Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[ticking.clock]

Sorry the pics are showing funny will post them when I'm on my laptop later x

 

[ticking.clock]

I feel lonely. DH is away on business and I haven't had any donations for 3 days because he has been too busy with his work and family It wasn't like that at first because he would come over everyday and help me

But he did tell me that he has my donation party all set for tomorrow and I don't know exactly how many but should be a lot of I'm so excited and only wish DH could be there so he and I could hug and hold each other after they are done ejaculating into me

I just know I am going to get my this time

I did NI, and even to me this sounds VERY odd!!!!
I admit I had sex with my donor once when I was not fertile, but this was after I lost my first donor baby and I was scared to have sex again, as I'd had an op and was freaking out it was going to hurt.
I was single at the time so there was no harm in it, and it was more for my emotional well being TBH,
But something about this post does not sit right with me

 

[ebelle]

Hey, Lisa, I think everyone here is simply concerned for you and your wellbeing. I hope you will take what we have said into consideration and see if this Ni party is really what you want.

Secrets with your Dh truly do not sound good. And a baby born from a secret encounter sounds scary.

 

[MrsMM24]

Hi LISA,

I know that I have not responded much to your posts as I am cautiously pregnant and worried on a whole other level. However, I have read many of your posts and not known exactly what to say or how to react. In this case, as many already have, I want to throw out some concern. I am very married so NI would not be an option for me, but I know a few women on BnB that do NI and not once have I been concerned with their decision. I know that each woman that joins BnB wants a baby greatly... but an "NI party" sounds VERY "dangerous" and suspicious. ESPECIALLY since DH will not be there to protect or be a part of the conception of his child. I think that your donor is great for wanting to help, and you have mentioned that you have gotten agreements from your donor (which someone already tried pointing out only holds weight in certain states) but there doesn't seem to be screenings, or contracts between you and the others that will be attending.

If you are not totally concerned with your own well being, maybe thinking about DH and the unborn child will resonate with you. You must think about the idea that if you do conceive, any one of them can come back and ask for testing in order to stake a claim to the child. This would not only be detrimental to the child but also to your DH who if he doesn't know beforehand, will then know you went behind his back. I do know that marriages can withstand many things, but I know some cannot. I think that you should take a step back and think about the other issues before going forward with the party. There are sooooo many things of concern that many of us can point out, but it only matters what's being pointed at if you care or put care into those things. I wish you luck, strength, and wisdom as you make your future decisions in your quest for a baby.

 

[Juniperjules]

Here is some pics of my lil girl

Wow thanks for sharing ur pic with us... The miracle of a baby growing in its mothers womb will never cease to amaze & astound me.. It's beautiful! Enjoy this time x

 

[faithbabies]

hey ladies! i've been lurking but trying to keep my distance so i dont obsess over these boards! donations start today....i didnt use opk's the last couple of months because i thought it added stress but since i didnt get a bfp i decided to go back to opk's this month and it looks like i may get my positive tonite as the line is getting darker like it usually does right before it gets positive. donor supposed to drop off his swimmers sometime today...fixing to text him
Cheryl....how are ya feeling?

Lisa...your post concerns me as well...all the ladies here voiced my concerns too...we just want you to be safe in your babymaking journey.

ticking...what a sweet girl!

to everyone else!!

 

[laurac1988]

3dpo over here... Crazy burning bbs. Never been so sore! Also quite crampy and nauseous, but I think that might still be metformin side effects

 

[whlisa19]

Here is some pics of my lil girl

Wow thanks for sharing ur pic with us... The miracle of a baby growing in its mothers womb will never cease to amaze & astound me.. It's beautiful! Enjoy this time x

amazing congrats

that's what i what, so bad
thanks everyone for your concerns

he gave me the list this morning, him and 2 other guys. everyone has been STD cleared and my counsyl test was zero so i feel good about the inseminations being safe and for a healthy pregnancy

and i don't have to do a thing, everything is taken care of. jacuzzi, wine and cheese, then i know that being 19 makes me sound impatient but i have wanted a baby for soooooo long. i know i am going to get it this time

 

[LeahMSta]

Hello all. We are pluggin along through our 2nd cycle of SMEP. Tonight is our 2nd donation of the month. I'm a smidge upset because our donor's gf (who currently is living out of state.) is here to visit today and although he says that the are all ours, I have a hard time trusting that after months apart they aren't going to . I know it is a bit absurd but I just want this cycle to be our so much for DW. We need all of the help we can get. Am I being ridiculous? He is our friend. I should be happy that he gets to spend time with the woman he loves and their that she is carrying but I'm so tied up in TTC that I can't be. I feel like a bad friend.

Lisa: I am just gonna say that I agree with the concerns that everyone else has advised. I understand wanting the pregnancy bu to me this "party" stand to potentially damage your health, your marraige, and the potential child that you could concieve. You have to do what you think is best but this just seems unsafe in all regards.

 

[ticking.clock]

Here is some pics of my lil girl

Wow thanks for sharing ur pic with us... The miracle of a baby growing in its mothers womb will never cease to amaze & astound me.. It's beautiful! Enjoy this time x

amazing congrats

that's what i what, so bad
thanks everyone for your concerns

he gave me the list this morning, him and 2 other guys. everyone has been STD cleared and my counsyl test was zero so i feel good about the inseminations being safe and for a healthy pregnancy

and i don't have to do a thing, everything is taken care of. jacuzzi, wine and cheese, then i know that being 19 makes me sound impatient but i have wanted a baby for soooooo long. i know i am going to get it this time

Lisa are you aware that the sperm from different males attack each other, so by getting donations from 3 guys could actually be lowering your chances of success not increasing it

 

[whlisa19]

Here is some pics of my lil girl

Wow thanks for sharing ur pic with us... The miracle of a baby growing in its mothers womb will never cease to amaze & astound me.. It's beautiful! Enjoy this time x

amazing congrats

that's what i what, so bad
thanks everyone for your concerns

he gave me the list this morning, him and 2 other guys. everyone has been STD cleared and my counsyl test was zero so i feel good about the inseminations being safe and for a healthy pregnancy

and i don't have to do a thing, everything is taken care of. jacuzzi, wine and cheese, then i know that being 19 makes me sound impatient but i have wanted a baby for soooooo long. i know i am going to get it this time

Lisa are you aware that the sperm from different males attack each other, so by getting donations from 3 guys could actually be lowering your chances of success not increasing it

i read that somewhere on here and asked my donor about that, he said it's not true. getting 2 or 3 ejaculations from each of the guys will just give me a better chance since i'll have so much going into my cervix for my egg

 

[LeahMSta]

Here is some pics of my lil girl

Wow thanks for sharing ur pic with us... The miracle of a baby growing in its mothers womb will never cease to amaze & astound me.. It's beautiful! Enjoy this time x

amazing congrats

that's what i what, so bad
thanks everyone for your concerns

he gave me the list this morning, him and 2 other guys. everyone has been STD cleared and my counsyl test was zero so i feel good about the inseminations being safe and for a healthy pregnancy

and i don't have to do a thing, everything is taken care of. jacuzzi, wine and cheese, then i know that being 19 makes me sound impatient but i have wanted a baby for soooooo long. i know i am going to get it this time

Lisa are you aware that the sperm from different males attack each other, so by getting donations from 3 guys could actually be lowering your chances of success not increasing it

i read that somewhere on here and asked my donor about that, he said it's not true. getting 2 or 3 ejaculations from each of the guys will just give me a better chance since i'll have so much going into my cervix for my egg

No offense intended here but how is your donor the expert?

 

[LeahMSta]

https://https://www.smartplanet.com/blog/science-scope/understanding-reproductive-competition-plus-watch-sperm-fight-each-other/651 This article even provides a video of real sperm fighting.

 

[laurac1988]

It was actually proven that sperm from different males have a tendency to attack one another

 

[KelleyNJen]

Lisa,
I hope you know that we are not trying to hurt you, we are worried about you. There are just so many red flags going up for me right now. I have kids around your age so allow me to put my mommy hat on and give you some info.

1.Are you tracking your ovulation? If you are not ovulating right now then it doesn't matter how much sperm you are exposed to, it is not going to get you pregnant.

2. These guys have been tested for STDs, have they had a sperm analysis done? If their sperm count is not higher than your DH then you have no higher chance than with DH

3. A big red flag here is your party plans that begin with a jaccuzi. It has been scientifically proven that the heat from a jaccuzi kills sperm. If these guys were truly giving souls trying to help a couple desperate for a child, then they would not first be marinating their testicals in a sperm killing jaccuzzi.

4. If you truly feel there is nothing wrong with what you are doing then tell your husband about it. If you can't be honest with him about it you probably shouldn't do it.

These guys (including your "donor") sound like opportunistic parasites who are preying on a naïve young woman who desperately wants a child.

That being said feel free to be upset or angry with me. My children generally are when I give them such harsh advice. In the end if it saves you from being hurt or worse then it is all worth it.

 

[whlisa19]

I think they are great guys. They said they saved it all up for me and didn't have sex with their wives for the whole week just so there would be a lot for me!! And even taking time off from work. I'm going there now and get started!!

 

[laurac1988]

Lisa, Kelleynjen is totally right. Jacuzzis are VERY bad for sperm

 

[LeahMSta]

Lisa, have you taken to heart any of the advice being given to you? DId you read the article on how sperm will fight eachother? I know how badly we all want a baby but this will not promise you one any faster and being in a group of strange men without your husband puts you at great risk. For your sake, if you are determined to do it, I hope that it is harmless sex but the truth is that there is no promise that something far more sinister is taking place. Be safe and protect yourself. You are going to be someone's mom.

 

[ticking.clock]

Here is some pics of my lil girl

Wow thanks for sharing ur pic with us... The miracle of a baby growing in its mothers womb will never cease to amaze & astound me.. It's beautiful! Enjoy this time x

amazing congrats

that's what i what, so bad
thanks everyone for your concerns

he gave me the list this morning, him and 2 other guys. everyone has been STD cleared and my counsyl test was zero so i feel good about the inseminations being safe and for a healthy pregnancy

and i don't have to do a thing, everything is taken care of. jacuzzi, wine and cheese, then i know that being 19 makes me sound impatient but i have wanted a baby for soooooo long. i know i am going to get it this time

Lisa are you aware that the sperm from different males attack each other, so by getting donations from 3 guys could actually be lowering your chances of success not increasing it

i read that somewhere on here and asked my donor about that, he said it's not true. getting 2 or 3 ejaculations from each of the guys will just give me a better chance since i'll have so much going into my cervix for my egg

Oh of course he's going to say that,

 

[Juniperjules]

I think they are great guys. They said they saved it all up for me and didn't have sex with their wives for the whole week just so there would be a lot for me!! And even taking time off from work. I'm going there now and get started!!

Oh dear.... Lisa, it seems quite clear that you aren't really paying any attention to the concern & advice being given to you here by the wonderful women in this forum.

You are only 19 years old, & the idea of you going to a 'donation' party with 2 or 3 men who are bringing wine & cheese & getting into a jacuzzi with you.. quite honestly it sounds more like an orgy than a baby-making session. It sounds (as someone else has said) like a group of opportunistic, creepy, married (therefore probably cheating) men, who are simply looking for a young woman to take advantage of.

If you were single & simply interested in having a party with 3 guys & having sex with them... I would still say it sounds scary to me, but as an adult over 18 that would be your decision. However you aren't single, you are married.. & unless your husband is cool with an open marriage, you are playing with fire. And if these men are married, then there are also 3 other women who are involved as well, & possibly children also??? Have you considered that or do you simply not care?? Bcos as a woman trying to have a child of her own I would have hoped that someone else's children should also factor into this? this just seems like a creepy, sleazy, way for a baby to be conceived.

There is a group of mature, experienced, & very supportive women in here who have red flags going up EVERY time you post in this forum Lisa. I think most of us have been reading your posts for a while, feeling somewhat uncomfortable with what you have been writing, but not really knowing the right or kindest way to respond to you. Many young women have babies Lisa, & are wonderful mothers. I have cousins who had babies at 18, & they are mature, accountable, level headed girls. it's not so much 'age' that matters, as it is maturity & responsibility. My fear for you is that you do seem quite young, & don't seem to be paying any attention to the very real concerns that the girls in here have for you. you seem sort of caught up in the 'attention' that these men can offer you, particularly while your husband is away.

I hope & pray that you at least tell someone close to you where you are going?? A sister, a friend.. Maybe talk to someone about what you are doing. The women in here are concerned for a reason, it's a real pity that you don't seem to see that.