Coping techniques for homebirth around the corner!

[Lunaty]

Wow it's been a while since ive last posted LOL!

Baby no. 2 is due on the 5th of August and after having our first in hospital (waters got broken for me, pethadine, epi, 2 hours of pushing and ventouse delivery) I have decided that im having my 2nd at home!

Ive rented a birthpool for the occasion and I was hoping to use at least some hypnobirthing techniques.. maybe some aromatherapy

However due date is getting closer and Ive not had the opportunity to read the hypno book or listen to the cd's or decide on any other coping strategy... so what im wondering about is.. what where your coping techniques?!

Is going in 'blind' (ie without fully following a course, having a doula etc.) a set up for failure and are there any easy strategies to remember? IE how to breath etc?

 

[chuck]

Hey Hun! I didn't really do my hypo properly and didn't have a pool but didn't need or want GnA until well after the MW arrived and found me to be 8th so practically at transition - how?

Be trying not to let on I was labour LOL I didn't want fussing over so I carried on regardless, I made and ate beef casserole and loaded the dishwasher, sent hubby out to watch footie, bathed and put toddler to bed and started a Tesco online shop!

You're at home so use it to your advantage distraction works wonders!

Listen to your body, I thought I'd be mobile and upright as it's good for labour but all my body wanted once I got past 8/9th was to lie on my side and not move!

I wasn't keen on music for labour I couldn't settle on anything so I had a fave film on instead, I didn't watch a second of it but it was comforting and reassuring it being on!

 

[NaturalMomma]

Walking, swaying, birth ball, squats, massage and water were wonderful for me when homebirthing.

 

[JenStar1976]

When you get painful contractions, just keep reminding yourself that they won't last long and it's just your body's muscles getting ready to birth your baby. I was told in pregnancy yoga that if your jaw is relaxed, then your pelvis is relaxed. I kept saying this to myself and had a fantastic, relatively quick birth. [Even now, you probably don't realise that you're tensing your jaw: if you relax it, you'll feel everything "down there" start to relax too!] xx

 

[chuck]

Oh DO NOT bite mouthpiece if you use gas and air nothing worse than an aching jaw!

 

[lozzy21]

Oh DO NOT bite mouthpiece if you use gas and air nothing worse than an aching jaw!

Hhahahaha i loved biting on the mouth piece, the trick is to use your back teeth and not the front.

 

[lozzy21]

Carry on as normal, cook, clean, go to the shop, have sex even (as long as your waters havent gone).

The moment i was told i was actualy in labour and 9cm was the moment i realised i was starting to get uncomfortable and needed G&A. Up untill then i just thought i had back ache when it was realy labour but just in my back.

 

[Nikki_d72]

I haven't tried this yet obviously, but my yoga teacher says "if you feel any discomfort, just witness it, watch it pass" I think that sounds good, we'll see if it works! it works when doing hard stretches and things though. She also says when doing the relaxation and yoga breathing "if any thoughts or feelings come up, just watch them like a movie, do not be attached to them", which could be another good one if fear starts to creep in at any point.

I'm also wondering whether to do much more formal preparation, ie learning other breathing techniques etc but I was trying to read a book about it the other night and found I just had no patience for it, so doubt I will during labour! I'm leaning towards just building my own confidence in my body, educating myself as much as possible and letting my body do the rest. Anyone any ideas on this approach? I'd hate to get to the day and feel "Oh I wish I'd done blah"...

 

[lozzy21]

The only real thing you need to do with your breathing is breath slowly and deeply, all this silly whoo whoo hee hee crap it's just going to make it hurt more. Your uterus is just a big muscle and contracting can hurt because like any muscle that you dont exercise on a regular basis and then suddenly use a lot in one go, it's not used to that amount of work. You need to make sure you get the maximum amout of oxygen to your body to help your muscles work as efectivly as they can including your uterus. So your yoga breathing techniques will be perfect

 

[Lunaty]

Thanks girls!

I did find distraction a good idea, last time I got caught so unprepared.. after they broke my water labor hit so fast and since the only thing in my room at the time was the bed I kinda curled up in a ball and just tensed (even though i had promised myself to keep moving) which led to loads of intervention unfortunately..

Hopefully with the home environment I will be more able to try the birth ball and couch etc. and keep moving

LOl sometimes it feels like your studying for this massive exam thats due the next morning, even though there is nothing to learn really.. it's just letting go and do what feels right at the time..

Another one of those worries is my husband, he is not to impressed with the homebirth thing (I think he's had a rather hard time dealing with the first labor and seeing me in pain and shaking etc.) so he's given in grudgingly but im rather afraid of freaking him out at the time and him wanting to get a transfer to hospital when it gets rough..

Not to mention that the MIL finds my choice completely stupid as she is a "go for the epidurals as soon as it hurts" kind of person (she was present at the last labor) luckily she will not be at this one unless she needs to pick up our son.

So.. what to do ehh.. haha

 

[Nikki_d72]

Thanks girls!

I did find distraction a good idea, last time I got caught so unprepared.. after they broke my water labor hit so fast and since the only thing in my room at the time was the bed I kinda curled up in a ball and just tensed (even though i had promised myself to keep moving) which led to loads of intervention unfortunately..

Hopefully with the home environment I will be more able to try the birth ball and couch etc. and keep moving

LOl sometimes it feels like your studying for this massive exam thats due the next morning, even though there is nothing to learn really.. it's just letting go and do what feels right at the time..

Another one of those worries is my husband, he is not to impressed with the homebirth thing (I think he's had a rather hard time dealing with the first labor and seeing me in pain and shaking etc.) so he's given in grudgingly but im rather afraid of freaking him out at the time and him wanting to get a transfer to hospital when it gets rough..

Not to mention that the MIL finds my choice completely stupid as she is a "go for the epidurals as soon as it hurts" kind of person (she was present at the last labor) luckily she will not be at this one unless she needs to pick up our son.

So.. what to do ehh.. haha

When he sees that you are much more relaxed and coping this time because you are at home, he's more likely to relax himself and roll with it. Many reluctant Dads have come out after a homebirth raving about it to anyone who'll listen! here's a really good article on it that I found:

https://www.homebirth.net.au/2008/04/this-brilliant-article-was-written-by.html

Also, is there anyone you know who's done it, who's hubby or partner could speak to yours? I think that really swung it for my DH, one of his friends and workmates has been with his wife for 3 homebirths and described how you all get to snuggle up together after, no-one gets sent home except the midwives and he can have an active role instead of pacing about worrying. He now sees it as much more normal. Short of that, could you get him to watch some you-tube vids of natural homebirth? That might let him see the difference to hospital birth as well and realise that it would be nicer for you, so he wouldn't have to watch you struggle like last time.

In the end though, it's you giving birth, not him, so although he rightly gets a say in raising your child, you should get the last say on the birth as you are the only one able to do it. If you explain how you will be much more relaxed and therefore better able to give birth to his child, and that his child will be more likely to have a nice gentle birth, I'm sure he'll see your point.

ETA, so far I've not told my MIL and definately won't be telling my own mother as I know she'd freak right out, she's only ever known medicalised births and would think it was "way out there hippy nonsense, taking a risk, etc etc" She nearly had heart failure when I told her I was going for a normal birth and not another section, depite the fact that she saw the aftermath of the last one, so I know I'm making the right decision there. Just explain to him that she doesn't understand beacuse she was raised without the choice and maybe show him some stats on the safety of homebirth as well, to prove to him that you are not taking risks, but actually doing the best you can to ensure your and your baby's safety, as homebirth is statistically safer. Most blokes like things in black and white.

Good luck!

 

[Lunaty]

Nikki, I see your in NZ as well

Im originally from NL only moved here 4 years ago haha
However in NL it is rather normal to have home births so i never considered it was such a rare thing..

Having been through birth before though I can imagine why the selected homebirth rate is so low haha

Call me crazy but i do wish this experience to be mine this time around since it will most likely be our last child and I want to spare the horrific after care and stress involved

Ive managed to coax hubby in to readin several statistics and dad stories, he did tell me he will not change his mind about the fact that he thinks hospital is safer but he will surrender to what I want since it is my choice..

There is no one around to exchange experiences with unfortunately, all our friends have all been at hospital or birthing centers but I think he is one of those people that has too experience before he will draw the end conclusion he certainly is seeming to just pull his shoulders up and not think about it to much until it will happen atm.. (probably his way of preparing)

Ohh and Ive not told my mother either, she caught on whilst i had a chat on Facebook with a friend and made this huge fuss exactly how your mother would have reacted! I ended up in a phone convo with her explaining that that was why i did not mention it to her int he first place and that im well aware of the risks having been through birth before knowing what im in for (well as much a s you can really).. In the end thigns got heated and we agreed to disagree..

 

[Kess]

If you can, get him to read The Fathers Homebirth Handbook. It has a great chapter on risk with a load of studies listed, and is liberally peppered with stories and quotes by fathers.

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hey Lunaty, I hadn't even noticed you were here too! We're pretty lucky here, with our midwife led care, compared to some other places, although NL has a great rate of homebirth, doesn't it? are you in the NI or SI? Sorry about your Mum, I've the few folk that know what I'm planning warned not to mention anything on FB or anywhere public, as she wouldn't agree to disagree, she'd never stop trying to change my mind until the day! Some folk will never get it! That's good your hubby will support your wishes, I've read a good few on here saying that was the bestthey could get, then their men were great on the day and real advocates now for HB, so hopefully he will be too, after!

All the best!

 

[Lunaty]

Based in the NI (Auckland North Shore)

Im not to worried about my mum, there is not much she can do about it, being on the other side of the world and all

And yes Maternity care here is pretty good! Hubby will hopefully be pleasantly surprised after the birth (if all goes well LOL)..
Now I just have to try my best to cope when the time comes , not much time left to prepare haha

 

[Nikki_d72]

Haha - at last someone I can talk to without having to wait till the next morning to get a reply, yippee! I'm in Hawea, by Wanaka in the SI & we're lucky that there seems to be a lot of Homebirthers around, it's seen as a bit of a hippyish part, all good by me. Yip, it's quite handy being far away from prying eyes sometimes, isn't it? You've not too long to go now, it must be getting exciting now!
xx

 

[Lunaty]

Yeha not many NZ'rs around!
I think ive read somewhere that the planned homebirth percentage is about 4% here!!!

However compared to a load of countries that is still very good
Aprox 5 weeks left now Yay

 

[indigo_fairy]

Haha - at last someone I can talk to without having to wait till the next morning to get a reply, yippee! I'm in Hawea, by Wanaka in the SI & we're lucky that there seems to be a lot of Homebirthers around, it's seen as a bit of a hippyish part, all good by me. Yip, it's quite handy being far away from prying eyes sometimes, isn't it? You've not too long to go now, it must be getting exciting now!
xx

Nikki I'm not jealous MUCH....

 

[Nikki_d72]

Haha - at last someone I can talk to without having to wait till the next morning to get a reply, yippee! I'm in Hawea, by Wanaka in the SI & we're lucky that there seems to be a lot of Homebirthers around, it's seen as a bit of a hippyish part, all good by me. Yip, it's quite handy being far away from prying eyes sometimes, isn't it? You've not too long to go now, it must be getting exciting now!
xx

Nikki I'm not jealous MUCH....

Haha, you wouldn't be if you could feel how cold it is in our house right now - we relocated an old farmhouse thing and haven't finished insulating it yet, so it's essentially a wooden box. One woodburner that doesn't seem to be working properly (nothing ever works first time for us!), doesn't quite compare to central heating, wahh! Still, it's nice outside...

Thank goodness the baby's due in summer here! pressure's on to get this place abit more habitable though, we're pretty much camping at the moment!

 

[Lunaty]

Central heating?! What is that!
Gosh that was a shock comign from Europe! Barely any house has central heating haha

Our house is a icebox too, so well be having all our heaters on once little one is due!
Stocked up on loads of fluffy warm blankets too haha

COle was luckily born in summer