Hello all... sorry I haven't been around for the past few days, just trying to get some things sorted out and dealt with.
I never did end up going to the ER, I didn't feel like waiting for 6 hours to be told what I already know (or don't know, depending on how you look at it). All in all though, it's been a rough week.
At the moment I'm pretty sure there is no hope for this pregnancy. My bleeding has continued despite all my efforts otherwise, and I'm still passing at least 2 large clots a day with a bunch of little clots interspersed. I've also had on and off cramping, usually at night. At first it wasn't too bad, but tonight it was awful.
There was about 4 -5 hours where the cramps would come and go in waves and at one point they were so bad I would moan and pant trying to get through them. I figured they were probably contractions and that I'm miscarrying as we speak. I ended up taking some pain relievers and a warm bath and that's seemed to calm it down a bit.... so at least that helped.
I took another HPT today to see if the line was getting lighter, but it wasn't conclusive. The line seemed lighter than my previous one, but if it was it was only by half a shade, so that could be chalked up to any number of reasons. At any rate, I'll find out tomorrow when I get my beta hcg done.
I've spent a good deal of my day crying in utter anguish... but DH has done his best to cheer me up and reassure me that we'll someday have a family, I sincerely hope to god that he's right.
So yeah.... that's where I'm sitting right now... fairly confident I'm baby-less and heartbroken, exactly where I started about 6 months ago...

It's days like these that make you hate life. Me and DH have tried our best to keep living and moving on.... but suffice to say, this has been a very unpleasant Valentine's Day.