Control Crying??!!

[Lucy&Pard]

Has anyone tried this? I have had the worst week ever (Christmas Day the worst I spent the whole everning from 5pm until 11pm in a dark room trying to consol a screaming Leo while I could hear everyone laughing and joking downstairs!!). Leo just wont settle at night and it takes 3 hours or more of me tripping back up the stairs to settle him again. I know this is normal in the beginning but he is 3 months next week and nothing has changed from when he was tiny! I am totally exhausted (not even wearing make up which is a first!) and he is just starting a growth spurt too which is making it worse. Even my mum mentioned that he was really unsettled generally and she never says anything negative! 50% of the time he is wonderful with the sweetest smiles and giggling and playing etc but the rest of the time he just screams! He always sleeps perfectly eventually and wakes up at 2 and 5 am for a feed and thats it its just in the evening and getting him to stay asleep he falls asleep easily but just wont stay asleep. And I make sure he has regular naps in the day too but not too much. Last night after I double checked everything i.e nappy, hunger, checked for nappy rash, gave colic drops etc I just walked out the room and didnt know what to do anymore. I left him to cry for like 10 minutes he sounded like he was going to make himself sick. It was awful and I couldnt stop crying too. It didnt sound like it was going to work so I went in and rocked him to sleep but it took a good hour. Ive heard people say leaving them to cry works. Has anyone got any experience of this? And how long do you need to leave them?!!!

 

[ryder]

Have you tried keeping him up longer? 5pm is really early. Jasmine previously went to bed at 10 or so, last night was the first night she went to bed at 9:30...

She has only had one night when she had to cry it out, for some reason she decided she did not want to sleep, it took an hour of letting her cry, going in, rubbing her tumy for a minute, giving dummy, leaving her a few minutes and doing the same thing over and over again... Finally she settled and went to sleep.

 

[Lucy&Pard]

Yes I was thinking that but all the books say that they should sleep 7 to 7 or 8 to 8. Sometimes he is so tired by 6pm despite a nap at 4 to 5 pm and he is rubbing his eyes and so I have done his bath earlier but then as soon as I dim the lights and settle him in his cot he sleeps and then 5 mins later wakes up crying! I think the control crying is for babies over 6 months anyway!

 

[ryder]

Hmmm... I dunno, Jasmine wakes up around 8, whether she is hungry or not, has a small nap sometime around 10, usually 45mins... And then eats and sleeps from about 1-4pm and then is awake or has a cap nap bettween 4 and the time she goes to bed... She is sleeping really well... Last night she slept from 9:30-6am before needing some food and then went back to sleep until 8:30.

 

[Younglutonmum]

I agree with Ryder about 5pm being early

To hell with the books hun, your baby is an individual

I used to put Maya down at 7pm & she was really fretful. Waking up constantly. Then once she had a 10:00pm/11:00pm feed she'd sleep right through

Just remember it will get better hunny

 

[Lucy&Pard]

Oh wow thats pretty good! I think youre right he nearly always eventually falls asleep at about 9ish so maybe this is his natural bedtime and I am just forcing this stupid 7pm bedtime and causing so much stress in doing so. I feel awful if this is right! Thanks for your help!

 

[Lucy&Pard]

Books are being burnt as we speak....lol!

 

[artypants2008]

I've tried the controled crying thing but it gets me and him so upset that I end up with him in my arms which defeats the object. I'd suggest trying other things first. Have you tried white noise? Also try a later bed time and when you get him settling better start to bring it forward a bit at a time. Good luck.

 

[oOKayOo]

Dont go by books , go by what baby needs.
5pm is very early , ella goes to ebd around 8:00 and can even be 10pm sometimes , but she sleeps through till 8.

To answer your first question i have done CIO with both my girls.
I didnt want to at first but i was living with my dad and i was totally clueless on what to do. So i tried it and so glad i did.
Dont leave baby crying and crying etc etc, this is what i do once i know she is tierd i cuddle , kiss and place baby down , stroke there head and say 'night night'.

Walk out , she will cry , leave it 2 mins if still crying pop in stroke head and say night night , carry on doing this till they are asleep.

Bare in mind its common sence not to leave them crying for ages , and leave them when they are becoming too distressed.
Now when my kids need to go to sleep , i say night night and thats that. Sound asleep , not a peep till morning

I started young though around 5 weeks. Early yes , but ive not had one sleepless night since then.

I hope whatever you choose to do your happy with

 

[Younglutonmum]

Books are being burnt as we speak....lol!

Burn Burn Burn!!!

 

[Younglutonmum]

Ohhh & just seen ur in Bucks! Im in Beds

 

[fairywings]

I was paranoid about the 7-7 thing aswell, but gradually thought that she WAS sleeping from 10pm until 9am from about 2 1/2 months, and it went down the older she got, the more mobile she got, now she goes to bed at 7 pm and wakes at between 8.30 - 9 am.

It will get eaiser as someone else said. oh yeah and I did the controlled crying, too, and it took a few weeks to become habit for her with falling asleep without me going back. x

 

[violet 73]

jack used to do this , but i wouldn,t put him to bed early untill he is spoon feeding , i have the room dark with just the monitor light on he has his last feed about 10 then goes in his moses basket untill about 9 in the morning then he has his bottle & goes bk in basket for another few hrs i think when your baby naps in the day put baby where baby sleeps at night also jack started doing better once i started using the baby sleeping bag . violet xx

 

[ColtonsMom]

I was going to say 5pm is early too. Colton normally has a nap from 4-6pm and goes to bed for the night around 10-10.30ish. He sleeps until at least 7:30am, sometimes as late as 9am, but thats rare.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Books are bullshit!!! They've said everything already so thats all I can add!!

 

[mommyof3co]

I personally don't like CIO and think there are much better ways. I also feel it can actually be dangerous to the baby depending on how long they are left to cry and other circumstances. I would try doing bedtime a little later like some of he other suggested. As long as he's getting the right amount of sleep the time doesn't really matter. My older 2 were on a really weird schedule until this year because their daddy worked really late and I stayed home with them, no school or anything so their actual bedtime was 1-2am and they slept 10-12hrs. But our pedi even agreed its the amount of time total in 24hrs they sleep that matters, not the time they are put in bed, whatever works best for your family, there is no right bedtime

 

[kayjor04]

mommyofco3 made a great point, as did all the other ladies, 5pm is definetly to early, at this age you just have to feel your babe out.. when hes tired he'll let you know. as far as the "cry it out" method goes.... not only am i not a fan, but its been proven that you shouldnt ever do it to babies under 6 months old... under 6 months old they dont understand "permanance" so when u leave the room your poor little one thinks your gone for good. and letting them cry for longer then 10 minutes can cut off blood flow to the brain. at that age they cry because they need mommy or daddy.
i never bought one parenting book ever. and i have a great baby who sleeps from about 9pm, till 830 which is perfect for me. Just remember: it does get better, and if you find yourself getting frustrated, and have someone to hand your LO off to for a bit (aka hubby, family or a close friends) do it. they understand.

 

[ryder]

Sorry but crying 10 mins cuts the bloodsupply to the brain? How does that work for colicky babies who cry non-stop for 3 hours or more???

I have only had to let Jasmine cry once, I went into her room every few mins to make sure she knew I was there, but I did not pick her up.. She is a happy baby and has had no negative effects from doing this.

I would not leave her alone to cry it out forever of course.

 

[kayjor04]

sorry not cut more like slow, i didnt just think it up, had a doctor tell me so. i dont know how it works, just something i heard. And I've never once ever let my LO cry herself to sleep if she cries when i put her down, shes not ready to be in bed. but maybe thats just my babe.

 

[mommyof3co]

Here are some articles about what I said before

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/07/14/the_odd_body_crying/

https://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html

https://askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

I think it's different when you let them cry by themselves then when you are trying to help them, they do still see you are there holding them, rocking them trying to make them feel better.