Crazy Tester's Hoping for a 2016 BFP!!!

[mommyxofxone]

maybe you're just a spotter now and it doesn't mean anything hun.

 

[Hoping girl 2]

Keeping everything crossed for you ladies as usual

Thank you to everyone who sent good wishes and I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply sooner. Ongoing feeding issues with Isaac and the normal chaos and lack of control that comes with having a newborn (which I find really hard to cope with) unfortunately means that isn't old friend pnd has come knocking on my door again. So have been really struggling with every day things and feeling massively guilty that Joshua no longer has all my attention and I can't usually help him to do every day things like the potty as I'm always stuck to the pump, and the guilt that Isaac is definitely getting less of mummy than Joshua did. Thankfully my dh has been amazing and I've got a couple of really good friends who have been invaluable, as well as a very supportive health visitor. She's coming round today to talk about the possibility of going on antidepressants but I'm still reluctant... They were a massive help with Joshua buy kind of feel I could do this by myself if only the things were doing to get Isaac to latch on would work and then feeding would be easier and pumping would be a thing of the past... But we'll see. I had two pretty horrendous days on Friday and Saturday when I couldn't stop crying and feeling completely useless and overwhelmed, and I don't want Joshua seeing me like that either. Sunday and today have been better at least but don't know if it'll be better to go on the tablets just in case or not... I'll see.

Sorry for the long essay, just wanted to explain why i hadn't replied earlier

hunni - Im so sorry. It always catches my breath when I hear people going through this. I had horrendous PND/PPP I ended up on Citrolopram for a year in a way it saved me. My hubby was fantastic too at least you have a good support system. Hun if you need to speak to someone that has been through it message me your number and I can whatsapp you, Im here anytime you need me you can do this and i bet you are doing a lot more than you think. Anxiety played a big part with me

xxxx

Thank you! I got pretty bad pnd after Joshua so I knew I was at a higher risk of getting it this time. I was on tablets for six months and then I found out I was pregnant so I weaned off them (didn't need them by that point anyway) and I'm convinced they're part of the reason I had that mmc. So I've been desperate not to take tablets this time. Gp has offered me some talking therapy and my hv comes weekly to see me so for the time being that's helping. If it gets worse, on to tablets I go.

Mine - this time - comes from a mixture of inability to bf, guilt at having to go to formula, guilt at having had gender disappointment when Isaac was born, and extreme anxiety about how I'll cope with 2 once my dh goes back to work (finding it overwhelming with a very demanding toddler, a newborn who takes forever to feed from bottles and pumping every two hours to get enough bm for Isaac's bottle. I spend all the time tied to the pump or feeding Isaac and I can't give Joshua am enough time and attention, let alone get him ready to go out anywhere!!).

This is why I have decided to stop pumping on Tuesday (once Isaac is 4 weeks) and start making the move to formula. Makes me feel like a rubbish mum but it's the only way I'll be able to take care of both children by myself. The other day I was stuck to the pump and Joshua started climbing a table and being very unsafe and by the time I managed to get off the pump and to him he'd almost really fallen and hurt himself. And in the meantime I still had to pump, calm Joshua down and Isaac started crying - I felt so torn between everyone's needs, it was horrible Plus, Isaac's issues are not resolving themselves quickly enough so osteopath and lactation consultant have told me it'll be a good few weeks before he's close to being able to latch effectively enough to feed properly. And I think I'm now getting mastitis because the pump has torn the skin around my nipple and i think some bacteria must have gotten in... I feel like I'm being stabbed on the boobs

Shame that knowing all the reasons why it makes sense for me to stop the pumping doesn't lessen the guilt...

Sorry again for the essay!!

 

[wantingagirl]

just back from London on Monday and been manic. I decided to test on Monday afternoon on Saturday night in London I was really I'll had to leave everyone and went to hotel room to vomit then felt icky sun, mon and Tuesday. Felt totally different. But 10-12 very faint line on frer you know my history with frers this morning another line but still a negative digi. I then decided to hold my pee from noon-3pm on the advice of my lovely friend 'myheart' with no fluid at all line came up before the other line but would have liked it to be stronger? I also got a positive digi. I am worried as I spotted once last night nothing since 5dpo[/QUOTE]

 

[wantingagirl]

Top test 10dpo afternoon bottom 12dpo afternoon 3 hour hold

 

[littlemiss84]

Congrats wanting! So happy for you
Fingers crossed for a sticky bean

 

[emma4g63]

Wag so happy hun for u xxx

 

[MissCassie]

Morning ladies!
These are from yesterday at 6dp5dt or 11dpo.

https://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/150x100q90/905/U0AwVP.jpg

 

[mommyof2peas]

Omg congrats Wag! So happy for you. Happy and healthy 9 2 you.

Congrats to you too Cassie!

 

[Babylove100]

Yay WAG!! So happy for you!! Sending lots of sticky dust your way!!!

Cassie - huge congrats to you also!!

 

[Hoping girl 2]

Wag - excellent news!!! You've made my day those lines are definitely getting darker... So excited for you!!!!! Xxx

Cassie, congratulations!!! Happy and healthy nine months to you

 

[wantingagirl]

Thanks everyone I think it's over before it's began

Test seems lighter today but it's weird as soon as the strip hit the wee it turned yellow (I'm on b-50 complex)

 

[Babylove100]

Thanks everyone I think it's over before it's began

Test seems lighter today but it's weird as soon as the strip hit the wee it turned yellow (I'm on b-50 complex)

No no no, I will not believe this!!! Do you have a pic?? i found my tests were much better in the evenings too! xx

 

[MissCassie]

Thank you ladies

I am excited looks like its finally happening. Cant wait for my beta on monday!

 

[mommyxofxone]

Wag! congrats!!!! that is awesome!!! and i'm not going to believe it's looking lighter! i've been told smu is better for some ladies! you got a positive on a digi! that's so great!



cassie- congrats hun!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Congratulations Wag. I'm sure that test is nothing to worry about. The digi tells us you are and that's very promising. How are you now? Xx

 

[mommyxofxone]

yes wag how's it going?

 

[wantingagirl]

Stressful! My fmu seems to be rubbish! I can't get any more frers!

I did a SD test. The smu came up straight away and it thickened and Pinkened in the bottom of the line first.

Top fmu 9.30pm
Bottom smu 1pm 3 hour hold

 

[Babylove100]

Whohoo they are fantastic!! My fmu was pretty rubbish compare to later in the day as well so I wouldn't worry about that at all!!!x

 

[Hoping girl 2]

Those lines are looking great, wag!!! Go baby, go!!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Fabulous lines WAG. Xx