Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[firechild30]

I think some of the rough time for some of us may be related to the uncanny amount of babydust floating around this month. While we may be genuinely happy for the ladies/couples who are successful at creating their lil miracles, it is what we want too and its hard to not be discouraged with ourselves or our bodies that we haven't got it yet. The longer it takes us to achieve success, the more hurt we have to endure and the easier it is to get down about the process. It's wonderful that we have a place that we can come discuss our frustrations and hurts and receive encouragement and support- and also have others to share in the happiness of success. We will get through this together

Could someone please look at my chart? I dipped below cl, but it's way too early for af. I didn't sleep very well last night, but I don't think this has ever happened before.

 

[astito]

Firechild, although I don't trust temping regarding pregnancy, it is possible for yours that it can be an implementation dip...

 

[c.30]

Just wanted to update. I'm 38 + 2 and I was admitted to hospital yesterday due to very high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia. I had a pessary inserted at 6pm last night and they're breaking my waters at 6ish tonight (it's 4.50pm here) so I'll get to meet my little girl at LONG last!!! They'll be keeping me in for 5 days afterwards due to the pre-eclampsia. I will post a pic when we're settled

 

[firechild30]

Just wanted to update. I'm 38 + 2 and I was admitted to hospital yesterday due to very high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia. I had a pessary inserted at 6pm last night and they're breaking my waters at 6ish tonight (it's 4.50pm here) so I'll get to meet my little girl at LONG last!!! They'll be keeping me in for 5 days afterwards due to the pre-eclampsia. I will post a pic when we're settled

So exciting! Prayers for an easy labor and delivery! Will be thinking of you guys! Can't wait to see pics

 

[Juniperjules]

Just wanted to update. I'm 38 + 2 and I was admitted to hospital yesterday due to very high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia. I had a pessary inserted at 6pm last night and they're breaking my waters at 6ish tonight (it's 4.50pm here) so I'll get to meet my little girl at LONG last!!! They'll be keeping me in for 5 days afterwards due to the pre-eclampsia. I will post a pic when we're settled

Wow! How exciting!! Take care & can't wait to see some pics x

 

[Mummylou23]

keep us updated c.30

 

[LeahMSta]

Just wanted to update. I'm 38 + 2 and I was admitted to hospital yesterday due to very high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia. I had a pessary inserted at 6pm last night and they're breaking my waters at 6ish tonight (it's 4.50pm here) so I'll get to meet my little girl at LONG last!!! They'll be keeping me in for 5 days afterwards due to the pre-eclampsia. I will post a pic when we're settled

Cheryl, my thoughts are with you. May you and your daughter have the most lovely time meeting eachother!

 

[laurac1988]

All the best Cheryl xxx

 

[mizcee18]

Just wanted to update. I'm 38 + 2 and I was admitted to hospital yesterday due to very high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia. I had a pessary inserted at 6pm last night and they're breaking my waters at 6ish tonight (it's 4.50pm here) so I'll get to meet my little girl at LONG last!!! They'll be keeping me in for 5 days afterwards due to the pre-eclampsia. I will post a pic when we're settled

Cant wait to see the pix! I hope for an quick and easy labor and delivery and fast recovery from the preeclampsia. take care, looking forward to your update!

 

[Mummylou23]

any update xxx

 

[LeahMSta]

We are preparing for this month's inseminations. It's hard to feel very optimistic right now. We are both having health issues. Nothing too major but enough to seem consuming. DW just found out that she needs a surgery and my medications are getting a makeover. We are both feeling overwhelmed by how long we have been trying without success and I for one am sick to death of the parents of young children in our lives asking if we are SURE we want to have our own. Like because their kid had a tantrum I realized that I hadn't thought this through. Here. Needless to say, I am a bit grumpy. Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe cycle 14 will be the lucky one.

 

[Nimyra]

Leah

 

[Juniperjules]

We are preparing for this month's inseminations. It's hard to feel very optimistic right now. We are both having health issues. Nothing too major but enough to seem consuming. DW just found out that she needs a surgery and my medications are getting a makeover. We are both feeling overwhelmed by how long we have been trying without success and I for one am sick to death of the parents of young children in our lives asking if we are SURE we want to have our own. Like because their kid had a tantrum I realized that I hadn't thought this through. Here. Needless to say, I am a bit grumpy. Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe cycle 14 will be the lucky one.

((Hugs))) ... People are thoughtless sometimes aren't they??? I have a very good old friend who I absolutely love. Recently on a very bad day for me, she was being a wonderfully supportive friend & listening to me talk about how I worry I'll never have children etc..
I know it wasn't intended to be thoughtless, but she made a comment about how I could take one of her 3 kids if I wanted to. She also said a few times that she'd swap me for my life anyday without kids as shes studying midwifery full time & is incredibly busy being wife & mum. Now of course she was trying to be funny & they were intended as harmless comments. She adores her kids. But for some reason it still hurt a little. Bcos inside I was thinking 'if you really knew wot it felt like to think you may NEVER have children or be a mother- you simply wouldn't even joke about it'. But how can I expect someone who has popped out 3 children in 6 years and is now only 35 years old, to understand how I feel at 38 with the possibility of being childless.

I guess maybe its bcos others don't realise how it affects how u look at ur whole life and future. Some days I honestly feel like without children to care for & plan for then wot is the real purpose of my life?? I've had plenty of time to travel, be independent & work. But it's not enough. None of those things make life meaningful. And also I think about how when I'm 'gone', if there's no children, then ill have disappeared from the world & left nothing behind... Yikes.. Sorry girls.. I'm being a bit of a downer. It's awful how dark things can get if u let urself start thinking these kind of thoughts. Guess its better to write them in here that to look like a depressed pessimistic mad woman in real life! : )

I've gone off on a tangent Leah, but basically I hear you. So vent away! Good luck with cycle 14

 

[Nimyra]

Juniper,

You summed it up perfectly:
" But it's not enough. None of those things make life meaningful. And also I think about how when I'm 'gone', if there's no children, then ill have disappeared from the world & left nothing behind... Yikes.. Sorry girls.. I'm being a bit of a downer. It's awful how dark things can get if u let urself start thinking these kind of thoughts."

That's how I think too. Like I don't really see the purpose of my life beyond having children. Maybe I need a broader vision for life... or more religion... but yeah, Infertility becomes a spiritual crisis.

 

[mizcee18]

its crazy how OFF people can be. even though maybe they mean well. in the beginning of my pregnancy I was having some bleeding and I was terrified. I live long distance from my family and I called my mom for support. I was so scared I was having a miscarriage, I had a few days of waiting, testing my hcg levels and such and I had a second conversation with my mom about my worries and she said that her and my brother had talked about it and they both agreed that you gotta kinda expect and accept (if i was to mc) something like this to happen being the way we conceived.

basically in their eyes we were doing some weird experiment and if it didn't work out then it didn't work out. and to just get over it.

in her own way I think she was trying to be there for me, but man did it hurt! it felt like she was saying this pregnancy didn't mean as much as other people that got pregnant the traditional way.

anyway I think some people just don't get it! hang in there. you all are doing great, its only natural to get discouraged sometimes. this has to be one of the hardest journeys to go threw but the reward will be soooo well worth it!

 

[firechild30]

July will be a year of trying for us...and we have had no success. I have days where I cry all day long. everyone around me is getting pregnant and having babies and it's becoming more and more difficult to have any kind of hope. This is the only place where I feel like there are others who get it- who understand how discouraged one can get on this journey, who understand what it's like to want this so much, and who understand the need to get out our thoughts and fears and hopes. My heart really goes out to you other ladies/couples who are having a rough time, I do hope you find comfort in this time and success the next try. I wish there were magic words to help with the pain, but all I can do is be here and keep each of you in my prayers.

DH and I are shopping for a new donor after this cycle- we have never used kdr before, and frankly it is a little scary. We are considering taking 3 months off and trying the pain"making babies" program, then trying again. one of the problems we have come across is we live in a very small area and we will def have to travel for any donor. I guess we will see when we get to that point. I already feel completely out for this cycle- though I don't feel nearly as devastated as I did last cycle.

 

[Mummylou23]

any updates from c.30? hope she nd baby are ok

 

[Mummylou23]

Heres a update from cheyl for you all:
24th april 6pm: There's been a complication on the labour ward and they may not be removing the pessary til midnight now It's bloody typical, lol, it was going too smoothly in terms of my sis and mum coming up. They are still coming up and we're going to play it by ear a bit, oh and go for a walk to maybe try to move things along a bit but they may be going and then coming back when i call them.

Trying not to get stressed cos that won't help BP. They've just given me another BP tablet, just the one, apparently I'm on them for good now.


25th april: 6pm: Brief update: waters broke at about 1ish although really not sure about that. On drip, epi and having contractions every 4 minutes. They started at 5 so unless they feel otherwise, I'll be examined for dilation at 9pm

 

[Ttcrainbow]

Heres a update from cheyl for you all:
24th april 6pm: There's been a complication on the labour ward and they may not be removing the pessary til midnight now It's bloody typical, lol, it was going too smoothly in terms of my sis and mum coming up. They are still coming up and we're going to play it by ear a bit, oh and go for a walk to maybe try to move things along a bit but they may be going and then coming back when i call them.

Trying not to get stressed cos that won't help BP. They've just given me another BP tablet, just the one, apparently I'm on them for good now.


25th april: 6pm: Brief update: waters broke at about 1ish although really not sure about that. On drip, epi and having contractions every 4 minutes. They started at 5 so unless they feel otherwise, I'll be examined for dilation at 9pm

Poor Cheryl, my bp few up and they induced me and it was awful. Then they didn't check for dilation for ages and I knew I was fully dilated but they were adamant I was only 4cm. Hopefully the drip will speed it up now. Send her my love.

 

[Nimyra]

thank you, firechild.

I agree that KDR can be intimidating. I think next month we're going to use our "runner up" local donor from our last donor search. He's an hour away still. Or I may try shipping.

Our local donor who helped me conceive the baby I lost is interested in continuing to work with us but I'm scared to use him again. He doesn't have any children so in my head I'm still wondering if maybe he has a genetic issue that would make me miscarry again. I'm terrified to have another miscarriage after how difficult this one way...

Many hard decisions.

I'm also considering going to a fertility clinic and using frozen sperm if we can't work things out with a local known donor.