Damn...wondering if I should have done that. Update: wish I hadn't done that!

[Maybe1daysoon]

Oh eatthmama. I'm sorry this didn't end up working out. At least you tried. You seem like such a nice person! I f the guy is sitting around not even trying he is purely taking advantage of the situation and needs to go. Sad for thier baby but you have your own to tend to. Good luck.

 

[superfrizbee]

I'm sorry your kind gesture has been thrown in your face. If that's how they treat your home only imagine what they must do to their own!

 

[Brightxeyes]

Yes I'd get them out as soon as possible.

I moved in with my boyfriend and his two house mates (one had abruptly left and I was practically there every day anyway) and we're all still young so I didn't mind too much people partying etc. then we got pregnant (not planned, but a very happy surprise!) and we just couldn't live with these guys.

No hygiene, we started to get a mice infestation (we're talking hundreds in our WALLS and garage so we got out as quick as we could!

I can see why their hygiene habits haven't changed because living in a house share people get lazy and cut corners. And that's what they've just came from. But I would have thought with their newborn child they would have made a bigger effort to change.

You tried, and at least it gives them the opportunity to find a place (and quick!) with just their family and no dirty house mates. And once no one is there to help then clean up they may realise oh crap they really need to do it!

So in a way you've helped them get out of their old house. Alarm bells would have rang on why they didnt find a place while they were pregnant. We started viewing houses when I was nine weeks, found this one straight away and said we want it, here's the deposit, then got out of our house share as soon as we could!

It was a very nice thing for you to do, but I'd put your own family first. Hopefully it has given them the opportunity to at least get out of their old place. It's not suitable for a baby.

To help get them out quicker help forward them onto people or organisations that can help them find a place quicker.
Goodluck! Xxx

 

[Lau88]

What did they say about it?

 

[leahtaba]

Sorry it didn't work out, at least you tried. They seem to be taking advantage of your kindness, shame on them!

hope they get out quickly for you

 

[EmzyJA]

Oh gosh you poor thing!! Hope they find somewhere quick and get out. So sorry they're taking advantage of your kindness. Sounds like he especially needs a kick up the backside. That poor baby, sounds like regardless of the help they get the baby isn't going to have the home and start to life it deserves you did a good thing trying though and that's all you can do, ultimately you have to put your family first

 

[mrsmummy2]

Ahh. Sorry this hasn't worked out for you.
It was so good of you to do what you did, but people really shouldn't take advantage like that.

I hope things work out soon and you can all move on.

 

[butterfly80]

Oh no no sorry it hadn't worked out xxxxx

 

[bumpbear]

I would throw myself in to helping them find somewhere else or they will just come out with excuses and use their baby as a way of guilt tripping you in to letting them stay longer. I don't know how things work in Hawaii, but could social services offer them some assistance? It seems that with no job, they're going to have a hard time finding a place to go.

 

[lala222]

oh no, sorry to hear your in this situation. what happened? how has it been? or are you just sick of having other people living with you?

They've brought a lot of conflict into my household, huge screaming fights and the male just sits around playing video games all day instead of looking for a job OR caring for his infant...they are also slobs, huge piles of dirty diapers everywhere instead of in the trash.

I cannot handle it. I just cannot live with them, I want my house back to myself to prepare for the birth of my second child. My husband is also really irritable with the situation.

OMG..noone can blame you that sounds horrendous! WHY are some people so LAZY! They should be CLEANING your house for you opening it up to them! some people...yes. hopefully they are out immediately. you as an expecting mom do NOT need that stress and dirty lifestyle!!

 

[Jess29]

Wow that's terrible! You should take his video games away. Remind him he needs to find a job and help clean. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

 

[calm]

Its lovely that you wanted to help them. But I personally think even the nicest and dearest guests are hard to have in your house after a time. Its so sad to say this but if people don't help themselves there is nothing you can do to help them without creating an inferno for yourself. Could you help them pay for the first month's rent on a small apartment? It would be up to them to deal with it afterwards and at least you would have your house back.

 

[emicakess]

Its lovely that you wanted to help them. But I personally think even the nicest and dearest guests are hard to have in your house after a time. Its so sad to say this but if people don't help themselves there is nothing you can do to help them without creating an inferno for yourself. Could you help them pay for the first month's rent on a small apartment? It would be up to them to deal with it afterwards and at least you would have your house back.

I agree with calm. Mama you tried your best, if people arent willing to help themselves there is nothing you can do to help them...and sometimes they will even take advantage which really makes it easy to get burnt out and bitter towards people. I know from experience but always remember that there are still good people out there. I just feel bad for the baby in the situation but the parents are going to have to figure it out. You are a wonderful person for trying!

 

[noon_child]

I would make sure that you have them sign a written agreement about what they will be responsible for, both financially and otherwise, and one what grounds would elicit them being kicked out. I'd also make it a very clear time frame, like 6 months, so they know that this isn't something they can get too comfortable with. Personally, I would want them gone before my own baby came, but if it won't bother you then that's great.

I wouldn't trust that he won't be drinking, alcoholism is very hard to kick.

I agree with this!

Yes this.

 

[wookie130]

I really do commend you for doing the kind and generous thing, and I'm sorry it's not working out. As others have said, it's hard to make people want to help themselves, and if they're not willing to do the work, then there is not much you can do. I would think that having a new baby would be enough for them to want to get their act together, but sadly, for a lot of couples, even that isn't an eye-opener.

I wouldn't provide any more assistance to these people. You've done MORE than your share for them by opening up your home, and they're behaving like freeloaders. It's time for them to find a different arrangement, and if they can't act in a way that's in their child's best interest, I'd call CPS or a similar organization (anonymously) on them.

Good luck. It's time to absolutely put you and your own growing family first!

 

[EarthMama]

Thank you everyone...unfortunately as you know there were some serious red flags going into this, but I ignored them because I believe in the idea that people can change for the better, especially with the birth of a child. But old habits die hard I guess...they are on a completely different planet then I am. I get tired of cleaning up after grown adults. Her man in particular drives me nuts.

They seem to be looking for a new place now.

 

[CastawayBride]

Honestly it sounds like they need social services to intervene. I would not trust they are looking for a place, I certainly hope they are....but their laziness probably does not lead to them wanting to leave in a hurry!

 

[EarthMama]

Honestly it sounds like they need social services to intervene. I would not trust they are looking for a place, I certainly hope they are....but their laziness probably does not lead to them wanting to leave in a hurry!

That's exactly what my husband is worrying about too. He thinks they've gotten way too comfortable. They did sign a lease with us that says they have to be out on the 31st of May though.

Yesterday her boyfriend knew we were unhappy with him so he promised that today he would go job hunting. Did that happen today? Nope. I spent all day doing all my dishes, and theirs...their stuff is hogging up all my porches, lanais, and the upstairs has been completely taken over. It's become very stressful for me to be home...during pregnancy especially I get feeling like I want my house a certain way, I did not expect them to take over the house.

It kind of sucks on an emotional level for me, this whole situation. Next time if I want to help someone I'll just go work at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter or something.

 

[CastawayBride]

Honestly it sounds like they need social services to intervene. I would not trust they are looking for a place, I certainly hope they are....but their laziness probably does not lead to them wanting to leave in a hurry!

That's exactly what my husband is worrying about too. He thinks they've gotten way too comfortable. They did sign a lease with us that says they have to be out on the 31st of May though.

Yesterday her boyfriend knew we were unhappy with him so he promised that today he would go job hunting. Did that happen today? Nope. I spent all day doing all my dishes, and theirs...their stuff is hogging up all my porches, lanais, and the upstairs has been completely taken over. It's become very stressful for me to be home...during pregnancy especially I get feeling like I want my house a certain way, I did not expect them to take over the house.

It kind of sucks on an emotional level for me, this whole situation. Next time if I want to help someone I'll just go work at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter or something.

Yeah I work for Child Protective Services and they sadly remind me of families I have had to assist before. Do you know the laws on how to legally evict? You have the notice of the 31st, I would be at this point looking into legal ramifications if they do not vacate so you are not surprised and not what you need to do next.

Good luck and I hope they get out when you ask them!

 

[EarthMama]

Honestly it sounds like they need social services to intervene. I would not trust they are looking for a place, I certainly hope they are....but their laziness probably does not lead to them wanting to leave in a hurry!

That's exactly what my husband is worrying about too. He thinks they've gotten way too comfortable. They did sign a lease with us that says they have to be out on the 31st of May though.

Yesterday her boyfriend knew we were unhappy with him so he promised that today he would go job hunting. Did that happen today? Nope. I spent all day doing all my dishes, and theirs...their stuff is hogging up all my porches, lanais, and the upstairs has been completely taken over. It's become very stressful for me to be home...during pregnancy especially I get feeling like I want my house a certain way, I did not expect them to take over the house.

It kind of sucks on an emotional level for me, this whole situation. Next time if I want to help someone I'll just go work at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter or something.

Yeah I work for Child Protective Services and they sadly remind me of families I have had to assist before. Do you know the laws on how to legally evict? You have the notice of the 31st, I would be at this point looking into legal ramifications if they do not vacate so you are not surprised and not what you need to do next.

Good luck and I hope they get out when you ask them!

Yes, I was researching this situation today online for what to do next if they aren't out on the 31st.

I'm so stressed about it, I just want to be alone and to get all nesty and prepare for my baby and they have literally taken over my house, this is pretty hard on me to tolerate and my hormones are not helping.