear short skirts. She wanted to wear short sleeves and a short skirt, but I made her choose to wear pants or long sleeves. When it gets significantly cold, we'll have to force the pants and a warmer coat. I'm not sure how that will go, but she's been really sensitive to clothes and messiness on her hands lately as well as bathing.

 

[Pearls18]

No, if they don't put their coat on we don't go out! That's what I say, so they put it on!

 

[Pearls18]

My son also loves his shorts, which I let him wear in the house, but I ask him to change if we're going out (in winter!) he would live in shorts and flip flops if he could, but he was born in the wrong country for that ha.

 

[SarahBear]

No, if they don't put their coat on we don't go out! That's what I say, so they put it on!

That approach only works if your kid prefers wearing her coat to being kept inside... So far it hasn't gotten too cold here and the coat hasn't been a huge deal. However, I am NOT looking forward to when it gets truly cold! I have no idea how she'll react to a new coat or layering under her windbreaker/raincoat. I also don't know how long this aversion to pants will last. Oy!

 

[Pearls18]

No, if they don't put their coat on we don't go out! That's what I say, so they put it on!

That approach only works if your kid prefers wearing her coat to being kept inside... So far it hasn't gotten too cold here and the coat hasn't been a huge deal. However, I am NOT looking forward to when it gets truly cold! I have no idea how she'll react to a new coat or layering under her windbreaker/raincoat. I also don't know how long this aversion to pants will last. Oy!

Not necessarily, sometimes we are going out for my benefit and not theirs so it may be for a chore or something, but TBH as the parent it is my decision to make, not theirs, so it's my way and that's it end of. I remember this post from last year (and I remember it getting a little fraught if I remember) and I just don't understand the idea of kids having that much control in the parents life, my kids may moan sometimes, my youngest has had the odd tantrum, but at the end of the day they know they have to do as I say (obviously I appreciate it's different if there are medical/behavioural/learning diffulties) but basically, we would not be falling out over a coat, it would be on- end of, I don't understand the fuss that has led to two threads over 2 years.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I get her coat,if she wont put it on I just hold it...she soon gets cold after being out 10mins and puts it on...if she doesnt then fair enough. 9 times out of 10 she just puts it on after a couple of mins outside.

 

[SarahBear]

The "fuss" that has led to two posts over two years is because it's clearly not a phase and it's clearly not something that can be fixed just by being firm. I'm actually going to ask the pediatrician about OT (occupational therapy) at her next appointment. Lately, the coat hasn't been a huge deal because it hasn't been that cold and she's actually OK with the jacket we have right now... for now! But she does not currently own a warm jacket and she won't wear her sweatshirt lately. On top of that, pants now cause a meltdown. For a super long time she was absolutely fine with pajama pants and then she became more picky and preferred leggings and tights. Now she absolutely hates all forms of long pants, tights, and leggings. She has meltdowns over them and is constantly asking me to do the laundry so her two skirts that she'll wear are clean and dry. At home she will go around in just underwear or a sleep suit over wearing reasonable clothing even though it's not very warm here. So the coat issue is somewhat on hold right now. The current issue is pants. Give it another month or two though and the coat issue will likely come up... and the pants issue will be a bigger issue... I might just have to put her skirts away when the real cold weather comes. Hopefully she finds something she'll be willing to wear.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

None of my daughters will wear jeans. My son only wears 1 top and 1 bottoms. Every. Single. Day.

 

[BunnyN]

No, if they don't put their coat on we don't go out! That's what I say, so they put it on!

That approach only works if your kid prefers wearing her coat to being kept inside... So far it hasn't gotten too cold here and the coat hasn't been a huge deal. However, I am NOT looking forward to when it gets truly cold! I have no idea how she'll react to a new coat or layering under her windbreaker/raincoat. I also don't know how long this aversion to pants will last. Oy!

Not necessarily, sometimes we are going out for my benefit and not theirs so it may be for a chore or something, but TBH as the parent it is my decision to make, not theirs, so it's my way and that's it end of. I remember this post from last year (and I remember it getting a little fraught if I remember) and I just don't understand the idea of kids having that much control in the parents life, my kids may moan sometimes, my youngest has had the odd tantrum, but at the end of the day they know they have to do as I say (obviously I appreciate it's different if there are medical/behavioural/learning diffulties) but basically, we would not be falling out over a coat, it would be on- end of, I don't understand the fuss that has led to two threads over 2 years.

Don't be too quick to judge. This is how I used to think, then I had a child who is has sensory issues. My youngest will complain a bit but he gets over it DD on the other hand will go into complete meldown mode if she finds something uncomfortable. I am currently tying to get her into long sleaves for the winter, never mind coats . I used to try and be strict about it but it just didnt work. I have realised that I need to have some firmness but I also have to show her some understanding as it is genuinely hard for her. Saying we wont go out until she agrees to a coat would just mean she stayed inside for a month. She loves nothing more than playing outside, but she hates coats more.

Callum can be a bit funny with coats sometimes so I don't force it but I compromise with him and tell him certain times he MUST wear it and then he can remove it as soon as we have left that area.

For example, he doesn't wear it in the car but once we are out of it he puts it on, then when we have reached our destination e.g. in a shop then he can remove it again once we're in there but must put it on again once we have left and can remove it in the car again.

I find this compromise is the best.

(just to add my DS is autistic with sensory issues )

An aproach something like this is the best I have found although we are currently doing it with a lightweight soft cotton cardigan.

 

[Pearls18]

Well to be fair I did state unless there are other issues at play which sounds like it could be if you are wanting to raise it with a medical professional.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Yes, having a child with actual sensory issues takes it to a whole new level. Its actual distress for them to wear certain things.

 

[SarahBear]

Yes, having a child with actual sensory issues takes it to a whole new level. Its actual distress for them to wear certain things.

And that's what I'm seeing. This morning we had a big issue because her skirt that she has deemed wearable, was in the laundry. She was clearly distressed and fighting to hold it together while I laid out her options for her: shorts, pants, shorts and leg warmers. She ABSOLUTELY refused every option and appeared significantly distressed. After firmly establishing which things were OK and which things were not, I told her I was going to check on her after taking a shower to see what she had chosen. After my shower, she had selected a long sleeve shirt and a pair of shorts. It's so bizarre how she was so anti-shorts for SOOO long and now she can't stand pants. She has issues with shirts too, but today was OK. Also issues with socks, but we just don't make her wear those so that solves that problem... except for the smell it causes.

Oh, and the temperature dropped today. Winter is clearly on its way now. So, we'll see how she handles that. To be clear though, we live in a moderate climate and dressing in shorts is more of a comfort issue than a safety issue. It isn't literally freezing or anything.